This Is Me At The Bank...
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
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Replies
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A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.0 -
if it wasnt so true, I would be mad!0 -
MAYBE IF YOU'RE BLONDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
:::::;runs.....hides....:::::::0 -
uhhhhh i do the part where i have to open my door cause i never seem to get close enough:blushing:0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: Hilarious!!! :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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:laugh: Thanks for sharing!!0
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:grumble: Yeah ya forgot about the friggin cell phone too! And how I'm usually behind you, and in a hurry! :noway:
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if it wasnt so true, I would be mad!
Well as someone who works at a credit union and who spent 9 hours working in the drive thru today watching mental giants try to use the ATM and TALK TO ME THROUGH IT...and then after realizing that there's no SPEAKER at the ATM, had to back up, almost hitting the car behind them, and go to a lane with a speaker where I could actually SPEAK TO THEM...I can tell you that there are quite a few men who seem to be following these female procedures LOL. I swear I almost strangled myself today...so Jeannie...that's what I'm proud of today...that I'm not dead from strangulation! :noway:
:ohwell: 0 -
Omg that's me at the bank!! Minus the phone part.
Good post.
It's inevitable that I get out of my car to use the machine. My arms just aren't long enough!!0 -
A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is
installing new "Drive-through" teller machines enabling customers to
withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new
facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when
accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE &
FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate
steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Sigh...sounds about right! lol0 -
This is why I walk to the bank0
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when people pay for lunch with a card and it takes them about 50 years to do it. Always carry cash for small purchase's0
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finny11122 wrote: »when people pay for lunch with a card and it takes them about 50 years to do it. Always carry cash for small purchase's
Cash? What century are you from?0 -
HawleyGriffin wrote: »
How did you get my picture0 -
TUsphg8B4zrapVx wrote: »finny11122 wrote: »when people pay for lunch with a card and it takes them about 50 years to do it. Always carry cash for small purchase's
Cash? What century are you from?
21 century. Cash is always king. Cards are great for larger purchases but for something that costs 10 euro, use cash. The problem is not the card , its the person with the IQ of a donkey using it.0 -
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ATM goddess!0
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Ya thanks. I thought you'd like it0
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@HawleyGriffin you know I'm not a numbers person. That's why I keep you around.0
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HawleyGriffin wrote: »@HawleyGriffin you know I'm not a numbers person. That's why I keep you around.
I thought it was for the snake pics I send you
Well there are those but they give me nightmares0 -
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HawleyGriffin wrote: »HawleyGriffin wrote: »@HawleyGriffin you know I'm not a numbers person. That's why I keep you around.
I thought it was for the snake pics I send you
Well there are those but they give me nightmares
awww don't cry snake boy. You know I crush you0 -
Well now I'm too scared to go to the bank I have to use the walk up machine0
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Who's Barbara? Does she know Joe? Pete?0
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I think it's funny that OP obviously had trouble posting it and posted it twice!
But that *kitten* was funny0 -
Hahahaha! That's probably pretty accurate, except that I'd add a step requiring both genders to scream at the machine, and females to cry in sheer frustration.0
This discussion has been closed.
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