Going through Changes

turntechBiologist

Hi, I'm not sure if this is really the place to discuss this sort of matter. But I just need to get it out and could use as much support as possible.

I just learned a few days ago that my parents are separating (I'm only 22 and I live with them), because their marriage isn't working out so well I suppose. At first I was angry with my dad because he was talking stupid-like since he was drinking that day, and said he was getting rid of my dog and my mom's dog too. Thankfully that hasn't happened, but that's not the point.

Because of what is going on between these two has me overwhelmed with many emotions, especially since I have been dealing with this sort of thing since I was in high school. They wanted to split then, but I guess I managed to get them to stay together only for a few years longer because I couldn't bear the thought of my parents separating.

I can't stop them now, and it's making me very upset. I am not taking care of myself as much as I was when I started eating better at the start of this year. I've gone back up to 333lbs over the course of a couple of months since we could never buy any food I needed. And even before my parents splitting they had their problems that lead me to gain back weight too.

And just today my dad was asking me when my mom was moving out? I tried my hardest to put up a brave front and managed to succeed, but inside I was dying and have been feeling sick to my stomach as well as in pain in my collarbone area.

I mean, I just lost my best friend/my son in May, so that's another factor to my weight gain too. He was only 5 years old and he ended up choking on a rawhide chip because he had the tendency to not chew it up thoroughly, but he had always managed to get it unstuck from his throat.

And I'm always against this sort of thing, but I ended up getting so overwhelmed by his death that I almost committed suicide so I could join him. I'm just glad I didn't do that and talked to a good friend of mine instead. She lightly chewed me out about the whole ordeal but I couldn't help feeling the way I did. And sadly I do still feel like that to this day, and my parents splitting up is not really helping.

I could easily tell them about my situation, but it's unlikely that they'll listen and think I want attention. I just want them to be happy, and I want to be a little happier myself.

Again, sorry if I posted this in the wrong area. I just needed to get this all out because I have nobody to talk to right now because they're not answering the phone...

Jennloella

sounds like you might need to find a therapist to help you sort through it all. What your parents do is really out of your control and you will kill yourself worrying about things you can't control. And, i was confused by the son remark....are we talking about a pet? Because if we are, I'm worried about your strong reaction.....I get that you feel as if you're losing a lot right now.....I hope you can find the motivation to reach out for some support from a professional......

sclangley

I am very new to the message boards so I am not really sure what would be seen as a proper or acceptable response but I feel that you need to speak to a counselor. Any one of the above mentioned issues is plenty to deal with on their own but with all of them combined you have your work cur out for you JUST to get thru the day. Because you have attempted suicide and you feel yourself falling back into the same emotional patterns, I feel strongly that you need help (not attention).

KatieJoDunlap

I also thnk that you may need to see a therapist about your feelings. You seem very overwhelmed. I am worried that you may be letting to many things pile up on you.
I think that it is not your fathers place to ask you about your mother. I would politely metion that to him the next time he puts you in the middle of their living arangement. This is just making things harder on you.
I would also like to remind you that no matter how lonley or upset are tomorrow is ALWAYS a new day.

Thriceshy

I have to agree with the others--not only are you under a great amount of stress with your health and the problems between your parents, but you've also considered suicide because of the death of a pet, which you seem to have confused with a child. Please seek guidance and counseling--while the death of a pet is sad, the level of grief you're experiencing is not normal or healthy, and I'm very, very concerned.

Have you tried to approach your parents about how you're feeling and the struggles you're experiencing? I understand that, sometimes, couples get so wrapped up in themselves and their own issues that they're oblivious to what's going on with their children. And I know how much that can hurt.

I looked at your profile pic--you're a lovely young woman. Please seek out a counselor and start helping yourself. You're smart, lovely, and have a whole lot to give and a whole life to live.

Good luck, and please keep us posted!

Kris

turntechBiologist

Thank you everyone, I honestly do appreciate your advice and concerns. But I am happy to announce that my parents are going to work things out now. So I feel a bit silly having written this topic earlier. I just couldn't help but feel the way I did, especially since my friend had not picked up the phone because she was sleeping

I know it's not healthy to think of a pet as a child, but I can't help but feel that way. I raised him since he was a tiny puppy and it's just been very hard on me to lose him so suddenly. I'm not good at letting go of those I love. It look me 6 years just to let go of the puppies we lost in a house fire in 2004. And I'm still grieving over losing my only grandpa in 2008

I'll try to seek counseling as soon as I can. Can't see a shrink because I have no insurance at all...