Frustrated by comments

NeverStopRunning

I mentioned this morning (when asked) that I wanted to lose another 20 lbs so that I get to the low 130's. I don't think this is unreasonable. Up until recently, I have always been a very small person. I was naturally 105 in college not watching my diet at all and I was always underweight growing up (but always ate lots)!

I know I will never be that size again but I know my body and I know where I am comfortable. I feel that 130 is very comfortable for me and not unreasonble at all. I am 5'5" and building muscle so I think that is a great goal!

The problem is that when I tell this to people they get all judgemental and say it's too low and there is no way I need to lose 20 lbs. They think I am some kind of unhealthy diet and that I am dillusional about what my weight should be. It almost makes me second guess myself. I know I look ok now but honestly, I still have a lot of body fat that needs to go. My waist is still in the "dangerous" category of just over 35 inches (I am apple shape).

I guess I just need to grow thicker skin, or learn to not talk about it when asked?? I just feel like sometimes people don't understand healthy. Does anyone here think my goals are unreasonable?

PBmaria

People look at me like I'm crazy when I say I wanna get down to 105 and it bothers me SO much!! It's still on the healthy range for my size (5'0) and I'm not doing anything unhealthy to get there.

People just don't understand and are quick to judge

Julijulz

Just do what I do...when I post something that may get a lot of dirty comments attached to it, I just simply ask people to not post on it that are going to have something negative to say. It definitely works. I just recently posted a blog looking for friends who follow a low carb lifestyle like myself and asked at the end of it for people not to comment on it that don't follow the lifestyle and just want to criticize. It worked like a charm.

wonrob

I think your goals are perfectly reasonable!

I also think that some people are too quick to jump on the "that much weight loss is unhealthy!" bandwagon

atcbabe1

Just blow them off. You know what your body is able to do better then anyone. Your goal is in the healthy range for your height. Go for it and show them how awsome you can look.

Shutterpillar

I hear you. I am 5'4 and my goal is 128. I have been there before, and I was happy there. That is exactly right in the middle of the "Healthy" area on the BMI scale.
As long as you get there the healthy way, and continue to maintain in a healthy manner, why does it matter to anyone else? makes no sense to me.

morrowsarah

I don't think your goal is unreasonable at all. I am almost 5*8 and my goal weight is 140-145. I completely understand people thinking 20 more pounds is a lot. I think some people just don't understand what is going on. You should do whatever you want to make yourself happy. Not everybody has to like it....maybe they are just jealous that you are going to be a hottie when you are finished! I wouldn't worry about what other people say.

birdlover97111

Don't let negative comments knock you off-track. Do what you want to do, and if you are not sure, ask your doctor. Good luck on your journey!! :flowerforyou:

Heather75

I don't think it is unrealistic. In order to avoid comments, though, when people ask how much you still plan to lose, just say you aren't sure and you'll know it when you see it.

jamiefire7

I understand! I really need to get down to around 145 or so. People tell me I am crazy and good friends have even told me worse. I am a big boned girl and have never been tiny and I will never be tiny but I know where I look and feel my best. I say that you try to brush off what they say and as long as you are truely being healthy and feel healthy at that goal then go for it. Once you are there I think that folks will start to realize that you were right and back off some. Go for it girl!! You can do it

katheern

I mentioned this morning (when asked) that I wanted to lose another 20 lbs so that I get to the low 130's. I don't think this is unreasonable. Up until recently, I have always been a very small person. I was naturally 105 in college not watching my diet at all and I was always underweight growing up (but always ate lots)!

I know I will never be that size again but I know my body and I know where I am comfortable. I feel that 130 is very comfortable for me and not unreasonble at all. I am 5'5" and building muscle so I think that is a great goal!

The problem is that when I tell this to people they get all judgemental and say it's too low and there is no way I need to lose 20 lbs. They think I am some kind of unhealthy diet and that I am dillusional about what my weight should be. It almost makes me second guess myself. I know I look ok now but honestly, I still have a lot of body fat that needs to go. My waist is still in the "dangerous" category of just over 35 inches (I am apple shape).

I guess I just need to grow thicker skin, or learn to not talk about it when asked?? I just feel like sometimes people don't understand healthy. Does anyone here think my goals are unreasonable?

5'5 at 130 is not unreasonable at all! My 57 year old mother lost 15lbs this year just from walking and eating healthier and she is 130 and I wouldn't even say she is SUPER thin. She looks very healthy! Unless you have a large frame I wouldn't say that is an unreasonable goal at all.

Qarol

On here they said it was too low? Or are these people saying this to your face? Sometimes, people are going to say cruel and stupid things. You can't control that. You can only control how you react. I know this is way easier said than done, as I struggle with it, too.

JennsLosing

i think they're just haters.......you do what you feel best doing. unless your like 5'5 and you want to be like 80 pounds...they dont know your natural build/frame, so yeah, you do you.

mheightchew

It sounds like a good goal to me, but the only people who can make this decision wisely are you and your doc. I get this a lot too. My favorite is when I mention I am going to go home and work out people say, "Aren't you done with that yet?" As if you can reach a goal and then just stop working out lol I do have more to loose, and my body will tell me when I get there. I work out because it has become my hobby and it is a natural part of a healthy lifestyle! Keep your head up! I have learned to use these comments as motivators. I love it that I am a gym rat and others just don't get it lol

audram420

I agree, blow them off. They can't see you, they don't know how "unreasonable" it is or not...usually those people are jealous because they don't want to work harder to get smaller...keep up your good work

JennsLosing

People look at me like I'm crazy when I say I wanna get down to 105 and it bothers me SO much!! It's still on the healthy range for my size (5'0) and I'm not doing anything unhealthy to get there.

People just don't understand and are quick to judge

105 is def good for someone who is 5'0

juliapurpletoes

sing it sista!! I get alot of this too! I'm 5'9" and small framed and am 52 years old and HAPPIEST at right around 130. My Doctors love me, my blood work and I feel great!

So while it is true that we need to be watchful of overdoing this weight loss thing, we can also separate out the facts about who we are and our bodies.

I mostly have to field these comments from my obese mother, overweight friends and those here who are really stuck. Truth is we are all different people and different frame sizes, heights, ages, genders etc. Go for the healthiest person you can be and if you want to wear the same size you did in college then do it!

So you have my empathy and my support to just be YOU!

:smokin:

k8tmama

Yeah, don't get frustrated if you can help it. My goal--someday--is in the 130s, maybe lower. I'm only 5'3", and that would be healthy for me. It may be that some others are feeling defensive because they have reached a goal weight of 150, and that's great for them. It just emphasizes how individual this process is.

Be encouraged!
Kate

skatw

I think it is just called jealousy! People tend to critize things they don't have or don't think they can do themselves. As long as it is healthy and it will make you feel good about yourself, do it! Keep up the good work!

lemanda

People say the same to me when I tell them I have more to lose. They dont see me naked, so how can they judge how my body should look! I like you have a waist that is around 35 inches and I have a lot of just plain extra fat hanging around. I would also like to be around 130 and I am two inches taller than you, so I see no problem with your goal! Go for it!

katheern

sing it sista!! I get alot of this too! I'm 5'9" and small framed and am 52 years old and HAPPIEST at right around 130. My Doctors love me, my blood work and I feel great!

So while it is true that we need to be watchful of overdoing this weight loss thing, we can also separate out the facts about who we are and our bodies.

I mostly have to field these comments from my obese mother, overweight friends and those here who are really stuck. Truth is we are all different people and different frame sizes, heights, ages, genders etc. Go for the healthiest person you can be and if you want to wear the same size you did in college then do it!

So you have my empathy and my support to just be YOU!

:smokin:

Good for you!

Teeladog

Remember that most people don't do what you are doing - take control of their weight, their diet, their health. They see it as at the very least terribly difficult if not impossible. To most people losing 20 lbs. might as well be taking a trip to the moon. However, you know what you are doing...you have this under control. You know that 20 lbs. is not an unreasonable goal for you. The people that say you can't or shouldn't do it just are living in the same place as you are now. So...they don't know what they are talking about.

NikkisNewStart

Your goals aren't unreasonable. I have and continue to hear negative comments all of the time... and frankly, I don't give a rats *kitten*. I'm the one that gets to rock these size 2s and 4s, I'm the one that could probably bench press their *kitten*, and I'm the one that will outlive them being healthier and happier. I'm happy with myself and when I started that was my #1 goal.

Ashrenalls

They may not think they are being negative. They may think they are helping you "be ok with how you are." I don't think your goal is unreasonable. That's about where I want to be, actually. Some of them might be jealous that you have that as an option and the only way for them to cope it to tell you it isn't necessary. And also, until someone has read your food diary every day for a month, they have no room to say you are being unhealthy. Only you know whether you are being unhealthy or not. I would say most people probably think they are being helpful by saying your weight is fine where it is. Now, it would be completely different if you had told the whole world you couldn't weight to get down to 80lbs....

You can get to your goal weight, and you will be healthy doing it!

Have a wonderful day!

flutterqueen04

I get that a lot too. I am 5' 7" and my first goal is 144 (3 lbs away!!) and after I reach it I want to try for the 130's. I am building muscle too so I know I won't look gaunt. I was 135 in college. Also it is right in the middle of my healthy bmi range. My biggest issue is my tummy. I have the wonderful genetics of having to lose all the fat on my body before the tummy flab will go so that is why I want to lose a little more....hopefully I can knock off some of that belly fat and get to a healthy waist measurement. I can't stand it when people tell me I don't need to lose any more!! Its like "really?!" I've done my research, I know what is healthy for my body! I know what I look like naked for goodness sakes! I want to be healthy, not just skinny, so if I need to lose a little more its not for vanity its for a healthy waist measurement. I don't think I should have to explain this to everyone so now when they ask how much I intend to lose or what I even weigh I keep those numbers to myself. Its just easier that way :bigsmile:

NeverStopRunning

Thanks! Looks like I am nmot alone in this eh? To clarify, it isn't people here, it's people telling me this face to face. They say it with such concern as well...like they think I am going overboard....so frustrating!

AmyNVegas

We all have different body types and heights, sizes etc, and I think ppl forget to let their brain think before they comment on things. You have to do what is healthy for you and sounds like you are on the right track. Don't let them get to you and do what is good for you. Congrats on your loss so far :flowerforyou:

lauram1153

I can't really say what weight is right for you i think only you can tell hopefully you'lll realise when enough is enough.As for these comments i think people are either unknowledgable (if thats a word?) or jealous if its your tummy area maybe more toning would be the answer anyway from me keep up the great work and don't listen to negative comment or opinions x

SusM321

We all have a different "optimal weight" because even if we are exactly the same height, metabolism, bone structure and other factors make us different. You will know where you feel and look the healthiest when you arrive there!! Good luck on your journey and don't let nay sayers bring you down. We can all do this for ourselves!!!!!!!!

LorinaLynn

I don't think it is unrealistic. In order to avoid comments, though, when people ask how much you still plan to lose, just say you aren't sure and you'll know it when you see it.

Excellent advice.


Instead of interpreting it as jealousy or criticism, just think "these are people who care about me. They want me to be healthy and strong." That's not a bad thing. It's also not a bad thing that they obviously think you look good as you are. Maybe that's because you do look good (which you do), or just because they're used to seeing you that way, or because they don't judge you as harshly as you judge yourself.

I'm 5'5 and currently about 130. I was a skinny as a kid and through my early 20s, never getting above 115 or so. Even as I gained weight, my family still saw me as The Skinny One. If I said anything about losing weight, even at 160, they'd say, "You look great! What are you talking about?!" So I just approached it from a fitness point of view. I wanted to be healthier and stronger, and it didn't matter to me too much what the scale said.

Similarly, a few years ago, my niece lost weight before her wedding, going from a size 12 to a size 4. I saw her regularly, and didn't notice she'd lost weight, and especially that much, until I saw her in a little strapless minidress at her bridal shower. Even then, I thought, "Wow, she looks awesome!" but I wouldn't have guessed she shrank that much until I found out she needed a whole new wedding dress because her size change so drastically. She's someone I love, and as such, I looked at her with rose colored glasses. If she told me she wanted to lose weight, I'd have automatically said, "But you're GORGEOUS! Just the way you are!" It wasn't jealousy or criticism. It was seeing her as a total package, not judging her size.

yaddayaddayadda

Don't listen to the naysayers. Your goal is fine! You know your body. I get the same comments from people. I'm 5 ft. 7.5 inches. My goal is 120. That is the lowest that I will go, but I feel best between 120-125. I have a very small frame. I work out on a regular basis, and I watch what I eat. I am healthy...

People who call someone too skinny are as insensitive as thosee who call someone too fat. :mad: :grumble:

If you are healthy at your goal weight, go for it!:bigsmile: :bigsmile: