Questions for those who have overcome and moved on

cparter

Have you ever felt or acted a little vain after losing your weight?

Do you look at others when you get to your ideal weight with sarcasm and discuss (like ex-smokers do to current smokers)?

Just curious after seeing the hot body groups, etc... Want to know what you are thinking/doing now that you have achieved the seemingly unachievable.

gatorgirl7

i have more confidence since i've lost weight--but as far as how i see others, i usually feel sad for them if they are overweight. i remember what it's like and it wasn't fun! sometimes, i want to stop and say something to them, words of encouragement, but i don't. it's not my place...anyone who's been there knows what it's like and i remember when ppl would look at me or treat me and i try not to do that to others. hope this helps!

cparter

Don't be shy. I know some of you have some stories to tell or thoughts that have crossed your minds. It does not make you evil but it opens your eyes and remind you that you were there once. You may not have needed additional support or you may have (thus MFP) but you have a story to tell.

Mateo1985

For now I feel like I don't want to be there when there is a lot of people who have a lot of weight to lose and do nothing about it. I mean yes it's hard to lose weight but it's doable. So when I see people who make up excuses for not doing anything about it I feel like it's BS. Mostly because I was the same way. I was thinking like I'm just meant to be fat my whole life and that was it. But I did turn it around and lost weight.

Also, I have huge amounts of respect for everyone here trying to achieve their goals!!! Keep it up people!!!!

cparter

i have more confidence since i've lost weight--but as far as how i see others, i usually feel sad for them if they are overweight. i remember what it's like and it wasn't fun! sometimes, i want to stop and say something to them, words of encouragement, but i don't. it's not my place...anyone who's been there knows what it's like and i remember when ppl would look at me or treat me and i try not to do that to others. hope this helps!

Excellent response. I know how hard it is to not reach out but it is difficult because you also have to consider the feelings of others. It is tough situation and when you care like we do it makes it tough to just walk away.

cparter

For now I feel like I don't want to be there when there is a lot of people who have a lot of weight to lose and do nothing about it. I mean yes it's hard to lose weight but it's doable. So when I see people who make up excuses for not doing anything about it I feel like it's BS. Mostly because I was the same way. I was thinking like I'm just meant to be fat my whole life and that was it. But I did turn it around and lost weight.

Also, I have huge amounts of respect for everyone here trying to achieve their goals!!! Keep it up people!!!!

Thanks for your invite. It is valuable.

thetrishwarp

I feel more sad and judgemental towards overweight children, honestly. When I see obese parents sitting with obese children feeding them crap, it makes me very upset, because at such a young age they don't understand what is good and not good to put in their mouths. I find it completely barbaric that parents are allowed to devastate their children's lives/health in that way. Maybe it's because I was an overweight kid (always allowed to have whatever I wanted at Tim Hortons, McD's, etc with no portion control) - but I suppose the way I see it is that adults have the ability to make a conscious choice and effort about their weight. Children are still learning from example, and are essentially victims to the lifestyles of their parents.

Sad sad sad.

PS: When I do see overweight people around, often I do wonder "are you on MFP yet?"

rileamoyer

Hmmm. I am proud of my accomplishment, and am vain enough to want to wear awesome clothes and show off some (especially for DH). I am always willing to share how I accomplished this change (giving some credit to MFP and the pals I made here). I am encouraging some folks who show interest in trying to do what I did. However, I try not to judge the overweight, I know how I got there and how difficult it is to change. I also have friends and relatives with medical conditions that contribute to their problems. So-regarding obesity, I thank God I had the strength to overcome and pray I will continue to remain healthy and fit. I am an ex-smoker. Quit a 3 pack a day habit cold turkey 30+ years ago-before they had medical aids to help. Smoking is different. it is a nasty habit, taken on by choice and then continued with a terrible additction. I encourage everyone to quit, and do not allow smoking in my house or car. However it is a ***** to quit and I feel sad seeing young folks smoking. But- I do have ashtrays for the front and back porch whenever smokers visit.

cparter

I feel more sad and judgemental towards overweight children, honestly. When I see obese parents sitting with obese children feeding them crap, it makes me very upset, because at such a young age they don't understand what is good and not good to put in their mouths. I find it completely barbaric that parents are allowed to devastate their children's lives/health in that way. Maybe it's because I was an overweight kid (always allowed to have whatever I wanted at Tim Hortons, McD's, etc with no portion control) - but I suppose the way I see it is that adults have the ability to make a conscious choice and effort about their weight. Children are still learning from example, and are essentially victims to the lifestyles of their parents.

Sad sad sad.

PS: When I do see overweight people around, often I do wonder "are you on MFP yet?"

I totally agree. Education is the key but you can lead those parents to the well but it is up to them to get beyond the greed and see the need.

kayleeblue

I feel more sad and judgemental towards overweight children, honestly. When I see obese parents sitting with obese children feeding them crap, it makes me very upset, because at such a young age they don't understand what is good and not good to put in their mouths. I find it completely barbaric that parents are allowed to devastate their children's lives/health in that way. Maybe it's because I was an overweight kid (always allowed to have whatever I wanted at Tim Hortons, McD's, etc with no portion control) - but I suppose the way I see it is that adults have the ability to make a conscious choice and effort about their weight. Children are still learning from example, and are essentially victims to the lifestyles of their parents.

Sad sad sad.

PS: When I do see overweight people around, often I do wonder "are you on MFP yet?"

My Son and I were at a gas station a few weeks ago and a mother came out of the station saying super loud "Who Loves her Kids?" "Who loves her Kids?" She was carring 2 32 oz slushies...the kids were under 6 years old! My son and I looked at each other and said...NOT YOU LADY! I want to go ask her if she had a good dental plan for one, and then ask her if she wanted her kids to grow up and look like me! But I just bit my tongue and we left. And now that I have lost 25 pounds...I do feel a little vain..sexy at times..Oh I have a long way to go but these feelings....they keep me wanting it more. Good Luck and add me if you would like.

cparter

Hmmm. I am proud of my accomplishment, and am vain enough to want to wear awesome clothes and show off some (especially for DH). I am always willing to share how I accomplished this change (giving some credit to MFP and the pals I made here). I am encouraging some folks who show interest in trying to do what I did. However, I try not to judge the overweight, I know how I got there and how difficult it is to change. I also have friends and relatives with medical conditions that contribute to their problems. So-regarding obesity, I thank God I had the strength to overcome and pray I will continue to remain healthy and fit. I am an ex-smoker. Quit a 3 pack a day habit cold turkey 30+ years ago-before they had medical aids to help. Smoking is different. it is a nasty habit, taken on by choice and then continued with a terrible additction. I encourage everyone to quit, and do not allow smoking in my house or car. However it is a ***** to quit and I feel sad seeing young folks smoking. But- I do have ashtrays for the front and back porch whenever smokers visit.

Thanks and you have a heart of gold.

cparter

I feel more sad and judgemental towards overweight children, honestly. When I see obese parents sitting with obese children feeding them crap, it makes me very upset, because at such a young age they don't understand what is good and not good to put in their mouths. I find it completely barbaric that parents are allowed to devastate their children's lives/health in that way. Maybe it's because I was an overweight kid (always allowed to have whatever I wanted at Tim Hortons, McD's, etc with no portion control) - but I suppose the way I see it is that adults have the ability to make a conscious choice and effort about their weight. Children are still learning from example, and are essentially victims to the lifestyles of their parents.

Sad sad sad.

PS: When I do see overweight people around, often I do wonder "are you on MFP yet?"

My Son and I were at a gas station a few weeks ago and a mother came out of the station saying super loud "Who Loves her Kids?" "Who loves her Kids?" She was carring 2 32 oz slushies...the kids were under 6 years old! My son and I looked at each other and said...NOT YOU LADY! I want to go ask her if she had a good dental plan for one, and then ask her if she wanted her kids to grow up and look like me! But I just bit my tongue and we left. And now that I have lost 25 pounds...I do feel a little vain..sexy at times..Oh I have a long way to go but these feelings....they keep me wanting it more. Good Luck and add me if you would like.

Seems like you have taught your son the value of good choices. Keep on inspiring others.

bmw4deb

At times when I see someone very overweight I can easily read what others
can't, I can see the unease and apprehension in there eyes and feel the
fear they have of judgement from others , even when all others see is the
fat jolly happy go lucky person.

I have and always will be this person on the inside, I'm proud of what I have accomplished
so far but will never forget the pain of where I have been.

cparter

At times when I see someone very overweight I can easily read what others
can't, I can see the unease and apprehension in there eyes and feel the
fear they have of judgement from others , even when all others see is the
fat jolly happy go lucky person.

I have and always will be this person on the inside, I'm proud of what I have accomplished
so far but will never forget the pain of where I have been.

So true and I do not forgot the foolish words that were often sent my way. For example: When is our chest going to catch up with your gut, etc... People have the best of intentions but insults do to equal results...

michalita

Well, not totally judgmental, but I know that I am probably the laziest, undisciplined person alive, and I managed to lose 25 pounds relatively easily, so I don't buy many excuses from those who say they "can't" do it. ;-)

cparter

Well, not totally judgmental, but I know that I am probably the laziest, undisciplined person alive, and I managed to lose 25 pounds relatively easily, so I don't buy many excuses from those who say they "can't" do it. ;-)

Thanks for that and it is so true. We make things harder than they have to be. Number one is getting off that couch and moving something. And secondly, got off the fat addiction and realize what nutrition is.

nehushtan

I started vain at 270 lbs and continue to be vain at 190

I was also judgmental before and still am after, I simply included myself in the judgments that I made of anyone else. In fact I would say one of the main reasons I lost what weight I have is because I didn't want to end up like others around me (especially older men)... and I could easily see myself following in their footsteps.

I do find that I notice other people's overweight-ness more often than I did before... like the way you notice other Hyundai cars on the road after you've bought one yourself...

Qarol

I'm struggling a little bit with this. Last summer, I was at my highest weight. My good friend had just lost about 25 pounds and was feeling great. I was trying to be supportive, but I never wanted to go out. She got all upset that I wasn't making time for her, etc. We almost lost the friendship because she was annoying me so much to go out, saying I wasn't fun anymore because I wasn't drinking or going out to eat. I was seriously trying to lose the weight. And doing what I could to avoid temptation. Now I've lost almost 35 pounds, and in that time, she's gained back the 25 she lost plus another 5. Now she's where I was. But I'm hoping it'll be different. When I suggest going out, I suggest getting a pedicure and a cup of coffee. I'm hoping this helps her not feel isolated even though she's feeling really depressed about gaining the weight back.

juleseybaby

Children are still learning from example, and are essentially victims to the lifestyles of their parents.

I have yet to overcome - but I was reading through the replies and this statement really hit me hard. Don't get me wrong - I love my parents! They are definitely not the only reason I am the size that I am - but they did play a big role. I was raised in such a way that you cleaned your plate - period. If you made a face at something or said 'yuck' - you got a second helping of it and had to finish it all. I was taught to cook... country fried steak, home fries, onion burgers. I don't recall ever having much turkey or fish -unless it was fried catfish. BBQ chicken was probably the healthiest we got. Anyway - not all their fault - they learned that behavior from somewhere too.

It has been a struggle to let go of those habits and try to not repeat the error with my kiddos. But I WILL overcome and move on!!

cparter

I started vain at 270 lbs and continue to be vain at 190

I was also judgmental before and still am after, I simply included myself in the judgments that I made of anyone else. In fact I would say one of the main reasons I lost what weight I have is because I didn't want to end up like others around me (especially older men)... and I could easily see myself following in their footsteps.

I do find that I notice other people's overweight-ness more often than I did before... like the way you notice other Hyundai cars on the road after you've bought one yourself...

Well said and I can relate to the Hyundai thought. You seem to pay attention more when you have something in common or have traveled a similar path.

cparter

I'm struggling a little bit with this. Last summer, I was at my highest weight. My good friend had just lost about 25 pounds and was feeling great. I was trying to be supportive, but I never wanted to go out. She got all upset that I wasn't making time for her, etc. We almost lost the friendship because she was annoying me so much to go out, saying I wasn't fun anymore because I wasn't drinking or going out to eat. I was seriously trying to lose the weight. And doing what I could to avoid temptation. Now I've lost almost 35 pounds, and in that time, she's gained back the 25 she lost plus another 5. Now she's where I was. But I'm hoping it'll be different. When I suggest going out, I suggest getting a pedicure and a cup of coffee. I'm hoping this helps her not feel isolated even though she's feeling really depressed about gaining the weight back.

you have a kind heart and your idea of going out after you lost the weight is a lot healthier than hers. Keep supporting her. She returned to the poison while you refused to be trapped by what got you there in the first place. Good on ya.

cparter

Children are still learning from example, and are essentially victims to the lifestyles of their parents.

I have yet to overcome - but I was reading through the replies and this statement really hit me hard. Don't get me wrong - I love my parents! They are definitely not the only reason I am the size that I am - but they did play a big role. I was raised in such a way that you cleaned your plate - period. If you made a face at something or said 'yuck' - you got a second helping of it and had to finish it all. I was taught to cook... country fried steak, home fries, onion burgers. I don't recall ever having much turkey or fish -unless it was fried catfish. BBQ chicken was probably the healthiest we got. Anyway - not all their fault - they learned that behavior from somewhere too.

It has been a struggle to let go of those habits and try to not repeat the error with my kiddos. But I WILL overcome and move on!!

Thank you for your testimony.

myofibril

Have you ever felt or acted a little vain after losing your weight?

Yes

Do you look at others when you get to your ideal weight with sarcasm and discuss (like ex-smokers do to current smokers)?

No, because the way someone looks has no correlation to the content of their character, the goodness in their hearts, what kind of person they are etc. I don't view overweight / obese people negatively.

If anything I am glad I was overweight when I was younger. It made me more compassionate I think and more willing to look beyond physical appearances as I understood, in the final analysis, they are meaningless.

JennLifts

Not at all. I LOVE seeing others working towards their goals, and I do anything i can to help them achieve them. THat's what people did when I was in their shoes, and I needed it.

suzycreamcheese

im no more or no less judgemental than i was ever at any weight ive ever been at.

cparter

Have you ever felt or acted a little vain after losing your weight?

Yes

Do you look at others when you get to your ideal weight with sarcasm and discuss (like ex-smokers do to current smokers)?

No, because the way someone looks has no correlation to the content of their character, the goodness in their hearts, what kind of person they are etc. I don't view overweight / obese people negatively.

If anything I am glad I was overweight when I was younger. It made me more compassionate I think and more willing to look beyond physical appearances as I understood, in the final analysis, they are meaningless.

Great response. You have a kind and open heart.

cparter

Not at all. I LOVE seeing others working towards their goals, and I do anything i can to help them achieve them. THat's what people did when I was in their shoes, and I needed it.

You have responded with the key to it all and what MFP is all about. We must help one another.