UGH! Stressed and it's not helping with my weight lose!

DisneyAddictRW

I'm a mom of 3. My oldest is done at elementary school but I have one starting first grade mid August. (Plus my son starting in 2 yrs) My passion is volunteer work! I love it and it makes me feel good when I do it. I spent last year as a PTA president and it was an amazing year. We had lots of events (bingo, craft night, school assembly speakers, helped with expenses the school couldn't afford, etc...) We had an amazing fundraiser to help raise money for classroom supplies in April. The state of SD cut our budget for education by 6%. We lost over 25 teachers/aids. We also lost a lot of funding to help with supplies that help make our classrooms amazing! The funds we raised were suppose to be spent this fall for supplies since we got everything turned in the last couple weeks of school. During this time we had the secretary's husband freak out. We requested $500 to be donated to a campaign to help with an opt out to raise taxes to cover the money we lost from the state. To make a long story short we read into bi-laws and found out we couldn't do so. We didn't donate the money. During this process April-May this guy came to the 2 meetings and made our life hell! He was abusive and I walked out of the May meeting crying. I thought maybe we'd move past all this and start the new year off great. I'm 1st VP but due to email this guy has been sending we've lost 1 officer and now we're losing our president. I want to quit but I don't want to let him win. I can't take the stress and abusive talk he gives me. BUT I also don't want to lose what we've worked hard for at the school. Yes we have a large amount of money in our budget but it's b/c the supplies haven't been purchased yet. We went into summer break. He's now emailing other members behind the officers backs trying to say we're holding onto a lot of money and it needs to be spent. UGH! If he would have looked at the minutes he would see most of the money has been spoken for but until school starts we can't do anything with it.

Do I walk away and just not volunteer or do I stick it out with him so he doesn't get to run all over us?


The stress is eating away at me!

DisneyAddictRW

This is the letter I got from the president she plans to turn it in later this week........(I took his name out for personal reasons...)


It has come to my attention, after the fact, that our newly-elected Secretary D……., has sent an email out to the entire Beadle PTA on today's date, while intentionally excluding 2011-2012 President ……. and Vice President ……...

I feel it is only fair to expose the entire set of details which lead to the result of this letter, not to spread the drama, but rather to justify the actions I believe are in my best interest.

Speaking for myself, I can tell you that I have 100 % enjoyed all of the hard work put into, and rewards reaped from Beadle PTA the past several years I have been involved. I have thoroughly enjoyed getting to know the parents and teachers more, and also seeing the delight in the kids' eyes when they come to and participate in a PTA-sponsored event. A great sense of accomplishment comes out of hearing that a person's hard work made education a bit more effective and fun, or made someone smile when they were having a drab day. I have personally enjoyed my wacky email correspondence with all of you, that I certainly hope made the work a little less mundane, and was motivating as well.

Back to this spring... After a wildly successful year of activities, fun and fund raising, we were winding down for the year. …… and I became involved with the Yes for Kids campaign in an attempt to try to keep teachers and programming alive and well at our schools despite budget cuts. Because our fund raising did better than expected, I suggested, first in an email, then at a meeting, that Beadle PTA make a donation to Yes For Kids campaign. The idea was well-received by all but one attendee. She voiced concern that this would be siding with a political issue and not an appropriate way to spend PTA dollars. The issue, via email, was tabled on a Thursday I believe until more investigation could be done into the State PTA position on this issue. Our next PTA meeting would be the following Tuesday, and the issue was put on the agenda.

Along comes the next Tuesday when the 2010-2011 PTA Officers came under intense, verbally abusive, and patronizing fire by …….., who saw fit to come to at least one meeting this year, seemingly to ridicule all of us who worked hard to make our PTA active. Ridiculous accusations were thrown at us in a most abusive and degrading manner by ………. His accusations included, but were not limited to, the following:

 Beadle PTA made children into “fund raising foot soldiers”
 Beadle PTA is money-hungry, and is hoarding and stockpiling money
 Beadle PTA conducts business illegally by email
 Beadle PTA is not in compliance with the National PTA
 Beadle PTA Officers are ignorant to the mission statement of PTA

We all sat there, aghast that #1, someone would think this true, and #2 that a man who preaches the word of God would address anyone in such a nasty, hostile manner. The meeting was atrocious, unfair, and ugly.

Incidentally, during the interim, further probing by ……. into the do's and don'ts of a 501-C3 program clarified for us that in fact, 501-C3 funds could not be donated to another 501-C3 organization, so the board recanted the held-at abeyance decision to donate to the Yes For Kids campaign at that next meeting. This, however, did not satisfy …….., and he continued his witch-hunt trying to deface Beadle PTA.


He has contacted not only the State PTA President (on Easter weekend at her home no less), but also the National PTA (unfortunately for him, he didn't know we are not affiliated with the national organization, therefore do not have to fulfill their requirements) and other School PTAs asking for copies of their by-laws in attempts to further slander and deface us.

…….. came to the last meeting of the year, as did several other spouses eager to protect wives from more verbal abuse. Elections were held, and ……. was voted in as Secretary for this upcoming year. The thought of having to work with him all next school year churned my stomach, but I was committed to doing so because I believe in the goodness that comes out of Beadle PTA.

Earlier in July, J….. completed her last treasury duty for the 2010-2011 term and bid adieu via an email. She citing an earlier desire to remain active in Beadle PTA, but would not subject herself to more of …….’s abuse. D…… responded with a patronizing email that we should be embracing the diversity, not running from it. Our newly-elected Treasurer resigned within a week because she felt she could not work with D….. due to his continued verbal abusiveness.

D……, as Secretary, continues to undermine Beadle PTA. He told the local Modern Woodman's Chapter that they would be better suited to donate their monies to other schools because our PTA was stockpiling money. I swallowed hard, and just tucked that away thinking D…… would abandon his idiotic witch-hunt over the summer, and we could be on civil terms come this school year. With this latest email that he graciously “forgot” to include myself and …… on, it seems obvious that he is not willing to let us go about having a fun and productive school year, and somehow finds it in his Secretary job description to announce (by email) what we are and are not going to do this school-term as an organization.

It is with deep regret, and a deep pain in my heart, that I hereby resign as Beadle PTA President for the 2011-2012 term, and from PTA as a whole. I am a busy, single mother of three with a full time job outside of that and PTA. The last thing I have the time or energy for, is to be verbally abused at PTA meetings and behind my back while trying to continuously defend the spotless reputation of Beadle PTA against D……. idiocy. I was so looking forward to working with everyone again, and forward to refining some of the annual PTA-sponsored events to make it easier for future officers to take over.

Robbie32

3

Lleldiranne

Ugh, that stinks! You have to decide what is best for you, but keep in mind that the more people he forces out, the more he is able to continue his tyranny. It sounds like the PTA does need you. But, if it is going to affect your health (either physical or emotional), you need to think about that first.

One good way to deal with the stress is exercise. Stress causes your body to release cortisol and adrenaline. Besides affecting your heart and blood pressure, these hormones signal your body to hang on to fat in case you need the extra energy for later (fight or flight response kind of thing). Exercise causes the release of endorphins that work naturally to counteract the stress hormones, both making you feel better, and helping regulate your metabolism. So, whether you decide to stick with the PTA or not, get your body moving - go jogging, hop on the eliptical, jump in the pool, push some weights, do yoga, something, every day. Trust me, it can make a huge difference in how you come out of this!

ninerbuff

Sounds like the guy needs to feel he's in control. Blow it off. Votes in most PTA come down to majorities and if he's in the minority he'll always lose. If that happens he'll quit coming in. It's like the bully that needs a response or retaliation to be recognized. Ignore him and he'll quit.

mikey1976

i would go to the news papers and news stations and put it all out there because that's not right the rough handling of those who volunteer to help the kids and the school. to me he sounds jealous at how well you did and that his charity didn't fare so well which proves he an abusive loser who using his position for evil. and if he's smearing you pta names you can sue he for damages because that just not right to drag someones name through dirt. but yeah i would really the troops and get the media involved to show his emails just to get it out their other wise he wins and continues to do this to others

DESIREE1210

You need to stick it out. if you enjoy it, don't let this guy win. I would put ghim right in his place during the next meeting. call him out in front of everyone. Mr. ____ I would like you to adress your complaint to everyone, I will let you have your time, then if you don't mind, i would like to respond to your inquiry. When he complains about the $$$ in the account and he's done griping, then explain to him about the funds in front of everyone. I'm sure you have done this, but give him the floor, show him you have nothing to hide. Some people think volenteers get rich off of collecting money. Welcome him to run for the open positions, more than likely he wont he just wants to be a big mouth. By letting him control the meeting with his mouth etc, he gets the upper hand. I wold let him express himself, then shut him up with your explination. if he doesnt get it, i would clearly state that in front of everyone and make him feel like the fool. your doing a great thing being involved with your childrens education. Don't let this guy effect that.

boomboom011

Dont let him bully you out of there. If you all are doing what you are supposed to do then who cares. if for some reason the state wants to see records well then if you all arent "stock piling" or whatever you are being accused of the records will speak for themselves.

PTA is a nightmare! My sister has been physically ill because of dealing with PTA crap. I do my 1 fundraiser for the year and if my daughters teacher needs more supplies I am more than willing to donate actual supplies. The room mom gets money from me at the beginning of the year. Thats it. The less i have to deal with PTA stuff the better off I am. Its just unnecessary drama. Everyone loses focus on why they are there.

P.S. i dont mean everyone in PTA are like this, just in my experience.