Why does it feel like he doent notice me?

LeonaB17
LeonaB17 Posts: 304
edited September 30 in Motivation and Support
I love my huband dearly, but sometimes i'll get all dolled up and cute and sexy and his eyes still remain glued to the xbox. And people at work who knew me when i was bigger say - oh i bet your hsuband is sooo excited to have such a new wife now. I just say to them, well kinda i guess. I know he loves me whethere i'm 330 pounds or 220 pounds b/c he always has.l...but i still need him to show it and i wish that he could be appreciative of the work i've done. Part of the reason i'm losing all thhis weight is so that WE cna have a baby! Idk I just felt like ranting.

Replies

  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    Sometimes guys are completely oblivious to what's going on around them. This isn't an excuse...it's an explanation. We're often creatures of habit hun...and it's up to YOU to shake it up...because if you don't, he'll do the same thing day in and out forever lol.

    It goes like 'things are good...I don't have to DO anything to keep them that way, and that's good too, cause if I do the wrong thing, they could get worse!'. It's not even a conscious thought process lol...it's pure instinct =D.
  • marquesajen
    marquesajen Posts: 641
    Tell him! Guys are about as psychic as girls are. That is to say, not at all. For awhile my husband and I would assume the other knew what we needed, but we finally learned to say "I need space", "I need attention", "I need recognition". You husband probably thinks that it's enough that you know he loves you, and it is, but on this journey you're on you deserve some praise!

    If worse comes to worse, turn off the xbox and distract him.
  • peggyalex
    peggyalex Posts: 174 Member
    I have been there and felt the same way. I think its the place in marriage where they don't feel like they have to say they just think we know that they think we are hot. I had to have a talk with mine and explain to him that I NEED to hear him tell me that he thinks I look great and that he is very proud of my accomplishments. He was telling others just not me. Good luck! I have been there and know how that makes a person feel.
  • Scott613
    Scott613 Posts: 2,317 Member
    I love my huband dearly, but sometimes i'll get all dolled up and cute and sexy and his eyes still remain glued to the xbox. And people at work who knew me when i was bigger say - oh i bet your hsuband is sooo excited to have such a new wife now. I just say to them, well kinda i guess. I know he loves me whethere i'm 330 pounds or 220 pounds b/c he always has.l...but i still need him to show it and i wish that he could be appreciative of the work i've done. Part of the reason i'm losing all thhis weight is so that WE cna have a baby! Idk I just felt like ranting.

    Get into COD then he'll notice you:-)
  • heidi_79
    heidi_79 Posts: 27
    :( I know exactly how you feel and ask myself the same question... Hang in there
  • springtrio
    springtrio Posts: 429 Member
    I used to get really pissed about this, too. Then I talked to his mother about it. I started crying and told her "I'm frickin hot now" and he doesn't even know I'm alive. She told me she raised him to be an honest, loving person and NEVER to judge a woman on their weight. He's one of the few who doesn't. Sounds like yours is the same. Count your blessings (and I say this as nicely as I can, and not in a mean tone) because there is a woman out there crying because her husband is ashamed she's gained a little bit of weight! After that talk, I've never looked at it the same way again (and never asked him again if he prefers me big or small).
  • capNramsey
    capNramsey Posts: 35 Member
    Don't have advice on the husband situation. But looking at your stats I'm impressed. You lost over 100 lbs since January! That is impressive. He better notice. I also know with my boyfriend I've been dating for three years, he sees me often sometimes it's hard to notice the weight loss. Sometimes I don't notice it until my size changes. But I'm sure he's very proud and you should be very proud of yourself.
  • Jonathan_Episcopo
    Jonathan_Episcopo Posts: 4 Member
    I agree, as a husband, I would boast to people that my wife lost so much or whatever, or how often she worked out. yada yada yada, but for some reason it never seemed necessary to tell her I was proud of her or that she was still very attractive to me. She stopped trying and now that I am working a fitness program, she has little interest seemingly because she doesnt think it will change my attitude towards her. As the other gentlemen said, ladies if you are not hearing what you want to hear, you have to let us know about it!
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I lost 190 pounds when I left the dude who would rather play xBox than exist in the real world with me. Game over. Thanks for playin'. Never had that problem again.
  • minadeathclutch
    minadeathclutch Posts: 375 Member
    I love my huband dearly, but sometimes i'll get all dolled up and cute and sexy and his eyes still remain glued to the xbox. And people at work who knew me when i was bigger say - oh i bet your hsuband is sooo excited to have such a new wife now. I just say to them, well kinda i guess. I know he loves me whethere i'm 330 pounds or 220 pounds b/c he always has.l...but i still need him to show it and i wish that he could be appreciative of the work i've done. Part of the reason i'm losing all thhis weight is so that WE cna have a baby! Idk I just felt like ranting.

    Get into COD then he'll notice you:-)

    SO TRUE lol i play call of duty with my lovebug hahaha. but he just notices how ****ty i am at aiming hahhaa
  • minadeathclutch
    minadeathclutch Posts: 375 Member
    but anyway. guys are well guys haha. mine rarely gives me any compliments anymore. he said my dog was beautiful just like her mom (me lol) the other day.. and i was telling him i want to get a bathing suit when i lose 10 more lbs, and he said well youll look great in it now or then whenever. lol.

    for my birthday next month, im getting the fanciest sexiest dress and fancy *kitten* shoes, and we're going on a fancy date... he has no clue what im gonna show up in, and I'm sure hes going to freak out when he sees me lol I'm gonna go ALL out.

    i guess they just assume that we know... but my god it feels amazing when they say something nice. BLAH.
  • LoveleeB
    LoveleeB Posts: 560 Member
    I love my huband dearly, but sometimes i'll get all dolled up and cute and sexy and his eyes still remain glued to the xbox. And people at work who knew me when i was bigger say - oh i bet your hsuband is sooo excited to have such a new wife now. I just say to them, well kinda i guess. I know he loves me whethere i'm 330 pounds or 220 pounds b/c he always has.l...but i still need him to show it and i wish that he could be appreciative of the work i've done. Part of the reason i'm losing all thhis weight is so that WE cna have a baby! Idk I just felt like ranting.

    Get into COD then he'll notice you:-)

    True Story... that works for me hahaha
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
    I love my huband dearly, but sometimes i'll get all dolled up and cute and sexy and his eyes still remain glued to the xbox. And people at work who knew me when i was bigger say - oh i bet your hsuband is sooo excited to have such a new wife now. I just say to them, well kinda i guess. I know he loves me whethere i'm 330 pounds or 220 pounds b/c he always has.l...but i still need him to show it and i wish that he could be appreciative of the work i've done. Part of the reason i'm losing all thhis weight is so that WE cna have a baby! Idk I just felt like ranting.

    Get into COD then he'll notice you:-)

    True Story... that works for me hahaha

    My ex and I played just about every major MMORPG together at one point or another lol. Even after we split up we were still playing Rift together. We couldn't stand being in the same room...but we got along fine in game.

    Crazy how that works lol.
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