Cookout Manners

sufikitkat

In general, I have cut red meat out of my diet in the last year. But of course, with the summer here I have ate some hamburgers at cookouts. Here is the kicker though...each time I have I have felt really sick! So my question is this...if I prefer to eat a veggie burger or turkey burger, is it rude to bring my own to a cookout o be cooked for myself?

cheri0627

It depends on who the cookout is with. There are some people who might be offended, but in general, I don't think it's bad at all.

RissaDean

I agree with Cheri - you just need to check with the host/hostess. Another option might be to ask the host/hostess if there will be grilled chicken as an option, or even offer to bring some chicken to grill. I think you'll get less of that, "Oooh, you're on a diet, aren't you?" comments if you do chicken as opposed to veggie/turkey burgers.

Good luck!

fridayjustleft04

When your body is used to not eating meat and you eat it, you'll get sick. I've been a vegetarian for 7 and a half years. I think it depends on who is hosting the cookout. I don't bring my own veggie patties; I just make a burger with all the veggies and no patty. It's still good. Or you can mention to the host prior to the event that you don't eat red meat and ask if they'll have turkey or veggie burgers. If not, ask if you can bring them. A lot of people ask if they can bring food to a gathering; just make sure you bring enough for more than yourself.

swinginchandra

When your body is used to not eating meat and you eat it, you'll get sick. I've been a vegetarian for 7 and a half years. I think it depends on who is hosting the cookout. I don't bring my own veggie patties; I just make a burger with all the veggies and no patty. It's still good. Or you can mention to the host prior to the event that you don't eat red meat and ask if they'll have turkey or veggie burgers. If not, ask if you can bring them. A lot of people ask if they can bring food to a gathering; just make sure you bring enough for more than yourself.

I think this here is the kicker. I've never been to a cookout/BBQ where it's rude to contribute food (with permission, of course). These things usually are somewhat potluckish anyway. But it definitely, IME, works best to do it like your bringing a dish to contribute. Whether it be a salad, or veggies, or turkey dogs/ burgers, whatever. Just bring enough to share, and you're golden.

Hodar

From my own experience, a lot of Vegans push their beliefs off on others. To a person who simply wants to enjoy a burger or hot dog, this is offensive, rude and uncalled for. Especially if the host set up and prepared the event. Been there, done that. It's offensive.

However, when a guest does exactly as you have done, saying that meat upsets their stomach and inquires as to bringing or eating an alternative (as opposed to demanding that everyone else change), there is nothing wrong. No offense given, no guilt trips, no demands that everyone else modify their meal.

Just explain and ask, as a guest should ask of their host. Asking is good, demanding is bad. Just basic manners. No Host (friend or person of merit) will intentionally make his guest sick

Kalrez

I've been back on the vegetarian train since around Feb of this year. I've eaten meat once since then, and it was because of a situation like you describe. My boyfriend and I were going to one of his coworker's houses for a cookout. I have never met this coworker but my boyfriend spoke very highly of him. While I did enjoy the sides, I still ate a rib. Why? Because that was what his coworker is "famous" for. I could have said no, but I was a guest in his home, eating food that he had been up all night preparing.

I was raised that when you're a guest, you eat what is prepared for you. To refuse or make a big deal about things would be considered rude (aside from asserting food allergies). I don't consider myself a guest at ANY family event, so I will either skip dishes or I will bring myself something to eat. My boyfriend's parents are big meat-n-taters people. They don't really get the whole "vegetarian" thing. So instead of making them try to figure out what to feed me, I just bring my own Morningstar patties and put them on the grill when everyone else's burgers are being cooked. I do the same with dinners with good friends. I'll normally just eat the meatless sides, but if it's convenient, I'll bring myself something else to eat if I need/want to.

njean888

Well another option may be to just eat the bread, veggies, and cheese. You could always eat before you arrive as well. Personally, I would not be offended if you brought your own veggie burgers or whatever. I had a vegetarian friend who would bring her veggie burgers and one of those aluminium pans so that her burgers never came in contact with our food but I did'nt care. Seriously, to each is own.

sunkisses

I'd make some awesome black bean burgers or yamburgers and bring enough for other people and act like I was just providing a "vegetarian" dish or something.

RedheadHen

I agree with most here ... ask the host. I mean, I don't mind if someone has a dietary concern when they come to my house. You want to bring veggies burgers ... go ahead! I mean honestly ... I don't know anyone who would say to you NO if you tell them that red meat does not agree with you. I'm sure most folks that know you will be just fine with that. Now, if you are going someplace you are unsure about ... then try to politely avoid the red meat and dig in to the non-meat items.

sufikitkat

Thanks for the input. I am not a vegetarian, I just really don't have an easy time with saturated fats, which is what red meat is full of. I love my fish, turkey, and chicken and just really like veggies so veggie burgers are appealing. I am allergic to pineapples and dairy, which I have gotten slack about asking questions for those things and they are flat out allergies NOT an intolerance, a full out allergic reaction. Last year I brought turkey burgers to my boyfriend's friend's family party, but only after I asked and most of the people there told me they think they are disgusting so they would never eat it themselves. Overall, I am being seen by a specialist finally and the thought is gallbladder, which of course would explain why red meats really bother me like crazy. So I guess on top of the food allergies, I always feel like a pain in the *kitten*. I still question everything I get served whether it is at a wedding or just a bbq because you never know and 80% of the time, I was right in questioning because the plate did contain a food allergy. It's good to see that I am not alone in this problem though and to keep hearing feedback!