I wanted to be sure first...
tifanietiberio
Posts: 76 Member
Hi, everyone!
I have been using Myfitnesspal.com (aka the Miracle Worker) for about 6 weeks now. I didn't want to share my story until I was sure I was really ready to commit to losing weight.
I was hesitant to come onto the boards and introduce myself because I have a history of giving up when I am required to actually work hard or anything. We could delve into all kinds of psychology, but basically, I learned at a young age for most things in life, if I put in minimal effort, I still had the ability to have above average results. That wonderful gift did not ever translate to dieting and exercise. I have been "dieting" since I was 11yrs old. I actually wasn't over weight at that time. But it was the 80s and diet food and work out tapes were very big and my grandma was VERY into it. I remember doing Jane Fonda tapes and drinking crystal lite the summer before 6th grade. By the time I was 14, Dexatrim pills were a standard item hidden in backpack or under my bed.
So, to keep it brief- I had a really unhealthy relationship with food and my body. Throw in a step father who weighed me daily so that he could call me a "fat *kitten*" when I was about 5'5' and weighed 150lbs (oh if only that were the case today!) and you can understand why I am so messed up about this stuff and why I basically eat to deal with pain. And of course, when some people get caught up in a major depressive disorder, they lose weight.... not me. Not at all.
Fast forward about 15yrs- went to an amazing university, seem to do well in my career, terrible with romantic relationships but I think my intense lack of self-worth and tendency to be attracted to "broken" men is the root of that issue.
I was laid off from my job about a year ago- I gave my life to this position. 80hr weeks, thankless board members, terrible pay/benefits...etc. (Obviously I was at a nonprofit org) Right at that time, my boyfriend of two years (who I knew from the beginning was just not going to be a healthy situation anyway) listed the hundreds of reasons I would never be "marriage material" and left.
Needless to say, I spent my days eating, crying, watching tv and eating some more. I had never, ever been thin- but I had never been to the point where I was no longer able to fit into "normal" sized clothing. That was really tough for me. But I just hated myself. And I was dealing with major depression. And no health insurance to deal with it.
The past year has been just awful. I withdrew from my friends, I constantly wished I was dead, I didn't take my dog for walks- It was really awful. I stopped applying for new jobs because it's not like I could even fit into my suits anyway and who would hire me looking the way I did. I know none of those things are excuses but at the time, that was the way I thought.
In January, I joined a gym. I even made a valiant effort to go and do cardio 3-4 times a week. But, I thought that since I was working out, I was entitled to eat even more junk food! So that didn't really help me at all.
So, after about a year of misery and self doubt and feeling completely inept. I had gained about 40lbs (when before that, on my best day, I still should've been at least 30lbs lighter) and was busting out of my size 16 pants. My unemployment payments were getting down to the last few months left and I felt helpless.
I am not sure what happened or what changed, but after I spent Memorial Day weekend at my friend's pool drinking beer and eating hot dogs like it was going out of style, I just had it. I couldn't deal with it anymore.
I had been lying to myself that I didn't look as disgusting as I did. That photos of me where my face definitely contained multiple chins was just due to bad lighting or the angle. But I had to face the truth.
In the couple of months prior, I had paid off my car, so that freed up a little money so I could go to the doctor and I decided it was probably going to be in my best interest to go back on my ADHD meds and some antidepressants. I don't even want to say the weight because it is so embarrassing to me. But it was A LOT. More than I could have ever imagined it could be.
That embarrassment, coupled with the fact I was sick of the way I looked and felt, made me want to do something. Even if it was just 15lbs- I needed to do SOMETHING so I could feel like I wasn't this fat, useless slob.
I had worked for about six weeks when I first got out of college and was looking for a "grown up" job at LA Weightloss and I still had the books, so I decided to do that. But there are a lot of flaws with that plan, which more painfully obvious without their "bars".
After doing that for about a week, and losing a couple of pounds (about 6), I was looking for some kind of calorie counting app on my phone, since I know for me carrying around an actual notebook, would not work after a few weeks. I found Myfitnesspal- the app had great reviews. I downloaded it and took it for a test run. I put in so many different foods to see if the database would actually have them- and it did. I mean, even my grocery store brand foods. I was amazed. I knew LA Weightloss was about 1200-1400 calories so right then and there, I decided to use the basics that I knew from there (low cal/low fat, high protein, low carbs, low sodium, lots of veggies) and just completely commit to myfitnesspal. That was on June 15 (ish).
It is July 17th. I went to my doctor for a follow-up to our June 2 appt on Thursday, July 14. I am down 31lbs. My doctor was praising me (it has been a long time since I have been praised for ANYTHING) and was just amazed. I was amazed and balling obviously. And he was even more excited when I told him that I start my new job on July 18 (tomorrow). A job in my field (marketing) at a for-profit company that is a very big, well-respected firm, making more money than I ever have.
Did my meds help me? Absolutely. But before anyone says that the meds are curbing my appetite and that's the only reason, it isn't. At first, the meds did make me slightly less hungry for about a week. But I have been on these meds before and I had dropped a bunch of weight right away because I wasn't eating all day and then when I did eat, it was junk food. I gained it all back right away. So I am have been very set on not falling into that pattern again, and doing this the correct way. The ADHD meds, in particular, have helped me with my impulse control- which is a huge issue for me. Because in the past, I rarely ate because I was hungry- I ate because I wanted to. And I had no ability to tell myself no.
I am so proud of myself. I have always lacked discipline and willpower of any kind. And for me to do this, I just never would have thought it possible. Even two months ago, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be fat and unemployed forever.
I am sorry for the insanely LONG post- I hadn't planned on it, but it just came out that way. I mostly wanted to share my story so other people who are maybe in similar situations, or have been, feel like they deserve to be happy too. And even when you feel like you will never achieve any success or happiness, the slightest bit of believing in yourself can really go a long way.
I am clearly not through losing weight-- for the first time ever, I feel like I can set goals and actually achieve them. I want to lose about 30 more to achieve my initial goal- and honestly, I want to keep going after that. Losing 80lbs total would make me a totally different person and in a healthy weight range- but I would like to try for an even 100lbs over all. I am a little nervous with starting a new job, but I work in the city and I have already strategized things I can pack for lunch and restaurants close to my office that have healthy options for me.
So I just wanted to say hi and wish you all the best of luck. I know what you are going through, and I know it is so important to hear that other people know exactly how you feel!
I have been using Myfitnesspal.com (aka the Miracle Worker) for about 6 weeks now. I didn't want to share my story until I was sure I was really ready to commit to losing weight.
I was hesitant to come onto the boards and introduce myself because I have a history of giving up when I am required to actually work hard or anything. We could delve into all kinds of psychology, but basically, I learned at a young age for most things in life, if I put in minimal effort, I still had the ability to have above average results. That wonderful gift did not ever translate to dieting and exercise. I have been "dieting" since I was 11yrs old. I actually wasn't over weight at that time. But it was the 80s and diet food and work out tapes were very big and my grandma was VERY into it. I remember doing Jane Fonda tapes and drinking crystal lite the summer before 6th grade. By the time I was 14, Dexatrim pills were a standard item hidden in backpack or under my bed.
So, to keep it brief- I had a really unhealthy relationship with food and my body. Throw in a step father who weighed me daily so that he could call me a "fat *kitten*" when I was about 5'5' and weighed 150lbs (oh if only that were the case today!) and you can understand why I am so messed up about this stuff and why I basically eat to deal with pain. And of course, when some people get caught up in a major depressive disorder, they lose weight.... not me. Not at all.
Fast forward about 15yrs- went to an amazing university, seem to do well in my career, terrible with romantic relationships but I think my intense lack of self-worth and tendency to be attracted to "broken" men is the root of that issue.
I was laid off from my job about a year ago- I gave my life to this position. 80hr weeks, thankless board members, terrible pay/benefits...etc. (Obviously I was at a nonprofit org) Right at that time, my boyfriend of two years (who I knew from the beginning was just not going to be a healthy situation anyway) listed the hundreds of reasons I would never be "marriage material" and left.
Needless to say, I spent my days eating, crying, watching tv and eating some more. I had never, ever been thin- but I had never been to the point where I was no longer able to fit into "normal" sized clothing. That was really tough for me. But I just hated myself. And I was dealing with major depression. And no health insurance to deal with it.
The past year has been just awful. I withdrew from my friends, I constantly wished I was dead, I didn't take my dog for walks- It was really awful. I stopped applying for new jobs because it's not like I could even fit into my suits anyway and who would hire me looking the way I did. I know none of those things are excuses but at the time, that was the way I thought.
In January, I joined a gym. I even made a valiant effort to go and do cardio 3-4 times a week. But, I thought that since I was working out, I was entitled to eat even more junk food! So that didn't really help me at all.
So, after about a year of misery and self doubt and feeling completely inept. I had gained about 40lbs (when before that, on my best day, I still should've been at least 30lbs lighter) and was busting out of my size 16 pants. My unemployment payments were getting down to the last few months left and I felt helpless.
I am not sure what happened or what changed, but after I spent Memorial Day weekend at my friend's pool drinking beer and eating hot dogs like it was going out of style, I just had it. I couldn't deal with it anymore.
I had been lying to myself that I didn't look as disgusting as I did. That photos of me where my face definitely contained multiple chins was just due to bad lighting or the angle. But I had to face the truth.
In the couple of months prior, I had paid off my car, so that freed up a little money so I could go to the doctor and I decided it was probably going to be in my best interest to go back on my ADHD meds and some antidepressants. I don't even want to say the weight because it is so embarrassing to me. But it was A LOT. More than I could have ever imagined it could be.
That embarrassment, coupled with the fact I was sick of the way I looked and felt, made me want to do something. Even if it was just 15lbs- I needed to do SOMETHING so I could feel like I wasn't this fat, useless slob.
I had worked for about six weeks when I first got out of college and was looking for a "grown up" job at LA Weightloss and I still had the books, so I decided to do that. But there are a lot of flaws with that plan, which more painfully obvious without their "bars".
After doing that for about a week, and losing a couple of pounds (about 6), I was looking for some kind of calorie counting app on my phone, since I know for me carrying around an actual notebook, would not work after a few weeks. I found Myfitnesspal- the app had great reviews. I downloaded it and took it for a test run. I put in so many different foods to see if the database would actually have them- and it did. I mean, even my grocery store brand foods. I was amazed. I knew LA Weightloss was about 1200-1400 calories so right then and there, I decided to use the basics that I knew from there (low cal/low fat, high protein, low carbs, low sodium, lots of veggies) and just completely commit to myfitnesspal. That was on June 15 (ish).
It is July 17th. I went to my doctor for a follow-up to our June 2 appt on Thursday, July 14. I am down 31lbs. My doctor was praising me (it has been a long time since I have been praised for ANYTHING) and was just amazed. I was amazed and balling obviously. And he was even more excited when I told him that I start my new job on July 18 (tomorrow). A job in my field (marketing) at a for-profit company that is a very big, well-respected firm, making more money than I ever have.
Did my meds help me? Absolutely. But before anyone says that the meds are curbing my appetite and that's the only reason, it isn't. At first, the meds did make me slightly less hungry for about a week. But I have been on these meds before and I had dropped a bunch of weight right away because I wasn't eating all day and then when I did eat, it was junk food. I gained it all back right away. So I am have been very set on not falling into that pattern again, and doing this the correct way. The ADHD meds, in particular, have helped me with my impulse control- which is a huge issue for me. Because in the past, I rarely ate because I was hungry- I ate because I wanted to. And I had no ability to tell myself no.
I am so proud of myself. I have always lacked discipline and willpower of any kind. And for me to do this, I just never would have thought it possible. Even two months ago, I had resigned myself to the fact that I would be fat and unemployed forever.
I am sorry for the insanely LONG post- I hadn't planned on it, but it just came out that way. I mostly wanted to share my story so other people who are maybe in similar situations, or have been, feel like they deserve to be happy too. And even when you feel like you will never achieve any success or happiness, the slightest bit of believing in yourself can really go a long way.
I am clearly not through losing weight-- for the first time ever, I feel like I can set goals and actually achieve them. I want to lose about 30 more to achieve my initial goal- and honestly, I want to keep going after that. Losing 80lbs total would make me a totally different person and in a healthy weight range- but I would like to try for an even 100lbs over all. I am a little nervous with starting a new job, but I work in the city and I have already strategized things I can pack for lunch and restaurants close to my office that have healthy options for me.
So I just wanted to say hi and wish you all the best of luck. I know what you are going through, and I know it is so important to hear that other people know exactly how you feel!
0
Replies
-
That's fantastic sweetie! I'm so proud of you! You must be so excited to start your new job, especially feeling more comfortable and confident because of your weight loss. Feel free to friend me! I was never into the online 'friends' thing, but having a group of people to cheer me on, offer advice, and listen to me complain has been really amazing. It helps to keep me on track in more ways that I ever thought it might.
Congrats on your success so far and on committing to continuing the journey! :happy:0 -
You are doing amazing! Everyone has a few issues to deal with concerning overeating; depression, abuse, comfort...it doesn't matter what got someone to a certain weight. What does matter is educating oneself about how to handle the food issues. Do I wish that chocolate would find a new BBF? Of course!! But I know chocolate isn't as strong as I am and it is up to me to steer the right direction for my health. Check in often for support from everyone! That is what keeps me going; knowing that so many others are traveling the same path that I am and that it can be done. Congrats on the new job and also for changing your life!! Yay!!0
-
Thanks for posting your story. I think that there are a lot of people out there, including myself, that eat to comfort oneself for one reason or another. Losing 30lbs is a great accomplishment and you should be proud of yourself. I wish you luck on your journey to a healthier you.0
-
Thanks for the kind words everyone! It is definitely a one day at a time process- but now that I have eliminated the fast food and really started paying attention, I really don't even miss what I was eating before. Portion control and actually measuring food is the biggest thing for me- I was probably eating 3-4k calories a day prior to this. And god bless Skinny Cow candy and ice cream. It has made some tough times, a lot easier!0
-
What an amazing post. You are a beautiful woman indeed. So happy you found MFP and shared your amazing story. Congratulations on your new life style and career. You will find awesome friends here who can support you on your journey.0
-
Your post brings such hope to me. Not only a transformation of the body and way of life, but a profound transformation of the mind. I hope it stays with you and leads you to your success. You're a great writer, please post again and tell us how you're doing!
0 -
well done for sharing your story. cant have been easy but so many of us have troubles and horrific times in our lives but tend to bottle it all up. you have done exceptionally well so far and you will continue to. just wanted to say well done and keep up the good work. all the best for tomorrow for the first day in your new job! you will be great, just be confident in you abilities and remember to breathe! you will be fine.
kelly
xxx0 -
Wow!!!. Thanks for sharing your story. U are amazing!!! Congrats0
-
Welcome!
We're all here to provide assistance and support. Just let me know how I can be of personal assistance.
Hank0 -
Thank you for sharing. I have the same thing. I would work out, then give up. But finally after looking in the mirror the other day and then looking at my son, I realized I needed to be healthy not just for my self esteem but for my son too! Back in 2007 is when I started gaining weight. Got pregnant but lost the baby, which is when I slipped into depression and started eating my sorrows away. Well now after having my son, I realize I don't want to be that person EVER again! Your story has inspired me even more, thank you. I wish you luck in this journey and if you want you can add me! Good luck again!0
-
Wow...thanks for sharing your life and your strength! I'm glad I stumbled across it.
0 -
I just wanted to update this-
down 40lbs since june 2.
here is the before and after so far.
beforeafter by tifanietiberio, on Flickr0 -
Wow look at that before and after! Such a difference; bet you feel loads better too!
Well done
0 -
Thank you for introducing yourself, and sharing your story. I am sure a lot of people can relate to your story - I know I can relate to parts of it. Congrats on the weight loss you have already acheived! It is very evident in your pictures.0
-
Good work - enjoy your journey! You can do it!0
-
thanks for sharing your story. You're doing great, and I'm happy things are looking more positive for you. Take care of yourself and know that you can do it!0
-
that is amazing! thank you so much for sharing this. as a fellow depression-eater, i REALLY took this to heart. thanks! and AWESOME job so far!0
-
you spoke from your heart, thank you for sharing. Lots of stories similiar to yours, we all have this in common.........Good luck , prove em wrong, esp your step father. I m wishing you the best..........Lloyd0
-
Thanks so much for sharing. I feel like I have a lot in common with you. 0
-
welcome aboard:) we're all here for you!!! just take it one day at a time. u could do this0
-
Wow thank u for sharing this. I was vout in tears. This def got me motivated. Btw u look great! U are doing a good job!0
-
wow what an amazing and brave post, it made me cry to feel that much pain in one person but you have proved to yourself that you are made of strong stuff and have pulled yourself back ,you have every right to be proud of yourself and I am so sure your story will enspire others to push themselfs harder. Well done to you and congratulation on your new job but most of all the new life you are making for yourself. Good luck in everything you do and the now photo is beautiful.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:0
-
you are truly an inspiration! I have had a rough 6 years myself and was letting myself eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted because I just had no self control and really didn't care about life. I've only been using MFP for about a week and already I'm losing weight and eating better...thank you for sharing your story. I feel VERY inspired to keep going! I hope things continue to go well for you and keep up the GREAT work! 0
-
Wow, my dear. You are amazing...and a survivor! One thing I read on MFP was that you can have excuses or you can have results. You can't have both. You're starting to shed the weight of your past failures & moving on! You're on your way! I can hardly wait to see what life has in store for you with your new 'tude! Good luck. God bless you! xo
Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Counter0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 430 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions