Cake... Sort of OT though

pettmybunny

So... the just turned 14 year old is having his birthday on Halloween. Two weeks ago, I told him I needed to know what he wanted for his cake before he left for his Mom's this past weekend. Then, last week, his dad told him at least once, and I reminded him twice (the last time being Thursday night) that I needed to know what he wanted for his cake before he left on Friday. I even explained to him that I needed to know because I was going out of town, and that when I got back, I work on Thursday, am library mom at school Thursday afternoon, and later that afternoon, I have to take another son from fiddle club after school to viola practice, then to the orchestra concert. I will not have any time that day to do much, so I wanted to start early, so it would be done in time. I do have time on Friday to work on it, but any special fondant or gumpaste work (if he wanted it) would have to be done early. Oh, and I also have booked a Confirmation cake for this weekend as well, and as I am being paid for that one, it's important. So, there's all the reasons for wanting to know what he wanted early.

He came home from school on Friday, had a couple of hours, didn't bother to tell me what he wanted. When hubby and I were downstate, he called to wish the 14 year old happy birthday, and asked if he had remembered to hand out the invitations (which were printed off the week before by the way, and he kept forgetting to hand them out). He hadn't given them out still, this was just two days ago.

So, I still haven't heard from the 14 year old what he wants for his cake. DH called a while ago, and told me that birthday boy had looked at possible cake pictures TODAY when he got home from school, but he still hasn't told me anything. I'm getting more and more peeved (can you tell from the rant?), and I'm almost to the point of saying screw it, you're not getting a cake, because you were told how many times that I needed to know, and you didn't care. But on the other hand... it is his party. ARGH I hate self centered ignorant twits of teenagers!

Any advice? I can't decide whether to be the mean stepmother he always tells me I am, or to just make a cake. I mean he still hasn't told me what he wants. Do I wait? Or just ask him. I'm pissy right now, so I don't want to ask him.

pettmybunny

So... the just turned 14 year old is having his birthday on Halloween. Two weeks ago, I told him I needed to know what he wanted for his cake before he left for his Mom's this past weekend. Then, last week, his dad told him at least once, and I reminded him twice (the last time being Thursday night) that I needed to know what he wanted for his cake before he left on Friday. I even explained to him that I needed to know because I was going out of town, and that when I got back, I work on Thursday, am library mom at school Thursday afternoon, and later that afternoon, I have to take another son from fiddle club after school to viola practice, then to the orchestra concert. I will not have any time that day to do much, so I wanted to start early, so it would be done in time. I do have time on Friday to work on it, but any special fondant or gumpaste work (if he wanted it) would have to be done early. Oh, and I also have booked a Confirmation cake for this weekend as well, and as I am being paid for that one, it's important. So, there's all the reasons for wanting to know what he wanted early.

He came home from school on Friday, had a couple of hours, didn't bother to tell me what he wanted. When hubby and I were downstate, he called to wish the 14 year old happy birthday, and asked if he had remembered to hand out the invitations (which were printed off the week before by the way, and he kept forgetting to hand them out). He hadn't given them out still, this was just two days ago.

So, I still haven't heard from the 14 year old what he wants for his cake. DH called a while ago, and told me that birthday boy had looked at possible cake pictures TODAY when he got home from school, but he still hasn't told me anything. I'm getting more and more peeved (can you tell from the rant?), and I'm almost to the point of saying screw it, you're not getting a cake, because you were told how many times that I needed to know, and you didn't care. But on the other hand... it is his party. ARGH I hate self centered ignorant twits of teenagers!

Any advice? I can't decide whether to be the mean stepmother he always tells me I am, or to just make a cake. I mean he still hasn't told me what he wants. Do I wait? Or just ask him. I'm pissy right now, so I don't want to ask him.

seegirlrun

IMHO, let your *husband* be mean. Have a home made cake and let him invite a couple of friend over for cake and ice cream.

I'm a stepmom, too, so "been there done that." Dad can deliver the news for you both.

One year my son, 14 at the time, blew me off for Mother's Day. No card, nothing. His 15th birthday rolled around. Guess what he got? Nothing. He has never forgetten a Mother's Day, Father's Day or a birthday since. He usually uses his own money and buys a card and a small, very thoughtful gift.

Some lessons need to be learned the hard way.

pettmybunny

That's just it, I make the cakes. I make them just how the kids want... I did a Mario Pirhanna (sp?) Plant cake for the youngest, a Star Wars General Kenobi cake for the 11 year old, and a Reborn
Graphic Novel cake for the oldest. All I know is that the 14 year old wants something Redwings. No flavor, no picture idea, no figure ideas... Does he think I pull these cakes out of my a**? I spend anywhere from 8 to 24 working on these cakes, everything is done by hand. As far as I know, the invites got handed out, although right now I'd be happy if they hadn't... lol Our big threat is to buy a cake from a store or to get a box mix cake...

seegirlrun

Betty Crocker is Awesome! Chocolate cake with chocolate icing and trick candles.

Your cakes are gifts when you enjoy making them for the recipient and the recipient enjoys receiving them. Does that fit here? Discuss it with your hub... he may have a better suggestion but no matter what decision you make, this is an opportunity to teach a valuable lesson however you choose to do it. Being a door mat isn't the answer, being pass-aggressive or pouting isn't the answer. Deciding on how to handle it and then doing so in a no-nonsence, matter-of-fact manner is the answer.

But I *know* I don't have to tell you this. You know the right way to handle it, it's just easier to "rant."

So rant and then go do the right thing.

snelfk

Personally, I would go with the store bought, generic birthday cake. If the 14 yr old doesn't care enough to be involved, I wouldn't waste your time and energy on a special cake... This indeed may a lesson he needs to learn the hard way - and I don't think it has anything at all to do with being the step mom

3babybeans

He gets a plain sheet cake, duncan hines icing & a plastic "happy birthday" stick in the middle...with 13 candles. Brat.

3babybeans

BTW - I looked at your pics & your cakes ROCK! I only wish I could be that talented in the cake department!

dothompson

I know it's frustrating, but he's 14, that's what they do.

He's at an awkward age. He hasn't forgotten to pass out the invitations, he's afraid that the other kids will think his party's lame. He hasn't picked a cake because he doesn't know what his friends would think is cool.

Just make the decision about the cake yourself and surprise him. Follow his lead about inviting friends over. Maybe he just wants to go to the movies with one buddy.

He's 14, it's his party let him be a jerk if he wants to. He'll grow up and all will be well with the world.

Phoenix_Rising

I know it's frustrating, but he's 14, that's what they do.

He's at an awkward age. He hasn't forgotten to pass out the invitations, he's afraid that the other kids will think his party's lame. He hasn't picked a cake because he doesn't know what his friends would think is cool.

Just make the decision about the cake yourself and surprise him. Follow his lead about inviting friends over. Maybe he just wants to go to the movies with one buddy.

He's 14, it's his party let him be a jerk if he wants to. He'll grow up and all will be well with the world.

Great advice.
I was gonna go with buy a store bought crap cake.
His advice is MUCH better!

songbyrdsweet

Well he already told you what he wanted: Red Wings. So white frosting, red winged wheel. I don't think he's expecting anything more than that.

He's a 14 year old boy, not Martha Stewart. If you can't think of something off the top of your head as a cake-maker, how in the world is he going to think up something as a pubescent male? I'm 21 and I still can't bake worth crap, so if you were baking a cake for me, I wouldn't be any more help than he is! :laugh:

I totally agree with dothompson...he's still kind of a kid and kind of not. He is just trying to look cool so he can feel good about himself when others feel good about him.

pettmybunny

It's not that I expect him to be Martha Stewart... It's that I want him, if he only wants a picture on it, to get me the picture that he wants. If you look up red wings under images, there's 10 million of them. And he liked the idea of the octopus sitting on top, when my husband mentioned that two weeks ago. I gear the cakes to what they want, not what I want. If I talk to someone who wants to order a paid cake from me, even if they have no idea what they want, they can at least tell me a flavor. And then we spend half an hour to an hour going through and talking about things they like and don't like. You'd be surprised what people who say they don't know and to do whatever actually come up with when they have a little direction.

Off the top of my head, I would do a hockey rink, with the red wings logo in the middle, with the octopus sitting on it, holding a hockey puck above his head... So, yes, I do have ideas...

I haven't done anything about inviting his friends over. That was him and his dad making the invitations on the computer. After they were made, it's up to him to hand them out. Gone are the days of inviting the whole class.... I figure if he hasn't handed them out, and nobody shows, it won't matter if there isn't a cake...

songbyrdsweet

Well if I were him, I wouldn't really be worried about leaving the design up to you. Your cakes look really awesome, you're like a female Ace of Cakes! He probably thinks you'll come up with something really cool (which you did LOL).

Maybe he has just verbally invited people? I can't remember my 14th birthday, but on my 13th b-day I just passed the word around and a lot of people showed up. In retrospect, fewer people would've actually been more fun. Perhaps he has decided not to invite so many people...the social lives of 14 year olds are what soap-operas are based on. :laugh:

keiko

Your cakes are beautiful! If I would have seen them before I would have asked you to do my DD's grad party. It was in Ishpeming. That is where my family is.
Kelly

dothompson

Okay, so what happened? I hope it all ended up well and he had a nice party.

arewethereyet

I hope it works out......it took 10 years for me to like my 14 year old!!:laugh:

Nonibug

Im dying to know what happened, too

pettmybunny

So.... he still hadn't even told me anything the afternoon of his party when he got off the bus. Even though I'm pissy about it (still--3 days later :grumble: ), I knew I'd feel bad if I didn't do something. I've been wanting to try making chocolate lava cake in the crock pot, so I experimented and tried it. It was ok, not my favorite thing in the world.

By the way, I still haven't heard a thank you from him for it. Probably part of the reason I'm still pissy....
-Robin