how do you control yourself?

cjsgrimlin

Simply put i have trouble with control. I want to eat certain foods when my husband takes me out. I have no willpower when it comes to this. I've been trying to do better, eat smaller protions bring some home type thing, but when it comes time to order, i want what stuck in my mind not the healthy item.

When i eat at home its no junk limited pasta some rice and very little meat (tuna mostly) so i feel like i could eat the world of bad stuff when it so freely offers itself to me!!!
Don't get me wrong i don't eat out alot when i do its fast food which is horrid too, but restaurants are like my bane!!
I have very little will to workout too!! But i want to lose weight!!!

So again how do you control yourself???

jazzy1129

I had the same problem until i downloaded myfitnesspal app to my phone. Then I would look up every restaurant and see what I could eat and not feel guilty about later. Now after having the app for a few months, I am down 31 pounds and still enjoy going out to eat with friends and family. I just make healthier choices.

Gilbrod

Will power. Git some!!! Just like you build muscle, or endurance while on this journey, you must also learn to build your will power. You should be in control, not the food.

maryd523

I've had problems in the past when I want to lose weight and know I should order healthy, but I don't because I want what tastes good. I would shrug it off and tell myself that I'll eat really healthy right after this meal. Yeah....that didn't work out so well.

That is why I love this site. Tracking all my food has made a HUGE difference in my motivation to eat healthy and low-cal. I don't want to have to log a huge fattening meal, I want to log the fewest amount of calories possible, wherever I am eating. So I haven't really had any trouble ordering healthy meals when out to eat.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that you need to find your deep-down, hard-core motivation to get skinny. Then you really won't even want those gross foods.

katy4193

You can not deny yourself things you enjoy or you will do just what you are describing! Eat the things you enjoy from time to time but do it within reason! When we go to the olive garden for instance, I think ahead, and I look up the restaurant and look at the calories, deciding what I want to get. I might get the Ziti but only eat half of it, have a portion of salad and then I alot myself one breadstick. With a good work out, this is not a problem. You just have to adjust and sometimes log your dinner ahead of time so you know what you have left for calories for the rest of the day. This is supposed to be a life style change, not a diet...eat the way you are going to want to eat when you are your goal weight.

Elixandra

Its supper hard at first. I just started getting control of eating what i shouldn't over what i should and eating only the serving size. You will get it soon by using this site. It helps to see how many cals you have left and helps you pick better things so you can eat more.

jllipson

Try to look at the nutrition for where you are going before you go - Decide on a meal and stick with it - you never know, you might try a different, healthier option and find you like it just as much or better than your old go to favorite - I have honestly found this to be true at a few favorite places of mine!

As for the workout - I bought a stationary bike - put it in front of the tv. It just glares at me when I want to just be lazy until I realize - I can watch TV and get my workout, just crank up the volume a little and start pedaling - before you know it you've completed a 30 minute or longer workout!

sbrown6

You just gotta want to reach your goals more than you want that food.

1derwhy

I control myself by planning ahead, and knowing my limit. If I know that we are going out on Friday night, I'll think about what I'll order all day, so I'll be craving something healthy when it's dinner time. I'll think about what restaurant we're going to, and imagine the menu. I'll guess that they will probably have some great shrimp or seafood that I could get grilled, or a fantastic roasted chicken entree, or even a petite sirloin steak.. by the time I'm at the restaurant, I'm searching the menu for the tasty shrimp I've been craving all afternoon! If I get a steak, I ask that they sub out the baked potato for greens or green beans or other vegetables.

I also research the calorie content of the options that I"m looking forward to, so I'll be able "save up" calories by skipping a snack in order to not go over my calorie limit for the day.

SuperMoniMonk

Same happens to me .
But last time I went to a fab mexican restaurant I was so tempted to go straight for the bad choices, I eat good at home so why not just eat whatever I want at the restaurant right ..??? Well I knew i was cheating myself ..I had already treated myself to a avocado dip which is still good ...Although I so wanted the meats and the grease ..:grumble: I had to push myself to order the fish tacos -Grilled not fried. As soon as the waiter walked off I felt so proud ..plus the tacos were yummy and very filling . I onle ate one and took one home ! Next time I go there I know what to order :drinker:

So it takes determination and a little practice

sarahlopez1979

Chew a piece of strong flavored, sugar free Gum while you order and then as soon as you are done. The flavor of the gum takes away the need to eat more.

HotMamaByVday

Holy Cow girl. I looked at today's daiary and you probably need to detox a bit and not eat out for a while. Hubby needs to understand what you are trying to do so that you go out to places that fit in your new lifestyle. Good luck. Feel free to send me a friend invite if you want some motivation.

WifeMomDVM

You just gotta want to reach your goals more than you want that food.

EXACTLY!!! This is why some days I'm hard core, I'm not going to eat those fries, etc....

Then I slack and I'm like to heck with it, I'm gonna eat that HUGE piece of cake.

Then, I realize I fell off the wagon I bit and get hard core again.

I think I'll always be this way. I don't really have any suggestions for you, but once you decide you want it badly enough, you'll make the change.

Picklepower

I also have the app for my phone. I order what I want but will see if it can be done as a half size. I also will usually order one of my side dishes as a salad (not additional, but as one of the sides) so that it's a healthier option for a side and has some filling effects prior to the main portion of the meal. And lastly, I log everything I've ordered BEFORE the meal comes. That way I know where I stand If I decide to eat everything. Usually, I wind up only eating half of my order and taking the rest home. Plus, then it feels good to go back through the meal and adjust the quantities of what I ate and see how much I saved myself.

sdsmart

I guess you have really pinpointed what the difference is between people who are already slim versus those of us who have to work at it! It isn't easy and it really is about taking things one step at a time- which it sounds like you are, if you have eradicated unhealthy food from your house and now you are just struggling when you go out for dinner you are getting down to the nitty gritty!

Choosing healthy options in a restaurant is challenging at the best of times because it doesn't always feel like a 'treat' if you are ordering a chicken salad! What I do is make myself a trade-off, if I am going out I usually try and steer clear of heavy carb foods and focus on meat and veggies, i also love seafood which helps as it is already low in cals. From there I make a choice between whether I am going to have wine with my meal or have a dessert, but not both- in one fell swoop I can take 400-500 cals off my meal. It does take will power to watch the rest of the table have dessert when you aren't but that is usually where a cup of tea or coffee can give you something to sip! The same strategy works if you are going fast food which sometimes is inevitable, I usually have a hamburger but then bypass the fries

As for exercise it makes it so much easier to do it if you actually enjoy it! If you like dancing try zumba! If you like music get into an aerobics class. Do you have a dog that would love to be walked or an old bike in your shed that you used to ride? Try everything and anything that counts as exercise until you find something you actually like! In my early days of exercise I used to go for a walk everyday after work but I hated it, I just felt so bored so I started calling my friends while I was walking. I used to march down the road on my handsfree kit blabbering away to a friend and the time flew by!

Good luck :happy:

Brandicaloriecountess

I decided before I started that I had to be WILLING to pass up foods that I really loved. Sweets especially, chocolate, candy baked goods, that was my weakness. I hate when people say "you have to want it" I WANTED it every previous attempt, and I still failed.

It may sound dumb but in the beginning I decided that I had to "break up" with food. It was a relationship that brought me comfort but was REALLY bad for me. I never, ever have had will power or self control when it came to food before, and now I do. I remember my first week, I walked to the store and my roommate asked me to get her some candy, I walked right down the candy isle and didn't even consider buying anything for myself.

Now, 6 months in, I have relaxed a little. I will have a small piece of cake at a party occasionally, or some other indulgence from time to time. I have also found replacements for things so that I really don't miss it. I know for a lot of people they don't like "anything in moderation" but for me it works. It was the occasional piece of birthday cake at a party that got me fat, it was eating that stuff ALL the time.

As someone above said, look up everything before you eat it. Sometimes I have thought about eating something, but decided NOT to simply because it has wayyyyy to many calories.

GOOD LUCK

whotze

Totally agree, this site has given me the motivtion to lose a few pounds. It's like a game...if you are competitive and want to win the calorie counter becomes the referee of a "good day".

xraychick77

i just do..simple as that

do or do not...

ninerbuff

Simply put i have trouble with control. I want to eat certain foods when my husband takes me out. I have no willpower when it comes to this. I've been trying to do better, eat smaller protions bring some home type thing, but when it comes time to order, i want what stuck in my mind not the healthy item.

When i eat at home its no junk limited pasta some rice and very little meat (tuna mostly) so i feel like i could eat the world of bad stuff when it so freely offers itself to me!!!
Don't get me wrong i don't eat out alot when i do its fast food which is horrid too, but restaurants are like my bane!!
I have very little will to workout too!! But i want to lose weight!!!

So again how do you control yourself???

Save calories by splitting entree with your husband. Same with dessert. Try not to eat fried.

coastiewife906

Since I added the app to my phone I think twice every time I want to put something in my mouth! Try baby steps, little change at a time. Easier to handle and less over whelming!! Plus those small changes become habit and if you add up all the small good habits over time you get a healthy lifestyle! Good luck!

Umeboshi

I think this is a difficult thing to deal with for all of us. In the end you just have to tell yourself that there will be plenty of opportunities to have that food later on, but right now you can't afford the calories if you want to reach your goals. That food will be around another day when you have the wiggle room for it.
I know I can't cut out bad things entirely without feeling too deprived, so when I DO decide to let myself have them I do it in a smart way so it screws me up as little as possible. If you REALLY want something 'naughty' have it but a small amount, then make most of your meal something healthy. When I go out I will allow myself to share a 'bad' appetizer and then have a healthier entree. If you want an unhealthy entree, order a half-size portion and make the rest of your meal (and day) as healthy as possible.
And I agree that looking things up before putting them in your mouth does WONDERS for your self control!! Once you see that the entree you've got your eye on is really over half of your daily calories you start to think twice whether you really want it. Same for sodas - do I REALLY want my tummy to be rumbling because I used the calories for my snack on a soda?
Also, try not to be too hard on yourself when you slip up. Just try to learn from your mistakes and pay attention to what factors led to that loss of self-control, so you can realize what will set you off next time and change it.... That will get you farther than belittling yourself and feeling guilty.

HisBeloved65

I know for me I had to decide what I wanted more...the food or the change. I am choosing change over and over. Doesn't mean I don't treat myself, it just means that food is not/can not be my focal point. My health is a good to myself but my husband as well. I have realized I have no less of an enjoyable time if I say no to the things that aren't good or the best for me.

So I guess I would ask myself, what do you want more? food or change?

Christina269

I'm going through the same thing... I'm a food addict to the core. Here's the thing - people say you can't deny yourself or you'll binge. That's great when you don't have disordered thinking. For me, it's like a drunk going into a bar. I do FANTASTIC when I'm in my home or in a controlled environment. But as soon as I'm some place where it's acceptable to eat an unhealthy meal or if I'm in a group of others eating like crazy - I can't control myself. I'm a drunk on a binge.
For me, I have to get my mind changed first. I need to stay with in my own boundaries and set my own limits that others may think is ridiculous - but I know myself., One slip up and then every day will be slip ups. For example, we went out to dinner with friends on Thursday night. The restaurant we were going to had healthy options. So, I made a calorie budget and picked an item from the menu ahead of time. Our plans had to change at the last minute and I ended up having no time to plan and the 4 year old in my brain threw a fit and I ended up choosing VERY poorly but the addict in me justified it in my mind as we were eating. And then the regret came in after we got home. And shame... And thoughts like, "See? you can't even go out to eat ONCE and make a good decision, why even try to lose weight??"

So for now, I'm the only person making my meals until that addict in me calms down. I have to change my relationship with food and really learn to eat to live not live to eat.

This is just my personal situation - not everyone is like me - most people when trying to lose weight can give in a bit every now and then. I do better with structure and control.

cedarhurst2006

I check out the menu of the restaurant online first and go for healthy. I now even order the healthy version from the Chinese restaurant (steamed) and am pretty used to it. You can always eat an apple or a few grapes before going out to dinner to deter you from going for the bread or munchies at the table before the meal comes. That way you have something in your tummy and not starving when you are looking at the menu. Eating out is the hardest thing for me but when you look at the plate sizes and portions compared to what you eat at home, it should be a huge reality check.

tiffwhit16

I have the same problem. But, I have noticed that two things have helped me to change that. The first thing is that I have the myfittnesspal app on my phone now. So, I make sure I check calories before we even get to the resteraunt and have something in mind. (I've also started telling the waiter not to bring the bread to our table. If it's not there then I can't mindlessly eat it.) The second thing is we have started being more active. We've added bicycling and walking to our daily routine. I try to fit in some kind of activity everyday that I can add to the exercise of myfitnesspal. That way I really don't want to mess up the hard work I put into exercising.

I also thought about something else the other day at Carrabas. I ordered my favorite, Pollo Rosa Maria. Comes with soup, side and the chicken, plus the bread they bring to the table. I was filled up on bread and soup by the time they brought the meal and I hardly touched the side. I've decided that next time I will order a cup of soup and the chicken ala carte. (And tell them to keep the bread of course!!) That way, you can still have your favorite as long as you don't have all the other stuff that comes with it that adds calories!!

Hope this helps...and good luck!!


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ambermichon

Until you allow yourself to realize how amazing actually losing the weight, fitting into smaller clothes and feeling more confident feels I dont know that you will actually ever exercise that will power and self control. For a long time I worked out hard and watched my cals during the week and then totally blew it on the weekend eating whatever I wanted. I stopped that 2 weeks ago and now only have what I want in one meal. The pounds started coming off quickly and I feel like a million bucks!!! When I am able to associate how I feel now to eating that brownie or pizza its just not worth it. 5 mins of something that tastes great compared to the longterm benefits of weightloss.....the food is NOT worth it!!!

cjsgrimlin

Thank you all for your advice!! I do appreciate it. I have learned this will be a problem for a while, especially when i don't know where we are going. My other thing is to get the app back on my phone (just had to order a new one because mine was broken) so that will be easier to control. I love eating healthy, but when face to face with pasta, i'm a sucker!!

So here is to self control, and will power, and to seeing size 6 again soon!!!(much more size 8 first!!)