Staying with unhealthy in-laws

KimmyEB

What does she seriously think she'll accomplish by telling her son that his girlfriend isn't allowed to lose anymore weight? haha. And what does your boyfriend think of their nonsense?

When people comment on what I eat, I've learned to just say "I eat what I eat, you eat what you eat." Or something like that. It really is none of their business how you eat. I still say they're just jealous...

mpf1

I have a similar week coming up w inlaws, except i have 2 kids, and I think they think I starve my children because I don't eat how they do! I am already anxious for this visit. I am planning to bring some bars for breakfasts, and stop at a grocery and stock their fridge at least a little. they already think I am weird, so I am going to do my best not to defeat myself there. still intimidating even at my age!

Jenn97355

My boyfriend told me last night that his Mum told him that I am NOT to lose any more weight because I was too thin the last time she saw me. I've lost 12lbs since then so that is going to be interesting when I turn up! I don't want them to be dismissive of my lifestyle because they feel guilty and insecure for their own weight problems.

But seriously, these replies have been great, and really motivating, so thankyou! I have MFP on my phone, so while I'm not going to track things around the table because that's rude, I'll do it discreetly later on.

Wish me luck!

Wow...tons of responses...one of the many reasons I love MFP! I think the first thing I would like to say is Good for you for first thinking ahead, and trying to come up with a plan on what to say when you get berated...I hate being bombarded with rude comments(especially later when I realize, RATS--I should have said "that" .
I have been in your shoes before as many of us have, having the "in laws" make harsh judgements on our way of life. To my ex-mom in law, I kindly told her that to stop commenting on my eating habits, as it was very rude and un-welcome! (She continued to do it, every day when I lived with her for approx 4 mos! She would say things like "Wow, with as much as you weigh, you are going to eat THAT?" ) I was always watching what I was eating, but was treating myself 2x week with something small...One day, after I realized I sincerely had enough, I yelled ENOUGH! I do NOT tell you how to eat...and did you ever pause to think that my "treating" myself is WHY I am not bigger?. She left me alone after that

I am sorry your boyfriend's mom felt it necessary to go behind your back and talk to your bf about your weight--it really is none of her concern. Just a thought... Could you perhaps tell her your Physician/ Primary Care Dr has said you are at a healthy weight for your height??
And also, I have 7 food allergies, so I travel with food, regardless of who I am seeing... I just tell them that I am sensitive to many things(which I am), and no one minds... seems a lot of people these days have plenty of "diet" restrictions. ALso, about eating out...I think I would like that better because you could order perhaps healthier food(most people will substitute veggies for fries) AND I love the idea of eating half and putting the rest away for lunch...I do that BEFORE I eat...it keeps me from saying "Just one more bite"

Ok...one more thing, then I will stop talking...lol...I find that using a small dinner plate and filling it up makes me feel better! Just a thought :flowerforyou: Good luck to you!

KimmyEB

My boyfriend told me last night that his Mum told him that I am NOT to lose any more weight because I was too thin the last time she saw me. I've lost 12lbs since then so that is going to be interesting when I turn up! I don't want them to be dismissive of my lifestyle because they feel guilty and insecure for their own weight problems.

But seriously, these replies have been great, and really motivating, so thankyou! I have MFP on my phone, so while I'm not going to track things around the table because that's rude, I'll do it discreetly later on.

Wish me luck!

Wow...tons of responses...one of the many reasons I love MFP! I think the first thing I would like to say is Good for you for first thinking ahead, and trying to come up with a plan on what to say when you get berated...I hate being bombarded with rude comments(especially later when I realize, RATS--I should have said "that" .
I have been in your shoes before as many of us have, having the "in laws" make harsh judgements on our way of life. To my ex-mom in law, I kindly told her that to stop commenting on my eating habits, as it was very rude and un-welcome! (She continued to do it, every day when I lived with her for approx 4 mos! She would say things like "Wow, with as much as you weigh, you are going to eat THAT?" ) I was always watching what I was eating, but was treating myself 2x week with something small...One day, after I realized I sincerely had enough, I yelled ENOUGH! I do NOT tell you how to eat...and did you ever pause to think that my "treating" myself is WHY I am not bigger?. She left me alone after that

I am sorry your boyfriend's mom felt it necessary to go behind your back and talk to your bf about your weight--it really is none of her concern. Just a thought... Could you perhaps tell her your Physician/ Primary Care Dr has said you are at a healthy weight for your height??
And also, I have 7 food allergies, so I travel with food, regardless of who I am seeing... I just tell them that I am sensitive to many things(which I am), and no one minds... seems a lot of people these days have plenty of "diet" restrictions. ALso, about eating out...I think I would like that better because you could order perhaps healthier food(most people will substitute veggies for fries) AND I love the idea of eating half and putting the rest away for lunch...I do that BEFORE I eat...it keeps me from saying "Just one more bite"

Ok...one more thing, then I will stop talking...lol...I find that using a small dinner plate and filling it up makes me feel better! Just a thought :flowerforyou: Good luck to you!

Oh wow, yeah...I didn't even think of the food allergy thing! Even if you aren't allergic, just say that certain foods really upset your stomach, so you're bringing stuff along just in case, so that it's easier for everyone. I do that especially around the holidays, since so many desserts around that time are full of food dye...too much dye makes me really sick, so I pack simpler things for myself.

rankailie

To some extent as well you're boyfriend needs to stand up to his mother. I don't know how the conversations he has with her goes, but he needs to step up as well. Something as simple as:

"Well its okay if you feel that way mom but she's happy and I'm happy she's happy. I don't personally feel she's to thin and I love her no matter what so I'd appreciate if you keep the food opinions to yourself and please stop disrespecting the woman I love."

He should be a bit of a foil for you when it comes to his family and support you. It doesn't mean disowning his family or being cruel to them, but it does mean standing up to them and making sure they know that he is not comfortable with them treating you that way.

gretchenzg

I guess I'm a few years late to this party...but I have the same little anxiety attack every time I am faced with a visit to my in-laws. In fact, I skipped Easter :-/ We came up with a viable excuse, and my husband really does understand my predicament. I have now reached my goal weight, and there's no excuse not to attend a 92-year-old's birthday party. So, I'm bringing two healthy dishes to pass, and will also bring a pre-made veggie tray. I always bring my own stuff for breakfast. Yoga mat, check. We're bringing our bikes. Walking shoes. Just have to avoid the dessert offerings, which are always bountiful.

460mustang

I wouldn't worry to much about over eating a bit for one weekend or eat small portions. Just as long as you can get back on track at home. As far as them making comments, I think a good response would be to rave about MFP, tell them how wonderful you feel losing all the weight, and how they should try it. Talk up a storm, tell them you'll help them get started. If they try to force food on you, say no, no, MFP says that's too many calories to eat and I feel so great after losing this weight that I don't want to risk putting it back on again. They'll either learn to shut up or maybe they'll give it a try. Just a few ideas.