Confessions: a complacency phase?

meadows654

Ok... I feel the need to put this out there because I'm sure there must be other people who've experienced this. I started my fitness journey in Sept of 2010. I have lost ~44 lbs and look different enough that I hear "You look great!" from just about everyone. It feels wonderful to hear this. And I've started to genuinely accept the compliments. My self-image has been boosted and I love that I feel stronger physically.

Here's the kicker... now that I look better (not quite there yet, but better) that feeling of "need" that I had to workout almost every day and to make sure I always stay super close to my net calories has dissipated. It has slowly deflated like a balloon. From the beginning I allowed myself one meal a week (and sometimes a dessert that same day) to go over and just enjoy something I knew wasn't great for me. This has really helped my cravings . Now I'm starting to do it closer to 2 times a week and I'm living more of a maintenance lifestyle when you balance it off with the in-line eating I'm doing the rest of the week and with the exercise that I'm still doing (~5 days a week, burning 150-300 calories each time). I always go back to exercising and eating well the next day so I'm not beating myself up anymore on the couple of days that I go over a bit. My weight is staying the same (no surprise there) :laugh: and it sort of bothers me, but not enough I guess to burn more and limit myself to just one "cheat" meal a week again.

Is this a phase? Is it hormones? Is it self-sabotage? Is this just me needing a break because I've been doing this for almost a year? I don't know. I'd say that I have ~10 lbs left to go. Hard to calculate because of my body type (really short, busty and I build muscle easily). And I'd like to see the tummy flab go away eventually. (That's where mother nature decided to put most of my fat supply.) It's just the pressure I used to put on myself to really stay in line isn't there anymore. If I don't workout or if I go over a little on the calories, it's not the end of the world to me. It's not a lack of motivation. It's almost closer to a type of complacency. One day I wanna go for it and I do! And then the next day I feel like, well, if it takes me a month to lose a pound, so be it.

Am I alone in this? Is anyone else feeling this way... or felt this way and wound up working through it? Or are there people out there just taking it slower now and not minding?

swinginchandra

I've definitely felt that way! It's like, to begin with, there wasn't anything that I wanted more than to look how I look now. Yes, I still want to lose more weight, but I still look great, I fit into size smalls, and people call me skinny and crazy, and ask why I bother caring what I eat.
I think it's just a phase. I have found that seeing people who are REALLY fit / look good are a great motivation to me - they make me think, "I can look better than just good, I can look PHENOMENAL!". But I still feel like, as long as I'm losing weight, however slowly, then it's fine. The urgency certainly isn't there anymore. I mean, if I lose 2 lbs in a month, that's still 2 lbs. Another 2 lbs next month, and I'm still making progress.
I think having general fitness goals to work towards helps as well. So instead of focusing on weight, focus on your 5k time, or something... Anyway, just my experience.

thetrishwarp

We must be twins or something. I too am on my last 10 lbs and hoping that zaps the belly fat, which is really the reason I feel "fat". But I, too, have been much more relaxed about my eating lately. A chocolate bar here, a muffin there - I'm within my goals *usually*...but I just don't have the same drive to be meticulously healthy all the time.

Hopefully it's something we can both perservere through!

onedot49

What you are feeling is I believe what all of us feel at one time or another. I have come short of making my goal so many times and it seems as soon as I start hearing those words of praise my motivation to continue dissipates. That would be ok if I was truly happy where I was. I think what we need to do is to really meditate on where we want to be. If this is it, then fine, stick to maintaining your weight. Review your original thoughts,dreams and goals and if you know you want to continue dig deep for that motivation that got you going. There is some great motivational books and even CD's out there . I have some that I listen to out night while going to sleep, kind of liike self hypnosis. You can do it!

Devilbat

Personally, I'm in this for life, so I don't mind if it comes off slower for a bit at all. There's nothing wrong with wanting to maintain for a while either. Give yourself a break from all this hubub of MUST LOSE WEIGHT. For me, my end goal is health, and so once I get down closer to general 'good' weight range, I'm switching mindsets to fitness goals. mile times, pushup/pullup reps, etc. If I happen to lose weight during that, cool! if not, I'm still getting stronger, and faster, and probably losing some inches too. It all really hinges on what you want out of this. If you need to say you weighed only x pounds for x event, then yeah, you're just going to have to push through. If you're in it for overall health/fitness/sustainable thin-ocity, then don't worry so much about speed. 1 lb loss a month is still less than you weighed the month before, right?

Overall, I'm sure plenty of people feel the same way. And if you're happy with where you are, and ok with getting to your ultimate goal slower than you got here, no worries! You'll still get there.

_gwen

I can relate to your feelings. It is something I struggle with regularly.

I ran across this article today, and it made me think about why it becomes harder to lose weight as you approach your target.

...As body size shrinks, less energy is required to maintain it, so weight loss levels off. To continue losing weight, a stricter diet or more exercise is needed. ...

http://www.johnshopkinshealthalerts.com/alerts/nutrition_weight_control/calories-weight-gain_5828-1.html

I've lost weight previously, but I have not been successful keeping it off. I'm hoping to find the skills to maintain the long term habits, focus, and motivation that I have eluded me in the past. Permanent habit changes will help, but I don't think that is going to be enough for those last few pounds.

_gwen

...There is some great motivational books and even CD's out there . I have some that I listen to out night while going to sleep, kind of liike self hypnosis...

Do you mind sharing the titles you have found useful?

thanks

-Gwen

ajbeans

I'm totally there with you. I don't know if you saw my status update yesterday, but I continually go through that. After I lost 15 pounds, I was feeling so good about myself that I just kind of stalled for a week or so. I raised my calorie goal, stopped worrying so much about workouts. But then I started seeing the things that I still wanted to change, so I got back on the horse. Then a couple of weeks ago I was feeling super awesome about how I was looking, and started to get complacent again. But now, again, I'm seeing those flaws and it's motivating me to keep going.

It is normal. It comes down to priorities. Are you *really* happy just stalling where you are? If so, great! But you can't stop with the workouts and eating right, because you'll go backward. And if there are things you'd still like to work on, then keep pressing forward. It's ok to kind of take a step back and evaluate your progress, and maybe even chill out a little bit on working so hard. I think that kind of thing helps prevent plateaus, as well as helping you keep a realistic picture of how much you're accomplishing. Just keep your priorities in line, and you'll be just fine.

melsinct

We must be twins or something. I too am on my last 10 lbs and hoping that zaps the belly fat, which is really the reason I feel "fat". But I, too, have been much more relaxed about my eating lately. A chocolate bar here, a muffin there - I'm within my goals *usually*...but I just don't have the same drive to be meticulously healthy all the time.

Hopefully it's something we can both perservere through!

Triplets, perhaps? :bigsmile:

I have 7 pounds left to go and I feel like I already made the big transformation. I have lost 23 pounds, I feel good, look good, I exercise, but nothing crazy like I see people post about on MFP (Insanity! Turbo Fire!). I am losing so slowly these days anyway (0.5 pounds/week) that all sense of urgency I had in the beginning months is long gone. At this rate of losing, I won't be at goal weight until November. Meh.

I know I'll keep it up and not gain the weight back but I am not super motivated like I was when I started. I still stay within goal most of the time so the weight will eventually come off.

I decided to sign up for an exercise class once a week (Pilates) to see if that lights a fire in me and gets me motivated. I am hoping by refocusing my energy on something (shifting from a "weight loss" focus to a "strengthen my body" focus) will get my head back in the game.

shapestocome

I read somewhere that they did a study on people from the National Registry of Weight Control that people can usually maintain a deficit for about 6 months but then they should take a break and maintain their weightloss for 6 months and then if you still want to lose more then go for it. So I don't know, I know I have been feeling the same way. I took a break last year and then in January started again and lost 8-10 pounds. Now I am at that point again where I may just maintain for the rest of the year and go from there.

melsinct

I read somewhere that they did a study on people from the National Registry of Weight Control that people can usually maintain a deficit for about 6 months but then they should take a break and maintain their weightloss for 6 months and then if you still want to lose more then go for it. So I don't know, I know I have been feeling the same way. I took a break last year and then in January started again and lost 8-10 pounds. Now I am at that point again where I may just maintain for the rest of the year and go from there.

That's an interesting approach!

_Sally_

To stay motivated in the face of feeling and looking better (but not at goal), I take periodic pictures of myself in workout clothes (which don't hide anything!) - I always look worse in these pictures than I think I would.... keeps me pushing forward!

BifDiehl

Hey Meadows ~ I have been struggling also. I've got 6 pounds left until "goal" and have been floundering without a big goal infront of me. People are continuously saying to me "You're not going to lose anymore, are you???" but yes, I do want to lose more. I just don't seem super motivated to do it! I havent' been exercising like I used to (which was 6 days/week). I think I need something new to focus on, so I think I'm going to ask my husband to help me start lifting weights. I want to be lean and strong!

So as others have posted above me, maybe find a new goal that's not weight related and maintain your weight in the meantime. Let me know what you decide to do and how it's going!

meadows654

Thanks everyone for the support and words of wisdom. It's great to know that other people are right there with you and that you're not in this alone!

I think I'm going to contunue with the Ripped in 30 and Zumba DVDs for now. And I agree it's important to focus on other goals, too like getting to bed earlier (which may eventually lead to working out in the mornings). Maybe I'll aso take a picture in my workout clothes (clothes I would NEVER leave the house in!). I'll find my inspiration again in time and with the support of my friends on here! :flowerforyou:

I just have to remember to breathe and that I have time and this more of a journey and not a destination. :happy:

BifDiehl

Atta girl!

ptpatty

I totally relate, and am trying to just work through it. I think the commitment is still there, but maybe not the sense of "urgency" (or zeal, or whatever you want to call it) that was there in the beginning, for me. Good topic, and great replies and suggestions from everyone.

cngeier

Teresa - just promise me u won't undo all the hard work u have done. I remember when I was doing weight watchers and I lost 23 pounds and I kept telling you to join with me and don't eat this or eat that...you were like me....we had the attitude of don't tell me I can't eat that because than I will! But now I see a completely different person in you....a great person who has confidence in herself and know what are good choices and bad choices - and u always seem to make great choices! As soon as I told myself I look great, I love these compliments...I started to slowly go back to eating more junk thinking, this or that won't put any extra pounds on me..hasn't yet. Well putting on 20-30 pounds later.....yes, it has come back. And it can creep on back. Just stay on track because you are SO motivational and every time I want to give up, I think of you. The one meal a week is great! If you decide to splurge 2x/week...then don't splurge the next week. I love you lots and I see the changes you have made and I'd hate for you to undo all of that hardwork....keep on going - you're so inspiring to us all!

Love you sister!