So disappointed in myself

erica14304

So, I've been on MFP for several months now. I've lost 17 lbs. The last two months I've had such a hard time. I started a new job at the end of May working 5 days a week when before I was only doing three 12 hour shifts. Working just three days a week made it much easier to work out.

I am a single mother of two kids which does make going to the gym more difficult now. Already, I get up at 5:30 just to get to work by 7:30. The gym daycare doesn't open til 9 and my kid's daycare doesn't open til 6:30. Even if I dropped them off at 6:30 and worked out, then showered and got ready I wouldn't be at work until after 9. That's just not do-able for me. In the evenings, the gym daycare is closed at 5 and I really don't want to leave my kids at daycare from 7am til 6pm when I will finally be able to pick them up after my workout. I've been doing some Zumba at home, so that's something, but it's still hard for me to make myself do it. Maybe I'm just making excuses, I don't know.

I've been struggling with my calories. I was doing 1200/day with no problem. Now I feel like I am failing every day because I go over my calories to about 1500 or more sometimes.

I changed my setting to allow myself 1400-ish a day now so hopefully it will be more manageable for me and I won't feel like such a failure every day which makes me so frusturated.

I just needed to vent a little. Any words of encouragement would be appreciated.

Jennloella

I don't blame you at all for not wanting to leave your kids in daycare that long! is there any way you can get up just 15 minutes earlier and do a quick exercise DVD before they wake up? take out all that silly commuting to and from the gym? or maybe in the evening walk with them? it's hard to adjust to a new schedule. I gained a ton of weight when i went from staying home with the kids to working full time, finally I got fed up and had to to part time because I just didn't have any time for myself. How old are the kiddos?

thetrishwarp

You can do it! I know it seems overwhelming, but it's a slow process - you're not going to change your whole life in a week.

Try to find ways to exercise that include your kids. Have them ride bikes with you as you jog, or bike with them. If they're too little for that, push them in a stroller or walk with them in a wagon. Go to the park with them and throw a ball around. If you do this for an hour, you're getting in some workout time and some quality kiddo time!

hunterzmomma

Holy packed days for you momma!! if I were you, I would start taking your kids out for nice evening walks! that's what I do! definitely a start!

DaveShoreshe

Don't be disappointed! The past is the past... Every new day is a gift, that's why we call it the "present"!! Get back to what you were doing and feel good moving forward. Everyone slips up! It takes a stronger person to acknowledge it, learn from it and benefit from it. You can do it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

camckinney

Don't beat yourself up. You cannot change how you have managed the last couple of months but you can change how you manage today. I totally understand about the gym, who wants to spend even more time away from their kids after working all day. I don't know how old your kids are, but mine love to work out with me. I use the wii and I go for walks and bike rides, which my kids enjoy coming along as well. To keep my walking pace up, I have them ride their bike or scooter while I walk. You could also go outside and play kick ball with the kids, or chase. All activities that keep you moving and the kids would love to do with you. You can do this, don't give up! Remember to eat back the calories you burn.

findingfit23

Not sure how old your kids are, but can you walk, or ride bikes with them? Go to the park and run around for a bit?

AbbyCar

Don't be disappointed! Everyone falls now and again. Keep brainstorming on ways to get some more exercise in. It doesn't have to be a large chunk, 10 minutes here and there does add up!
Be proud of yourself for caring about your health!!

bunnyb11

Hang in there as it will get easier....I struggle with the same things you do. i cannot afford to join a gym so i work out @ home and try to walk on my lunch hour @ work just for this reason.....i have two kids and am a single mother....it can be done just keep the faith an keep your head up...........zumba is a excellent workout which allows you to burn lots of calories.....

Keep you head up!!!!!! you will get thru this..


The Best of Luck to you on this Journey........................


Bunny

paniolo5

Many of us have been in your shoes - or similar - when we get really busy & unmotivated & then hard on ourselves for failing. I'm actually in a rut right now that I am desperately trying to work out of. But guess what? You are NOT a failure - you've lost 17 pounds! That is fantastic and you should be PROUD! There is nothing wrong with slowing down your weight loss. Just hang in there, keep making healthy choices & do what you can to find ways to fit in exercise - park farther away in the parking lot so you have to walk a little more, take stairs whenever you can, stand up and walk around when you are on the phone...these little things will add up until you figure out a way to get more exercise in. I don't know how old your children are but you can get them involved - playing the yard or doing a DVD with your kids, Wii, etc., will also burn calories & be fun for them. You're doing great and you will get through this difficult period. Focus on what you've accomplished!

rainbowbuggy

Is it possible to maybe walk at work on your lunch? Maybe get a workout video that the kids can do with you to keep them busy while your exercising? Or put a movie on for them while your exercising? Or maybe take them to a park that has a track and let them play while you walk the track?

I know and understand where your coming from, I have 3 kids...all in different age ranges ( 16yrs, 7yrs, and 3yrs) so I get it but you have to make time for yourself. Exercise is important but diet is the main thing that you have to control.

Hope you get some sort of routine down. Hang in there!

runner328

Don't beat yourself up so much. Do what you can. Try some little things like parking your car further out or taking the stairs instead of the elevator. If it's possible go walk for 10 or 15 minutes of your lunch. All the little things add up!

catanzca

You are not alone, everyone goes through rough patches. Just try to take some time out of your day to re-group and remember WHY you are on this journey. Don't let the things that have happened the past 2 months derail you. Remember your accomplishments..you have lost 17lbs, that's GREAT! Sometimes it can feel like there is no time to exercise, but maybe you could go for a walk with your kids? It's not a really intense workout but it incorporates burning calories with spending time with your kids. (I don't have kids, so I'm just guessing here trying to help..please don't take offense to anything)

Just try to stay positive and look back at a picture of yourself at your heaviest weight and then look in the mirror and enjoy your accomplishments, you deserve it! It may be tough right now and maybe you will not see results as quickly as you'd like, but as long as the scale is going down over time and you feel good about your progress that's all that matters. You can do it, stay motivated!!

Feel free to add me as a friend and good luck!

kent4j

It's so hard being a working mom. I'm not sure how old you're kids are but sometimes you have to adjust what you really want to do (going to the gym) for something that fits your current lifestyle. There are great DVDs that you can do before or after work. Some cable channels even offer them for free ON Demand or check out your local library. Walking is a great exercise that you can do with your kids and because you're doing it with them it alleviates the working mom guilts. If there're a little older you can play with them like doing races or basketball. Good luck, been there it does get easier you just have to perservere!

Tracey_Smith

You're trying to juggle everything for everyone else's benefit, you need to cut yourself a bit of slack. 1500 calories a day is fine, zumba class at home is fine, missing out on time with your kiddies is something you may regret later. You've done a fantastic job so far losing 17lbs, pat yourself on the back for that, it shows you're not doing anything wrong. Best wishes x

PanteraGirl

HI there,

So...I don't have kids...but sometimes I feel like my life doesn't get me much work time either....Its hard and it sucks.....and I know how you feel in a different way.

This may not be much help....but when I'm husslin and busslin....I throw my ankle weights on for some extra resistance....helps burn some more calories..

With regards to calories....oh geez....i know how you feel! Try and find some really low cal snacks to fill your void throughout the day....or when you are driving to you work out....celery is very low...I just munch munch munch...or cucumber slices. Believe me....Im not a veggie eater....but with some forcing...I actually have become to enjoy it.

Do not EVER feel like you are failing....because you are not....you are still working out and still trying to do your best....being a single mother of two.....is very hard....there is NO FAIL in that.....

My biggest obstacle is the calories.....you can't change it over night....you just have to pick one habit a day to adjust a little....if ur having something unhealthy for lunch...make sure your dinner is extra healthy....try planning a weekly menu for you and your kids.....kraftcanada.com has great quick and healthy recipes on there.

With a weekly menu your shopping list will help you avoid buying unneeded junk as well. And i will also help you avoid.....that trip to McDonalds or something.

I hope this helps!!

And don't be disappointed in yourself at all!! Im sure that you kids are proud of you for all your hard work

FoxCarter

Same boat here. I exercise at home in the evenings after the kiddos have gone to bed. I hate leaving them at daycare, it makes me feel a little guilty. Sometimes I get up early and workout before I get them up in the A.M., but it is hard to get going at 4:30am.
Is there a YMCA around you? We belonged to one before and it was great. The daycare is open till 8pm and you can even sign your kids up for fitness classes, so they can be doing something while you work out. Check it out.

christinaburns

Every day is a new day. Let go of the mistakes you've made and work on getting it right today. That's all you can do!

andice224

I know exactly how you feel!! I'm a single mom of two kids too and it's very hard to juggle everything! i tell myself that too that maybe i'm just making excuses but sometimes im so drained by the end of the day that i can't barely function!! I've been thru this yo yo dieting for years and i guess i finely have the right train of thought cause this is the longest i've stuck with anything!! my ex used to force me to start eating right and excerising cause he lived in the gym but i've realized that you can't be forced to do that! you have to be ready, mentally and physically!! I'm not a morning person so I CAN NOT get up in the morning to get in a workout! i try and go straight to the gym after work before i pick up my girls from daycare or if i don't make it to the gym that day i try and do a workout at home! sometimes i think of activites to do with the girls that involve movement, like walking at the zoo for a couple of hours and i will log that as my workout!

my daily calorie intake is 1300 and i find it hard sometimes to met that! i'm trying to make healthy decisions but sometimes the healthier i make them the harder it is to get there..lol! I've recently hit my plateau and this will be the part that will test me cause normally once that scale stops going down i'm done but i'm trying my hardest to stick with it! you can do this!! maybe make a schedule of when the best times to fit in a work out will be for you! it might not be 4 or 5 days out of the week but it will still be something! hope this helped some! good luck!!

bcattoes

If your kids are old enough you could try biking or running. When my girls were young I used to run and they'd come along on their bike or rollerblades. It was great. I got a good workout and they got to prattle on without interuption because I was too winded to talk.

LauriTerrell

Erica, I know how you feel and you should not be so rough on yourself. I am in the same situation and I find that some days my best effort just does not seem good enough. But you must remember that all you can do is the best you can do and move on from there. As many times as it has been said before, wight loss is a process and a journey and you don't get there instantaneously. You have to be gentle with yourself and find the SMALL adjustments that you can make. For what it is worth, I have found that getting up at 5 til 5 allows me to get up and work out for 30 minutes before I have to get me ready and get the kids going (fortunately,they are 11 and 6 so mornings are not as intensive as they used to be ) I have various yoga and Tai Chi DVDs, and my Wii fit. I am also fortunate enough to have a pool, so may mornings I do a 30 minute swim. It is not WHAT you do, but the fact that you do SOMETHING to get yourself moving, but even this you should start slowly. Celebrate the successes and remind yourself that you are human when you aren't so successful. Another thing that I have found works really well for me is make up crazy dances with the kids- even while making dinner or taking dishes to the sink or folding laundry.... they think it is a hoot and it benefits ALL of you. Best of luck and please keep in mind that you are worth alot more than berating yourself for something that SO many people struggle with! Make it a great day!!

NayaP

Please don't be down on yourself. I tend to hold myself to high expectation so I'm really familiar with disappointment in the whole eating/exercise realm b/c it's SO not a black or white thing...there's a whole lot of grey! The truth is, the way we eat and how we exercise can be influenced by SOooo many different circumstances and people that it is unrealistic to expect to perfectly follow your intended plan all the time. In fact, if you have that expectation, you will most certainly be disappointed in yourself (I have learned this the hard way)! One thing I'm learning is to RELAX A LITTLE. Not meaning you don't show intensity in whatever exercise you do or in your decisions to eat what is best in each situation BUT that your overall mindset is shifted from rigid (I must eat only 1000 cals a day and wkout 5hrs each day otherwise I've failed at my program) to a forgiving & free mindset (I'm going to figure out the best eating and exercise plan for me based on my current circumstances and do my best each day to stick to it knowing that things happen and circumstances change so I forgive myself if I fall short and free myself to alter my plan if I see it's not working or something else may work better for me). This mindset is what's helping me stick with my transformation efforts, I hope it will in some way help you too. In the end, isn't it really about being healthier and living longer so we can be around for the ones we love? Have fun figuring a way to get your kids active and working out with you - working out doesn't always have to be about going to the gym )

erica14304

Thank you guys for all your kind words and support.

My kids are 9 1/2 and just turned 4 so the older one could bike along with me but the younger one isn't quite ready for that yet. It's been so darn hot here to do anything around 5, but maybe a little later, like 7ish I can take them out for a walk or something. Thank you for that idea. I will just keep on doing my zumba and stuff in the mornings and just focus on the small changes I can make.

Thank you!!!!

Jaradel

Another option might be a family Tae Kwon Do class. If you have a TKD school near you, many of them offer family classes for all ages - and I've seen kids younger than four taking classes at ours. I also see several parents taking the class with their kids. The class I take meets at 7:30pm for 45 minutes, twice a week. Also, you would be able to help each other learn the forms and sparring, and encourage each other as you work your way up to black belt. I find it to be a fantastic workout, and even though my older son and I are in different classes (he does the summer camp at our dojang, and they do the TKD class in the morning), we help each other with our forms. So - great exercise and great family time all rolled into one!

Ultimately, though, anything you can do to get moving is going to help you. I had a gym membership years ago but I canceled it because it ate up too much of my day trying to fight traffic to get there, or getting home really late because I went to the gym after work. Once the weather cools down I plan to start up running again, and cycling. I second the suggestion to go walking in the evenings with your kids - I remember taking walks with my dad when he came over for his weekly visit while I was growing up, and it gave us a chance to catch up with each other.

Good luck!

SMarie1219

My 4 year old loves to go on walks with me and I recently got him a bike so he can ride his bike while I'm walking. He actually enjoys working out with me too when I do a DVD he will go right along with me. Try and get them involved. Teaches them good habits too!

Rae6503

I work out at home while my children are sleeping. I love the Turbo Fire DVDs.

I firmly believe that 1200 calories is TOO LOW for most people. It IS hard. People don't stick with hard things. Change your weight loss goals to 0.5-1 lbs per week and see what it tells you. I prefer to keep mine at 0.5lbs/ week and eat my exercise calories so that it's easy. Doesn't feel like a "diet" at all.