this is taking a toll on me

big_beautiful

ive been feeling a little down because of my weight i feel like my boyfriend is ashamed to take me anywhere or to claim me i know that i dont deserve any of that but i love him so much ... he is so insensitive and i know this might sound a little moody it hurts my feelings kinda and i need some support and advice on this please

kwest_4_fitness

Girl, it's time to let it go if it doesn't treat you right. I understand about being lonely and feeling like you need someone. But until you find that someone who loves you for the person you are and not the image you project to his friends, being single isn't all that bad. I did it for quite awhile before I found someone who makes me feel completely loved and totally sexy, no matter what that stupid scale says!

Leannek74

We all have days where things look bleak. Look for the positive, do something that makes you happy and surround yourself with the people that care for you most.

rafor

To be honest, start finding things to be proud of yourself. Start getting more fit (whether it be lose weight or tone up). And, tell your boyfriend that either you are or you are not his girlfriend every hour of every day. If he goes, let him. If he stays, he will have more respect for you because you stood up for yourself. People can treat you as bad as you let them.

catwrangler

ive been feeling a little down because of my weight i feel like my boyfriend is ashamed to take me anywhere or to claim me i know that i dont deserve any of that but i love him so much ... he is so insensitive and i know this might sound a little moody it hurts my feelings kinda and i need some support and advice on this please

wow, I'd rather be without than be with that.

reenakainth

If ur partner makes u feel **** or insecure u let go and move on...you need to accept yourself first just as u are...u are perfect no matter what it is u want to change about urself...

dont let a man control ur emotion or confidence...thres someone there for everyone and everyone deserves aceptance and support to change as and when they want to

LillysGranny

YOU are not a size or a number on the scale. If you bf doesn't love you and support you now, it won't matter how much weight you lose or how good you look. He'll still be a jerk. Are you so down on yourself that you think you deserve to be mistreated? You don't. You deserve someone who will be proud of you for YOU.

sayambular

Girl, I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend is the same exact way. He always pokes fun at my weight and things and he lets people talk crap about me about my weight and he is very insensitive as well. I say get rid of him, but I know it's hard to do that. Extremely hard. But you have to do what is right for you. And what makes YOU happy. Not what makes him or anyone else happy for that matter.

Krae79

If he treats you that way, he does not love you. When you really love someone, you love them for WHO they are. He sounds like a very shallow individual that does not deserve to have you.

NotGoddess

I'm doing a little bit of a different take on this just because of the whole mars/venus communication issues.

Has he actually said he's ashamed to take you out, or is that your interpretation? You say you feel ashamed, but you may be putting more darkness into his reactions than he actually has. There are a lot of jerks out there but not every guy is a jerk. A lot of them are just clueless about all the hashing and rehashing women do in their heads. That's not an insult to guys-sometimes their straightforward thinking is just what we need so we don't over-analyse things.

That said, don't judge yourself by his measure-said, implied, or assumed. You are the one with the power over yourself. You are the one who decides what you eat; whether you go for a walk or watch TV. You are the one who has to look at herself in the mirror, ask the question 'Is this what I want to be?'. You are the one who'll make the decision to change or not change.

Your boyfriend doesn't have this power. He can be a pathetic jerk or the most fantastic guy in the world but he can't make you change. He can encourage you or knock you down, but he doesn't have any power that you don't give to him.

Look at yourself, make the decision to change for the better. Keep your mind on that healthier, more confident you and work towards becoming that. You will fail some minutes, hours, days-it happens. But every minute base your actions from the view of who you want to be and you will make progress.

As you do this you might find out your boyfriend is supportive, happy that you are happy. Or you might find out he's a thoughtless jerk only interested when you fit in smaller size. More likely it's something in between-he can be supportive and happy you are getting hotter every day-it's only human nature.

You've got the power.

Okay, stepping off my soapbox before I launch into Triumph's 'Magic Power' lyics.

YamRector

Girl, it's time to let it go if it doesn't treat you right. I understand about being lonely and feeling like you need someone. But until you find that someone who loves you for the person you are and not the image you project to his friends, being single isn't all that bad. I did it for quite awhile before I found someone who makes me feel completely loved and totally sexy, no matter what that stupid scale says!

I agree...I was alone for 10 years between husbands, it was NOT easy but it was WAY MUCH BETTER than to stay with the wrong guy! You are not going to lose weight in an enviroment like that, and if you do, you will do it FOR HIM and you may get it back after a while...be strong, you are young, you are beautiful-- don't let ANYONE to play you!

YamRector

I'm doing a little bit of a different take on this just because of the whole mars/venus communication issues.

Has he actually said he's ashamed to take you out, or is that your interpretation? You say you feel ashamed, but you may be putting more darkness into his reactions than he actually has. There are a lot of jerks out there but not every guy is a jerk. A lot of them are just clueless about all the hashing and rehashing women do in their heads. That's not an insult to guys-sometimes their straightforward thinking is just what we need so we don't over-analyse things.

That said, don't judge yourself by his measure-said, implied, or assumed. You are the one with the power over yourself. You are the one who decides what you eat; whether you go for a walk or watch TV. You are the one who has to look at herself in the mirror, ask the question 'Is this what I want to be?'. You are the one who'll make the decision to change or not change.

Your boyfriend doesn't have this power. He can be a pathetic jerk or the most fantastic guy in the world but he can't make you change. He can encourage you or knock you down, but he doesn't have any power that you don't give to him.

Look at yourself, make the decision to change for the better. Keep your mind on that healthier, more confident you and work towards becoming that. You will fail some minutes, hours, days-it happens. But every minute base your actions from the view of who you want to be and you will make progress.

As you do this you might find out your boyfriend is supportive, happy that you are happy. Or you might find out he's a thoughtless jerk only interested when you fit in smaller size. More likely it's something in between-he can be supportive and happy you are getting hotter every day-it's only human nature.

You've got the power.

Okay, stepping off my soapbox before I launch into Triumph's 'Magic Power' lyics.

VERY WISE WORDS! agree with everything you said here!