Think I lost a friend today....

Countrymade

Okay.... sorry... but I am still stuck on "changed her matron of honor dress". Really? I think that would have been the end of my friendship right there.

Agreed.

Also, kudos to you for realizing that her friendship was hindering you and not helping you. It's a step in the right (and healthier) direction! I hope you make lots of new friends that will support you fully!!

Are you kidding me. Her friendship would have been history at that time. She was trying to take your special day away from you by doing that. Wow. She is no friend.

Countrymade

Okay.... sorry... but I am still stuck on "changed her matron of honor dress". Really? I think that would have been the end of my friendship right there.

Agreed.

Also, kudos to you for realizing that her friendship was hindering you and not helping you. It's a step in the right (and healthier) direction! I hope you make lots of new friends that will support you fully!!

Are you kidding me. Her friendship would have been history at that time. She was trying to take your special day away from you by doing that. Wow. She is no friend.

Forgot to put I agree . I am still stuck on the dress thing too.

giaciccone

I posted on my fb page today about how I wanted some chicken wings, and how good they sounded. But, obviously, I didn't act on that. If I go to my favorite wing place, I'd get the wrap, which has 4 pcs of boneless wings in it, a salad (pretty much), and a tortilla wrap. Ranch Dressing is optional on the side, and I'd decline. But a huge wrap like that is 600 calories. And a beer to go along with it: 55 calories (bud select). She proceeds to tell me "OH NO! DON'T YOU DARE DO THAT! The fried food will KILL YOU!"

... this is coming from someone who's never dieted in her life, is about 125lbs, and thinks she's a "motivator".

Also the same one who changed her matron of honor dress in my wedding and made it white. "so she'd match me."

...also, this woman is never wrong. So she thinks....

Sorry, but based on these reasons above that is one crappy friend.
SHE WANTED TO MATCH YOU SO SHE WORE WHITE? SERIOUSLY? That would've pissed me off enough to end the friendship immediately. I also hate friends who ALWAYS think they are right. NO ONE IS RIGHT ALL OF THE TIME!

UGH, your friend aggravates me & I don't even know her. I couldn't imagine ever being close with someone like that.

mary6446

Some people don't like to see others succeed. I'm like the other ladies about the matrons dress. wth?

MissingMyOldSelf

Guys, I want to thank you all so much for your support. I mean, I can't express my sincere thanks enough to you all.

And to those who said it was too much drama, thank you, too... but if you didn't want to contribute to the drama, you didn't need to post anything. So, thank you for adding your 2 cents.

I'm not totally sure what I want from this friend. I did give an apology to her, and I haven't received anything back. I probably won't.

She claimed that she didn't want to be the same as the other girls in the wedding, so she wanted to look different. When I was with her, she ordered an ivory top with a red bottom two-piece dress. She came back a week later to the dress shop and changed to "all ivory". I also was asked to postpone going to the reception from the ceremony so she could go to Target and get a slip for her ivory skirt. It wasn't my fault that everyone in the church could see her white lace boy short-underwear because she didn't get a slip prior to the wedding. I refused to postpone Proudest moment of my day.

And really... I have no clue what she would be jealous of that I have. I'm overweight, low self esteem, I'm not rich..... She's skinny, thinks the world of herself, and married into money. (seeeeeeeeee? PROBLEM STARTS THERE) Whenever one of us in our friend group does something, she's got to do something to totally blow us out of the water. Like we had a surprise birthday party for my husband. It was low-key, nothing big, nothing too expensive. She threw one for her husband and bragged about how she spent $1000 on the party. I don't have that kind of money to throw around.

Yeah.... I'm going to just lay low for awhile after this....

Shannon023

Sometimes we have to weed our garden's. :flowerforyou:

sunshinel397

You do not need friends like that! Some people try to sabotage people while they make lifestyle changes, pretending to motivate when they just want to be hurtful. Sorry your friend was mean. You should not feel like you have to apologize to her. Especially after the white dress she wore to your wedding. Sounds like she needs to be center of attention at all times. Good luck and in a while you will see you are better off!

sloanie1

I posted this to MFP's this morning:

"Keep away from people who belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great"

There are plenty more people out there who will support you!!! I have culled many "aquaintances" over the years....I hardly associate with my parents for the same reason...people say blood is thicker than water....I don't agree, any negative energy is a waste of your life.....xx

Elzecat

Sometimes you outgrow certain people and you need to let them go. If she is not being supportive (and supportive is different from those who "try to help") of your new lifestyle and of your goals, then maybe it's just time for you to grow apart.

I'm sorry you are going through this. Weight loss is hard enough, without having to deal with others (especially those we consider friends) being less than helpful.

I ended a 17 year friendship last year...for different reasons...but I can totally relate. As much as it hurts...especially when you have a long history with someone...you deserve people in your life who can support you and ALL of your goals.

I wish you the best of luck with your continued healthy lifestyle!

TTHdred

Let’s look at the positive. This is a mfp NSV…..:bigsmile:
You have realized that sometimes a “lifestyle change” involves some of the life lessons learned in the company we keep. I have found that a really great friend of mine, who is overall supportive, should really be taken out of my life because she encourages going out and drinking, which sabotages many of my other efforts. I think the insight you wrote your post with, is enough to celebrate how much you have grown and where you are on your journey. So “great work” and “wtg” ….you’ve done great!

Packerfan23

The dress issue at the wedding would have been it for me. My sister's mother in law wore a white dress at her wedding, but then changed for the reception...not sure what her reason was...never asked, but I thought it was pretty awful that she would do that and try to show up the bride. Keep on doing what you are doing...maybe she'll come around sometime. Best of luck on the rest of your journey! :flowerforyou:

FL_Nettie

People only treat us how we let them treat us. I'm sorry, but if you continue to be "friends" with this woman you will get what you deserve. It seems like she wants to be the center of attention and in charge of everything and you let her. (why would you allow her to change her dress for YOUR wedding?) Take a stand and remove her from your life. Sorry if I'm being a little blunt, but it sounds like you could use a little tough love.

MissingMyOldSelf

People only treat us how we let them treat us. I'm sorry, but if you continue to be "friends" with this woman you will get what you deserve. It seems like she wants to be the center of attention and in charge of everything and you let her. (why would you allow her to change her dress for YOUR wedding?) Take a stand and remove her from your life. Sorry if I'm being a little blunt, but it sounds like you could use a little tough love.

She changed her dress on her own. I had no clue until the night before the wedding when she showed it to me.

SwtKittN

She didn't deserve your apology She deserved a slap across the face imo haha But yes I agree with everything FL_Nettie said... let her go and move on, you DESERVE better friends.

Justkeepswimmin

Okay.... sorry... but I am still stuck on "changed her matron of honor dress". Really? I think that would have been the end of my friendship right there.

Yeah I'm with her on this one sounds like she's a bit self absorbed and attention seaking .... all about her....

drvvork

I'm with so many - about the white dress - that's over the top for me. It was to be about you and not her. As far as losing a friend, the natural cycle is that we change our circle of friends approximately every 7 years. Maybe you are in that cleansing process?