The Buffalo Chicken Wing Diet
MarshallLuke
Posts: 177 Member
I think I have found the best diet known to man! Here's how it went down:
I went out book shopping and then to lunch with my sis and her bf. We ended up at a good wings joint for lunch. I figured, since I had a nice long workout of both running and swimming planned, I would splurge and get a few wings. I ordered the "Insanity Wings Challenge," which means if you can eat 12 bone-in wings with "insanity hot sauce" in 10 minutes, you get them for free. I love hot and spicy food. I loved that I had to sign a waiver for them. I wasn't going to do the challenge (I prefer to enjoy my food rather than shoveling it in my face), but saying you wanted to do the challenge was the only way you could the hottest wings. Plus, 12 wings means at least 3 meals worth!
Wing # 1: Really spicy but good.
Wing # 2: Less spicy... I must be getting used to this
Wing # 2.5: No, I wasn't getting used to this, my mouth had just gone numb from shock. DEAR GOD IT IS HOT!!!
It took 5 glasses of water, and then finally getting a pitcher and sticking a straw in that, plus half a glass of milk to make the burning yield.
Hours later it still feels as though someone has punch me in the gut. I tried running, since that usually makes me feel better, but it just made me feel like I want to die (seriously, I put on Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You" because I thought it might be an appropriate song to drop dead to). I can't even think of eating anything else.
So there you have it, the perfect diet. Just two and a half chicken wings will help you get your daily recommended dosage of water, a good amount of calcium and cut down on those snack cravings you have been having. Plus, you will literally be unable to exercise, so no need to feel guilty about not going to the gym.
This is not just some new fad diet. Don't believe me? Try it for a week, and by the end of that week, your coroner can tell your next of kin all about what great shape you were in.
I went out book shopping and then to lunch with my sis and her bf. We ended up at a good wings joint for lunch. I figured, since I had a nice long workout of both running and swimming planned, I would splurge and get a few wings. I ordered the "Insanity Wings Challenge," which means if you can eat 12 bone-in wings with "insanity hot sauce" in 10 minutes, you get them for free. I love hot and spicy food. I loved that I had to sign a waiver for them. I wasn't going to do the challenge (I prefer to enjoy my food rather than shoveling it in my face), but saying you wanted to do the challenge was the only way you could the hottest wings. Plus, 12 wings means at least 3 meals worth!
Wing # 1: Really spicy but good.
Wing # 2: Less spicy... I must be getting used to this
Wing # 2.5: No, I wasn't getting used to this, my mouth had just gone numb from shock. DEAR GOD IT IS HOT!!!
It took 5 glasses of water, and then finally getting a pitcher and sticking a straw in that, plus half a glass of milk to make the burning yield.
Hours later it still feels as though someone has punch me in the gut. I tried running, since that usually makes me feel better, but it just made me feel like I want to die (seriously, I put on Mazzy Star's "Fade Into You" because I thought it might be an appropriate song to drop dead to). I can't even think of eating anything else.
So there you have it, the perfect diet. Just two and a half chicken wings will help you get your daily recommended dosage of water, a good amount of calcium and cut down on those snack cravings you have been having. Plus, you will literally be unable to exercise, so no need to feel guilty about not going to the gym.
This is not just some new fad diet. Don't believe me? Try it for a week, and by the end of that week, your coroner can tell your next of kin all about what great shape you were in.
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Replies
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LOL! Absolutely fantastic.0
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I love hot and spicy food...and Fade into You is the perfect song to drop dead too!
Very funny!
I hope you recover soon!0 -
I feel bad for you but what a great post! You made me laugh. You maybe able to make millions on this new diet idea you have. Think it over when you're feeling better. ha ha0
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:laugh: This is just too funny.0
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Oh that was awesome to read about, but I so wouldn't have wanted to live through it!
I hope your stomach recovers soon.0 -
Bwahahahaha! Love this!0
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The headline made me hungry... I love chicken wings! Your story made me laugh! Too funny! I have done that myself... Don't understand how people can eat them so freaking hot like that... I'm a wuss and stick with sweet barbecue! :P0
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LOLOLOL completely awesome- are we the next up and coming adam from man vs food?? love mazzy star-sorry u thought u were gonna die haha! feel better
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I'm sorry for laughing at your misfortune, but that's frickin' funny!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Oh my! Lol!!
Just a tip - water does nothing for spicy foods. You know the little sugar packets that they have? Grab one of those and put the sugar on your tounge....just about instant relief.
<<<< avid wing/spicy food eater :drinker:0 -
OMG! That was the funniest thing I heard. I had to read it to someone else. Nice fad diet but i will have pass on this one, lol0
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LOL, love it!! Don't meal to laugh at the misfortune of someone else, but yeh, schadenfreude to the max!0
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hopefully things come "out" better than they went in!0
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Well, I have learned from my hubris. I actually said to my sis, "I have never met a food that was too spicy for me!"
The funniest part, for me at least, was the fact that my sis's bf was teasing me about being a wuss for only eating 2.5 wings... until he tried a drop of the sauce on a french fry and turned bright red and started sweating and cursing.
Oh, and please feel free to laugh at me, that is why I posted this here!0 -
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Great story!0 -
LOL! fantastic!0
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I Love wings0
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I love wings...but I have to admit, I've never been brave enough to eat the ones you have to sign a waiver for!!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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