No more fat kid roller coaster diet (pic heavy)
SecretlyBatwoman
Posts: 79 Member
Hi, my name's Lucy, and I'm an attention *kitten*! I also can't sleep tonight so... forgive me in advance for my ego.
For the past ten years I've ridden the fat-kid roller coaster. I'm up to 190, I'm down to 160, I'm up to 200, I'm down to 170, etc etc. I did nothing the right way. When I wanted to fit into a dress for an event, I starved for a few weeks. When the event was over, I ate like a pig and hated myself for it. I knew it was stupid, but it was fast and easy. I hit a high in 2009/2010 that was disturbing to me. Few photos survive, none I will ever share with the world as I also had a horrible bleach blonde hairDON'T and a bad fake tan. I started another crash diet in anticipation of being maid of honor in my good friend's wedding and got down to about 185 by this date last year. Yes, my hands were there to hide my double chin:
Crap happened. Crash diets aren't sustainable. Back up the fat kid hill, full speed ahead!:
Until I hit a new disturbing high on NYE. Those bangs were another bad decision:
I was at LEAST 220. Conservatively. After two weeks of yet another not eating crash diet from hell, I finally bought a scale again and it said 219. Valentine's day photo (a romantic night with the love of my life, Lola the Bassoon) at about 200 even:
My friend told me to get MFP in the end of february after hearing me whine and complain about how I couldn't eat anything good anymore. A month and a half later and 20 more lbs gone:
I joined a marching band in April and lost another 10lbs almost immediately. When I first saw this first pic from this era, all I could say was "OH MY GOD I HAVE COLLAR BONES!" These are from May and June:
I bought this shirt for my 18th birthday party. It never fit. I couldn't part with it. Last week, I gave it another go:
4th of July, wearing a size small (mens) uniform for band. I was a large/very snug medium when I joined!:
Today I'm 154 lbs and I don't starve myself. I have never, in my adult life, been under 160. I don't plan on going back anytime soon because, well, MFP makes it too darn easy. I'm not hungry and miserable all the time and constantly thinking of what I can eat when I go "off the diet". I realized I CAN, in fact, eat in moderation and that crazy perfectionist all or nothing musician brain doesn't need to take over; that if I eat too much one day there's always tomorrow; that exercise is important and need not be boring; That healthy food can be tasty food; and that how I feel is more important than how the scale tells me to feel.
Sorry again to whoever had to sit through this long, unnecessary post.
For the past ten years I've ridden the fat-kid roller coaster. I'm up to 190, I'm down to 160, I'm up to 200, I'm down to 170, etc etc. I did nothing the right way. When I wanted to fit into a dress for an event, I starved for a few weeks. When the event was over, I ate like a pig and hated myself for it. I knew it was stupid, but it was fast and easy. I hit a high in 2009/2010 that was disturbing to me. Few photos survive, none I will ever share with the world as I also had a horrible bleach blonde hairDON'T and a bad fake tan. I started another crash diet in anticipation of being maid of honor in my good friend's wedding and got down to about 185 by this date last year. Yes, my hands were there to hide my double chin:
Crap happened. Crash diets aren't sustainable. Back up the fat kid hill, full speed ahead!:
Until I hit a new disturbing high on NYE. Those bangs were another bad decision:
I was at LEAST 220. Conservatively. After two weeks of yet another not eating crash diet from hell, I finally bought a scale again and it said 219. Valentine's day photo (a romantic night with the love of my life, Lola the Bassoon) at about 200 even:
My friend told me to get MFP in the end of february after hearing me whine and complain about how I couldn't eat anything good anymore. A month and a half later and 20 more lbs gone:
I joined a marching band in April and lost another 10lbs almost immediately. When I first saw this first pic from this era, all I could say was "OH MY GOD I HAVE COLLAR BONES!" These are from May and June:
I bought this shirt for my 18th birthday party. It never fit. I couldn't part with it. Last week, I gave it another go:
4th of July, wearing a size small (mens) uniform for band. I was a large/very snug medium when I joined!:
Today I'm 154 lbs and I don't starve myself. I have never, in my adult life, been under 160. I don't plan on going back anytime soon because, well, MFP makes it too darn easy. I'm not hungry and miserable all the time and constantly thinking of what I can eat when I go "off the diet". I realized I CAN, in fact, eat in moderation and that crazy perfectionist all or nothing musician brain doesn't need to take over; that if I eat too much one day there's always tomorrow; that exercise is important and need not be boring; That healthy food can be tasty food; and that how I feel is more important than how the scale tells me to feel.
Sorry again to whoever had to sit through this long, unnecessary post.
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Replies
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You are very inspiring. Great job! You look amazing.0
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You look fantastic girl!! You should include your profile pic as your last picture!! Congrats on all of your hard work... it sure has paid off!!0
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Great job!! Can't help but be proud of you and your accomplishment (:0
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Great job! Thanks for documenting the journey.0
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that's amazing!! I hope I make that much progress ^_^0
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Unnecessary?! That was great! I thoroughly enjoyed reading your story and seeing your pictures. It's comforting that a lot of us here share a lot of the same feelings, high or low. Congratulations! You look great!!!0
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Great story! I wish my collar bones appeared at that weight! How tall are you?
I friended you because I love the way you write and I look forward to seeing you reach your goal. Well done!0 -
I'm a attention *kitten* too!!! You did awesome and is doing awesome, add me!0
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Great story! I wish my collar bones appeared at that weight! How tall are you?
I friended you because I love the way you write and I look forward to seeing you reach your goal. Well done!
Funny you should ask...When I finally decided to get my driver's license two years ago (at age 23) they put me down as 5'3". I just went to the Dr's and found out I'm actually 5'5"! I keep telling people I lost 66 lbs of fat and found two inches of height.0 -
It was a great post and you are amazing and an inspiration....and you look GREAT!!!!!0
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I loved reading your post!! I feel your story closely resembles mine, although I haven't reached my goal yet.
Anyway, congrats!! You look beautiful!0 -
You go girl! What an inspiring story! Thanks for sharing!0
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From a fellow attention *kitten* ) You look amazing!!0
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Great story! I wish my collar bones appeared at that weight! How tall are you?
I friended you because I love the way you write and I look forward to seeing you reach your goal. Well done!
Funny you should ask...When I finally decided to get my driver's license two years ago (at age 23) they put me down as 5'3". I just went to the Dr's and found out I'm actually 5'5"! I keep telling people I lost 66 lbs of fat and found two inches of height.
How bizarre!
We're the same height but my collar bones appear at about 125 lb! We must be totally different builds!0 -
You've done fantastically...you should be feeling extremely proud! :flowerforyou:0
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well done!!0
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You look amazing! And you have such a great way with words, I loved reading your story. Truly an inspiration!0
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CONGRATS!!!! You are doing so great! You look terrific and deserve the attention Keep up the great work...you should be very proud of yourself!!0
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Congratulations!! You look fantastic! And I love the way you write...so witty and engaging. I also have to say a special "YAY!!!" for the hooping pic too because I'm a total hooping addict.0
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awesome post! you have a fabulous sense of humor!! total congrats on making your way AND being smart about it. i could totally relate to your story -- as i have been on the roller coaster for most of my life too! this year though, totally different! you're a real inspiration, and you look amazing!0
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great job!!! you are my shero!! I can do this0
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I found your post really interesting, sometimes I skim read posts if they're really long but yours was fun to read! HUGE well done, stick at it, stay here on MFP, and be hugely proud of yourself (you really remind me of someone famous but I can't think who!)0
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omg you look amazing great job!!!! total inspiration! I hope I'm that successful0
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Thanks for posting! You've been an inspiration!0
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Congrats from a fellow bassoon player!0
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You look amazing great job!!0
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You look great! way to go!0
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Absolutely not unnecessary at all! Great post! You've done a fantastic job!0
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You look great! Good work!0
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proud of you!!!! you look super!!0
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