Relationships = Fat Gain?

MrsCon40

I succombed to Happy Fat Syndrome when we moved in together. I had too much fun cooking for my new little family to the exclusion of almost all exercise. Then BAM! 50 pounds on in a year.

Oopsie!

Thankfully he's also not happy with the pudge and we've taken up running together.

Kohadre

I had a weird occurrence happen that's related to your topic, Kohadre,

A relationship I was in ended rather badly and abruptly, on account of her being a lying, cheating... well, you can guess the words I'm looking for.

Anyway, very beautiful girl, and very fit.

One year later to the day, I've lost about 70 pounds and am in the best shape of my life, and I find out randomly from a friend that she's gained close to 40lbs and is a generally miserable person now.

Sad? Yes.

Do I think she deserves it? Yes.

So, I'm sorta on the fence about your idea, but could definitely see where you're coming from.

LOL, Karma is definitely a lady you don't want to **** off, and im glad to hear she favored you in that situation. This has definitely been an interesting thread to read.

DorkothyParker

It's not just relaxing, it's having a partner in crime. Walk by an ice cream shop on a Saturday afternoon by yourself and you probably won't head inside to eat a sundae. But with a partner, there is a certain shared naughtiness involved. Not to mention, many romantic activities involve food. Food is lovely, really.

I gained 20 lbs in the first 6 months of my marriage. But now (7 years after that dreadful weigh-in), I weigh less than I have since puberty, so that's something.

i_love_vinegar

i gained weight in my last relationship because he practically force fed me (for instance, I would have already ate and he would cook a meal), and I was depressed.

For me unhappy=fat gain

I'm a bit happier now, and losing weight.

sgv0918

It happens for me when i'm with my boyfriend on the weekends we eat a lot more than usually but during the week we both get back on track

This, but also on the other hand now that i am in a happy and respectful relationship, overall my weight loss and fitness has improved. Along with my confidence

erinkeely4

I gained weight during my last relationship, but in my current relationship (of 3 and a half years) I work out and eat less calories overall. I think that is partly because I used to cook and eat meals with my ex, and we both ended up eating more than we would otherwise, and we both loved ice cream so we'd share while watching tv... And also, I think a big thing is that I am happier in this relationship, so I have less comfort eating going on, and more physical/mental/emotional energy to put towards health and exercise.

JustBreathSB

Yup...when my husband is around we eat out a lot and I have a lot more "ah **** it" moments. But when he's deployed or at drill or work it's much easier for me to stay focused.

Andra01

haha not me ! when i'm not in a relationship I go to clubs and bars 3 times a week and gain ALOTT of weight lol!

nawlinsned

I know when I moved to another town and started dating a certain someone, between the lack of home cooked meals and her lack of social motivation, I gained about 60 pounds. After we broke up and I moved back to my hometown... I kept the poor eating habits and gained another 40.

No way am I doing that again. I will be active and I will be fit (eventually) and I will be with someone who takes care of herself and cares about what she puts in her body, or I will be single. Just the way it's gotta be. I don't want to look back 20 years from now in poor health and have regrets about the way I took care of myself.

Dropped 57 pounds so far, 72 to go. Then I'll weight train until I'm in the 260 range, and maintain after that.

ACowboyKid

It depends. My last relationship was really stressful and I went from 160lbs to almost 215lbs! After we broke up I dropped down to around 179lbs. Then got into another relationship and gained back to 203lbs but I'm blaming that on our completely different eating styles. Shes super skinny and needs to eat every hour where I can go all day without food and never feel hungry but will eat because its super yummy =]

Now her and I both are going to the gym and we both work out every day. I have to say I really enjoy going to the gym with my 'mate' and its totally awesome that we work on it together. I feel like its a bonding experience and that we are working on becoming healthier and better people together.

greensnow

Yeah, I don't blame my boyfriend or relationship but I started dating my partner a year and a half ago - I used to eat quite healthily and I'd walk everywhere because I don't have a car. Since being with him I gained 8 kilos because he eats a LOT of take out and he drives me everywhere yay!! Haha he is as skinny as a stick. I am obviously changing it all now though

hush7hush

This is why I would NOT date anyone that wouldn't be willing to hit the gym WITH me.

Lauren38570

nope never been a problem for me but it is hard at like the family cookouts , lol

tonilizzy88

i agree totaly i put on a stone when i got with my now partener but we moved in together in march and in the may i thought enough is enough so joined a gym and MFP in july and he loves the new woman im becoming

redheadmommy

I think it is pretty common, and not because you are dating the wrong kind of lazy *kitten* person. I think it is simply you have less time. If you are in love, you want to spend time , a lot of time, with that person. The time , you used to spend on workouts, cooking ,2 hrs grocery shopping etc. Unless your beau is sharing at the exact same type of workout interest, you going to do less workout, pay less attention to what you eat etc. I used to love very high impact step aerobic classes and my husband used to love to swim, which is not exactly social sport. When we started to date , we steal the time from those activities, which resulted fat gain.
I find that the worst come when kids enter the picture. With small kids , you often do not have enough time for the most basic: sleep.

I know, I could go to the gym every day and spend 2 hrs, but then I barely could ever see my kid or my husband. So what was easy no brainer before , it became a big challenge . Now I have consiously think about activities that all 3 of us can enjoy, which is so darn hard.

emma1488

I put on weight once I got with my first partner (still going strong). he was a personal trainer and ex rugby league player, so he got lots of exercise (and good genetics I think). He introduced me to kfc and we'd get take away heaps! I also went onto the pill and blamed that, but actually realized I was eating as much, if not more than him and I wasn't active. He would ALWAYS deny that I'd put on weight and say that I was perfect which was reassuring...but not helping the ever increasing scales...

He has helped me get into fitness though. When we first met, I couldn't run from one power pole to the next, now I'm running massive distances (well for me anyway:p).

I will just add in that he lost a **** load of muscle since we've been together. He used to be a big footballer with a six pack, big pecks, huge arms...but now he's my skinny little nerd...i loves him though

tameko2

I gained a LOT of weight in my current relationship because I picked up a LOT of his eating habits and he didn't pick up any of mine (he hated mine in fact). And we had different habits when eating out or getting takeout which is the big habit I picked up.

For me it was because eating out was a very rare treat for me, we NEVER got sodas or juice at home or when we went out, and we never ordered desserts or appetizers. It was partially health motivated but it was mostly that my family was very money conscious and we didn't spend more than we needed to to get enough food (where one entree per person is always MORE than enough, no need for dessert or appetizers, and drinks at 2-3 dollars are a ripoff). My SO came from a family that spent money like water because at the time they were very wealthy and his mom alwayhs let them order whatever they wanted, spent 400/week in groceries (and I'm talking 15 years ago dollars here) which included a lot of soda, juice, sugary 'kids' snacks, cereal, whatever.

So when I started eating out with him, I was used to eating out being a special treat - like "oooh lets share chili cheese fries" - AND he always ordered a drink if he wanted one so sometimes I would get one too (not always as I'm not big on soda, but a beer with dinner or a barq's if they had it, etc). Except we ate out ALL the time - and I was ordering things like fries ALL the time (Also growing up or with girlfriends I would have shared an order of fries and he HATES sharing food. Hate hate hates it.)

So my story isn't really similar to yours at all but I do think weight gain is pretty common for those who have never been actively engaged in maintaining their weight. I just had never learned to THINK about how often I was eating junk, because I never went places where junk was an option and I didn't stop to think about how much more I was eating portion wise because my family ALWAYS shared meals and my spoiled little someone refuses to share (argh!).

Not all my weight gain is because of THAT relationship though, friendships also play a huge part. Make friends with people who go out drinking 3 times a week (and then share tons of yummy appetizers when they do) and lunch buddies with people who weigh 300 lbs and know where every best place to eat in a 20 mile radius is and you'll gain weight too. But I'd say of the 70 or so pounds I gained it was like 20 pounds to my friends and then 50 more with my friends and SO combined (my friends ruined my lunches and my SO ruined my dinners).

Still in the same relationship but dropping the weight now, and he has dropped a little bit with me mostly through my suggesting places to get dinner that have lighter options (which means sometimes he ALSO gets a lighter option). And it inspired him to ct back on his 4-5 sodas a day although he's tried that before and it never lasts.

keiraev

There is a definite correlation!

I got married, went on honeymoon to Cyprus & stuffed my face, put on about 7lb in a week- then put on another 4 or 5 lb over the course of the next two years. It' s called complacency, and I had to nip it in the bud before it got even more out of hand! It only took me 3 months to get back to "pre wedding weight" and I still want to lose some more- it makes me realise WHY I didn't do it sooner, but I didn't have MFP In my life then lol

rybo

I don't really agree with this personally. It's never happened to me. whether with someone or not, I'm going to workout & do what I do. Typically it's been the same for whoever I was with also.

Sj20fame

I think it all depends on the individual, because I've been with my husband for 9 years, and I have gained some weight, but not a lot, and I've also lost a lot of weight, I like to look good and feel good, so when I do workout in the summer i do it for myself, cause I like to be healthy, and if I gain weight in the winter, I gain because I'm being a couch potato hee hee, so it's all been me, not because I'm with my husband.