Have you been called "sick" when you count calories?

carogza

Hi everyone!! I have been using MFP for about a month now, and I love it!!
I discovered I was living in a lie. Ever since I got married (3 years ago), i was wondering why me and my husband weren´t loosing weight, & in fact we were gaining some. i was analyzing my food, everything I buy is either whole grain, light, low fat, sugar free, etc...
We do not buy any cookies, or cakes or anything. We eat them out of home, but in our pantry you can find healthy food...

Anyways, on february i started a new program excercise (I´ve practicing Krav Maga but it wasn´t enough) and until now, I´ve only lost like 5 kg (10 lbs) which really depressed me and confused me since I´ve been working hard (Im 5´2" and 132 lbs)

So i started using MFP. Even before using it, I was having a very hard time with my family and friends cause they tell me all the time that I exercise too much (I don´t! less than an hour in the am and then my Krav Maga at night).
Now that I´m counting calories (using MFP) they all see me as if I was sick, in fact I´ve been called that sometimes, because I check the nutrition facts or if I mention that I made light protein muffins.

i really feel angry (and sad, and frustrated) when they tell me that...Im not anorexic, nor bulimic, I´m not even skinny! I don´t skip meals, i LOOOOVE food, i´m just watching my calorie intake since i´ve been working so hard (and I´m going to the beach in a week )

And sometimes I think, "well maybe i´m getting sick, the first step is to deny it so..." but then I think that if i take any of my friends to the doctor´s office and have cholesterol and sugar tests, I´m 100% sure I´ll get much better results than them (and I know cause two of my skinny friends were detected with high-cholesterol and sugar, and we are in our 30´s! while I got pretty nice results from the lab)

Now that i´ve been following a healthy lifestyle almost 100% for some months now, I see things with a different perspective. I live in México, 1ºst place on children´s obesity and soon-to-be the 1ºst place on adult obesity as well.

It´s a country where people say you are sick if you don´t have a dessert, or if you order a salad in a restaurant, or if you don´t eat fatty foods in a party...My friends always tell me "Caro, with all the exercise you do, you should eat at least a piece of cake".
I do not need to explain the look on their faces when they served me a turtle-pie piece (even though i said "no") put it in front of my and I didn´t even touch it. They are constantly pushing me to eat things I dont want (well, i do want them, i loooove cakes!).

Have you felt the same? Do you feel isolated from your family and friends for choosing a healthier lifestyle? Any tips?

Bramsey89

People trying to justify their bad habits.

It's that simple. Sorry for bluntness

pantoine

I think whenever you embark upon some self-improvement program there are going to be people in your life, whether family or friends, who will feel challenged by your actions despite you never intending to make them feel that way! The old saying of "actions speak louder than words" is truly felt by most people, so while they'll let you tell them about being on a diet, they can feel very challenged when you act it out in front of them.

I get this with my sister all the time: her taking my actions for myself as a form of judgement against her. And I agree, the result can be very isolating in some respects.

But for me the big issue is this: you and I and all the other MFP'ers are doing this for OURSELVES... it's NOT about other people at all. It's about what's best for us. I see this not as a diet but as a way of eating going forward. I can imagine always using MFP to keep me on the straight and narrow (and lean!) and I see you doing the same.

I'm sure your instincts are saying this is the right way for you to live... and I'd go with that instinct. I'm sure you're not rubbing it in people's faces, but my decision has been generally to be fairly quiet about what I'm doing with all except those who are supportive. I just quietly assess the menu choices and make them based on how I'm going with the calorie count that day, and have a tendency to fill in the food journal at home rather than on-the-go.

Anyway, not sure if this helps, but sick to your guns and manage you health actively... 'cause no one else will do it for you!

P.

Quarantined

Oh yeah, I know exactly how this feels. Whenever I eat healthily and become actively conscious of the nutritional content of the foods I'm eating my friends and family immediately attempt to sabotage me. I'm not sure whether they do it deliberately or if it's sub-conscious, but I know WHY they do it. It's to make themselves feel better about their own weight and health situations.
It's sad that it comes down to that, but you just need to try and ignore it. Being conscious of your body and the things you need to do and eat to keep it in perfect working order is NOT a sickness. I get told I'm unhealthy because I enjoy eating salad and tuna for lunch and going to the gym - and I'm still a massive chubster!
People get ridiculous sometimes. Try not to stress over it!

6heatherb6

I think whenever you embark upon some self-improvement program there are going to be people in your life, whether family or friends, who will feel challenged by your actions despite you never intending to make them feel that way! The old saying of "actions speak louder than words" is truly felt by most people, so while they'll let you tell them about being on a diet, they can feel very challenged when you act it out in front of them.

I get this with my sister all the time: her taking my actions for myself as a form of judgement against her. And I agree, the result can be very isolating in some respects.

But for me the big issue is this: you and I and all the other MFP'ers are doing this for OURSELVES... it's NOT about other people at all. It's about what's best for us. I see this not as a diet but as a way of eating going forward. I can imagine always using MFP to keep me on the straight and narrow (and lean!) and I see you doing the same.

I'm sure your instincts are saying this is the right way for you to live... and I'd go with that instinct. I'm sure you're not rubbing it in people's faces, but my decision has been generally to be fairly quiet about what I'm doing with all except those who are supportive. I just quietly assess the menu choices and make them based on how I'm going with the calorie count that day, and have a tendency to fill in the food journal at home rather than on-the-go.

Anyway, not sure if this helps, but sick to your guns and manage you health actively... 'cause no one else will do it for you!

P.

Ditto!!!

krysydawn

Maybe you should reply with "Sick? Nope. Doing this so that I wont be sick." Then spit out some random piece of info like "Did you know that people who do upper body work outs while they are young, are less likely to die from different types of respiratory failure when they are old and laying in bed all the time!?" And then just watch their faces like "DUH!" lol.

I actually just recently learned that about the upper body work outs. lol

Sorry I'm not much more help. My family and friends are super supportive. But I can say that my husband didnt use to be very supportive with it. Until I really made changes.. I think sometimes people are just jealous and want to justify their own behavior. Don't let them get you down. YOU know why you are doing it. And hey, you've got us.

missy_1975

It's kinda common for people around us to call us weird or sick or whatever when we begin to change our behaviours, simply because it highlights their own behaviours. By you choosing healthy foods and exercising you put the fact that they don't follow a healthy lifestlyle right in their face. If everyone you hang out with eats a certain way and doesn't exercise then that's the norm. If you then don't behave that way then they have to face the fact that what they are doing may not be the best or only option. Dare to be different!

Ultimately it's their problem and not yours. Stick at it, you'll be the one with the healthy, functioning, ace looking body, while they will have to deal with the consequences of their lifestyle choices. Good luck! :drinker:

aigam

You should not care about it. Since I've started with MFP I purchased two kitchen scales to verify precise weight of every component of my food and I make the updates on my Android after every meal - at home and at work. It became a sort of ritual.

At the beginning people were surprised but instead of muddle explanations "why", I've been involving them into discussion "how" sharing with them my observations and decisions regarding menu and discipline.

Now, after almost 3 months all people around used to it, they take my food-control as granted and nobody asks silly questions. Especially that the difference is visible at first sight, I look better and feel better than 3 months ago. People even comes to me and ask how I managed to make such great improvement, what is particulary nice and stimulating.

My advice - be natural and consequent in what you are doing. Even if you have the impression that people look at you as some kind of weirdo it will change when they will see your progress.

Cheers, M

amyllu

I think you are being very sensible and it's a pity that there are not more people like you.
I can see that it must be difficult when the general attitude towards being healthy and "slim" seems so alien but fair play to you for sticking with it. Just remember, it doesn't matter what we do there is always someone who is going to stick their nose an and be awkward and have some argument or other about it ... ignore them!

Sounds like you are doing great!

goron59

Maybe just point some of them at this post? You describe the situation very well. I'm not sure they need to see some of the harsher comments though - that's unlikely to be helpful.

carogza

Thank you! I will!

I would understand if I was rubbing my efforts in their faces, or pointing their mistakes out, but I don´t! I just make my own decisions, try to eat healthy and exercise...but I guess watching me doing it makes them feel guilty about their choices..who knows..

carogza

Oh yeah, I know exactly how this feels. Whenever I eat healthily and become actively conscious of the nutritional content of the foods I'm eating my friends and family immediately attempt to sabotage me. I'm not sure whether they do it deliberately or if it's sub-conscious, but I know WHY they do it. It's to make themselves feel better about their own weight and health situations.
It's sad that it comes down to that, but you just need to try and ignore it. Being conscious of your body and the things you need to do and eat to keep it in perfect working order is NOT a sickness. I get told I'm unhealthy because I enjoy eating salad and tuna for lunch and going to the gym - and I'm still a massive chubster!
People get ridiculous sometimes. Try not to stress over it!

sabotage is the word!! I have a cousin a little overweight and she was telling me that she noticed how our own friends are the first ones to try to sabotage our efforts. Whenever you start loosing weight they´ll start saying "you better stop now", " you look so thin (in a bad way)", "you look sick (or yellow, or insert any other color here)" etc etc.

By the way, you profile pic is gorgeous!! you look like a pin up girl!!!

carogza

Thank you all for your advice and support!! It´s great to be part of a great community like this and share our experiences and motivate ourselves.

As for me, I´ll continue with this healthy lifestyle which I´m truly loving, to prove MYSELF and anyone else what I can do.

"Discipline is making the choice between what you want now and what you want most." -- Anonymous


Cheers from México!!