The almost creepy but not quite creepy neighbor.

Becca_007

hm, I can so relate! Now this may be mentioned after your post but I simply read your post and am now responding. How about headphones? Wearing them but not having them in use so you can look like you can't hear but can quietly read your book, play in your pool etc.

I have a whole neighborhood of weirdo's and have learned various ways of dealing with them better than I used too. In the past I'd get my mail from down the block at Midnight, take out my trash (I live upstairs in an upper apt) at crazy time when I didn't figure I'd run into anyone.

I know what a hassle altering your own life can be but the headphones might be something that you could try, along with ignoring, avoiding eye contact etc. Sometimes that works, hopefully one of those ideas will end the feeling trapped in your house feeling!:glasses:

I'm so sorry you're having to deal with this in your own space, no fair at all! Though I can't picture your backyard would putting up one of those Lattice Trellis fences work to at least cover the spot that isn't covered this year by the plant?

Wishing you the best in an awkward situation.

No, I'd never say "Ohhh he needs a friend, he's lonely" not after living here!! :grumble: :flowerforyou:

LisaCFSF

I've got the same situation! I have an 8' round "rotisserie chicken" pool that I can do kicks in with a board, swim a little, or float around in circles on a raft, henceforth my nickname for the pool! My soon-to-be 81 yr old neighbor (he informed me of his age today), who looks a decade younger, has ALWAYS "sneaked up on me" while I was cutting grass in a bikini top and shorts, working in my garden, on my deck, or in the pool. He would come up and hug me repeatedly even despite my protests that I was sweaty and even covered with cut grass. His yard is directly behind mine, our backyards meet at my chain-link fence. I have planted trees & shrubs, but can still feel him there. I had the luck to run into him at Wally World today, where he hugged me a little too tightly as usual! I will wear a bikini in MY yard in preferable seclusion NOT for public viewing. Not only am I WAY too uncomfortable with my body to be seen in such, he is just creepy-a nice enough guy, but definitely somewhat creepy! And he never does it it his wife has ventured out onto their deck. Sorry, you have to deal with it also.

Pebble321

This would piss me off, I think you have a perfect right privacy in your own back yard.
If you don't have enough plants for privacy, I'd be looking at some other kind of screen - can you get something else to cover up the area where the plants haven't grown? I'm sure I've seen some twiggy looking panels that you can unroll and attach to a fence.
I'd be straight off to the local hardware shop to see what they have.
In the meantime, the big umbrella on an angle is a great suggestion too.

kellygirl5538

You know something creepy happend to me today....some dude from the gym somehow found out where I live, in the country and pulled up my driveway...,my kids were scared by someone coming up the driveway.....the dude is married and he is always making body comments! CREEPY

amysj303

neighborhood situations are so fraught! You can't be rude to him and you can't really say anything to his wife, that would be weirder, I mean, approaching her with your concerns. Even if you completely ignored him like you were deaf, it wouldn't make you more comfortable. You just have to go out there and maybe put some headphone in and if he tries to get your attention just wave and nod and go back to your book or close your eyes or whatever. Not ideal, just lesser of the evils, methinks.

Becca_007

Put headphones on - even if you're not listening to anything - he won't bother trying to start a conversation with you. (I do this on public transport all the time)

Mirrored sunglasses so you can see if he's looking at you.

If none of these work - a big fence

Love this, you typed faster than me! LOL I really like this persons idea of mirrored sunglasses, that really might give you a feeling of getting some power back.

Becca_007

Omg! That sucks! I hate people like that. I'm relatively introverted too and unless I start a conversation with someone, I usually don't want to have one. But like you said, some people just don't take the clues.

He's not nearly as creepy as my neighbors, though. There's an old couple across the street from me in their 80s and the lady sits out on her porch and spies on everyone with her binoculars. It's creepy going outside to get the mail and she's staring at me through binoculars from across the street. Lol.

ew! So wrong in so many ways, so sorry you have to deal with crazy, snoopy binocular lady Hon!:frown: :sick:

Becca_007

You know something creepy happend to me today....some dude from the gym somehow found out where I live, in the country and pulled up my driveway...,my kids were scared by someone coming up the driveway.....the dude is married and he is always making body comments! CREEPY

ew, all over again! Who are THESE wacko's!! Yea OK, seriously scary stalking gym guy in your driveway in the Country... these ppl are really starting to piss me off! Where's our privacy? I hate to even think how he found your home, likely following you.

Be careful Hon!!:flowerforyou:

jtsmou

I'm a creepy neighbor

PlanetVelma

Omg! That sucks! I hate people like that. I'm relatively introverted too and unless I start a conversation with someone, I usually don't want to have one. But like you said, some people just don't take the clues.

He's not nearly as creepy as my neighbors, though. There's an old couple across the street from me in their 80s and the lady sits out on her porch and spies on everyone with her binoculars. It's creepy going outside to get the mail and she's staring at me through binoculars from across the street. Lol.

One of my old neighbors growing up used to sit @ her window looking through her binoculars...lol she was a bit on the paranoid side, and she would always watch our house when we were out of town, etc... She was my favorite neighbor even though she was a mean old bitty and nosey to boot. She was just super paranoid, had been robbed before....and she held that burglar at bay with a PITCH FORK, she was NOT gonna let them get away I guess. So I knew why she did the things she did and it didn't bother me too much...except when she would catch me after curfew in her binoculars. LOL

Now when I was a kid, I had to tell my dad about a "nice lonely old man" who attended our church. This "nice lonely old man" would always sit by me in church, try to hold hands, hug me everytime he saw me, etc.... it took my dad to tell him to stay away or he would bury him in the desert for that old man to leave me alone! No matter how many times I would try to politely tell him to back the hell off he NEVER got it, but he did GET it when my dad told him.

I do like the umbrella idea...maybe a large barking, slobbering dog as well...rottweiller comes to mind (LOL)

I HATE when neighbors try to talk to me over the fence - that annoys the *kitten* out of me!

mamijujuphat

That is a bad situation...but what's important is that you get your privacy back...it's not fair for you to feel uncomfortable in your own backyard...I agree with putting something to give you privacy ...bamboo fencing is inexpensive & might use it to provide you with much more needed privacy ...or an umbrella...hope you can solve your issue.....to the best for everyone...so you can enjoy your pool

LisaCFSF

You know something creepy happend to me today....some dude from the gym somehow found out where I live, in the country and pulled up my driveway...,my kids were scared by someone coming up the driveway.....the dude is married and he is always making body comments! CREEPY

Notify the local police and if comments continue, get a restraining order! I've seen a lot of incidences both on television and in the news, where this could very feasibly turn into something really ugly. He apparently has an obsession with you to go so far as to follow you home. That's scary and I'm sure it was unsettling for your children. I don't know your views on this, but being armed (safely and legally of course) is always an option. I wouldn't just shrug this off.

TheTeeWhy

I have a neighbour who is just plain pain in the *kitten* V_v I really dislike all the neighbours around here no since their bratty kids have grown up and decide to trample through everyones yards and stuff. The parents are some of the most piss poor excuses for parents I've ever seen too. Guy would rather sit around drinking cheap beer, hanging out with teenagers(guys in his 40s) and smoke his crappy skunk weed than actually make an effort in raising his children, makes me mad.
(I have nothing wrong with people smokin pot, but the whole neighbourhood doesn't need to know. >_>

Anyways, that said I know what it's like to have the fun and enjoyment of your own backyard compromised by creepy/annoying people. Sucks

cartern1

You know something creepy happend to me today....some dude from the gym somehow found out where I live, in the country and pulled up my driveway...,my kids were scared by someone coming up the driveway.....the dude is married and he is always making body comments! CREEPY

I sincerely hope you have reported this to the police and to the manager of the gym.
There could be a data protection issue at the gym.

joeysrib

My father in law is that way, always watching whenever we leave and comeback, did I mention that my in laws live across the road? So, ok, I have tankini swimsuits, and yeah a kiddie pool, not quite as big as yours, but out I go, and I pull up the tank part to right under my girls, and at 304 pounds, it ain't pretty, up walks my father in law. For no reason, just to shoot the breeze. All the while, I'm wishing he would just leave.

Finally one day, I said something to my mother in law, along the lines of while I enjoy visiting, I really would rather he wait until I am clothed, and come over. He stopped coming over when my husband isn't home. Still comes over too much for my liking, but at least he waits until hubs is home.

LorinaLynn

You know something creepy happend to me today....some dude from the gym somehow found out where I live, in the country and pulled up my driveway...,my kids were scared by someone coming up the driveway.....the dude is married and he is always making body comments! CREEPY

I sincerely hope you have reported this to the police and to the manager of the gym.
There could be a data protection issue at the gym.

Yes, this!!!! That's completely unacceptable.

I'm feeling much better now, after over an hour of floating in seclusion with him nowhere in sight. Granted, it had become really cloudy and looked like it was going to rain at any second and I was actually kind of chilly, but still...

I'm really glad he's not a hugger or anything like that. *shudder*

As luck would have it, he's one of the few people my dog (just a little Pekingese, but very vocal) doesn't bark at anymore. Beavis has accepted the old guy as part of the scenery.

It's pretty much just ONE of the Rose of Sharon shrubs that's being a slacker. I could probably train my honeysuckle to grow along the empty spot on the fence. Short term, some nice fast growing morning glories might fill in the gap. Nice thing about those shrubs, though, they multiply like crazy. I can probably dig up a young one from somewhere else in the yard.

Until then, my giant bug-eye Jackie O style sunglasses will come in handy.

ZenMomentum

I've had the hermit problem too. Whenever I feel that way I need to ask myself "Why am I afraid to be honest with this person?". Every challenge we face is an opportunity to grow as an individual.

I can continue to build more walls around myself or I can address what really makes me feel uncomfortable around other people. For me it was a fear of hurting other people and being hurt by other people. As a result, I end up like a turtle in a shell, which is no way to live. It's easier to accept that in life there's going to be some pain.

I don't think I can truly ever 'be fit' if I don't address my heart and mind as well as my body.

mikeyml

I'm going to be honest here and hope you don't take it the wrong way. I would bet this guy has no idea he is bothering you. A lot of older people like to know their neighbors and strike up conversations. For them, real life interactions are much better than watching television, playing on the internet or texting on their smart phone. Anyway, I really don't see how he is being creepy or why he is being labeled a weirdo. He sounds like he just enjoys talking to people and sitting in his back yard.

On the other hand, I totally agree that you shouldn't feel uncomfortable about using your back yard. I would just plant bigger bushes and be done with it. In fact, you could even bring a small stereo outside and play music without headphones. I'm betting he wouldn't approach you if he heard the stereo on.

LorinaLynn

Mikey, that's exactly how I feel about him. The only thing he's doing "wrong" is not reading my too subtle (for him) "don't bother me" cues of sunglasses, books, and privacy hedge. He is just a friendly guy who talks to everyone.

Panda_Jack

sunglasses and headphones. That way you can pretend to not see him or hear him while you read your book.
Oh and turn the pool so you can have your back to the hedge so you really don't see him.