Something the local radio station posted

Cherilea

~~Time for some "CWOFEE TAWLK" ~~

It's a result of of a poll, although it didn't say where the poll originated from -

48% of guys said they would break up with their girlfriend if she gained weight. Only 20% of woman said they would do the same. Has this ever happened to you or someone you know?

I guess Im surprised that almost 1/2 the guys polled said they would break up with their so if she gained weight. Is it that much of a deal breaker? And where is the line? At what point (weight) does a guy just say "enough is enough...you are way to fluffy for me!" Do you think that percentage is way to high?

Ladies, are you surprised that only 20% of the woman polled said they would break up w/ their SO if they gained weight? Are woman more "forgiving" when her man's abs go from washboard to pony keg?

~~Discuss~~

kapeluza

If a guy broke up with me because I gained weight then good f*cking riddance.

I_give_it_2_u_str8

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/300167-half-of-men-would-ditch-woman-who-gained-weight-poll

springtrio

That's really shallow. When DH and I got together almost 11 years ago I was 130, and by the time we had our last child, and I started weight loss I was 247. Not once during my "fat years" did he ever call me fat or consider leaving me for my weight (or any reason). Guess I got my hands on one of the decent few out there. Guess these men didn't get the FYI, that beauty eventually fades.

runner328

I read the same poll on the internet. By the way my hubby just left me in March because he didn't "find me attractive anymore". I was 5"6 & 160 lbs.

gettin_fit_nikk

i was just about to post this! i think its rediculous & shallow

Schwiggity

New poll out that 30% of women lie in polls.

safiresp04

I would rank in the 20% of women... I've come way too far in my weight loss and my lifestyle has changed so much for the better, that I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't share those same goals. I started this long before joining MFP and it's taken me 6 years to get here, but I will never go back. To be with someone who doesn't care about their appearance or what they put in their stomachs is a deal breaker for me - it's right up there with smoking. If a guy is overweight, but making strides to better himself and his lifestyle, that's one thing. Then we can be in it together. But otherwise - goodbye.

MrsZMartin

Just to play devil's advocate....my bf and I got together (nearly 8 years ago) with the understanding that both of us are health conscious people who feel physical attraction is a major part of a healthy relationship. We have agreed to support each other in food and exercise decisions. That being said, when I gained 20 lbs after a car accident, he only noticed that my boobs got bigger Now, I would be incredibly hurt and pissed if he left me for weight gain,however part of our relationship is that we both agree to stay relatively fit and healthy. We are still incredibly attracted to each other, and hope to stay that way.

MrsZMartin

I would rank in the 20% of women... I've come way too far in my weight loss and my lifestyle has changed so much for the better, that I can't imagine being with someone who doesn't share those same goals. I started this long before joining MFP and it's taken me 6 years to get here, but I will never go back. To be with someone who doesn't care about their appearance or what they put in their stomachs is a deal breaker for me - it's right up there with smoking. If a guy is overweight, but making strides to better himself and his lifestyle, that's one thing. Then we can be in it together. But otherwise - goodbye.

Well said. Very similar to smoking. I am all for a long process of communication and working together, but if there is no effort on his part to improve his health, then I'm with you and the rest of the 20%.

123456654321

It would be interesting for me to know what kind of relationships the people polled were in (if they were in one at all.) If they just polled whoever, theses statistics don't really surprise me at all, but if they were married or in a long term relationship the numbers are a little more surprising.

keb80

I have a friend who this happened to. Her boyfriend left her for someone else b/c she gained weight... the real kicker is that she was 8 months pregnant with his baby. Total D-bag....

joybell32

I have a friend who this happened to. Her boyfriend left her for someone else b/c she gained weight... the real kicker is that she was 8 months pregnant with his baby. Total D-bag....

WOW! She's better off!

123456654321

I have a friend who this happened to. Her boyfriend left her for someone else b/c she gained weight... the real kicker is that she was 8 months pregnant with his baby. Total D-bag....

Well, weight gain from being pregnant is a little different then just letting yourself go......

joybell32

My husband doesn't care either way. He loves me for me! I was about 30 lbs heavier when we met and gained a little more after we were married. I've been struggling with it for the past cpl years now, but he is supportive. He just wants me to be happy with myself!

pumpkinmoccasin

I feel like this might be better fleshed out with a second poll of "how serious are you about your relationship"... I just can't see someone being in a 3-4 year relationship breaking up with someone because of weight fluctuation. I guess maybe if it's serious (80+ lb) weight gain? I don't know! I just can't put myself in someone's head that is like that.

Me & my hubby married at each of our highest weights, having been together since each of our lowest weights... We gained that "happy weight" and it just went spiraling out of control, lol! But even though that I'm as attracted to him as when he was thin and vice versa

keb80

I agree!! I guess he thought she'd gained way too much. She did gain a lot (way over the standard 25-35 that the docs recommend) but some people do during pregnancy. She eventually lost it all after the baby and looked better than ever... He wanted her back even.

Panda_Jack

New poll shows that 90% of all polls are fictional and that the statistics can't actually be proven.

koosdel

If someone stops caring about themselves..

It's a flawed poll anyway.

Slimithy

I didn't marry a scale; I married a woman. I'm pretty sure the vows I took cover this one; "For better or for worse; in sickness and in health... as long as you both shall live..." Yep... If an unhealthy lifestyle is an illness, which I think it is (I'm not claiming genetic causes, more a behavioral disorder), then you can't just say, "Oh well, I quit. That hottie over there deserves a peice of this because of all the work she's put into her body".

And no, it doesn't matter if he/she "agreed" to stay fit. We all agree to things before and after we get married that we then have to modify later in life. We grow and mature and change. The key to a happy and long marriage is you learn to grow and change together through encouragement, forgiveness, and acceptance. That includes acceptance of changes in body shape and size.

Jennjenn1974

(playing devil's advocate here)

I am going to assume we are talking about a serious weight gain here. Not just a few pounds here and there.

Weight gain can seriously affect a relationship. Especially if the party that gained the weight doesn't want to do anything about it. A person cannot help if they find thier partner unattractive if they have gained alot of weight.

We have most likely all been in the uncomfortable situation where our partner tells us "I don't find you attractive anymore" it's beyond humiliating.

I guess it all comes down to the type of relationship you have. Yeah any guy who dumps a woman is going to be labled as a douche. But, maybe, just maybe he is being honest. Not only with himself but with his partner as well. Isn't a relationship supposed to be all about communication,? Shouldn't a guy be able to sit down and be honest with his thoughts and feelings without feeling like he is in the wrong (even if he is )?

A woman who says "he loves me for me no matter what I look like" is naive. Guys are superficial creatures(please note I am generalizing I don't mean all guys).

What honest woman can say if her guy gained a large amount of weight that she would still find him attractive in the same way?

I have tried so hard to create a safe comfortable environment where my partner and I can talk to each other about anything. Does it always work? Nope. But it's there.

Slimithy

(playing devil's advocate here)

I am going to assume we are talking about a serious weight gain here. Not just a few pounds here and there.

Weight gain can seriously affect a relationship. Especially if the party that gained the weight doesn't want to do anything about it. A person cannot help if they find thier partner unattractive if they have gained alot of weight.

We have most likely all been in the uncomfortable situation where our partner tells us "I don't find you attractive anymore" it's beyond humiliating.

I guess it all comes down to the type of relationship you have. Yeah any guy who dumps a woman is going to be labled as a douche. But, maybe, just maybe he is being honest. Not only with himself but with his partner as well. Isn't a relationship supposed to be all about communication,? Shouldn't a guy be able to sit down and be honest with his thoughts and feelings without feeling like he is in the wrong (even if he is )?

A woman who says "he loves me for me no matter what I look like" is naive. Guys are superficial creatures(please note I am generalizing I don't mean all guys).

What honest woman can say if her guy gained a large amount of weight that she would still find him attractive in the same way?

I have tried so hard to create a safe comfortable environment where my partner and I can talk to each other about anything. Does it always work? Nope. But it's there.

Indeed a relationship is about communication. But when you get married (an I am saying marriage and not dating, there's lots of reasons to end a dating relationship) you are committing for life. You are not committing to stay with someone while you are attracted to him or her. What if the reason for a lack of attraction is different? I'm not particularly drawn to women with no legs, for example. I would find my wife less attractive if she were to lose her legs in an accident. I still would never leave her, even if she refused to get prosthetics that may make me more attracted to her.

The same is true of weight. Weight gain, especially big weight gain is never as simple as you just have to choose to be skinny. I think all of us that have struggled with our weight know there is both a mental and physical aspect to it. There are behaviors to be unlearned, but we often don't decide to unlearn them until we hit bottom.

Marriage is about being with and there for your partner when they hit bottom as well as when they are on top of the world. I choose to be with my wife through her struggles as she chooses to be with me through mine.

RyonsLions2

Slimithy has got it! I completely agree with him. You da man!! :laugh: LOVE never fails.

Jennjenn1974

(playing devil's advocate here)

I am going to assume we are talking about a serious weight gain here. Not just a few pounds here and there.

Weight gain can seriously affect a relationship. Especially if the party that gained the weight doesn't want to do anything about it. A person cannot help if they find thier partner unattractive if they have gained alot of weight.

We have most likely all been in the uncomfortable situation where our partner tells us "I don't find you attractive anymore" it's beyond humiliating.

I guess it all comes down to the type of relationship you have. Yeah any guy who dumps a woman is going to be labled as a douche. But, maybe, just maybe he is being honest. Not only with himself but with his partner as well. Isn't a relationship supposed to be all about communication,? Shouldn't a guy be able to sit down and be honest with his thoughts and feelings without feeling like he is in the wrong (even if he is )?

A woman who says "he loves me for me no matter what I look like" is naive. Guys are superficial creatures(please note I am generalizing I don't mean all guys).

What honest woman can say if her guy gained a large amount of weight that she would still find him attractive in the same way?

I have tried so hard to create a safe comfortable environment where my partner and I can talk to each other about anything. Does it always work? Nope. But it's there.

Indeed a relationship is about communication. But when you get married (an I am saying marriage and not dating, there's lots of reasons to end a dating relationship) you are committing for life. You are not committing to stay with someone while you are attracted to him or her. What if the reason for a lack of attraction is different? I'm not particularly drawn to women with no legs, for example. I would find my wife less attractive if she were to lose her legs in an accident. I still would never leave her, even if she refused to get prosthetics that may make me more attracted to her.

The same is true of weight. Weight gain, especially big weight gain is never as simple as you just have to choose to be skinny. I think all of us that have struggled with our weight know there is both a mental and physical aspect to it. There are behaviors to be unlearned, but we often don't decide to unlearn them until we hit bottom.

Marriage is about being with and there for your partner when they hit bottom as well as when they are on top of the world. I choose to be with my wife through her struggles as she chooses to be with me through mine.

Then you are a rarity, my friend. And I commend you

SueInAz

This poll talks about girlfriends and boyfriends not about husbands and wives. If you're with someone you aren't married to yet, and they let themselves go, that does say something about how things will go once the relationship gets to the committed stage, doesn't it? This is totally hypothetical since I've been married for 23 years, but I would never date someone who smoked or did drugs and if I were dating someone who took up either of those in the middle of the relationship, it would be a deal breaker for me, too. I'd feel the same way about taking care of their health. Besides, a guy gains weight because he becomes less active and/or eats and drinks more. Would I want to date a guy who does nothing but eat, drink and lounge on the sofa all day? Probably not.

I also think that men are more focused on the physical appearance of their SOs (in general) than women are, so the results of this poll don't surprise me so much.

Slimithy

Slimithy has got it! I completely agree with him. You da man!! :laugh: LOVE never fails.

Thank you, but we fail daily... We just don't stop trying.

Cherilea

(playing devil's advocate here)

I am going to assume we are talking about a serious weight gain here. Not just a few pounds here and there.

Weight gain can seriously affect a relationship. Especially if the party that gained the weight doesn't want to do anything about it. A person cannot help if they find thier partner unattractive if they have gained alot of weight.

We have most likely all been in the uncomfortable situation where our partner tells us "I don't find you attractive anymore" it's beyond humiliating.

I guess it all comes down to the type of relationship you have. Yeah any guy who dumps a woman is going to be labled as a douche. But, maybe, just maybe he is being honest. Not only with himself but with his partner as well. Isn't a relationship supposed to be all about communication,? Shouldn't a guy be able to sit down and be honest with his thoughts and feelings without feeling like he is in the wrong (even if he is )?

A woman who says "he loves me for me no matter what I look like" is naive. Guys are superficial creatures(please note I am generalizing I don't mean all guys).

What honest woman can say if her guy gained a large amount of weight that she would still find him attractive in the same way?

I have tried so hard to create a safe comfortable environment where my partner and I can talk to each other about anything. Does it always work? Nope. But it's there.

Indeed a relationship is about communication. But when you get married (an I am saying marriage and not dating, there's lots of reasons to end a dating relationship) you are committing for life. You are not committing to stay with someone while you are attracted to him or her. What if the reason for a lack of attraction is different? I'm not particularly drawn to women with no legs, for example. I would find my wife less attractive if she were to lose her legs in an accident. I still would never leave her, even if she refused to get prosthetics that may make me more attracted to her.

The same is true of weight. Weight gain, especially big weight gain is never as simple as you just have to choose to be skinny. I think all of us that have struggled with our weight know there is both a mental and physical aspect to it. There are behaviors to be unlearned, but we often don't decide to unlearn them until we hit bottom.

Marriage is about being with and there for your partner when they hit bottom as well as when they are on top of the world. I choose to be with my wife through her struggles as she chooses to be with me through mine.

Then you are a rarity, my friend. And I commend you

I agree! And that is what love is all about, isn't it?