Parents hate my weightloss.

vlwallace87

I've recently lost 40ish pounds over the past year and went from 190lbs to 147lbs. I'm only 5' 2" and still want to loose about 15 more pounds, but my parents say I've lost too much. Every time they see me they comment on how I'm going to "blow away" and why don't I eat more. They always try to force bad foods on me like sweets and fried foods. I'm not too thin and I want to be healthy! There is a history of many health problems related to weight in my family (diabetes, high blood pressure.....) and I don't want to run into that as I get older. What should I do?

Schwiggity

"you need to eat." Sounds like an Italian/Jewish/Southern family to me. Hell most cultures tend to have this mentality. Just tell them "thanks for the compliment" because I'd take it as one.

Jellyphant

That's kind of wrong.. parents are supposed to encourage and support your ways to get healthy! If they're not just messing you, something's up. If you haven't already, get them to spill the beans. Educate them on healthy weight for your height and remind them of the potential diseases that run in the family.

Jellyphant

That's kind of wrong.. parents are supposed to encourage and support your ways to get healthy! If they're not just messing you, something's up. If you haven't already, get them to spill the beans. Educate them on healthy weight for your height and remind them of the potential diseases that run in the family.

Seajolly

I see that you're 23. That is old enough to make your own decisions about your life. If you're doing it in a healthy way (getting enough calories, eating healthy foods, and exercising) then I see no reason why you shouldn't continue with your weight loss. Perhaps visiting a doctor and getting his/her approval to continue would set your parents' minds at ease?

Gary6030

Maybe your weight loss is making them feel bad about their current physical status?

vlwallace87

Yes, my family is Southern (lol) and they are overweight. My mother used to be around this weight when she was my age before she had me. Once she became pregnant she gained over 80lbs. She always mentions how she was so little and then gained all that weight when she was pregnant with me. Now she is in her mid 40s and over 300lbs (I have a younger sister in which she gained some weight with as well).

My dad is slightly overweight and mentions my weight loss every now and then. Last time he took my upper arm in his hand (his hand easily encircling my arm) and said "you've dwindled away on us". My mom likes to say "Hunny, I wish you would stop losing weight" EVERY TIME I SEE HER!

It makes me upset, and now I'm going to be moving back in with them because of my financial issues while I finish my nursing school. I know they are going to try and force food on me. I'm going to live at the gym LOL.

lil_pulp

It sounds like they might be scared of losing you (emotionally) because your lifestyle is becoming increasingly different from theirs and you have less in common with them than you used to. If you want to try to convince them (which may just be a waste of time), you can show them BMI charts that "prove" you're not underweight or have them talk to your doctor who will also assure them that you're healthy and that your goals are appropriate.

ket_the_jet

I see that you're 23. That is old enough to make your own decisions about your life.

This.
-wtk

yanicka

Tell them that your doctor recommend you lose 15 more pounds LOL. Who would argue with an order from the doctor:)

Good luck

MrsWibbly

I'm 41 and my parents still critisise everything. It's taken me a long time to realise but I have found that when they say something cannot or should not be done its usually just that they cannot do it! They judge me by their own standards and reflect their own failures on me.

Ask them directly why they think you have lost too much weight - what or who are they comparing you to?

Are they overweight? Maybe its just that in their minds they think their weight is ok and your weight lost is challenging that idea. If they are unconciously uncomfortable with your weight loss because this reflects their own concerns about themselves maybe thats something you could discuss with them.

vlwallace87

Are they overweight? Maybe its just that in their minds they think their weight is ok and your weight lost is challenging that idea. If they are unconciously uncomfortable with your weight loss because this reflects their own concerns about themselves maybe thats something you could discuss with them.

Yes, everyone in my family except a few cousins are overweight. My mother has many health problems from her weight and she has to see the doctor frequently about it.

JsGirl93

I come from "that" southern family. I know thatmy mother, although she is thin, equates love & reward as food. Lucky. For them my brother & sister were naturally thin (still are). Guess who won the fat lottery? Yep, me! So I'll get "You look so good, & are working so hard, you DESERVE a piece of cake.", at which point I say "Really Mama?!" Lol Had to learn to say NO THANKS. Good luck! Lol...

ErikaSwenson

Last time I visited my parents my Dad took me aside and let me know he thinks I shouldn't be trying to lose any weight. He calls 138 my "fighting" weight and thinks I'll be too thin if I keep losing (need to update my ticker but I'm at 136 right now and want to be at 130).

My recommendation (this is how I responded to Pops): Thanks for your concern Daddy (<---throwing that word "Daddy" in always helps :happy: ) but I am losing weight in a healthy way and once I reach my goal I will just maintain.

I also logged into MFP and showed him how everything works and how I am very careful about protein, iron, and calcium intake (I'm a pescatarian), as well as showing him my phone app for MFP.

That did the trick!

vlwallace87

My parents are pretty set in their ways. I hope they will eventually stop once they actually see me eating healthy and exercising, not purging and starving myself like they probably think. I'm gonna try to talk to them about it, but it hasn't done me any good so far. I might try doing the doctor's approval thing like many of you have suggested.

i just never thought they would react this way. I was hoping for more support from them.

Saruman_w

Yea, I would ignore them. Your weightloss is more than likely making them more self conscious about their own physique like someone else mentioned. As long as you're taking things the healthy route and not doing anything to hurt yourself just keep doing your own thing.

Justkeepswimmin

It sounds like they might be scared of losing you (emotionally) because your lifestyle is becoming increasingly different from theirs and you have less in common with them than you used to. If you want to try to convince them (which may just be a waste of time), you can show them BMI charts that "prove" you're not underweight or have them talk to your doctor who will also assure them that you're healthy and that your goals are appropriate.

I think in addition to education, this astute observation that they may be scared of 'losing you' or your lifestyle being so much different from them as a rejection of them, tryt o find some parts of their lifesetyle and culture that you do still embrace, and focus on those - draw attention to those, so they can understand you're still their 'little girl' just a bit more ... little now

Qarol

It's a shame they're like that and not more supportive. It could be jealousy. It could be fear of losing you. It could be lack of control. Some parents are like that. You just have to be that much stronger to not let it get to you.

PJilly

Be gentle with them. By and large, parents want to do what's best for their children. It may be hard for them to acknowledge that they contributed to or are in any way responsible for your weight being unhealthy, which could cause them to be in denial about how healthy it is for you to lose it. Try to find that happy balance of doing what's good for you but still understanding where your parents are coming from. They may not be right, but I'm sure they love you lots.