ruin results

jessbennett1986

ok so I know that this is more of a question to ask a therapist, but maybe someone can help me for free. why do I sabbatoge my results? I'm sure I'm not the only one who does it and I'm sure it's a way more simpler answer, but even I can't figure it out! Last week I got a ton of compliments on how good I look. :drinker: I was eating good and working out 5x a week. Now since I received those compliments I haven't been working out and in turn have done a lot of bad eating and feeling sorry for myself. Any diagnosis might help me understand what's going on! Does this happen to anyone else? Or maybe I just need a kick in the pants.

GypsyRose25

This is an issue my therapist is working on with me. I sabotage myself in almost every area of my life. What we have determined is that it is a mixture of guilt (who knows where that is coming from) and a serious fear of failure. I fear failure so much that I destroy my own chances at doing well because it is expected (by me).

I think over-coming this will be harder than the weight-loss I need to achieve.

bethvandenberg

Here's my personal experience with it....

Yes I do hear that stuff and somewhere deep inside of me thinks well they think I look ok so I must be ok. Then it takes that little voice inside of me saying... this isn't where you want to be why are you doing this? Sometimes it takes a day sometimes it takes a month before I look at myself in the mirror and think... This isn't the best me I can be and I get back after it.

I have to listen to that voice. That inner voice. You know who it is. You know what it sounds like. You're just not listening. Yes we all do it. Then one day we tell that little voice to shut the F up and we continue on.

Just in the last couple of weeks have I been able to look at myself in the mirror and see the "ME" that I want right there within my reach.

You have to keep the voice and your goals in check. It's totally normal.

Jennyisbusy

How did you feel when you got compliments?

You may need to accept yourself for who you are before you can really become who you want to be. (Easy to type - hard to do.)


...and lately I get cocky and then find myself on a slippery slope sometimes and it took awhile to learn that I didn't really want to loose the same 10 lbs over and over and over.

suzikelley

I don't have an answer why - but I can tell you that you're not alone!! I do the same thing - usually after I have a loss. I'll lose a couple of pounds and be THRILLED - and then have horrible will-power either that night or the next day. I have to really force myself not to, and sometimes I succeed... and sometimes I don't. But I guess the main thing is that you realize it, and you're aware. Just don't give up trying!!

Gilbrod

That is a very good question. Whenever I complement people at their job, for some reason or another, some of them slack, others do better. I guess it depends on what motivates you. As I got compliments, I thought to myself, "I guess whatever I am doing is working. Then I gotta keep going!" When I would get lazy or blah, I would repeat that to myself. Good luck!

jessbennett1986

Thanks everyone!

I think gypsyrose25 hit it right on the nose! I never thought of it like that before, but as I read the post I caught myself nodding. Ugh it's going to be a bumpy road! I will try to quiet that voice that doesn't believe in me and try my hardest to keep plugging along. I'm sure with more than just a 6lb weight loss I will start to feel better about myself and try to do some mental coaching to help get myself to love me. I honestly don't know where this bad self esteem came from! I know I was teased in school when I was younger so I do feel like that might have a little to do with it but not this much. I'm trying to not bash myself so much in front of my daughter because I don't want her to have bad self esteem when she's older. I appreciate all the intake and try to encorporate it into my everyday life.:flowerforyou: