NSV - Compliment from Mom!

kfitz10103

So my mom has always competed with me on my weight and has always found terrible ways to motivate me. In high school she even made me log my food everyday and she would lecture me at the end of the day about how terrible I ate. It caused me to start not eating hardly at all and in less than 1 year I went from over 200lbs to 148. It was not a good way to lose weight and I am still angry at her for causing me to eat that way. Well I gained it all back and then some and now I am tying to lose the right way. Well my mom is 5'2" and 199lbs (which is actually obese). She always compared her weight to mine and I am 5'9". So she hasn't really talked about my weight loss , but the other day she actually said how good I looked. I was surprised because I know it was hard for her to see I weigh less than her. She hadn't said anything for the first 50lbs because she thinks I am "winning". (That's just how she thinks.) Well I am glad she noticed and didn't continue to pretend she didn't see my success. I know it may seem petty, but I am SUPER happy my mom acknowledged my success.

Qarol

I don't want to knock your feelings about this, but it's a shame you still need/look for her approval. I have a toxic father and went for years trying to get his approval until one day, I had had enough. I'm glad she acknowledged your success, but just in case, you may want to take it with a grain of salt, given her past behavior.

Nanadena

So my mom has always competed with me on my weight and has always found terrible ways to motivate me. In high school she even made me log my food everyday and she would lecture me at the end of the day about how terrible I ate. It caused me to start not eating hardly at all and in less than 1 year I went from over 200lbs to 148. It was not a good way to lose weight and I am still angry at her for causing me to eat that way. Well I gained it all back and then some and now I am tying to lose the right way. Well my mom is 5'2" and 199lbs (which is actually obese). She always compared her weight to mine and I am 5'9". So she hasn't really talked about my weight loss , but the other day she actually said how good I looked. I was surprised because I know it was hard for her to see I weigh less than her. She hadn't said anything for the first 50lbs because she thinks I am "winning". (That's just how she thinks.) Well I am glad she noticed and didn't continue to pretend she didn't see my success. I know it may seem petty, but I am SUPER happy my mom acknowledged my success.

Lady, you are basically telling my story. My mom has just now complimented me and it is worth more than gold to me!

anolan807

That's great!

bklyngirl71

our bodies are different. glad that she notced and gave u a nice compliment.

mlemonroe2

That sucks how your mom has set you up to have weight issues for the rest of your life. My mom always was commenting on my weight growing up and she was 300 pounds!! Last night she told me I was so pretty, but she only says those thing while she is drunk. It's like I would almost rather her not say it at all. I have a daughter who is 18 months and I worry all the time about giving her some kind of complex LOL!!!!! I am glad I'm losing my weight now so she dosn't see me obsessivly counting my calories and weighing my food every day and think that's normal!!! I hope to instill in her healthy eating habbits and try and keep the beauty magazines out of the house!! Congrats on your weight loss so far. 56 pounds is really something to be proud of. Good luck on the rest of your journey!!

tsportygirl

I have a similar situation with my mom in that she can never really see how well I am doing in the progress, and she never acknowledges the fact that I am going well and will go the opposite way and tell me about something wrong that I am doing. Part of me just really wants her approval which I think is natural because she is your mom. I have yo-yo'ed with weight a lot. I think this time is different because it's about me not her.

Really glad to hear that someone and their mom have these type of issues!

emmalene1984

Well done you for managing your weight YOUR way. it sounds like your mum is a bit like my nan who i lived with for 2years when i first lost weight, she too believes its a competition and gets jealous of me and my body (i was 25 at the time and she was in her 60's)

good luck, congratulations on getting this far and keep at it :-) x

jodazary

i am so in the same boad my mom always told me how fat i was i needed to lose weight she was even telling me this when i was a size 3 go figure im a towering 5 ft and yes every extra ounce shows on me my sister is 5'8" and was always a 00 til she had kids now she wears an 11 and shes not fat according to my mother i wear a 9 i havent seen my mom in several months im going down next week and im so hoping she will notice my weight loss . no i dont NEED her approval i WANT it

tashacan

That sucks how your mom has set you up to have weight issues for the rest of your life. My mom always was commenting on my weight growing up and she was 300 pounds!! Last night she told me I was so pretty, but she only says those thing while she is drunk. It's like I would almost rather her not say it at all. I have a daughter who is 18 months and I worry all the time about giving her some kind of complex LOL!!!!! I am glad I'm losing my weight now so she dosn't see me obsessivly counting my calories and weighing my food every day and think that's normal!!! I hope to instill in her healthy eating habbits and try and keep the beauty magazines out of the house!! Congrats on your weight loss so far. 56 pounds is really something to be proud of. Good luck on the rest of your journey!!

I feel the same way about what I am teaching my children. I do NOT want my daughter obsessing about her weight but I want to teach them a healthy way of eating and getting in exercise so that they don't have to struggle the way I did. (Also keep out the health and beauty magazines as well! )

kfitz10103

I don't want to knock your feelings about this, but it's a shame you still need/look for her approval. I have a toxic father and went for years trying to get his approval until one day, I had had enough. I'm glad she acknowledged your success, but just in case, you may want to take it with a grain of salt, given her past behavior.

I can assure you our relationship is toxic and I know I shouldn't want her approval, but I do. I recognize that it doesn't make sense and my husband would say exactly what you just said, but she's still my mom and I still long for her approval. As messed up as that is.

Tiggermummy

since christmas I have lost 40lb and the only comment I have recieved from my mum was the other day.

She had been to visit the hospis as she is under going cancer treatment

" if you have any clothes that are too small I know someone at the hospis that needs them"

she has also lost about 3 stone but that is down to the cancers she has had and not eating for days. (and then complaining she doesn't feel well!)

But i am not doing this for her!

mommyoftwins05

That's great!

chuisle

I can assure you our relationship is toxic and I know I shouldn't want her approval, but I do. I recognize that it doesn't make sense and my husband would say exactly what you just said, but she's still my mom and I still long for her approval. As messed up as that is.

That's totally natural. We need that, even if we try not to. All you can do is not replicate it in your life.

Congrats on your weight loss