Why do I need outside reinforcement

amunet07

I've lost almost 15 lbs and no one at my job or my parents have said anything. I know there is a difference at very least in my face. Why is it so important to me to hear people comment and notice? I feel hurt that my effort has gone unnoticed. This makes me think that I'm a shallow person.

amunet07

I've lost almost 15 lbs and no one at my job or my parents have said anything. I know there is a difference at very least in my face. Why is it so important to me to hear people comment and notice? I feel hurt that my effort has gone unnoticed. This makes me think that I'm a shallow person.

DjBliss05

Let's face it. On some level, external forces are the reason we want to lose weight. I realize this isn't a popular thing to say, but I know that if I am being honest with myself that is the truth. Of course, we do it for ourselves as well, but for me the external motivation is more powerful. If everyone thought I was most the gorgeous girl in the room now, then I probably wouldn't be here!

I've been struggling with this, too. For one thing, people don't really know what to say. It isn't necessarily polite to point out how fat people are (or were), so it isn't easy to say... "Hey, you have lost weight!" for everyone. I know that is what I would love to hear, but they don't know it! Also, people don't always pay as much attention as we think they do. Most people are worried about how big their butts look, not other people's!

I think the key is to get in touch with the reasons you want to lose weight that have nothing to do with other people. Eventually, the people will catch up. 15 pounds is fantastic! Keep up your hard work.

:flowerforyou:

amycakes812

You are NOT shallow for thinking that!! I know how you feel. I lost about 40 pounds before I found MFP and when the weight loss first started no one really said anything. I felt very hurt by it, but figured that I knew there was a difference, and at the end of the day, I was becoming a healthier person.
I went back to my old neighborhood for Halloween, and even though I still see all my friends there a couple times a month, no one had said anything for over a year until that night!!
People might think they will offend you if they comment on it. That is pretty much what I have found. DO NOT be discouraged. You are doing a wonderful thing in taking comtrol of your health. :flowerforyou:

lessertess

You're not shallow. Everyone needs a little encouragement and it's nice to know that your efforts have been recognized. I have to agree wtih DJ that people are not necessarily as observant as we think they are. I've always been so self-concious of my weight that I assumed that everyone was looking at me and judging me. There's a quote that I try to remember:

"We would worry less about what others think of us if we realized how seldom they do."

I can also tell you that there is another side of this coin. I've now lost enough weight that EVERYONE notices and I'm finding it a little hard to take. The comments can become a little embarrassing. I'm actually looking forward to the day when I've lost all the weight I want and kept it off long enough that people no longer remember me as I was before.

Be proud of yourself, you've done a great job.

WillPillageYourVillageForFood

Let's face it, vanity is what brought most of us here in the first place, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that! :bigsmile: I think that sometimes people are either afraid to say something for fear of implying that you were a huge moo cow before losing weight or sometimes they just don't say anything because they are jealous. I do know how rewarding and self-satisfying it is though when someone notices and compliments you on the weight loss.