How to reset my mind

sugarlovebug

How is it that I am down 21lbs and weigh 178.8lbs but I still see myself as the 200lb fat girl? How do I get past the mindset that I am not that same girl? I still find myself disgusting and an eyesore on socity. Will my perspective change once I get to my goal weight or is there something I need to do to get there mind wise? I want so badly to be pretty again in my mind, or will I forever see myself as that 200lb fat girl?

ninerbuff

How is it that I am down 21lbs and weigh 178.8lbs but I still see myself as the 200lb fat girl? How do I get past the mindset that I am not that same girl? I still find myself disgusting and an eyesore on socity. Will my perspective change once I get to my goal weight or is there something I need to do to get there mind wise? I want so badly to be pretty again in my mind, or will I forever see myself as that 200lb fat girl?

Hmmm, your issue isn't weight, but self esteem. If you do get to goal, you may very well see yourself still as a person unworthy of being deemed as "pretty". Sounds like something you need to see a professional about.

stangma

Oh honey - you are an amazing person. Start there & pump yourself up. Think of all the awesome things you are doing to better your life. Look in the mirror each & every day (or hour - if needed) and tell that gal how wonderful she is. Be grateful for your health, your mind, your little toe - whateever you can come up with. Make this a fabulous day.

sarah829522

Congrats on losing 19 lbs. My trainer tells me that the biggest thing I have to battle will be my mind. You MUST stay positive. I started a daily journal. I write down what I'm grateful for, what brought joy to my life and what I appreciate about myself. It's changed my whole outlook. Of course you can track the negative feelings as well to get yourself unstuck and try to manage those. I don't like to dwell on those so I don't let them come into my positivity journal. But to each his own.

Be proud of yourself for all the work you've done. If you haven't already, take pictures of yourself and use those as your starting point. Go look at your weight progress on here. Go back and look at your food journal from a few months or weeks ago - I bet you'll start to see improvements and changes in what you've done in terms of workouts and food choices. Those are great changes you've made for yourself that are so far beyond how you look.

cardbucfan

It takes time. If it's really bad maybe you do need to see somebody but I like stangma's idea of positive affirmations. When you start to think negative thoughts, remind yourself of how far you have come and YOU are the one that did it. Can you do something physical now that you couldn't before your weight loss? I can do boy push-ups now. Not many and they aren't perfect but I can do them. Tell yourself how amazing your body is and what it can do for you. You can walk up stairs-not everybody can. Find that one attribute that you have always liked about yourself. You know you have at least one! Maybe it's that you have an awesome eye color. Compliment that! I still find myself listening to weight loss commercials/exercise gadgets and thinking "oh, I should try/get that!" then I remember I've lost 20 lbs. and am in maintenance and don't really need to lose anymore weight! It truly takes time for that re-set to kick in so don't give up!

AlsDonkBoxSquat

Oh, love, I'm sorry you're struggling so much. You're silly brain just needs to catch up, are you taking your pictures? Find a full legth of yourself from before you started losing and suit up in the same outfit and take one now. You're doing awesome, you're as addicted as I am (it's worse than babycenter, but better for you). You've lost an impressive amount of weight, and have been supremely dedicated. I don't know how to flip the switch, except to look at before and after comparisons to help you really see yourself.

auntiebabs

I find there is always a lag, between my body and my body image in my brain.

It happened the 1st time I lost weight. - I thought of myself as the fat girl even after I got down to 125 lbs. (my lowest weight ever in H.S @ 5'5"... torture to maintain)

It happened when I put on weight - After I put on 50 lbs, took me a while to realize that my wardrobe really should be modified, what was once muscle toned by karate, had become jiggly bits that no one really needs (or wants) to see.

So, I've lost 26 lbs and it's nice to be able to move more easily and not think of anything physical as a chore. But still I pretty much feel like I look the same. Despite lots of praise from others.

It's the confidence that's attractive and for that you've got to believe in yourself. Something I still struggle with

I do have more confidence since I've dropped some weight, but I don't think that there is a magic number that make me magically universally desirable. I think I still have some work to do.

murraylu

Sometimes the messages we get from the world can be cruel, but even crueler are the negative messages we send to ourselves. If you can find a way to celebrate your success (down 21 lbs. so far) and give yourself congratulatory messages regularly, you will begin to change your thoughts. After all, at 178 lbs., you probably still don't look like Kate Middleton (the most prominent thin woman in the news these days) so when you look in the mirror, you don't yet see this public image of beauty. By not seeing that, your mind is still using the word "fat" as a description. So, let's break it down - after having lost 21 lbs., your face must certainly look thinner. Compare yourself now to an older photo so that you can see the difference and congratulate yourself on the improvement. Check your new clothing size...smaller than the old one, yes? If you haven't tried to buy a new size yet, give yourself an outing and find at least one item of clothing that you can wear that is smaller - and make it one that makes you feel great. A treat of a new lipstick, eye shadow or a new hairdo will also help you see a bright new you and will help dispel the negative image that you have of yourself. Finally, learn to change the messages in your mind. Rather than telling yourself that you are fat and disgusting, take an honest assessment of your body. Tell yourself, "I'm not yet satisfied of this or that body part, so those are parts I want to work on with exercise and by continuing to be in control of my food." Focus on telling yourself that you are now in control of your food (yes!) and pat yourself on the back for that. Picture how great you'll feel as you head toward your goals. Praise yourself - yes, say it out loud! - for the work you've done so far. Remind yourself that you are doing this because you love yourself and want a healthier future. If you keep sending yourself these messages, eventually the mirror will agree and send those happy messages right back at ya! Hand in there!!

sugarlovebug

Allabtlm~ I hardly ever go on babycenter anymore. I got bored with it, so I'm taking a break from it. I didn't take a before picture, I was afraid I would break the camera. lol! I do have one from a month ago when I started C25k, but I had already lost 18lbs. I do have one from last Oct. that was BAD, it wasn't full lenght though!! Its aweful and gross! I am planning on taking another one once 30DS gets here.

debnu1

sugar, check out the podcast, "inside out weight loss" and the movie "the inner weigh" They will really help you. I know my brain has issues that is why I am doing the Beck Diet solution.

I also watched the show "addicted to food" where they found one thing they liked about their body every day and said it out loud. It might be a good thing to pick out something you like about your body each day and write it as your status. You can also look in the mirror and say it. Keep going even if you can only find one thing at first and it is only a little bit, as you keep going you will surprise yourself at what you find!

2hdesign

As someone who has been to therapy for disordered eating (emotional, complusive eating) - I discovered I had really piss poor self esteem. It's not great now, but it's improving with the tools I learned in therapy.

I would try rewarding yourself with non food stuff, keeping a gratitude journal and the like. But if after a month, two or whatever time frame you set, you haven't made any progress, then it's time to see a professional. I lived life at 160 in my 20s and it wasn't until the last few years that I balloned up to 220/230. And one of the things I've learned as I've struggled with losing and regaining those last 20 pounds was how much I despised myself. I was putting my entire self worth into my body image, which doesn't help anyone. I'm smart, funny, love to walk, hike, play and have a good time. I'm a good wife, friend, doggie mom, etc. Plus when you like yourself, you care enough to be kind to yourself and make loving changes. But I've been working hard to remind myself of that because losing 60 pounds won't automatically change how I view myself - that I have to work on one day, one thought at a time. Just thought I'd share my experience in hopes that it might help.

stangma

Hope today is a better day for you. You are an amazing person.