MEN.................female confidence VS dominance

cskalaj

So... I see confidence and dominance as two VERY distinct things.

A confident woman knows what she believes & wants - but could very well be open to discussion/conversation/debate.
Confidence is sexy.

Dominance, however, seems to be in the same category as 'bossy' or 'rude' in that a dominant person takes what they want and bulldozes others opinions/overtures.

That's the distinction my male friends have made anyway.

What this person said except I'd take it even a step further and say that the bossy or rude "dominant" person probably does so actually out of a LACK of confidence (insecurity) or a need to prove themselves.

supertracylynn

Confidence = knowing who you are, what you're about and being okay with that.

Dominant = being able to control some(one/thing) ... This could be loudly, like controlling a conversation; quietly, like a mom gently redirecting her kids instead of yelling at them to stop; or manipulatively, like those times you stop and think, "I didn't want to watch all these kids, why the heck did i say yes? Oh, wait, the parent made me feel like I HAD to."

Submissive = being controlled by some(one/thing) ... Obviously, this is the opposite of being a dominant. A submissive can be the type to roll over and take it, like an often walked over doormat, or they can be passive aggressive about it. (the definition of passive aggressive is to Habitually be ineffective) Passive aggressive people tend to snap.

All this being said: a confident person can being either dominant or submissive. For example, I am a confident, dominant person. Because I am so confident in myself and place in life, I can choose to submit to someone else as much as I want to. So I can ease back and let someone else dominate the conversation, or I can fully submit to what is desired of me.

Does this help?

songbyrdsweet

A confident woman doesn't have to dominate her man. A woman who submits to her husband isn't subservient, she simply trusts him to make difficult decisions with the full knowledge that he puts her and the family before himself.

bzmom

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BEERRUNNER

Id hit that!!!! hahahahaha :bigsmile:

TheBraveryLover

A confident woman doesn't have to dominate her man. A woman who submits to her husband isn't subservient, she simply trusts him to make difficult decisions with the full knowledge that he puts her and the family before himself.

Perfectly said. I agree 100 percent. Nothing wrong with being submissive to your man in and out of bed. It's the trust in him that shows you have the confidence to not take control of the relationship all of the time.

FORKDOWN

I like a woman with a backbone but I dont want to be kissing her tailbone.

Sh1tsRainbows

I like a woman with a backbone but I dont want to be kissing her tailbone.

LOL :laugh:

Slimithy

I think most are hitting it about right.

Confidence is self-assurance; knowing who you are and being content with it, regardless of the opinions and thoughts of others. A confident woman maintains eye-contact, holds her head up straight, and is not afraid to speak when her voice is necessary or invited. But has no fear about remaining silent is that is the most appropriate action to take.

A Dominate woman may or may not be self-assured, but often is not self-assured. Typically Dominate women are all about everyone else knowing who she is and that they need to be content with who she is. She is always willing to speak out because she often fears others will not solicit her opinion, so she often pushes her opinion in when it is not asked for or is not necessary.

just my 2-cents

Slimithy

I like a woman with a backbone but I dont want to be kissing her tailbone.

Don't knock kissing a woman's tailbone until you've tried it...

bigislandgrrl

I like a woman with a backbone but I dont want to be kissing her tailbone.

Don't knock kissing a woman's tailbone until you've tried it...

ha ha ha

ShaeDetermined

So... I see confidence and dominance as two VERY distinct things.

A confident woman knows what she believes & wants - but could very well be open to discussion/conversation/debate.
Confidence is sexy.

Dominance, however, seems to be in the same category as 'bossy' or 'rude' in that a dominant person takes what they want and bulldozes others opinions/overtures.

That's the distinction my male friends have made anyway.

what Skylar (and lots of other people) said.

additionally, confidence is internal. it's how you feel that transcends into how you act, carry yourself, speak, etc.
dominance is external. its how you want the world to see you. you want to be powerful, important, heard, in control etc

A dominant person isn't necessarily confident, and a confident person by no means needs to be dominant.

Confidence is sexy. period.
Dominance is sexy to some and a huge turn-off to others.

therobinator

Sure, there can be a bit of dominance in confidence, but there doesn't necessarily have to be.....also, true submission requires confidence on the part of the submissive, both in his/herself and in the dominator.

rileamoyer

Conversations that make you go 'hmmmmmmmm'. Good dialoge folks!

MassiveDelta

I am a very confident person when interacting with others, and am also have a very assertive personality. I do what I want, and I don't care what anyone else things. I have been told I am a bit of an Alpha female, but when it comes to certain things I am very submissive. If I'm in a room full of strangers I do not necessarily try to take control. I like to gauge the room and learn people's tells before I assert myself. I don't know if this is submissive, but it's definitely not domineering.

Machiavellian .... your not being submissive you are like me. If I want I can be very extrovert and "life of the party" but many times I like to hang back for a bit and "assess" the situations so that I can best use it to my advantage either professionally or personally. There is extreme benefit in holding your tongue and letting someone else become the fool if you know what I mean.

In regards to the bedroom. Yes a confidant woman is a huge turn on but confidence DOES NOT mean dominance. In fact I think many dominant women are actually very insecure and that's where the dominance comes from. Being submissive is not a "must do" action its a voluntary action.

MassiveDelta

.....also, true submission requires confidence on the part of the submissive, both in his/herself and in the dominator.

This is very true

stephanielynn76

A confident woman doesn't have to dominate her man. A woman who submits to her husband isn't subservient, she simply trusts him to make difficult decisions with the full knowledge that he puts her and the family before himself.

Perfectly said. I agree 100 percent. Nothing wrong with being submissive to your man in and out of bed. It's the trust in him that shows you have the confidence to not take control of the relationship all of the time.

*this*

I am confident. I excel at whatever I put my energy towards. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know when I need to step up and speak my mind and when it's best to keep my comments to myself. I am shy by nature but I've also been known to work a room I feel great in my own skin... I'm happy with who I am. To me, that's confidence!

However, when it comes to my marriage, I'm a submissive wife. I am married to an amazing man whom I trust with all things. I trust him to make the right decisions for our family. Turning over some of that "power" to him not only gives HIM the support and confidence he needs, it takes pressure off of me so that I dont have to worry about everything. If I tried to be "dominant" over my husband (except maybe in the bedroom haha) it would be sorta like mental/emotional castration. It would send him the message that I don't trust him or that I think he's incapable. I believe he was created with that innate need to take care of me... so I let him! Don't get me wrong... I'm a smart educated motivated girl... I *could* go it alone... but I'm so fortunate that I don't have to. I adore that strong sexy man of mine. I have too much respect for him to ever try to walk all over him or bruise his ego in any way. To me being submissive verses dominant means being supportive of my man rather than trying to control everything myself!

songbyrdsweet

A confident woman doesn't have to dominate her man. A woman who submits to her husband isn't subservient, she simply trusts him to make difficult decisions with the full knowledge that he puts her and the family before himself.

Perfectly said. I agree 100 percent. Nothing wrong with being submissive to your man in and out of bed. It's the trust in him that shows you have the confidence to not take control of the relationship all of the time.

*this*

I am confident. I excel at whatever I put my energy towards. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know when I need to step up and speak my mind and when it's best to keep my comments to myself. I am shy by nature but I've also been known to work a room I feel great in my own skin... I'm happy with who I am. To me, that's confidence!

However, when it comes to my marriage, I'm a submissive wife. I am married to an amazing man whom I trust with all things. I trust him to make the right decisions for our family. Turning over some of that "power" to him not only gives HIM the support and confidence he needs, it takes pressure off of me so that I dont have to worry about everything. If I tried to be "dominant" over my husband (except maybe in the bedroom haha) it would be sorta like mental/emotional castration. It would send him the message that I don't trust him or that I think he's incapable. I believe he was created with that innate need to take care of me... so I let him! Don't get me wrong... I'm a smart educated motivated girl... I *could* go it alone... but I'm so fortunate that I don't have to. I adore that strong sexy man of mine. I have too much respect for him to ever try to walk all over him or bruise his ego in any way. To me being submissive verses dominant means being supportive of my man rather than trying to control everything myself!

Perfectly stated!

Men and women are different for a REASON. I am very happy in my womanhood and part of fully realizing your potential is understanding your purpose.

ItsCasey

A confident woman doesn't have to dominate her man. A woman who submits to her husband isn't subservient, she simply trusts him to make difficult decisions with the full knowledge that he puts her and the family before himself.

Yep, totally feel the same way, and this confounds my friends who think "modern" women are supposed to demand equal footing and equal say in everything. Sorry, but I would never marry (or even be in a relationship with) a man who didn't have the balls, the loyalty, and the intelligence to do what's best for his family. I don't need the power. I need a man who knows what to do with said power.

cparter

There is fine line. A woman has to make a man feel like a man but not be all meek and uptight.

Do not expect men to be mind readers so show and tell them what you like if you want to be an equal performer/receiver.

There are some guys who like being dominated but most guy likes to know they are in charge but want the woman to be confident enough to let them know what works for them. Guys are not as selfish as you may think. They want to know that their partner is satisfied as well. So, you have to be realistic enough to communicate to them what works best for you.