Monday's Excuses

noexcuses1218

So let's see what the Whiner's *****ing about today...

"Woe is me," she says, "I'm so tired!"

Sergeant GetOffYourAss says, "You should have gone to bed earlier instead of staying up and watching Torchwood, you freaking couch potato."

"Woe is me," the Whiner continues, "the Nike Training Club is SO hard, and besides, how can I do it without bothering my poor kitty cat who just had surgery last Friday?"

Sergeant GOYA says: "Your kitty is probably in better shape than you are, even missing a toe and part of his tail. He's beyond the point of needing your presence on the couch every second you're home. Don't flatter yourself; he's still a cat. Put him in the bedroom if you really think he needs peace and quiet. Then get your iPod, turn up the volume, and sweat yourself into a quivering puddle. It builds character."

But the Whiner is still at it. "Woe is me," she says, "I have so much laundry to do!"

Sergeant GOYA says: "You dumbass. Put a load of towels together and let your husband deal with it. He LIKES doing towels, remember?"

The Whiner says, "Woe is me! I have to spend some quality time with my daughter!"

Sergeant GOYA says: "Your daughter thinks the best way to spend summertime evenings is outside throwing a ball around. Every time you work out as soon as you get home, you have energy to spare. Every time you don't, you're useless the rest of the evening. And speaking of useless, quit whining, stay out of the freaking ice cream, and get sweaty and sore tonight. Some people can lose weight without working out. You are NOT one of them. Your husband supports you, your daughter supports you, and you have...

NO EXCUSES."

BifDiehl

Honest to God I love your sense of humor! Soooo glad you're my friend! :bigsmile:

Monica_has_a_goal

LOVE IT!! Send Sgt GOYA to my house.. i need a swift kick every now and then :laugh:

But touch my TORCHWOOD and the kitty dies.. grrrr... ...Just kidding!! :laugh:

withchaco

Maybe the whiner can get some exercise by spelling out their complaints in flag semaphore; replace flags with weights! :laugh:

noexcuses1218

Awwww, Bif, you're SO sweet! Ditto to that!