Want to lose weight but fearful of failure

hoodrich_20

In the last 5 years I have gained around 130 lbs and I am completely unhappy with myself. My friends are giving me all the clothes that are too big for them and it is eating me up inside. I have told myself many many times that I am going to follow through with a diet or at least eating healthier but I never do. I realistically cannot afford what most people would consider "health" foods and I sit at a desk for eight hours a day. I have thought about making smaller meals for me and like baking chicken and stuff but the problem with that is my children will not eat it and I cannot afford to make two different meals. I am basically disqusted with myself and if I do not change something soon I may just let myself go completely. I really have little support in this and am worried that I will not succeed at my goal. I have high expectations of myself and a major fear of failure and that is causing me to secon-guess myself even as I type right now. I want to do something different...I NEED to do something different. I am hoping that this site will help me to keep myself accountable and help me to keep track of what I am doing to my body on a daily basis.

fastbelly

If you don't try you will surely fail. So what do you really have to lose? (other then inches and lbs that is!)

I will give you a "rule" to start living your life by:

Let the first thing you do in your day, every day, be to take time for yourself. Take 1 hour every day for yourself and start getting more active, start slowly and build your way up. If you can't spare an hour spare 30 minutes at least. You're worth it. I started walking regularly about 3 months ago and increased the intensity regularly. Recently I've started the C25K program and today I did 11K mixing slow jogging and walking. If I can do it, anyone can.

In regards to nutrition, you don't need to spend loads to eat healthy. I only eat fresh vegetables because I can but you can buy the frozen vegetables that last longer and cost less and save loads of money. Next time you cook some chicken and the kids want chips, do oven chips instead of fried for them and you have some mixed vegetables with the chicken instead of chips. If the kids are old enough you can probably also talk them into joining you and explain them the advantages of living a healthy lifestyle.

I believe that weight loss is not about dieting, you cannot deprive yourself and live at a reasonable deficit of calories for a long period of time if you don't take it as a lifestyle choice.

So, get more active, take the stairs instead of the lift if possible, walk to the supermarket instead of driving, etc.

Look for healthy and low fat alternatives

If you drink loads of sodas, reduce or if you can stop it all together. Replace it with water.

Drink minimum 7-8 8oz glasses of water a day

Keep logging on to MFP, the community here is great and you'll find loads of info here.

bluefever

It really starts with baby steps. Change a few things slowly. Add more water throughout the day, walk around the block on your lunch break or just start your day with a healthy breakfast.

I have two kids, I know how frustrating meal time can be, but really, kids won't starve. Don't give them the option. "This is dinner, take it or leave it". I have found healthy ways of preparing some kid friendly meals, like homeade chicken fingers, yam fries, quesadillas etc...

Just get moving. Walk more with your kids, dance around the living room, check out some utube Videos for some at home exercise ideas.

Goodluck to you.

emmaleigh47

I agree with what fastbelly said ... if you dont try you know FOR SURE what the result is.

I advise just living as the thinner, healthier you that you want to become. Small changes will give you big results... its not about starving yourself or drastically changing your diet ..... its about making small changes!

You can do this ... this is not a diet ... its a lifestyle. Just start living as the active you that you want to become... its that simple!

Swimgoddess

Better than fearing success...

True_angel4ever

I have always wanted to lose weight too, but could never get myself motivated enough to do it. I would start a "diet plan" for a few weeks, then give up. I have been on this site for a little over a month, and i can honestly say i am sooo glad that i came across it. This site gives you so much motivation to keep going! This is definately a rough road to take, but YOU CAN DO IT! You can do whatever you set your mind to. It takes alot of talking myself outta things i really want, but in the long run, it is paying off for me. You have come to the right place, we are ALL in this together!! If ya need motivation and a cheering on, feel free to add me, i could sure use the motivation too. Good luck in your journey, and remember, You CAN do it!!!

sarahsmom1

If your kids don't like the food you will be cooking to bad for them your the mom aka the boss. Others are right they will not starve. If you do not have your health you can't take care of the kids. Remember IF MOM AIN"T HAPPY NO ONE IS GOING TO BE HAPPY. Heres to your health

angisnee

I started on MFP July 1 of last year, thinking there's no way this is going to work. But something clicked. I haven't reached my goal yet, but I'm 50 pounds lighter than this time last year.

I kept reading the success stories and started believing it was possible. I made little changes. I searched for quick, healthy recipes that my family would eat. (We also don't have a lot of money, but eating healthy on a budget is possible.) Little by little, my attitude towards food, exercise, and my body began to change for the better.

One really powerful quote I read in someone's signature helped me through the rough spots. (I wish I could remember who it was, because I want to thank them!) It went something like this, "This day (or week, month, year) is going to pass by no matter what I do. So I'm deciding to make it a great one!"

You sound very motivated to do what you need to do. Make the decision and go for it!!! If you need support and motivation, send me a friend request, and I'll try to help in any way I can. Good luck to you! :flowerforyou:

Airliner

You've taken the first (and most important!) steps by recognizing the need to change and signing up for MFP.

I just finished Day 50 since I signed up and have lost 22 lbs. It isn't magic; you have to be committed and do the right thing EVERY DAY if you are truly serious about losing weight. Just keep in mind the simple truth proven by this site ... reduce calories eaten and increase your physical activity. Works like a charm! Some tips:

- Get a portion scale and use it. This has been my best tool by far. You will be shocked to see how much you are overeating. You will learn to adjust your number of servings based on what you actually eat ... a big eye-opener!

- Be accountable to yourself! Don't go to bed at night unless you have logged everything you've eaten that day and recorded any exercise. DON'T CHEAT! If you eat 10 M&M's, record them!

- Go to MFP any time you feel you can't do this and read some success stories. You'll find truly great inspiration from other members who know what you are going through.

- If nothing else, spend some time walking every day. It's a pain at first, then you will find you enjoy it and finally, you will not want to complete your day without your exercise.

You will find yourself gradually moving toward healthier meals and smaller portions. But I can honestly say that I have rarely felt hungry. Some green pepper strips dipped in low-fat ranch dressing make a great snack that is filling and has very few calories! Look for little changes like that. I eat the veggies now instead of a bowl of ice cream.

Good luck and best wishes to you!

bagpipebecky03

That's why you're here hun! We are all on here to movivate eachother and give eachother that extra push! ! I agree with the first reply- if you don't try- then you surely will fail! I sent you a request!

aippolito1

You don't need "health" foods. Buy lean protein: boneless skinless chicken (tenderloins are cheapest I've found), frozen fish (tilapia, mahi mahi, cod, salmon), canned tuna & chicken, ground turkey, ground beef (make sure to get the highest number, 85/15, 90/10 - they're a little pricier but better for you), buy frozen vegetables (usually 90 cents per bag) - broccoli, peas, green beas, spinach, stir-fry, cauliflower, corn, okra, and some good carbs: sweet potatoes, multigrain or whole wheat pasta, whole oats for breakfast, whole wheat bread, rye bread... and healthy fats - natural peanut butter (as in, should not have sugar in it - try smart balance or the ground up kind you can find at kroger), olive oil, almonds, pistachios, walnuts, etc.

cortneymau

its understandable all the fear, anxiety and the daunting task of beginning to lose weight. literally, i only focus on what is going on right now to try to make the healthy decision. so if at dinner there is salad then i gladly eat salad or veggies. maybe then skip the bread or extra carbohydrates. you don't need the healthy food or organic stuff to lose weight (it is easier that way but far too expensive so i don't do it either!). i really just try to eat more veggies and less refined sugar. you know just pick one thing thats not healthy for you and try to resist it for a week. then it becomes easier!

with exercise, it could be true that you are getting more than you think. if you have kids you are probably doing a lot of lifting and cleaning (burns tons of calories!) just exercising 3 times a week has proven to jumpstart weightloss of at least a few pounds per year. take it easy on yourself. this is hard. seriously. do what you can. bring the healthy and exercise to you in your home where you can handle it the best way for your lifestyle. you can do it! start small and it will all fall into place.

TexasNana41

You can do it, but you have to start. I really find myself motivated by reading the success story board. Real people just like you and me; living normal real lives with all the stuff that comes with it. If they can do it, so can you. And so can I. I have only been on MFP for 3 weeks, but I find it really easy to use. I hope you find the success that you deserve. If you're looking for friends I'd be happy to cheer you on. Just send me a request.

bigislandgrrl

I sit at a desk all day, but manage to get a 60 minute work out every day.

"Health" foods may be a little more expensive if you are shopping at Whole Foods, but making better choices didnt cost me a dime extra. Ive replaced fattening pastas and calorie laden desserts with non processed meats, fruits, veggies, whole grain breads and lower fat dairy!

Instead of fat and calorie laden Granola with whole milk, I opt for lower calories cereals (cocoa puffs anyone?) and 2% Milk.

You have nothing to lose by eating better, along with your children. Think of how rewarding that could be for your entire family!
I havent changed much except Ive added some physical activity to my previously sedentry lifestyle, and watch my calories and processed foods!

MFP is the place to be if you really do want to succeed! (I luvs all my fellow MFPers!)

brandiuntz

By never giving up, you won't be a failure. Success comes from just doing it and sticking with it. Any weight you lose will be success.

Others have given you some great starting tips. You can do it.

pamela1129

It looks like you are taking a step in the right direction and that's what counts. Just keep moving in that direction and eventually you'll get where you're going. A few months ago I was winded walking to the mailbox--yesterday I did a zumba class! It CAN be done! You CAN do it!!!

califigureeight

How old are your kids? If they are able to give you their old clothes, I'm thinking they might be grown or at least old enough to make their own food.

CassandraD82

Don't be afraid to try!

I'll bet nobody will judge you as harshly as you will judge yourself. Regardless of how much or how little weight you lose the most important thing is to do your best and persevere. If you feel like this is your last chance to change your weight: take it! You can control your weight.

I don't have children but I have found that there are fairly cheap ways to switch to a healthy diet. Once you stop snacking on crackers/chips/cookies etc you'll be surprised how much you can cut down on your groceries.

Other ways to cut down on groceries are to rely on less and less processed food and switch back to basics. For fruit I go for cheapies like oranges and apples (although seasonal mandarins/pears are a good option). For vegetables I will almost always buy what is on special because it is in season.

Start small and once you've got some lunch and dinner basics memorised (hopefully ones your kids like too) you will find it easier and easier to get into a convenient routine - and one you know will be better for yourself and your family.

Oh and remember that weight loss is almost entirely nutrition (with some light walking thrown in to speed up results) so even if you don't get any exercise at work ... you can still succeed!

ps. Drink lots of water while you're at work

Dunkirk

You need to plan your eating and have the right food on hand so that you can make the right choice, even when you dont feel like it. You can eat healthily without spending a lot of money, make a plan and stick to it. Feel free to add me as a friend, if you like.

erinkeely4

Set small goals! Reaching these goals will help keep you excited/motivated. Don't look at setbacks as failure, but as motivation to start moving forward again.

Take walks. They are enjoyable, reduce stress, and are good exercise

Search the foods your kids will eat on the calorie counter, and focus on mainly sticking to the ones with lower calories, and allowing the other foods now and then. Eat fruits and veggies when possible!

Find a good marinade for chicken that is low calorie. Maybe better tasting chicken will get your kids into it!

aubrey7753

I agree with all those supportive post's but they all are missing one thing. You should not make two meals. If the food you are making is unhealthy for you then it is unhealthy for your children to. As a mother with weight issues I want my children to make healthy choices early on so they don't have to try so hard later. And even people that are thin on the out side can build fat around their organs especially the heart! So if not for your self make the decision to make healthy meals for your children. After a while they will learn to love it and thank you down the road I gaurentee it!

Givemewings

You can do it! You just need to make the decision. I don't think that eating healthily has to be more expensive if you are careful. It just means you have to make a little more effort making things yourself and giving up the naughty foods and drinks can actually make it cheaper.
As far as your children go, I have two boys and since I got healthier they have got healthier too. They occasionally moan about something they are eating, but as long as you stand your ground and let them know it will make them fitter too, they should be fine.
The other very important element for me has been exercise. If you burn those calories then you are able to eat more when you need to, as long as you try to make it a healthy option.
I hope I don't sound like I'm preaching. I have only been here 41 days but the change to my life is nothing short of amazing. I'm only part way to my goal, but already I feel fitter and happier about myself than I have in years.
Please give it a try...it's so worth it, honest!