Need motivation

heatherlee33

Everyone....anyone, I need help. I joined and have lost faith in myself twice now. I'm 33 and I just feel helpless to change my life. I wake up everyday thinking I'm going to do it and go to sleep every night ashamed and vowing that tomorrow I will do it. I have no will power, I have no self esteem. I grew up the fat kid and even when I was skinny had no idea because I was so used to being the ugly dumpling. You see, I want this, I want it bad. I want to not hate myself, but somehow I comfort myself with the weapon that is going to kill me. I just don't know how to make this day the real thing, how to make this day the one, to be the person I want to be.

ShelbyLB

First of all, put A SMILE on your face girl!! What needs to happen, is you need to start treating yourself better...and stop 'beating yourself up' and feeling like a failure! Its so difficult to break old habbits, but it CAN be done...with motivation and determination!

You are SO worth it....you are beautiful and you deserve to reach your goals!! The key is to start being better to yourself!

mrdavidjk

i quit smoking after 25 years and i changed my diet and am exercising, 2 things i never thought i would do in a million years.
what this taught me is that if you put your mind to it you really can achieve your goals.
Don't think you cant do it know you can do it
don't get upset if you slip, after all i have slipped a few times and had excess food.

plan ahead for your meals and exercises (if you are going to do any).
you can do this dont beat your self up when you slip just vow to do better.

you are doing this to set a good example, and when you stop eating junk and processed sugar something amazing happens, regular food tastes really good

dragonbug300

Everyone....anyone, I need help. I joined and have lost faith in myself twice now. I'm 33 and I just feel helpless to change my life. I wake up everyday thinking I'm going to do it and go to sleep every night ashamed and vowing that tomorrow I will do it. I have no will power, I have no self esteem. I grew up the fat kid and even when I was skinny had no idea because I was so used to being the ugly dumpling. You see, I want this, I want it bad. I want to not hate myself, but somehow I comfort myself with the weapon that is going to kill me. I just don't know how to make this day the real thing, how to make this day the one, to be the person I want to be.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. No matter my intentions, I never seem to break my bad habits for more than half a day. Here are some things that I know would be helpful to me, and might apply to you as well:
1) Find a friend or family member to support you... a buddy who wants to change his/her lifestyle just like you do. You can hold each-other accountable and it'd just be loads more fun.

2) Tackle it one day at a time. Plan your meals ahead, maybe even make all your meals and snacks the night before. Then you don't even have to think about it... just grab and get on with your life.

3) It's never too late to exercise. Miss the gym? Walk around the neighborhood. Even go to the mall and walk laps around there. Do 100 crunches before bed. Do 20 pushups before even leaving the bedroom in the morning.
Exercise releases endorphines. Endorphines make you happy!

4) Set a challenge or a goal to reach. Start small... cut out foods with corn syrup or something like that and add in 10 more minutes of exercise. Then move on from that every week, or every few days.

It takes about 21 days to change habits entirely. If you can make a goal and stick to it for 21 days, you'll know you're in the clear. I'm still working on day 1, but each day I make a little progress in changing my perspective and forgiving my shortcomings.

SaraWojcik19

to the original poster - i just want to let you know that you are not alone. i am the same way you are. sadly, i have gained even more weight because, as my therapist says, i have no comfort from friends or family. i basicalyl do not communicate with my family because it makes my life even ahrder when they are in it. I have very few friends because I am a single mom and I work and go to school full time. Apparently, food is my comfort and now I am paying the price.

noexcuses1218

Heather, the fact that you're here and asking for help is huge. You can and will do this. Just take a day or two to step back and watch what's happening - to you, inside you, around you. That's a lot of what the food diary is about. What am I eating, why am I eating it, and what effect does it have on me?

Here are some questions you might consider asking yourself:

How faithful am I to logging my food, the good, the bad, and the ugly?

What's keeping me from opening my diary to the friends who love me and want to help?

How do I want to feel *right now* - emotionally, mentally, physically. Be specific. "Good" isn't going to cut it. Screw the scale, screw the mirror. Look away from how you think others perceive you. Look inward, and define the person you want to be and the behaviors you want to use. Just do that, step away from blaming yourself for all the things you think you're doing wrong.

What have I changed about my behavior - exercise, nutrition, whatever. How have these changes worked and how sustainable are they?

What gives me joy - or could give me joy, other than looking at the scale and seeing a decrease in weight.

What specific things do you need your family to do to help? Get rid of junk food for a week and not b!tch about it? Give you time to exercise? Be specific. Yes, you need their help. Yes, you deserve it.

No one - no one on this forum, no one in your family, no one on earth is going to convince you that you're beautiful and worthwhile unless you WANT to believe it. Open yourself up to that possibility, Heather. We all see you as beautiful and smart and determined, and if we could put our arms around you when you're sad or drag your *kitten* out of bed when it's time to walk, or have crazy experiments with weird food in the kitchen, we absolutely would.

What we can do is support you - rejoice with you at every little step you take - every second spent exercising instead of feeling sad, every time you tear your eyes away from the damn cookies and walk away.

Take a step back from your guilt. Just for a couple of days. It'll be there when you get back, I promise. And then tell us how it feels to be free of it, even for a few minutes.

Huge hugs. You can do this. You will.

lb7970

Looks like you have already have gotten lots of great advice. I have self esteem issues as well. First off we need to love ourselves not hate ourselves, easier said than done. Start off by telling that little voice in your head that says all these negative things about you to sit down and shut up. It'll never leave you but you can silence it. Ask people who know you well and that you look up to if they had one or two words to describe you what would they be. Write them down on post it notes and put them in your bedroom, bathroom all over the place. Another thing to that I do is I keep birthday cards from family and friends. Then I pull them out when I'm having a rough day to try to cheer myself up. I think that you are brave, determined and strong to post this and ask for the help you need.

Another thought is to try to find other ways to comfort yourself. How about a bubble bath? Treating yourself to a pedicure or manicure. If you can't afford it do them yourself. Do something for you that you like to do that doesn't involve food.

Chin up girl! You can do this!