August Goal-To be my own friend!

AmyNVegas

I saw my doctor Friday and I was finally under 300 on his scale and at 297 this is the lowest weight on record for me since the 4th grade!:drinker: So usually he gives me a weight goal for each month but this month is something different. His goal for me was to really work on not criticizing myself and to stop being my own worse enemy he wants me to make friends with myself. So I could use some help with this. I am so hard on myself I know but to stop is not easy. I keep thinking that weight is the only thing I have ever failed at in my life even though the sensible me and everyone around me tells me I haven't failed it is just a work in progress, I know I have never reached goal in my life. I am working on making myself think in positives- I have accomplished a lot along the way and I have not given up. I have started keeping up with NSV's and giving a positive for any negative. Any suggestions for helping me become my own friend would be greatly appreciated. I am in a weight support group and that was my goal this week to to work on acknowledgement without judgement so recognizing things I think or do and acknowledging them but not putting any blame or judgment on them. This is not easy-old habits die HARD! So suggestions???
THANKS!:flowerforyou:

IsMollyReallyHungry

No real suggestions my friend because I know you have heard them all and are doing it. It is just a matter of being persistent at it until you can manage it. I can't say you will ever master it but you can defintily manage negative self talk. Being mindful of it is the 1st step. Just keep practicing it and it will become a habit and before you know it you will not be as hard on yourself.

Sometimes I think now that I am too positive now and not hard enough on myself. But I am not reverting back to negative thoughts because I know that got me no where over the years. No matter how it is going I find something positive to focus on. I do not ignore my negative progress but on the other hand I do not beat myself anymore when not perfect or not doing well as I should be. How did I do this? A lot of practice and it was not easy but I did not give up either. So just keep practicing being positive and finding a bright spot in every situation in life. You can do it. Success is never giving up! :flowerforyou:

prettybrownround

U hv lost 238lbs....that is most definitely something to be proud of. That is an outstanding accomplishment and is truly something to hold ur head up about. That takes dedication, commitment, willpower, strength, focus, determination, all characteristics anyone would be honored to possess.

Monica_has_a_goal

*Stands and Applauds YOU!*

You have done so well .... AMAZINGLY well! Congrats and keep up the wonderful work!

I had a negative image of myself too.. even getting married at 5'4'' and 130 pounds I had a negative image of my own body weight. Now I long to be that size again...

All I can suggest is to be here, on MFP, where everyone helps encourage others, because now I encourage Everyone and feel better about myself too. If they even lose .01 pounds it makes me so proud of my friends, then I look at myself and say, " you have lost that too, and you beat yourself up over it, You can cheer for yourself and feel good about every pound and ounce YOU lose too."

It's helped me to see we all struggle and we all succeed here "with a little help from (our) my friends." :happy:

prettybrownround

U hv lost 238lbs....that is most definitely something to be proud of. That is an outstanding accomplishment and is truly something to hold ur head up about. That takes dedication, commitment, willpower, strength, focus, determination, all characteristics anyone would be honored to possess.

Monica_has_a_goal

*Stands and Applauds YOU!*

You have done so well .... AMAZINGLY well! Congrats and keep up the wonderful work!

I had a negative image of myself too.. even getting married at 5'4'' and 130 pounds I had a negative image of my own body weight. Now I long to be that size again...

All I can suggest is to be here, on MFP, where everyone helps encourage others, because now I encourage Everyone and feel better about myself too. If they even lose .01 pounds it makes me so proud of my friends, then I look at myself and say, " you have lost that too, and you beat yourself up over it, You can cheer for yourself and feel good about every pound and ounce YOU lose too."

It's helped me to see we all struggle and we all succeed here "with a little help from (our) my friends." :happy:

Monica_has_a_goal

*Stands and Applauds YOU!*

You have done so well .... AMAZINGLY well! Congrats and keep up the wonderful work!

I had a negative image of myself too.. even getting married at 5'4'' and 130 pounds I had a negative image of my own body weight. Now I long to be that size again...

All I can suggest is to be here, on MFP, where everyone helps encourage others, because now I encourage Everyone and feel better about myself too. If they even lose .01 pounds it makes me so proud of my friends, then I look at myself and say, " you have lost that too, and you beat yourself up over it, You can cheer for yourself and feel good about every pound and ounce YOU lose too."

It's helped me to see we all struggle and we all succeed here "with a little help from (our) my friends." :happy:

Monica_has_a_goal

*Stands and Applauds YOU!*

You have done so well .... AMAZINGLY well! Congrats and keep up the wonderful work!

I had a negative image of myself too.. even getting married at 5'4'' and 130 pounds I had a negative image of my own body weight. Now I long to be that size again...

All I can suggest is to be here, on MFP, where everyone helps encourage others, because now I encourage Everyone and feel better about myself too. If they even lose .01 pounds it makes me so proud of my friends, then I look at myself and say, " you have lost that too, and you beat yourself up over it, You can cheer for yourself and feel good about every pound and ounce YOU lose too."

It's helped me to see we all struggle and we all succeed here "with a little help from (our) my friends." :happy:

Monica_has_a_goal

*Stands and Applauds YOU!*

You have done so well .... AMAZINGLY well! Congrats and keep up the wonderful work!

I had a negative image of myself too.. even getting married at 5'4'' and 130 pounds I had a negative image of my own body weight. Now I long to be that size again...

All I can suggest is to be here, on MFP, where everyone helps encourage others, because now I encourage Everyone and feel better about myself too. If they even lose .01 pounds it makes me so proud of my friends, then I look at myself and say, " you have lost that too, and you beat yourself up over it, You can cheer for yourself and feel good about every pound and ounce YOU lose too."

It's helped me to see we all struggle and we all succeed here "with a little help from (our) my friends." :happy:

Monica_has_a_goal

sorry computer went nuts

sweetness48

First off, your stats are AMAZING! You have accomplished SO MUCH! I understand you on the whole self-negativity. I struggle with that myself. I have for years. I can't say I have any truly inspirational tips but sometimes it helps to write down all the negative things you think about yourself and rip or burn that paper to pieces. lol. I sometimes have to take a step back and be a little narcissistic. I AM WORTH IT! And so are you! Keep up the AMAZING work!!

AmyNVegas

Thanks for the responses!:flowerforyou: I think it is hard to convince ourselves of the very things we tell others. I have no problem cheering others on or helping them through rough spots, I just need to give myself the same pep talks and believe them.:bigsmile:

shar140

I saw my doctor Friday and I was finally under 300 on his scale and at 297 this is the lowest weight on record for me since the 4th grade!:drinker: So usually he gives me a weight goal for each month but this month is something different. His goal for me was to really work on not criticizing myself and to stop being my own worse enemy he wants me to make friends with myself. So I could use some help with this. I am so hard on myself I know but to stop is not easy. I keep thinking that weight is the only thing I have ever failed at in my life even though the sensible me and everyone around me tells me I haven't failed it is just a work in progress, I know I have never reached goal in my life. I am working on making myself think in positives- I have accomplished a lot along the way and I have not given up. I have started keeping up with NSV's and giving a positive for any negative. Any suggestions for helping me become my own friend would be greatly appreciated. I am in a weight support group and that was my goal this week to to work on acknowledgement without judgement so recognizing things I think or do and acknowledging them but not putting any blame or judgment on them. This is not easy-old habits die HARD! So suggestions???
THANKS!:flowerforyou:

Amy, you have NOT failed - anyone who has lost 238lb hasn't!! :flowerforyou:

A couple of my friends from college (they were roommates) used to have a tradition every night, before they went to bed they had to name at least 1 good thing about that day or happened that day. Maybe you could try writing them down, or posting something positive like that?? Can't hurt to try, right?

pickadilly2009

Amy,

I don't know if this will help or not but it is what I experienced. Part of why I am over weight is because I was so busy nurturing everyone else around me, that I lost myself. Someone asked me what my hobbies were and I honestly could not answer that question. I knew what everyone in my family liked and did...but not me.

So as part of my weightloss journey I started taking note of what I liked and didn't like. Sounds silly I know but it was a profound wakeup call for me.

I found out I don't like my house decorated with a bunch of flowers. I don't like a bunch of nic nacks all over because I hate dusting. I live in the country but I can't stand country decor. So now my house in the country is decorated like a city loft and I love it! It makes me happy and I feel a little more like 'me'.

So maybe it isn't so much to stop the negative thinking as it is to give yourself permission to be 'you' and feel however you want? To actually become 'you' and stop trying to live up to anyone elses thoughts, feelings or expectations of you.

After I started living the way I wanted and doing the things I liked, I stopped looking at myself in a negative manner. I am a unique individual and I think I am pretty darn cool....even if my kids don't! lol

jamk1446

I read a couple of your posts on the Paleo part 5 thread, I like the sound of your doctor, he's a keeper!

I struggle with being my own worst enemy too. I've seen a counselor, read a lot of books, all of it helps but it takes time. I have been working on really listening to when someone gives me a compliment. I don't take them well, deflect them, make excuses why it's not true. My counselor suggested maybe others see me more clearly than I see myself. So, I try to really take in the compliment and accept that I am worthy of receiving it. And when I get feeling really bad, or incompetent, or whatever I take a mental step back and remind myself of at least 3 things that I did (or do) right or well. This has been a helpful exercise for me as well. Just like I had a lifetime of eating habits to change, I have a lifetime of emotional responses to change too. Good for you for accepting this challenge for yourself.

AmyNVegas

Thanks for the suggestions these are great!

Jam I know what you mean about the compliments I have a hard time just accepting the praise and I need to work on internalizing it, too.

Shar- I like the writing good things down at the end of the day. Maybe we can make it a thread on here and all can list their good thing they did for themselves.

Pickadilly I am working on the Me thing. I have only my sister to take care of we share a house and she is the baby so I tend to take care of her but I think I do a lot of things because I want to please people and not because I really just want to do them. I need to work on that I think.

Thanks!:flowerforyou:

pickadilly2009

Pickadilly I am working on the Me thing. I have only my sister to take care of we share a house and she is the baby so I tend to take care of her but I think I do a lot of things because I want to please people and not because I really just want to do them. I need to work on that I think.

Thanks!:flowerforyou:

Amy,

Excatly! Some of us are people pleasers and it consumes us! Remember to please yourself too! You wont be able to take care of anyone if you don't take care of you first! Just like the "put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on your kids' speech on an airplane! You deserve to take care of you too!!!