dealing with your other half who eats like a pig

dgirllamius

I'm pretty sure I'm not alone on this one, but my boyfriend eats like a pig. He can eat and eat and eat and never put on any weight.

He has a tendancy to eat in front of me...crisps, sweets etc. His dinner plate is always loaded with junk whereas mine is just....well...pathetic.

I'm finding this pretty hard to deal with - having him scoff his face in front of me while I can't enjoy anything. Anyone else have this problem? How do you deal with it?

Like today, he says he wants a doner kabab...so he goes and buys one...stuffs his face in front of me, doesn't even offer if I want anything and he thinks this is OK. I'm tearing my hair out just because he can eat like a pig and he does it in front of me too.

How am I meant to lose weight when I'm living with a gannet?

ARGHHHHH!!!!!

gooberr4

have you tried telling him how you feel? I'm sure he doesn't really mean it to be hard for you. You just have to stay strong and keep reminding yourself that you are doing this for you and your body. stay healthy!

bunchesonothing

No offense, but... will power.

You've got it! Use it!

He doesn't have to change his habits just because you are doing so...

EDIT: ...Unless he just started this behavior when you started trying to lose weight.

singin_sunrise

He may not need to change his habits, but he needs to be supportive of what you are trying to accomplish. And, honestly, that eating is going to catch up with him one day.

Ellastrong

This is how I started dealing with this situation myself. I started making my super healthy meals look as amazing as possible. I put lots of effort into it and when I would look at what he was eating, it didn't even compare to mine! Eventually he started asking me to make the same thing for him. It takes time, but eventually he came around!

RickRedding

And if that doesn't work - telling him how he's affecting your life goals and asking for help - perhaps a different boyfriend...? I'm just sayin'...

cwilson466

I think this is a really common problem, especially for women who don't burn nearly as many calories as men. My husband insists on eating red meat in every meal. I try to make spaghetti for dinner without blowing my calorie budget, but he won't eat it unless it has fatty ground beef in the sauce and lots of it! It is difficult to deal with, but I have realized that after I get used to eating more healthfully I actually don't like the unhealthy food as much. Just stick to it and once every couple of weeks give in to temptation and have a little bit of the tempting food. You might also try thinking of those crisps and sweets and disgusting food that you can't imagine eating (again, hard to do but it may work after some practice).

kaitlinmre

I know exactly how you feel, my boyfriend is the same way, but he HAS put on some weight--and it doesn't bother him. While I commend him for being comfortable, its rather frustrating that he eats four course meals when we go out and I'm eating a quarter of the calories he is.

rockieschick

I must say...yes....will power.
I lost lots of weight after the birth of our baby and it wasnt easy. I had to be more then strict and he just kept on eating whatever he wanted. It made me mad but really he didnt need to lose the weight, i did. It was even harder over the Christmas holidays because then not only him but almost everyone eats like a pig....lol

Will power, you can do it!

Erica002

My husband is the same way. Although because of his work, he really does need the calories. But he refuses to eat strictly healthy. He buys twinkies, cookies..me being a stay at home mom I have to stare at it every day and he expects me to make a full course meal each night and it really does make it hard! Like others have said, you've got to just have the will power.

iamMaLisa

My husband and son eat whatever they want also, but they are considerate to me a good deal of the time. Its hard, but i look at it as " if i eat this, i will have to work out X amount to work it off" is it worth it or not? i most always find some other food thats lower fat/ calories. Hungry girl is great they do alot of swaps for everyday favorite foods making it lower fat/calories. Its hard and he should care more about what your trying for.

jagh09

I have the same issue! My hubby, loves his junk food. But a lot of it is your attitude (and mine too) about food. You are feeling like you're depriving yourself because you're not getting to eat what he's eating. We suffer from junk food envy (particularly with the kebab, my mouth waters just thinking about it). My husband will sit and devour a bag of crisps and then go on and eat an entire box of cookies as a "snack" while I'm cooking us a healthy dinner! It's infuriating.

But, you have to look at what you are eating, why you're eating healthier and not worry about his food choices. Savor your wonderful healthy meals. Use lots of herbs and colorful veggies. You deserve to feel healthy, fit, energized and ready to take on the world. You can make it work in your new lifestyle to have a kebab with him once a week. Just plan for it, plan your calories and exercise.

Some suggestions, which others have already mentioned:

1. Explain to him how this makes you feel, and that you want him to support your efforts. That you are getting healthy for yourself, which will make you feel better, and ultimately make you a better partner because you'll just generally feel better. You'd like his support in those efforts.

2. I love the idea of making your meal look pretty! Give HIM the food envy.

3. Look yourself in the mirror every day and remind yourself that you are better than a bag of crisps! You deserve a healthy heart and a life filled with energy. You deserve to be happy and sweets aren't going to make that happen.

4. Focus on you, not on him.

Good luck with it! It's a constant struggle when sharing your life with other people. You have to battle through and just worry about yourself. You can do it!

sharonfincher1

My opinion; If u like it... eat it.... have a little here and a little there..... no over indulging.. if u deny urself u make it harder on yourself in the long run....You just have to be aware of your calories as you go along..... and if necessary,add a walk at the end of the day to burn a few more calories to allow for the splurge. Balance your food diary out during the day to allow for the extra calories....Just my thoughts

Moriarty_697

I can understand being upset because he didn't offer to get you something. That's a little rude. As for eating in front of you, well, that's life. You can't expect his metabolism to slow and appetite to disappear just because you are making changes. Would you really rather he start sneaking around, scarfing snacks when he thinks you aren't looking?

bunchesonothing

He may not need to change his habits, but he needs to be supportive of what you are trying to accomplish. And, honestly, that eating is going to catch up with him one day.

So, being supportive in this case would mean, what? Umm... changing his habits?

I'm sorry here, I am, but every time I read a thread like this... it...

Everyone here has got to get to the point where they can say no to tempting food. If they do not, food will always be an issue.

What does everyone do, avoid parties and get togethers with friends because food will be there?

This weekend I went to a party. There was a lot of ridiculously wonderful food... that I couldn't really track. Small portions. Didn't load my plate. but ate until I was comfortably full. Skipped on deserts because I was already full and I know that pumpkin cheesecake and flaky, wonderful blueberry pie would definitely put me over.

EDIT: It's really not that bad.

Gilbrod

I used to have a problem with it. My wife is able to eat whatever, and she doesn't gain weight. But then again, she runs 3 miles every other day like if it were a walk in the park. I let her do it and not complain. I think to myself, this will make my will power even stronger for whenever I go out to eat, or hang with friends. If you can't deal with it, then talk with him. You can't have a good relationship if you don't communicate. Don't tell him he can't eat; just ask if he could not do it in front of you. Also, your tone of voice and body language, while telling him this, will also matter. You can yell at him and get one reaction, or you can kill him with soft and kind words. Good luck!

LorinaLynn

I'm going to take the opposite approach... If you feel deprived aren't enjoying what you're eating, it's time to make a change.

I love all the foods I eat, and have never felt deprived. I make sure what I'm eating fits in my calories, and I'll exercise my *kitten* off to ensure I can fit it in my calories. I can probably count the number of salads I've had as a full meal on one hand over the last six months. Bunny food doesn't satisfy me.

Deprivation will only lead to frustration, fatigue and failure.

Don't eat something just because "it's good for you." Eat it because you enjoy it. There's so many tasty healthy options out there, there's no need to be dissatisfied with what you're eating.

sracaxaj

Hey. That sounds like it would be difficult! My partner and I have very different mentalities of how to lose weight so I wonder if I give him some of this "junk food" envy.

While he has tried to eliminate anything that is an obvious junk food/convenience store type thing completely he sometimes ends up eating very calorie/fat high foods and meals. I on the other hand will indulge in a popsicle or even a couple of squares of chocolate (as long as I'm eating healthy meals and keeping pretty close to my calorie goals).

For me, a big thing that helps is really evaluating carefully how much I enjoy a specific junk food and how much I need of it to enjoy it. Often, the answer is that lots of things that fall under junk food just aren't worth it because (1) they end up making you feel sick after (2) they are empty calories. For other types of junk, just a little bit will satisfy (but it depends on your personality and will-power whether this approach works for you. I have just come to realize that a lot of times I just think I have learned to crave anything because it is junk without putting much thought into how much I will actually savour that specific food. I am finding I am evaluating it a lot more the way I evaluate other food now!

Don't know if this is helpful but hope it is!

dgirllamius

Its not so much the fact he eats it in front of me, its the fact he practically rubs it in my face. Saying things like "oh this is so good" or "ahh that aint enough for me, I want more" etc. He is as skinny as a rake, never puts on weight despite what he eats.

I couldn't care less if he ate junk all day, all that sugar aint gonna do him no good regardless of whether he's skinny or not, its just the fact he likes to rub it in.

He bought a massive packet of crisps earlier, afterward saying "I'm gonna eat that whole bag" and I'm like "yeah, you do that". He doesn't just eat a lot now and then, he eats all the time, akways rubbing it in.

Its the rubbing in I can't handle, I have willpower and I don't give into temptation but I wish he would stop with his rubbing my face right in it. He might as well rubbed that kebab in my face literally and said "no you aint having any!"

bunchesonothing

Now that's jerky.

I would talk to him about it. It sounds like he might think he's being funny. Let him know he isn't.

daylitemag

It sounds to me like you may have a larger problem here. If he is "rubbing it in" as you say, then that shows a great deal of disrespect. It may be time to re-evaluate this relationship. You don't need to be treated this way by someone who is supposed to care for you and want you to be happy.

Gilbrod

He may not need to change his habits, but he needs to be supportive of what you are trying to accomplish. And, honestly, that eating is going to catch up with him one day.

So, being supportive in this case would mean, what? Umm... changing his habits?

I'm sorry here, I am, but every time I read a thread like this... it...

Everyone here has got to get to the point where they can say no to tempting food. If they do not, food will always be an issue.

What does everyone do, avoid parties and get togethers with friends because food will be there?

This weekend I went to a party. There was a lot of ridiculously wonderful food... that I couldn't really track. Small portions. Didn't load my plate. but ate until I was comfortably full. Skipped on deserts because I was already full and I know that pumpkin cheesecake and flaky, wonderful blueberry pie would definitely put me over.

EDIT: It's really not that bad.

If there was a like button, I would have used it here. Someone needs to be the stronger person.

Kalrez

I'm in a little bit of a similar situation. Kinda.

My boyfriend eats the healthy dinners that I make. Heck, sometimes he even cooks some amazing things too. He started exercising with me ... but that lasted 2 days. Oh well. We went grocery shopping last night. I was putting veggies and healthier items in the cart. He was doing that too, but he also got sodas, cakes, sugary cereal, ice cream, etc. It's not the end of the world for my will power or my dietary changes.

Does it suck that I see those pecan spins every time I open the cabinet? You bet it does! But ya know what? I'm stronger than a snack cake. I'm bigger than a soda. And I'm worth more than a half gallon of ice cream.

Kalrez

Its not so much the fact he eats it in front of me, its the fact he practically rubs it in my face. Saying things like "oh this is so good" or "ahh that aint enough for me, I want more" etc. He is as skinny as a rake, never puts on weight despite what he eats.

I couldn't care less if he ate junk all day, all that sugar aint gonna do him no good regardless of whether he's skinny or not, its just the fact he likes to rub it in.

He bought a massive packet of crisps earlier, afterward saying "I'm gonna eat that whole bag" and I'm like "yeah, you do that". He doesn't just eat a lot now and then, he eats all the time, akways rubbing it in.

Its the rubbing in I can't handle, I have willpower and I don't give into temptation but I wish he would stop with his rubbing my face right in it. He might as well rubbed that kebab in my face literally and said "no you aint having any!"

In that case, F 'em. If your home is big enough, go into another room when he starts acting like a punk. Physically remove yourself from his presence. If he doesn't take the hint that you don't want to be around that kind of jerky behavior, then spell it out for him. If that doesn't work, kick him to the curb. There are plenty of other boyfriends out there. There's only one YOU!

MsKeelah919

My honey is very slim and has the fastest metabolism EVER!!! So he has to try as hard to gain weight as I have to lose it. Try that one. Sit next to someone eating everything but the kitchen sink and seeing the weight NOT STICK!! LOL

I dont mind it. I know his goals are diff. than mine and that means that we wont have the same stuff. My fam ate pizza the other night, that HAD to be the BEST PIZZA THAT I'VE EVER SEEN!! My mouth is literally salivating RIGHT NOW!!

I made a meal that was so delicious, so decadent and so healthy that I didnt care much how good that pizza must taste. I was uber proud of me for enjoying foods that were in line with my goals. So instead of just feeling stuffed, satisfied and guilty (as I wouldve felt had I eaten pizza), I felt proud, accomplished and still very satisfied!! yum!

I'd recommend getting creative with your meals. When my fam has hamburgers, I have turkey burgers w/lots of added veggies and intense seasonings! When they have steak, I have grilled chicken or fish with the same sides as they have.

Just dont look at his food as 'good'. Its not...for you! Good luck!

MsKeelah919

I just realized that sometimes my honey REALLLY enjoys his food enough that he makes comments and moans as well!! LOL

When he REALLY likes the cookies, chips, pop, whatever he's eating, I tend to tell him how much I REALLLY love my yogurt and strawberries, or how good I feel eating whatever it is I'm having.

We both LOVE food. Since I've changed my goals, I just now enjoy healthier versions!! And I enjoy eating just as much as I always have. Just now, when I enjoy my food, I know that I'm still losing weight and inches!! How awesome is THAT??

MsKeelah919

This is how I started dealing with this situation myself. I started making my super healthy meals look as amazing as possible. I put lots of effort into it and when I would look at what he was eating, it didn't even compare to mine! Eventually he started asking me to make the same thing for him. It takes time, but eventually he came around!

I agree with this! I LOVE presentation of food, and aromas and depth of flavor and texture. He ALWAYS comments on how good my food looks/smells. Most times, he even asks for a taste and enjoys it immensely!!

All food can be good food!!