Not-so-better-half won't join me :/

mmstgr

I was really hoping that hubby would jump right on the bandwagon with me when I joined this site.
Now, I haven't been here even 2 weeks yet, but he says he admires my determination in some of my choices at home with eating/exercise.
He is significantly more overweight for a man than I am for a woman, and it's hard to get him to go along with me.
We've worked out together before in the past. Joined gyms, changed eating patterns, and it all slipped away when I became pregnant for the second time.
I want this time 'round to be different for me, and I wish he would do the same.
How can I get him to join me without being mean and saying, "Hey, you're fat too"?
Help ??

Nerdy_Rose

Express honest and open concern about his health. Try not to sound accusatory. As a partner, we sometimes have to have these rough conversations.

javablondie

I want this time 'round to be different for me

Then make it be about you. Period. Just do it.

RaeannePemberton

i have battled this for over 2 years now. the best thing we can do is offer a good example of what is possible when you begin to eat well and move more. as you well know, we weren't ready for this until we decided that we were.... it's only fair if we allow our spouse the same.

QuestForFitness

My boyfriend just joined voluntarily. I talked it up so much and have the iphone app and was constantly logging all my food and exercise. He thought it was so cool that he decided to join too

aprylkemper

It could be that you need to be a shining example - let him see you succeeding without pressuring him into it too and he may just follow your lead. When you are inspiring, the people in your life who need to lose weight will often see that and ask for your help and start to change too. That's been my experience at least and that worked much better than telling them that they should do it. People have to make the decision for themselves before it truly sticks.

fridayjustleft04

Just do it for you. You can't make him change if he doesn't want to. Maybe when he sees how well you're doing, it'll inspire him. Just don't push it.

editara13

He has a responsibility too, to show a good example to your kids and yes, sometimes we have to be real to our loved ones and to tell them the truth that they don't want to hear, but if he has the extra pounds you should tell him and who better than your husband can support you. :-)


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TS65

People need to do it in their own time and in their own way. How would you have felt 2 months ago if he had started trying to lose weight and said "Hey, you're too fat, why don't you join me?" (ok, maybe not those exact words. :laugh: )

You can't change people and they can't change you. He'll do it if/when he's ready. Not before.

mmstgr

Thanks everyone.
I think I will wait for him to see how well this will work for me, and give him the chance to want to do it too before I say anything

trelm249

As a husband, father, and man, live out the example for him. Cook for the household as you need to eat (i.e. clean and lean). Stick to your P.T. schedule to hit your goals.

It will have an influence on him. Talk about your goals that you are trying to hit (i.e. going hiking and canoeing with the kids, the mountain biking vacation in Colorado with the kids, etc.). It shouldn't be about vanity but functionality. That makes the changes practical and meaningful. He will hear it and it should convict him in time.

kmihalik

This is something you decided to do for yourself. You have to be selfish. If you do the food shopping, only buy what you can eat, only cook what you can eat, etc. Losing weight and getting healthy is a very selfish act, treat it as such. Your husband will see results for himself just by eating better and once he does, he'll want to keep going. If he doesn't want to eat what you do, he can do his own shopping and cooking.

mmstgr

I just wanted to let you all know that hubby decided to join!! I sent him a friend request to sign up a few days ago... and he took it! YAY!!
I hope we can do this together

Shishkeberry

My DF doesn't want to do this with me either. But since I do the cooking and shopping he has lost about ten pounds since May just by the changes that I have made to our dinners. Also I don't drink sugary teas anymore so he doesn't either.

trelm249

glad to hear he's on board. Cheer each other on.

heather3879

I have told my husband that we are going to try at least one new recipe each week that he has to attempt, veggies and all! He has agreed to this. For him, the food is the big issue...he has been working out with me, no problem. Hopefully I can help him with his diet little by little.