Break-up

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  • Jennjenn1974
    Jennjenn1974 Posts: 350 Member
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    I may get some backlash for saying this but....


    Take one day and do what YOU want. What feels right to you. And if that happens to be eating 2 chocolate fudge cakes, a pint of strawberry ice cream and 4 twinkies...then you do it.

    For 1 day. Then you pick yourself up and with a renewed sense of determination become the best you you can be and throw it back in his face.
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
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    What a wonderful lot of people you are!

    He is not a jerk, and it only lasted a short while because it wasn't right. I really like him but it was best that he finished it before I fell in love with him. I went into it expecting it to just be a fling, so I thought I was prepared for it to end.

    The worst thing - I obviously suppress my longing for a relationship, telling myself I am OK on my own (for those of you who say re-invent myself, I've done that - twice because that's how many times I've been married), but having someone in my life and that something to look forward to - it just reminds me of what I am really longing for.

    To top it off this week is the 3rd anniversary of the death of my husband, I had wanted it to last at least until the end of July to get me through, but not ...

    Love to all of you, you are lovely supportive people.

    GG
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    I walked and ran until I couldn't stand it anymore. It was the only thing that relieved the cyclical thoughts. I'm not a "fitness" person either. It was just good advice that was given to me, and I'll never forget it.
  • LauraMarie37
    LauraMarie37 Posts: 283 Member
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    What a wonderful lot of people you are!

    He is not a jerk, and it only lasted a short while because it wasn't right. I really like him but it was best that he finished it before I fell in love with him. I went into it expecting it to just be a fling, so I thought I was prepared for it to end.

    The worst thing - I obviously suppress my longing for a relationship, telling myself I am OK on my own (for those of you who say re-invent myself, I've done that - twice because that's how many times I've been married), but having someone in my life and that something to look forward to - it just reminds me of what I am really longing for.

    To top it off this week is the 3rd anniversary of the death of my husband, I had wanted it to last at least until the end of July to get me through, but not ...

    Love to all of you, you are lovely supportive people.

    GG

    My mother lost her first husband (my father) 12 years ago this week, then her almost-seceond husband died three years ago on her birthday, two weeks short of their wedding... I don't know at all the pain you are feeling, but I have seen someone I love go through something similar.

    For her, she exercises to the point of numbness. I honestly don't feel like that's healthy, but I *DO* think the great group of friends she has found through her triathlete adventures has been tremendously helpful. Also, maybe see if you can plan something to look forward to? My mom has these crazy cycling trips where she rides like 500 miles in one week in really gorgeous areas of the country. She goes with the same group of triathlete friends. Can you immerse yourself in planning something wonderful and constructive for the future (whether it's a trip, planning a move, a "recharging" retreat of some sort, getting some big project done you've always meant to tackle but seemed too daunting, etc)?

    None of this is meant to belittle your grief in any way. I also feel like if you need to, screw dieting for a day (or a week). I know around the anniversary of my dad's death, especially the first five years (and last year, near my wedding), I was just a wreck. It's ok. It's processing. You will be ok afterwards.
  • Lolyballs
    Lolyballs Posts: 180 Member
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    I am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. Maybe you should not think about having a relationship for a while. You don't need a man in your life to be happy. I don't mean to sound heartless... really I am not. I can only imagine what you have been going through. It's time to find peace within yourself and you really need to do that before you can share your heart with someone else. It's hard to know the right words to say.... you need to be whole before you set out into the world again. I hope that makes sense... It took me a long time to find that peace. It is the most wonderful feeling you will ever experience and I hope that you can find it for yourself. God Bless
  • Sweetlux
    Sweetlux Posts: 222 Member
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    Fiona apple.
  • RedBullLiz
    RedBullLiz Posts: 469 Member
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    Definitely listen to angry music because we've probably spend a lot of time fighting already.
    After music, have nights out where you have no one to report back to.
    Most likely, those night outs, he'll contact you asking why you're out.
    Hahaa, who's the lonely bast@$d now?!

    Overall, forget the guy.
    You know for a fact that guys will come around.
  • jesienia
    jesienia Posts: 294
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    Last break up I locked myself in my room, listened to sad music, and cried....and wrote a letter saying everthing I would love to say and then trashed it. It helped a lot. After that I think its best to work on getting over things and finding new hobbies. Anything to distract.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
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    only had 2 boyfriends, but obv both are exes. :embarassed:

    my first broke up with me, but i was leaving the country, so i had a lot of other stuff on my mind at the time...to deal with it, i remember i got an older online "pedo" boyfriend who i had take long walks with me in a mmorpg (online rpg) :laugh: then i got better haha.

    my second i broke up with him, although i did care about him...just didn't see a future. i started taking better care of my looks and got less into video games and more into anime. watching anime as well as korean music videos with half-naked guys really helps!!! i think working on getting a makeover helps too (partial reason why i joined this site, along with a health scare!!!) Oh...also, I'm leaving the country (again). I think starting over really helps, if you are able to!

    I hope this helps :smile:
  • Trixtabella
    Trixtabella Posts: 471 Member
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    hit the gym! make him regret his decision!

    Same, in fact last time I quite a serious relationship was the time I was at my slimmest. I hit the gym and hardly ate
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
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    Wow Laura, thank you so much, that was really helpful!! Well now I come to think about it, I am turning 50 so I will devote my efforts into planning my awesome party!

    I've also just booked a ticket for an event that will take me out of my comfort zone, maybe meet new people? I'm also thinking about a new 'look', no more 'old lady' clothes.

    I actually went back to yoga this week, and finally got back on my bike this morning, and after the first good night's sleep in a week, I'm feeling much better.

    Most important of all, I resisted the urge to text him, every day I do that I am closer to building a bridge.

    GG
  • tropicalicyicy
    tropicalicyicy Posts: 83 Member
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    Fiona apple.


    i second that!! looove fiona and i would listen to her every night before i slept when i was going through a break up and she helped tremendously!

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