Family Members Annoyed With Fitness?

agleckle
agleckle Posts: 235 Member
edited September 29 in Motivation and Support
So, today is my dad's birthday. I baked him a cake last night and then today I set out to look up the nutritional information online so I could log the piece of cake that I am going to eat later today. I forgot what brand of frosting I bought, so I texted my sister to take a peek inside the trash can and text me back to let me know what brand, etc. it was. She did and then asked me why I needed to know... and I was honest and told her it was because I needed to log it. She responded with "I would love to go one day without you talking about health and fitness". I don't even know how to respond to that. I find health and fitness very interesting... I don't start law school until next year and I work full time so the only thing that gets me excited and interested every day since I don't have anything else really going on is health and fitness... so that is what I talk a lot about. Her comment made me feel disheartened and now it is making me wonder how many other family members or friends are annoyed by what is very important to me. Has anyone else had this type of problem? How did you deal with it?

Replies

  • ShunkyDave
    ShunkyDave Posts: 190 Member
    So just don't talk to her about it. Find others you can share with, and later when you're healthier and happier and she asks how, tell her it was all the slow, quiet health and fitness stuff she didn't want to hear about. And then help her get there too. :)
  • kimziebaby
    kimziebaby Posts: 133 Member
    Yep. My sister is the same way. She thinks it's stupid that i'm on a diet, and she's the same weight as me. I just ignore her and do what i do.. :)
  • brattyworm
    brattyworm Posts: 2,137 Member
    dont let it get to you... maybe she is just a little jealous because you have taken the time to do this and she can't seem to find it in here to do so yet....

    you have a full website of others here that are just as excited about healthy living....... so enjoy the fact that we are all here for just that.
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
    I totally know what you mean and how it makes us feel. My in laws are like that, nothing but big people in the family. Whenever I even mention working out, or eating less and whatnot, they LITERALLY roll their eyes and/or exchange weird looks with each other. Annoys the hell outta me. Excuse me for wanting to get healthy and have a wider array of clothes to choose from.

    If its their choice to not support you, it's their own thing. But do not let it get you down!! You have us on the site to encourage you because the majority of us have gone through the same scenario! I used to let it get me down, and since Ive basically cut ties from them, my life has never been better, same goes for my fitness. But I'm not saying to cut ties with loved ones like I did, btw!! (long story, not just this issue. blargh.)
  • jesienia
    jesienia Posts: 294
    My family is the same way. They sometimes get annoyed by my counting calories or random health facts. I normally ignore any comments and continue doing what I love. I know in the end I'll be healthier and happier. That's all that counts to me.
  • justleeanne
    justleeanne Posts: 251 Member
    I don't care if it annoys my family members, I listen to them waffling on about all kinds of crap that means nothing to me and don't complain because that's what you do when you love people!!! She's probably having a bad day or feeling down about herself maybe? Try not to overthink it and worry about it too much. Keep on being positive and focus on it as much as you like!!
  • HaleyAlli
    HaleyAlli Posts: 911 Member
    Yeah, my family wasn't supportive at all in the beginning. I think they're coming around little by little (at least my mom) but it's just something you have to have a thick skin about. Don't let it get to you. Comments like that come from people who don't understand why you're doing this. You DO understand how much this change is improving your life, so just brush off the negative comments and move on. Easier said than done, I know, but that's the best way to keep your attitude positive.
  • ydeleon
    ydeleon Posts: 81
    Don't elaborate with her. But I certainly would have asked her the brand and then looked up the info online. Once people see you getting healthy they will ask you when they are ready. THe worst thing you could force health on anyone. But never let them make make you feel bad. Because what you are doing is a GREAT thing.
  • cheeksv
    cheeksv Posts: 521 Member
    I only talk about it when it comes up, even with other people who enjoy fitness too. It is something you do not who you are as an entire person. Most people do not understand the dedication it takes and wont understand your passion for it so I would maybe make an effort to not talk about it when you are around her or not mention it unless asked or it is relevant to conversation. I get eager too to talk about all the new info I get and have to keep myself in check or I will get rolled eyes and blank stares from those who could care less.

    she asked you and you told her so that is no big deal. She probably let her irritability spill over from another incident or something so don't sweat it. Just tell her she asked and you were honest.
  • mk2984
    mk2984 Posts: 36
    Don't let it get to you. I went through a phase where everyone (people at work rather than family) were always commenting on what I was eating, and not in a good way. It was really winding me up especially as some of their diets are absolutely appauling! I got to the stage where I started thinking they might be jealous that I was making losing weight look easy (not that it was for me!). Whether they thought that or not doesn't matter, but it was a way for me to look at it without getting myself annoyed with their comments!
  • sadams977
    sadams977 Posts: 27 Member
    I know how you feel!! My parents call me "carlorie counting crazy". or say I'm too obsessed with food/excercise. The way I look at it is, the way they raised me to look at food and choose food and eat didnt work out very well since I'm "obese", so something has to change! Being obsessed I think is healthy in the beginning, Im measuring food and weighing food so that I can learn what a healthy portion is. I also think a lot of it stems from other peoples insecurities about their health and nutrition. Maybe your sister would like to be as health concious as you are, but lacks the motivation. Either way, don't let it get you down! You're doing good things for you and your body, and thats all that really matters! <3
  • lbudnick
    lbudnick Posts: 6
    YES - constantly!
    We can all relate to the broken record thing but I occassionally find myself noticing a lack of interest or even a distaste for hearing about my approach to nutritiona nd exercise. Sometimes it motivates people and , I suspect sometimes it makes others feel like maybe they could be doing more for themselves if only..., and they resent being reminded so often. I try to share with those who feed off it and feed me, and avoid bringing it up with others.
  • DeviantDarkwolf2
    DeviantDarkwolf2 Posts: 363 Member
    I think some people even close to us don't quite understand what a journey we are going on. We are trying to better ourselves and when they throw in comments like that shows they really don't understand. My partner has had to put up with measuring my portions when it is his day of cooking and at first he would grumble about it. But I told him straight "hey I want to change and this is how I am doing it" since then he has been supportive. He has even had to leave my portions out at times when he has wanted to add flavor sachets that are high in sodium. Don't get discouraged though you are doing this for YOU and you need to feel proud of yourself for doing it. Talking about it just shows how high it is on your priorities so you should be patting yourself on your back!!
  • zornig
    zornig Posts: 336 Member
    Wow, that sucks. Does she have zero patience when you talk about any of your other interests? If so, you might want to ask her why she feels the need to belittle you. If it only comes up around food/diet issues, it may just be her own defensiveness or fear that you are judging her food choices. Either way, please don't let it get you down! You are doing something great for yourself, and it's very petty of your sister to discourage you.
  • annrum
    annrum Posts: 144
    It sounds to me like it could be a bit of sibling jealousy going on there - does your sister also want to get healthy maybe but doesn't have your motivation & so denigrates your achievements? She may also not be thinking about the effect her comments have on you. Irrespective, this has upset you, which is a shame when you're clearly doing an amazingly good job at getting yourself healthy, judging by all those 1/2 marathons in your signature and your weight loss :smile:

    Don't let your sister's ill-thought comment get you disheartened. Back off from talking about health & fitness with her, unless she asks first, then be as helpful & nice as you like. Do you have other friends that you can share the health & fitness stuff with? That way you've got an outlet to people that will appreciate what you're saying.
  • wonnder1
    wonnder1 Posts: 460
    She responded with "I would love to go one day without you talking about health and fitness"... Her comment made me feel disheartened and now it is making me wonder how many other family members or friends are annoyed by what is very important to me. Has anyone else had this type of problem? How did you deal with it?

    Well, she stated her opinion and the resolution she would like. She didn't say she didn't WANT you to be healthy. But maybe in *her* mind rooting through the trash is excessive. None of us want to be harped at with the same things over and over and over. It's why we all hate Justin Bieber, it isn't cause the kid can't sing. So, maybe, in the interest of peace and love and nobody hitting you over the head with white bread and full fat cheese, you could find something else for a week or two.
  • kunibob
    kunibob Posts: 608 Member
    Eh, it happens! I think my husband is getting annoyed of me talking about running...but to be fair, that's because he's dealing with tarsal tunnel syndrome at the moment and cannot run. I'm trying to keep quiet about it, but as a new addict, it's really hard to keep my big trap shut. He's also probably getting sick of me talking about food and calories and nutrients and all that stuff, though he's too polite to say so. ;)

    A few years back, I used to get annoyed about my sister talking about losing weight all the time, but that was because she was already tiny and I was much bigger and firmly in denial at the time. :P
  • JJHudgens
    JJHudgens Posts: 96 Member
    I sort fo feel bad about it....but I think I'm a lucky one because my family has come on board with me. My partner also uses MFP...not as faithfully, but completely understands my logging. And although my teens don't log what they eat, they think about their choices. MY daughter will literally skip a sweet treat because she knows she won't be, or hasn't burned the calories for it. I feel very blessed to have such a supportive family!! :)
    I honestly feel that anyone who doesn't support, is usually because they need to be on the track we are- or they just don't know better. It's all good, we all reach that journey in our own time. :) May you find more support, than "haters" along your way!
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,279 Member
    I'm lucky because my mom is a bodybuilder and part time trainer. Not only is she a wealth of knowledge but she never gets tired of talking to me about health and fitness.

    Unfortunately, she lives in a different part of the country and the only "family" member I have here is my common law partner. He is supportive emotionally but in practice he is SO BAD. Always bringing home junk food and alcohol. If I say no to it, he presses. Sometimes it's so bad I feel he is trying to sabotage my weight loss so I am dependent on him. Like he is scared what will happen if I feel strong and look great or whatever (I'm sure some of you know what I mean).

    I would say sitting them down and talking to them helps but it's pretty much just like banging your head against a brick wall. They just don't get it. :noway:

    I try to let it go. He will figure it out eventually. After all...he's just a boy :tongue: lol
  • agleckle
    agleckle Posts: 235 Member
    Wow, I was not expecting this many responses! I read every one of them and I really appreciate hearing everyone's opinion!
  • sunshinesonata
    sunshinesonata Posts: 241 Member
    So, today is my dad's birthday. I baked him a cake last night and then today I set out to look up the nutritional information online so I could log the piece of cake that I am going to eat later today. I forgot what brand of frosting I bought, so I texted my sister to take a peek inside the trash can and text me back to let me know what brand, etc. it was. She did and then asked me why I needed to know... and I was honest and told her it was because I needed to log it. She responded with "I would love to go one day without you talking about health and fitness". I don't even know how to respond to that. I find health and fitness very interesting... I don't start law school until next year and I work full time so the only thing that gets me excited and interested every day since I don't have anything else really going on is health and fitness... so that is what I talk a lot about. Her comment made me feel disheartened and now it is making me wonder how many other family members or friends are annoyed by what is very important to me. Has anyone else had this type of problem? How did you deal with it?

    OMG. YES! Finally someone else with this problem. I have this running project that I'm doing with one of my friends, and I post pictures of my runs etc on my FaceBook page in an album for people to look at. Well, I've been told many times by many people that they hate it that I'm "So obsessed" with exercising, and that they "feel like I'm trying to compete with their weight loss", or that it'll "trigger back the bad habits" that they had when they were on their journey.

    How do I deal with it? Well, I honestly don't care. I'm not doing this for anyone but myself. So if you don't want to hear about it (it's a pretty big part of my life) or see it, then don't talk to me, and delete me from FaceBook. It's really that simple. I'm not going to quit what I'm doing in order to please you and your negative attitude towards something that should be widely praised.
  • emilyanne1012
    emilyanne1012 Posts: 6 Member
    I used to have the same problem! My family sort of scoffed at me trying to be healthy, but would turn around and comment on my weight constantly, despite that I weigh at least 50 pounds less than them. So I feel your pain on that.
    But after about a year of dealing with my health ramblings, my parents decided to take their health seriously. They are eatng healthier now, and they've both lost over 30 pounds.
    So as much as it annoyed the heck out of them to lecture them, it ended up paying off in the end.
  • kparks770
    kparks770 Posts: 113 Member
    Oh yeah my gf is the same way! Im like well what do you expect?! I help volunteer 4 days a week to help her out and other then that Im home cooking and cleaning-exercising dieting.She gets aggrevated with me but I think its a little annoying to her and jealousy and the fact Im doing well.I have a hard time when shes home/off for the day cause she eats a lot of junk.I just tell her Im sick of hearing about all her stuff lol I really hope to do well and kept this off and maybe inspire her to do it too.Shes already had a heart attack when she was 24 and I worry all the time and you cant say stuff to a woman about their weight and them not get their feelings hurt or they get upset and emotionally eat,but when they get to a weight were its hard to find clothes,fit in a vehicle,or do any small activity without being totally breathless its disheartening and scary.
This discussion has been closed.