How to Write a 20 Page Research Paper in Under a Day
binary_jester
Posts: 3,311 Member
http://www.nerdparadise.com/litcomp/silly/20pagepaper/
So you've procrastinated again. You told yourself you wouldn't do this 2 months ago when your professor assigned you this. But you procrastinated anyway. Shame on you. It's due in a few hours. What are you going to do?
Pick a Topic
The more "legally-oriented" your topic is, the better. You'll see why.
It has to be something you feel strongly about. Strong as in it makes you want to open your window and yell and shake your fist about it at joggers passing by. That strong.
It also has to be something that you already know some stuff about.
It also needs to have some depth to it. It can't be like "We should have free pizza in lecture every Friday". That's lame. -Unless you're really creative, then that could possibly work if your professor has a sense of humor and you really can write 20 pages about something silly like that.
Make a list
...of every possible outcome that this issue could cause in
...the near future
...the far future
...of every person that this topic affects.
...of any instances where this topic has come in the news.
...what you would do about this topic if you had the chance/power/enough-sugar
...any little detail you can think of
The important thing about this is to think of ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, no matter how silly or far-fetched. It'll make your professor go "hmm, didn't think about that one". You can even get your friends to help you with this one. The more the merrier. It's best to do this on a computer, because...
Reorder everything
Put your most obvious argument first.
Then put weird off the wall stuff, regardless of importance.
Put the strongest argument for your case next.
Now list the incidents that will help argue for your point. Don't know of any incidents in the news to help argue your point? That's ok. Make up some, except keep it really really generic. When it comes time to quote the source, remember this: There are over 6 billion people in the world. There are countless newspapers and other sources that document people doing...stuff. If you list incidents that are generic enough and your topic isn't extremely weird, at least one person out there has done something notable/stupid/crazy enough to make it to the news. Also, people have sued each other over everything imaginable. Find a court case database. Your topic has SOMEHOW manifested itself in court at some point in history. I can almost guarantee it. Just make sure that the situations you come up with are physically possible.
Now, list everything that could be construed to be the answer to the question "if elected, what would you do about this issue?"
It's best to keep all this in the form of an outline.
Spaces
Now add several lines of space under each bullet. Keep adding spaces until your text document has reached the goal size of your paper.
Now print it out.
Get the hell away from your computer
I'm serious.
No really, get away from the computer.
Go outside and sit under a tree. If you hate outside, or if it's too cold for humans to survive, or if there's a band of rabid dogs roaming your neighborhood, good. It'll help you write faster.
The reason why you should do this is because everyone magically becomes ADD when they are near a computer. You can check your AIM messages later.
Write
Write a fiery rant in each of the spaces you alloted. Get pumped. Just don't begin every paragraph with "I swear upon my father's grave..." Also try not to repeat yourself too much. Be very specific. Talk to your reader as though they've never heard of your subject before. Write at about the same size that your typed version will be. Don't worry too much if you don't fill in all the spaces. But if you feel strongly enough about your topic, then this really shouldn't be a problem. If you're like me and can't think linearly you can skip around as much as you want.
Go Back Inside
Type everything. You'll also notice more things occur to you as you type. Go ahead and throw them in in the corresponding categories. Don't jump around too much at this point though. Maintain focus and bash out that essay as fast as possible. Although you should do this as fast as possible, be a typo nazi. Those little things really make it evident you did this at the last minute.
Time for that whole "research" part
Believe it or not, nothing you said was original. Remember what I said earlier about 6 billion people? Apply now. Pick each topic/case/scenario/subpoint. Anything you had to say about those has already been said by some scholar or professor or newspaper. Google it up. It won't take long. Take a few key words from your main argument of each section and see what you get. Paraphrase their main argument or quote a few lines. Add the proper citations. Do NOT plagiarize.
Formatting
Some word processors are capable of non-integer spacing. Try 2.1 or 2.2 spacing.
There's also the Good ol' Margin trick
Title page
Did your professor specify to use MLA citations? She/he didn't? Good. APA citation guidelines are much more friendly with website sources. Check it out.
Print.
Turn in.
Good job. Have a cookie.
So you've procrastinated again. You told yourself you wouldn't do this 2 months ago when your professor assigned you this. But you procrastinated anyway. Shame on you. It's due in a few hours. What are you going to do?
Pick a Topic
The more "legally-oriented" your topic is, the better. You'll see why.
It has to be something you feel strongly about. Strong as in it makes you want to open your window and yell and shake your fist about it at joggers passing by. That strong.
It also has to be something that you already know some stuff about.
It also needs to have some depth to it. It can't be like "We should have free pizza in lecture every Friday". That's lame. -Unless you're really creative, then that could possibly work if your professor has a sense of humor and you really can write 20 pages about something silly like that.
Make a list
...of every possible outcome that this issue could cause in
...the near future
...the far future
...of every person that this topic affects.
...of any instances where this topic has come in the news.
...what you would do about this topic if you had the chance/power/enough-sugar
...any little detail you can think of
The important thing about this is to think of ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, no matter how silly or far-fetched. It'll make your professor go "hmm, didn't think about that one". You can even get your friends to help you with this one. The more the merrier. It's best to do this on a computer, because...
Reorder everything
Put your most obvious argument first.
Then put weird off the wall stuff, regardless of importance.
Put the strongest argument for your case next.
Now list the incidents that will help argue for your point. Don't know of any incidents in the news to help argue your point? That's ok. Make up some, except keep it really really generic. When it comes time to quote the source, remember this: There are over 6 billion people in the world. There are countless newspapers and other sources that document people doing...stuff. If you list incidents that are generic enough and your topic isn't extremely weird, at least one person out there has done something notable/stupid/crazy enough to make it to the news. Also, people have sued each other over everything imaginable. Find a court case database. Your topic has SOMEHOW manifested itself in court at some point in history. I can almost guarantee it. Just make sure that the situations you come up with are physically possible.
Now, list everything that could be construed to be the answer to the question "if elected, what would you do about this issue?"
It's best to keep all this in the form of an outline.
Spaces
Now add several lines of space under each bullet. Keep adding spaces until your text document has reached the goal size of your paper.
Now print it out.
Get the hell away from your computer
I'm serious.
No really, get away from the computer.
Go outside and sit under a tree. If you hate outside, or if it's too cold for humans to survive, or if there's a band of rabid dogs roaming your neighborhood, good. It'll help you write faster.
The reason why you should do this is because everyone magically becomes ADD when they are near a computer. You can check your AIM messages later.
Write
Write a fiery rant in each of the spaces you alloted. Get pumped. Just don't begin every paragraph with "I swear upon my father's grave..." Also try not to repeat yourself too much. Be very specific. Talk to your reader as though they've never heard of your subject before. Write at about the same size that your typed version will be. Don't worry too much if you don't fill in all the spaces. But if you feel strongly enough about your topic, then this really shouldn't be a problem. If you're like me and can't think linearly you can skip around as much as you want.
Go Back Inside
Type everything. You'll also notice more things occur to you as you type. Go ahead and throw them in in the corresponding categories. Don't jump around too much at this point though. Maintain focus and bash out that essay as fast as possible. Although you should do this as fast as possible, be a typo nazi. Those little things really make it evident you did this at the last minute.
Time for that whole "research" part
Believe it or not, nothing you said was original. Remember what I said earlier about 6 billion people? Apply now. Pick each topic/case/scenario/subpoint. Anything you had to say about those has already been said by some scholar or professor or newspaper. Google it up. It won't take long. Take a few key words from your main argument of each section and see what you get. Paraphrase their main argument or quote a few lines. Add the proper citations. Do NOT plagiarize.
Formatting
Some word processors are capable of non-integer spacing. Try 2.1 or 2.2 spacing.
There's also the Good ol' Margin trick
Title page
Did your professor specify to use MLA citations? She/he didn't? Good. APA citation guidelines are much more friendly with website sources. Check it out.
Print.
Turn in.
Good job. Have a cookie.
0
Replies
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i love this! and it totally may come in handy next week!0
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OOOOOOOKKKKKKKKK? Next time I'm faced with having to turn in a 20 page report I will keep this in mind. But seeing as how I got thru HS and College never having to do a 20 page report, I'm thinking I won't have to worry to much about this, but again thanks.
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Hahaha, I love this! I made it all through college with honors by never writing a single paper before the day it was due. I don't recommend it, but it works for me. Especially that "have a cookie" part, lol.0
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OOOOOOOKKKKKKKKK? Next time I'm faced with having to turn in a 20 page report I will keep this in mind. But seeing as how I got thru HS and College never having to do a 20 page report, I'm thinking I won't have to worry to much about this, but again thanks.
Me too, I avoided the professors who required these long of papers like the plague.0 -
Hahaha this was the best! I do actually use some of those methods when I write research papers (like putting random paraphrased research in after the fact lol) but I might just do this next time I have a paper due that I forgot about (it happens a lot)0
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I AM IN THE SAME BOAT TODAY0
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This is great. I'm going to share it with my hubby who's taking a class where he has to write alot.0
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I may just use this next week... :laugh:0
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OOOOOOOKKKKKKKKK? Next time I'm faced with having to turn in a 20 page report I will keep this in mind. But seeing as how I got thru HS and College never having to do a 20 page report, I'm thinking I won't have to worry to much about this, but again thanks.
Lucky duck.0 -
I actually DID THIS!!! I wrote a 18 pager on the same day the paper was due! I ended up emailing it at 11:30 pm(Proffesor allowed us to)
It was "copare our constitution to a country the preffesor randomly picked for you...I got ZIMBABWE!!)
I got a A- I would have gotten an A= but I forgot the freakin cover letter hahahahaha0 -
********************BUMP0
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I actually DID THIS!!! I wrote a 18 pager on the same day the paper was due! I ended up emailing it at 11:30 pm(Proffesor allowed us to)
It was "copare our constitution to a country the preffesor randomly picked for you...I got ZIMBABWE!!)
I got a A- I would have gotten an A= but I forgot the freakin cover letter hahahahaha
I hope your spelling was better in the actual paper than it was in this comment. just saying.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: te amo osito!0 -
Another suggestion: If your topic lends itself to charts and graphs, include them. MS Excel has great point and click options for format your charts and graphs. Just don't make them too complicated.
And since college students are likely to be reading this thread, here's another website you should check out:
http://www.skipclasscalculator.com/
Good luck, everyone.0 -
I'm glad you included "have a cookie" I had the rest down but apparently what I had been doing wrong is NOT eating a cookie afterward. i will certainly not make the same mistake in the future!0
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Using this TONIGHT!!
I totally agree that the computer makes people ADD... that I am posting on this forum is proof. :laugh:0 -
Love it!! I don't have to write 20 pages worth, usually 10-12 pages, but I do this EVERY week.... Sunday night & Monday morning I am usually scrambling to get that paper done in time to turn it in Monday night....0
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I actually DID THIS!!! I wrote a 18 pager on the same day the paper was due! I ended up emailing it at 11:30 pm(Proffesor allowed us to)
It was "copare our constitution to a country the preffesor randomly picked for you...I got ZIMBABWE!!)
I got a A- I would have gotten an A= but I forgot the freakin cover letter hahahahaha
I hope your spelling was better in the actual paper than it was in this comment. just saying.
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: te amo osito!
HAHAH I know I just re-read it and wow my spelling was bad in my last post!0 -
bump. I totally will use this sometime.0
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wow i wish i would have thought of that while taking my physics class! lol0
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