Hoarders

mikonei

Outside of professional help, there isn't much to be done. Just don't push her. That only seems to make things worse. If anything, talk to her, try and get her to see what is really important. It is not at all a quick fix situation. After 3 years the woman I live with was finally convinced that her pool ( ripped liner, broken deck, rusty sides) should be taken down.. And we only managed to get that far by telling her that we would fix the deck and find a free pool on craigslist.

cmriverside

I guess I should ask....has anybody had success in "curing" it? My mom is a closet hoarder. The living room and things are clean, but we have sheds in the backyard/guest rooms/etc FULL of stuff....It's extremely taxing. I've tried to help sooooooooo many times and the only solution I see really working is moving out. = ( Anybody have any ideas?

There are usually other psychological issues, and you aren't going to be able to "fix" it yourself.

Go to WebMD or Mayo Clinic and search for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It will lead you to other disorders as well. Often there are co-issues like anxiety, depression, ADD. The hoarders need therapeutic help. It isn't just about cleaning.

smrtcar

There is nothing YOU can do and there is NO cure. My mom is a hoarder and I cannot visit for more than 10-15 minutes. I can't sit anywhere in her place either. I've tried numerous times but have given up helping.

slwsnowman40

No, and the tv show sends me into cleaning fits.

OMG, I so happy I'm not the only one! When my wife and I watch, we just start cleaning and putting little things away. We aren't picture perfect all the time (I have an 8-, 6-year old and a 20 month old; all boys) but we are never any where near one of those shows. We are a controlled chaos; though I will loose it and start cleaning, and we both agree she doesn't like when I clean as it involves lots of trash bags and her not being able to find anything.

tonicia

So....I agree it is gross....I do feel dirty....
The show makes me cry out of frustration every time.
I know it's psychological issues deeper than cleaning.
She has almost every "cause" I've found that people start hoarding.
I get why she does it, but unfortunately it doesn't help me feel less frustrated/closed in on/etc. (Some of you know how I feel).
I have suggested therapy/tried to help her clean/written her letters/cried to her/had heart to hearts/etc etc etc a thousand times.
She refuses to even discuss it..she just gets angry and walks away..even if I stay calm. I word things in ways that aren't blaming. She doesn't want me to move out....I've told her I would.....nothing has helped.....her marriage and relationship with me and others have suffered. If I could afford to move out, I would've already. Im just stuck and don't know what to do now..if she won't accept help with the disorder or the cleaning. = (

vaughny

i am sorry i somewhat understand b/c i had to spend a lot of time at my grandma's I can't hardly visit her now b/c she has cockroaches and I hate them I also have to make sure i can visit her when i have no other plans b/c i feel like her house smells and I don't want to go any where smelling like that also i have to make sure i don't take anything in with me like a purse or jacket for fear of a cockroach going home with me. When i was little at least she didn't have bugs occaisonaly maggots outside in her trash (i gag if i see maggots even on tv). I hope your situation gets better

cmriverside

I feel for you, I really do. I had an uncle who was a hoarder, and right now I'm in a condo and my downstairs neighbor is a hoarder.

I've found in my area that Adult Protective Services can step in. I contacted the City because the smell from my downstairs neighbor's apt is so bad and I'm worried about health issues for the rest of us.

You can contact your city or county Health Department, Social Services, the police or Sherriff. They can all help you. You need to take care of your health.

Move out. That is the best thing for you. Talk to Social Services, describe your problem and ask for help. You can find roommates to share expenses. You can move out, and you will be much happier.

aprilgicker

It can be bad. Folks have to want to change. Even on the show, a women who had her children taken from her still couldn't deal with throwing away a slushy cup. To me she chose the cup over her kids. The best way to help that I have seen is to not be combative. Just make a statement about a decision they have made and leave it at that.
Like when the lady had to keep the cup. someone should have simply said. "So this cup means more to you than your kids." make it a statement not a question. don't cry, don't yell, don't threaten. Just DO
And you need to move out. save you money. do not pay for things that you don't need. cut your bills down get 2 jobs. then when you are ready a few years down the road you will need to call the appropriate people that your Mom has a hoarding issue and her house is not safe. it won't be long and she will have the rest of the house filled soon after you leave.

Wish you luck

ziggiezed

I have a friend thats a hoarder & it's really terrible i have been trying to help them get their place together as a friend, They refuse to allow me to help them get a cleaning crew. I really want to give up helping them. they have a really nice house & every time i go to help them clean we clean the exact same area i cleaned before. I feel like it is worthless work & to make things worse their pregnant. They have way to many animals to have kids and a newborn baby.

4 dogs, 4 cats, 3 chinchillas, 3 hamsters. The animals are really not house broken because they go crap anywhere in the house, I am concerned & wonder, what should i do? I would love to throw my hands up and walk away but what kind of friend would i be to do that.

Cait_Sidhe

I live with one now. Not the best of situations to be in.

Me too. I keep my own room nice and mostly clutter free. But it's become so bad I can't use the rest of the house. And this person is in complete denial that it's a problem.

mikonei

I live with one now. Not the best of situations to be in.

Me too. I keep my own room nice and mostly clutter free. But it's become so bad I can't use the rest of the house. And this person is in complete denial that it's a problem.

Yeah, the rest of the house is a mystery. There are paths to get through, but there is no seating except for the basement, which took me and 3 friends a month to clear out enough for 2 of us to move in down there. I'm amazed on a daily basis how one person can have so much of NOTHING. Well, not so much nothing, but it might as well be since she can't get to or use any of the things she spent so much money on.