Going Vegetrian withmy 10 yr old daughter - need Advice

ladyj802

well - the most unexpected thing - my 10 year old wants to explore a vegetarian lifestyle. I am 100% behind her and am going to try it with her. what a great bonding experience. - however - i need a few supporters and advice on how to handle her not so supportive father. we have joint custody of our two children and he is turning his nose up at her interest and even makes her feel bad for wanting to try something new - saying things like - "God created animals for us to eat" and "There aren't famous vegetarian soccer players or athletes" and when she expressed her concern about all the antibiotics, hormones, and preservatives his response was -- " God made man, so they could make antibiotics and hormones for animals and us" - "you need meat" - then on to say - "you can do whatever you want, but you won't get strong unless you eat meat."

Ugh - he is so ignorant. Any suggestions on his condescending opinions?

dayzeerock

First off, your child's father sounds like he has no research behind his thoughts, so don't listen to him. Secondly, that is awesome! And there are plenty of vegan and vegetarian athletes out there...Robert Cheeke, Brendan Brazier, and so many more. My thought would be to just show him up through your positive changes...when he sees that, yes, your daughter is still developing properly and is still growing into a healthy and strong person without the use of meat, maybe he'll change his thoughts. I did the exact same thing when I was 10...I went vegetarian. I'm vegan now and had a father who, the entire time, ripped my mom to shreds for allowing me to not eat meat. It turns out, my doctors say my diet has saved my life, as I have a few illnesses that should have completely debilitated me by now, but I'm still going strong. Check out thekindlife.com and their forums, as there are lots of vegan and vegetarian moms on there as well...and good luck!

dayzeerock

editing out my double post.

kater8er

I'd have a talk with him when your daughter isn't around, and present him with facts and figures about vegetarian lifestyles, antibiotics/hormones in animals, etc....Facts so he can't refute them. and how it won't hurt your daughter if done properly. Then say to him that you'd appreciate it if he would not be a jerk, and that not having her parents on the same page with her lifestyle could lead to a ton of self esteem and body image issues later in life. It would be one thing if your daughter wanted to do something unhealthy, but vegetarianism isn't and he needs to cut the crap and act like an adult and not a bully.

kater8er

double post...

2youngatheart

bump:flowerforyou:

HSmamato4

So interested in this discussion as my 8 (almost 9) year old as well is wanting to become a vegetarian. I personally have no desire to do so as well but I do want to respect her and be sure she is still taking in adequate protein levels and is a little more responsible for her own food (in terms of her being sure she is getting what she needs). We already eat locally raised, organic, grass-fed-all of that, so that isn't the issue. She just has such a heart and compassion for animals, always has and now she's getting to point in her thought processes that it's not sitting right with her anymore. It's as good a reason as any to me.

DECAFLiving

Alternatively explain to your daughter that people believe diff things. Some think its ok to eat meat and some people dont. It's probably easier to talk to her than her father. My family is veggie and my son and daughter have been brought up pescatarian (eat fish - I dont) he can never under stand why people eat meat and i just say that some people are different and just dont get that being veggie is healthier! He's a footie star in the making and runs around all day long fit and stong and smart! Good Luck it's not easy but its great healthwise!

Grimmerick

Have it okayed with her doctor, and then let him know you did this and if it's something she wants to try she has every right to being that it is a healthy lifestyle, if he wants to be a good dad then he needs to play along and show her he cares about her by being supportive. Tell him what you are doing to be supportive. Then have her tell him how important this is to her and have her ask him why he feels it necessary to be so against something the doctor said is healthy and perfectly fine to do.

vim_n_vigor

I'd have a talk with him when your daughter isn't around, and present him with facts and figures about vegetarian lifestyles, antibiotics/hormones in animals, etc....Facts so he can't refute them. and how it won't hurt your daughter if done properly. Then say to him that you'd appreciate it if he would not be a jerk, and that not having her parents on the same page with her lifestyle could lead to a ton of self esteem and body image issues later in life. It would be one thing if your daughter wanted to do something unhealthy, but vegetarianism isn't and he needs to cut the crap and act like an adult and not a bully.

I know someone just like him, and talking won't do any good. He will refute even with no basis.

I would suggest getting a nutritionist involved, if possible, especially given the age of your daughter to ensure that she really understands how much she will need to put into making sure that she gets what she needs, and to ensure she really knows what items are vegetarian and what aren't. Will she eat broth - many are chicken and beef based, but will she allow them in her diet? What kind of vegetarian? Are milk and cheese ok? The answers to those types of questions will change her options to keep a healthy diet.

mistyb47711

I agree with the above posts......and....maybe contact a Nutrtionist and see if they have a free consultation....maybe he will listen to a professional better then you guys?? I know how ex's can be and just dont want to believe you and her are correct.

fbmandy55

My cousin went veggie at age 10, she is now 20 and has not eaten meat in 10 years. She is the only one in her family but it seems to work well with them. If you want to do it as well, then good for you. If you decide to eat meat again, I'm sure she will do great on her own with your support..

kltnr57

Definitely do your homework on food combining to make sure she's getting the complete proteins she needs for those developing brains. And if you arm her with the knowledge she needs, she will be able to refute her father's negativity, too. Best of luck!! You're doing a fantastic thing by supporting her in this lifestye choice.

littlemili

So long as you replace meat (and fish?) with other proteins, and ensure that you're both getting enough iron, it's fine. Do be VERY careful on iron because as a 10 year old girl nearing puberty getting anemia is easily done. I know, I got it myself by going veggie at age 12. Also be careful not to go down the unhealthy veggie route which is oh so easy, where foods like white carbs and cheese dominate your diet. I did this too. Not good. Check out meat substitute products like Quorn (GM free of course) and tofu, there are also supermarket own-brands of these around and they are a good healthy alternative to meat and make meals more substantial and "normal".

This sounds like a great bonding opportunity, you can explore new foods together and pass on your cooking and healthy eating knowledge to her. She's lucky to have the support from you because many kids wouldn't be able to count on either parent for help and encouragement. I hope her dad realises eventually that if your daughter is mature enough to make decisions like this by herself, he should at least be happy that she is intelligent enough to have interest and understanding of such things at a young age.

dayzeerock

...and to add to my previous post...

I was a state champion gymnast in high school while not eating meat. So he can take his "vegetarians aren't strong" comment and shove it somewhere very uncomfortable.

Timeforme714

I have been a vegetarian for 12 years - since I was 19. I have faced some criticism because of my choice. Feel free to add me as a friend. I'd be more than happy to answer any questions you have. Her father may just not understand her reasons. He may worry this is an unhealthy choice for her. My mom has always worried that I can't get the proper nutrition without eating meat. The truth is you can and you can still have plenty of variety of food choices too.

SeasideOasis

I would have shot something back like "God made idiots too".

Guess this isnt the most "adult" thing, but nothing makes me more angry than the "God" argument. God also gave us free will, so he needs to shove his horrible and feeble attempts at reasoning up his....bum.

Honestly, people like your ex (from the sounds of the description) cannot have their minds changed. They thing what they think and there isn't much you can do about it. Give your daughter the right tools, however, to make good decisions and know how to deal with her fathers less than fantastic comments.

_Sally_

A couple of thoughts for your consideration:

1) I would recommend that you focus your reading, research, meal planning, and other conversations with your daughter (and ex) on nutrition and health. I would leave the morals out of it, since that will definitely lead to arguments. It is a lot easier to show that she can get the proper level of protein and other nutrients from a plant-based diet than to debate whether eating animals is "right" or "wrong". I don't believe vegetarianism should a dogmatic religion.

2) I would recommend that the focus for you and your daughter should be in ADDING vegetarian food to your diets and not worry about excluding foods from your diet for a couple of reasons:

a) this is easier to do and makes for a much more successful transition. Abrupt 100% transitions rarely work for anyone and until you educate yourself on how to best get your nutrition from a vegetarian diet, it doesn't make sense and you'll end up eating a lot of junk. For example just because french fries are vegetarian doesn't mean you should eat them.

b) the more vegetarian food you eat, the less room you will have for meats, etc., so the transition happens more naturally

c) your daughter won't get a bad emotion about meats, etc. or think it is "wrong" to eat them, especially because she is likely going to be served these items when she is with her father. you don't want to inflame conflict on that front. Vegetarian should be her preference, but at the beginning, until your ex is more supportive, she will likely still be eating some meat and she will over time eat less of it.

Feel free to add me as an MFP friend and look at my diary or message me for meal ideas.

*** Note - I may be going out on a limb here, but I also wanted to suggest maybe looking into family counseling with your ex (and daughter, if appropriate). Sounds like this has less to do about food than it has to do about anger management, fear and control. ***

In the end, I think it this will be a wonderful journey for you and your daughter!