Finding Love Whilst Losing Weight?

phinners

Your 19, don't worry about it. Go get a boyfriend and go have fun.

Yeah this ^, there'll be plenty of other **** to get bent and worried over later on in life.

BeautyFromPain

As to the post about being selfish with my time and energy, in my whole life I have never spent time on myself before now.

You may be thinking this is untrue, but no I am always there for others no matter what, and am usually found helping out a friend or family member with a problem. Either doing that or working 45 hours a week.

I have had very severe depression and anxiety in the past, right before I started this journey of health and fitness but right now as I am trying to find a new body I am also trying to find a new sense of self worth and happiness, as I have never thought of myself as worthy of anything and have found a glimmer of happiness for the first time in 7 years.

If you want to, call me selfish. But don't we all deserve some time to ourselves. Don't we all deserve to want to be happy, and have some hope for our life.

But in saying this, I still see my best friends at least 5 times a week whilst working full time and exercising and eating healthily so I do not see how I am selfish as you may so think I am.

millymoozie

cool can i use that excuse to why im single & no hope of anything on the cards :grumble: :grumble:

Don't give up You are beautiful, and you will find the perfect person for you! It may even be when you aren't expecting it!
I met my love online of all places....I signed up on a dating site for shi*s and giggles when I first moved south...mostly my girlfriends and I would sit around and laugh about the creepers who messaged me...then I looked for some friends to go to concerts and stuff with on the site. I had no intention of seriously dating anyone, and when I first met my hubby I told him I NEVER wanted to be married again. Well....I guess he changed my opinion there!
Keep doing what ever it is that you enjoy and makes you happy...your turn is coming!

aahh thats a sweet story ,,& thanks im ok though im not sat here desperate for it :sad: ,,not sure i have the energy to start something all over again ,had it for 19 years & the thought of all that again :sick: & to have it all go wrong again ,no no no ,,not so sure on that ,so not hunting the next one down in a hurry & anyone i do meet that makes my eyes twinkle tend to back off when i get the tummy feelings ,,the old saying sticks once bitten ,twice shy .


to the lovely lady that first posted this though ,,jeez your 19 ,,dont hold off ,,your younger years soon fly ,,so make them count & have some fun my dear ,despite what a cold person i am now ,it was pretty damn good ,would love to go back ,so live it & be free ,you cant ever go back to 19 when its gone ,,knock em dead tiger & stop worrying about the silly things in life ,happiness & companionship is what its all about xx

cheeksv

As to the post about being selfish with my time and energy, in my whole life I have never spent time on myself before now.

You may be thinking this is untrue, but no I am always there for others no matter what, and am usually found helping out a friend or family member with a problem. Either doing that or working 45 hours a week.

I have had very severe depression and anxiety in the past, right before I started this journey of health and fitness but right now as I am trying to find a new body I am also trying to find a new sense of self worth and happiness, as I have never thought of myself as worthy of anything and have found a glimmer of happiness for the first time in 7 years.

If you want to, call me selfish. But don't we all deserve some time to ourselves. Don't we all deserve to want to be happy, and have some hope for our life.

But in saying this, I still see my best friends at least 5 times a week whilst working full time and exercising and eating healthily so I do not see how I am selfish as you may so think I am.

The only post I read that used the word selfish was only saying as people who are dedicate to fitness, we have to be " selfish" with our time. As in, if you focus mainly on working out and dieting and do not balance that out with time for fun thins like dating, going out, partying etc in general how will you be able to balance the two when you reach your goals? Please do not feel like anyone here is calling you selfish because that is not the case.

and not to be harsh but, if the only thing you got out of these responses is you thought someone called you selfish then maybe you should not date, just spend time with you and focus on being happy with or without someone.

BeautyFromPain

that is not all that i got from them but was about to reply to the others actually??

Maggie_Pie1

If you meet someone, date them. If you are worried about not staying focused on your goals, then suggests dates that are active, and maybe don't focus on food. Opt for a day of hiking or bicycling or something like that, in lieu of dinner and a movie? That's my advice - if opportunity knocks, then go for it, but dates don't have to center around food.

LYL353

ABOUT BEING "SELFISH"


OH NO, no no no no.... I was saying that in a positive way. I think you (I/we) have to be selfish with exercise and dieting. We've only got one body and one life. I was just trying to say that if you were only successful in weightloss because you had time to dedicate only to yourself and you are in the habit of doing this ALONE and weight til you are done... then you could be in for a shock when you get all consumed in L-O-V-E..

That happened to me when I first met DH. I was so focused on dieting and weightloss and was 2 pounds away from my goal. Then I met him. Of course my thoughts and time shifted from me to him... cause he was cute and sweet and... blah blah blah vomit mushy stuff. I was also a little concerened how he would feel about the fact that I used to be heavier. (stupid, I know). And all of that kinda got to me. I ended up gaining some weight back (about 3 pounds), but I never reached my goal because I didn 't know how to find that balance. I think if I would have started dating him earlier in my weightloss it would have been less overwhelming in a sense.

springtrio

Your 19, don't worry about it. Go get a boyfriend and go have fun.

I agree just go out and enjoy life!

I thirdly recommend this. Been with my husband since I've been 17, will be 29 later this year. I regret not dating and just being a carefree young adult. One day you'll have a house full of screaming kids, and be pissed off you have to cut the grass on your day off.

odusgolp

Your 19, don't worry about it. Go get a boyfriend and go have fun.

*snort* that's funny ;-)

odusgolp

I really think dating has no relevance when it comes to dieting. However, it does have relevance when it comes to self esteem. If you're not happy with yourself work on that first.... don't expect a partner to bring happiness to the table, count on yourself for that ;-)

MrsJax11

I really think dating has no relevance when it comes to dieting. However, it does have relevance when it comes to self esteem. If you're not happy with yourself work on that first.... don't expect a partner to bring happiness to the table, count on yourself for that ;-)

Sudoplog wise, yes she is.

MzPix

"Sorry, I can't go out this year. I'm on a diet." :huh:

MochaMixAZ

Adding a thought to my original stance - if you find/meet someone, go for it!

But I do understand the process of dating CAN have implications on diet. While a date doesn't have to revolve around food, MOST initial dates DO. A restaurant is public, with an escape mechanism, and quite frankly - is expected. One of the ways I got around this was to exchange dinner dates for coffee dates - then I could factor in a latte into my daily calories for the day. If the 1st date went well and a dinner date was in my future, I'd suggest restaurants where I could stay on track.

Planning, I think, is key.

Unlike substance dependency and addiction programs where the mantra IS to absolutely not date during recovery, I think food addiction is different. We all have to learn to work with food in our daily environment... so why not start now. And if a guy is in your future and is supportive, even better!

odusgolp

I really think dating has no relevance when it comes to dieting. However, it does have relevance when it comes to self esteem. If you're not happy with yourself work on that first.... don't expect a partner to bring happiness to the table, count on yourself for that ;-)

Sudoplog wise, yes she is.

Why thank you dear

Namaste1983

I'm not saying it is not possible and we necessarily always put on weight but someone said just to focus on yourself whilst losing weight or something ...

Well if you know it is possible then... that is your answer. I think it depends on you as a person. Are you Independent or do you wrap yourself up in whomever you are dating? If things are going good, bad or ugly would you still stay on track? There are things in life that can derail you but, a boyfriend or gf never should. What the person meant( I am guessing) is if you cant operate on that level of independence, then focus on you and only you until you can. If you loose yourself in others then you need to not date until your goals are met. You would also ( if you met your goals) have to adjust to the new attention you might get hence teh year or so of waiting. If you were at you goal would you jump after the first guy that said you were hot if you didn't know much about him? If he was a jerk? I think it is more about finding yourself and standing on your own two feet , doing what is ALWAYS right for you rather than dealing with weightloss in general.At 19 that is important but, does not mean you cant date just that you should be more aware of you, what you need, want...know that if you brake up with a guy you still need to take care of yourself. I know when I was dating and younger I could not do that. It took me till I was 21 to be able to know what standing on my own two feet really meant ( relationship wise) and I think that is helping me with my journey now.

THAT IS PERFECT.... EVERYTHING IN MY WORLD CHANGED WHEN I LOST THE WEIGHT. THE NEW ATTENTION CAN BE SCARY AND ITS HARD TO KNOW HOW TO HANDLE IT.

chevy88grl

When I met my boyfriend, I was 180lbs - so 35lbs heavier than I am now. He's naturally thin and while he NEVER, EVER, EVER said a word about my weight (obviously it didn't matter to him or he wouldn't have fallen in love with me at 180lbs) he made me want to get in better shape. We joined a gym together. I changed how I ate. He gave me the unconditional support I needed to lose the weight. And now, I'm 143-145lbs.

I don't think you should put restrictions on love. If it is gonna happen - it'll happen.

ltlane

i have to totally agree with not finding love while losing weight. i had lost 20 pounds between nov 2010-feb-2011, met my bf end of feb early march and ended up putting on 27 pounds. ill also say it totally depends on the person. my bf is 20-30 pounds underweight so when he wants to eat he wants to eat. guess it rubbed off on me..

ArroganceInStep

Some folks have said basically what I'm about to...but I like talking:

I think the nature of the relationship is very important when you are also trying to change your lifestyle. To the extent that your significant other is able to provide you with positive emotional support and foster your own motivation, I think it's an excellent thing to date. My girlfriend (now fiance) has helped me tremendously with my attempts to get back in shape. My success has a lot to do with all she has done to help me.

If you can find someone who can help you achieve your goals...keep 'em