No support

mangirl

I recently decided to change my life style and get healthy. I wasn't really too "over weight' before i started the change, 145 lbs at 5'4. I have been eating healthy and counting calories and everyone in my life seems to think I have gone crazy. My parents talk about the change like it is a bad thing and I am being obsessive. If they had real concerns I think they would tell me to see a doctor or get mental help, but the kind of negative comments they make seem passive aggressive. "you have to be in control of something"

My roommates also say things like "you look great, why don't you eat things you want to eat." I tell them I am doing what i ultimately want to do, just like everyone else. You can never say I wanted to do this, but didn't. IF YOU WANTED TO DO IT YOU WOULD DO IT.

I guess living a healthy lifestyle isn't important to them and they think I am going way out of my way to life this way. Does anyone else have these problems? I am new to using this site so I don't know if this is a common thing. Maybe I am obsessing but i am not harming myself and I am trying not to sound judgmental or condescending when turning down food. I am not really complaining about the lack of support but the negativeness surrounding what I believe to be one of the best things I have done for myself.

aflane

Just tell them, "Yes, I look great now, and I want to STAY looking great!" That should stop them.

jvkh127

I think some people are maybe jealous because they dont have the courage or strength to do it themselves and they know they should. Everyone deals with things differently. Just remember you are doing this for you not them! If they continue the comments, let them know their negativity is not helping and you will need to distance yourself from them when they are being negative. If they love you they should understand your feellings on the matter.

Dramatic456

I agree, I hate when people say " you look great, why would you need to watch what you eat?" I say I look good BECAUSE I watch what I eat.

Don't be to hard on them, they probably just don't want you to develop an eating disorder, or suffer from a bad self image. If you want to avoid the comments, avoid talking about your eating habits/ calorie counting too much with them. Just keep it to yourself.

Bellum24

A lot of people say things like this when they are jealous of your courage and strength!!! Focus on yourself and tell them that it is important to you

ThatGamesStudent

My girlfriend was like this at first, we even had an argument over it, but she gets it now... She still thinks im mad when i go to the supermarket and count calories in every single item i pick up.

meldaniel

My husband's family does the same thing to me. They say I have OCD and I worry too much, etc. They also make "playful fun" of me which I know they actually mean it....they are all overweight and while I am not judgemental of them I know they feel like I am separating myself from the group somehow when I decline food or decide to go for a run while they watch tv. I just try to smile and say "yeah, I probably do worry too much...oh well," and such when we are around them. It's not worth fighting over. Stay true to yourself, girl! You know being healthy is the right choice no matter what anyone says. They all know it is, too...even if they aren't ready to admit it to themselves.

wvjanie

Sometimes people's comments come more from the guilt they feel when they see someone doing something they know they should be doing, as if that will make their choices better. The truth is that your choices now will affect your health in years to come, not theirs. Smile and continue to be a nonjudgmental light. They will eventually admire you for your commitment and perhaps envy the health you have that they do not. Perhaps then they will see an advantage in making similar choices.

Here_kittykitty

You're not alone - a lot of people come here for support because they don't get it from friends or family. You look great, so you are obviously doing something right! Keep up the good work, and don't let their lack of understanding get you down. :flowerforyou:

sunyg

I just say "well bless your heart" and walk off.

I agree with others. Usually when people see you changing in a positive way it makes them look at themselves and they usually don't like what they see. So it makes them feel better to put you down. Even in a passive aggressive way. Keep doing what you are doing. You know it's the way to go for you, try not to worry about them.

natalie7015

I completely agree with you. My husband's family is like that too. I don't even tell them that I am on a diet because then they just try to sabotage me. My MIL is the worst. She will buy me candy or chips and then when I visit she will say, Here! I bought these just for you. Or I know you'll love these! Then she won't eat any but is upset when I turn her down.Then the next week she will bring it over to my house saying someone needs to eat it up and I knew you would. They don't want you to look good or better than them it seems. That's how I feel at least.

kellydharriso

My family and friends have been doing the same things to me. It's like one minute they are telling me that I'm too fat, then the next they are rolling their eyes at me for trying to eat less and making healthier choices. MFP has been great for me, I've been on for almost 2 weeks and lost 6 lbs, and it's all due to the support of these people on here! Good luck on your journey to a healthier life!!

Jarosz79

With my family everything is a competition if I have lost 2 lbs well someone has always lost more. It's their way of making me feel bad. My husband switches between ridding my butt about everything I put in my mouth or sabotaging me with fast food. I have found that its better if I don't talk about it with anyone in my "real" life and just do for me and share my success with my husand and the wonderful supportive people on here. This is a great site share hour challenges and success here and you won't regret it. You can add me if you like.