No Honor in Cheating - Cheat Days and the Wrong Mindset

krystonite

I agree to an extent, but then stop agreeing when you relate a cheat food as a reward. I think it's more so about control. It's about saying, "Look at me, I have this new mind frame and can have this one brownie but not go crazy."

You talk about harboring a new mindset, well that should include the ability to have one or two treats and stop at that. Otherwise, you're just setting yourself up for a massive failure down the road. Forbidding yourself from certain foods is walking a tightrope. I whole-heartedly believe in putting into your body healthy, nutritious foods in order to live a healthy, nutritious life. Our bodies are our longest place of residence. I don't keep my house a disaster so I'm certainly not about to keep my body as a wasteland either.

However, my house also has that one bit of stationary that is definitely not conducive to the rest of the decor. It's something that aids a part of me and soothes me. That's what a "cheat" food is. It's the ability to aid a part within yourself, relish in its delectability, and then get orderly again.

I commend you for the kind of dedication you've put into this weight-loss quest, however I must express my uncertainty with the kind of mindset that views "cheat" food as destructive to the entire path. When you're driving in your car and hit a speed bump, I'm pretty certain it doesn't stop you from getting to your destination. It's just simply placed there as a reminder for you to slow down and enjoy life.

lynn1982

I think this was very well written (aside from the religious text, but that's just my opinion). Perhaps the reason some people become so hostile regarding this topic is just an issue of semantics. The idea of a cheat day to me sounds like a day when you throw all caution to the wind and go all out and eat everything in the refrigerator and then some. That seems counter productive to me if you're trying to lose or maintain weight. I allow myself a larger meal once a week, which is usually a meal with my family. The food itself is always healthy, but my step-mom is an amazing cook and I know I'll want to taste everything on the table and possibly have seconds. So, I just work it into my calories or spend extra time at the gym on that day. Maybe that's what some people consider to be a "cheat" day, and in that case, I don't think there's anything wrong with it because I'm not actually "cheating."

I understand where you're coming from when you're saying to limit trigger foods. When I first started this, I was very strict, but every time I saw a picture of a cupcake, I felt like I had to have one. Eventually I convinced myself that I could buy a box of one of my "trigger" foods and eat just one. It turned out, I couldn't at the time and I ate the entire box. Then I started substituting some of my favourite foods as best I could (for example, frozen yogurt instead of ice cream and kale chips instead of potato chips). The intense cravings eventually subsided, but I still can't keep a box of cookies in the house for fear of eating them all in one sitting. Maybe some people can just eat one, but I know that the possibility exists where I might not be able to. I think people have to do what is right for them, which to me seems to be what you are saying. If you can work it into your caloric allowance and not over indulge to the point where you're sabotaging yourself, then go for it. Just because you're having a "cheat" day, it doesn't mean that those calories are having a day off too...

jah7700

I do agree that cheat days are not a good way to approach food consumption when you are on a weight loss journey. Call them what you will, but "cheat meals" are a fact of life and I don't think if you have those that you cannot also be prioritizing weight loss.

My "diet", what I'm eating today to be healthy and lose my weight, will not be a "diet" but just my everyday routine once I reach goal. Hence the reason they call it a life style. I have to be in that mindset or else I'll just put the weight back on once I reach my goal. However, in life you're going to have meals or events where you over indulge. Whether it's at a wedding or a party or just that craving for a food you haven't had in a long time. Understanding that you can't eat like that at every meal or every day and being able to walk away and get back to eating right and health without feeling discouraged goes a long way towards keeping you on track and healthy.

If I did not accept "cheat meals" as a part of my diet life style I would not have continued after the first month and a half or so on MFP. Summer hit, the boys were out of school, and we went on several vacations. By allowing "cheat meals" as a life style I maintained, didn't gain back any weight, and am progressing downward once again.

Well written article and makes you think. Thanks!

ak_in_ak

Couldn't agree more!

mbeuchert24

Eh, I agree with you on some points, and not on others. First, I do agree that you shouldn't throw away an entire day. That is one of my big mistakes.....I used to eat bad in a day and continue eating bad all day long. I figured, I've already blown it at this point, why not continue? But I found myself eating just for the sake of eating. I often wasn't even enjoying it anymore at the time, and I certainly didn't enjoy it later when I didn't feel good, or days later when the scale revealed a gain or I had stayed the same when I had worked hard every other day for a loss. I still mess up sometimes, but now I try to eat healthy all day, and then have a cheat meal, not a cheat day.

However, I do think we need to allow ourselves to be realistic. Setting unrealistic goals is the best and fastest way to set ourselves up for failure in my opinion. I will be honest, I LOVE pepsi, taco bell, and just plain eating out in general whether it be healthy or bad food. Yes a part of me sees it as entertainment, but the other part of me just loves the taste, the convenience, etc.

If my lifestyle change were just for a set period of time, say 90 days, then I would totally view these as cheat days. If I have committed to a healthy lifestyle for 90 days, there is virtually no reason I cannot stick to it, and not doing so would be cheating. But you said it yourself, it's a lifestyle change, meaning it has to be a change we can live with for the rest of our lives. I don't like being fat, but I also do not like the idea of giving up the favorite foods for the rest of my life. I don't like the idea of watching my friends and family happily eating and enjoying themselves at get togethers and holidays, while I am scribbling down every bite I put into my mouth and then cutting myself off halfway through the day because I have reached my limit.

I don't want to decline invites to go out to eat because they are eating at a restaurant that doesn't have anything I can get without feel like I am starving an hour later. Sure, eat well on some holidays? Turn down some invites to go out? I can do that. Turn them down for the rest of my life? No.

It's not all or nothing in my opinion, you have a bad day, you start new tomorrow and get back on the horse. I don't have to chose between eating bad and being fat.....and eating well and being thin. I can work toward my goal, and even reach my goal all the while enjoying the things I enjoy. It's all about moderation. Besides, you don't have to do it every Friday in order for it to be a cheat day/meal. You kind of contradicted yourself when you said "If I am eating healthy 98% of the time, it isn’t going to kill me to have a slice of pizza on Friday night with a nice cold 90 minute IPA. I just can’t do it every other night or even every Friday."

That's exactly what a cheat meal is all about. It's not going to kill you, and it's something you really enjoy.

*Stands up and claps....THIS!*

Absolutely!!

gdortiz

controversial post to say the least ...

I think for the person that needs to lose alot of weight (15 pounds or more) you have to have this mindset ...I know if I did I would been a lot closer to my goal.

byukid

Food is a tool. I feel like for some cheating can actually be beneficial (e.g. http://www.t-nation.com/free_online_article/most_recent/in_defense_of_cheat_days), and there are recorded instances of people losing weight eating nothing but twinkies and other sugary delights.

Everything works, nothing works forever.

sollila

Great post! I agree! I am one of those that cannot cheat. I fall completely off the wagon, and its a struggle to get back on it.

deesjourney2fit

Argh, lost my entire response to you. Okay time to type again:

I read your blog and several comments below. Although I do find your blog was well written, I do not fully agree with your points.

I, myself, try not to see food as a reward. Yes this is a life style change for me but that does not mean I should give up all my favorite foods. Why not try to make your favorite foods healthier? For example, I like sloppy joes so I make them with ground turkey instead of beef. This is not a weekly meal or even a monthly meal but it's nice to know I can eat it without guilt. I also enjoy pizza. Why not make a pizza with pita bread, sauce, light cheese and turkey pepperoni or veggies? I refuse to give up my favorite foods because they are deemed "bad" or "off limits". You know why I'm overweight? It's not because I ate all those foods but it's because I ate all those foods without any moderation! I love chili cheese fries from a place near my house. We don't go very often so it's a treat when we do. We only get 1 order, because it's huge, and we share. But I also eat light all day before, I exercise before and after the meal (after the meal is usually a nice walk somewhere) plus I drink a lot of water. Because I know that I'm going to indulge in an extremely high calorie meal, I make adjustments to my daily intake so that I can enjoy. GUILT FREE! It is about moderation.

Thank you for your blog, I think it provides an excellent point of view. I cannot and will not cut out all foods that I'm told I shouldn't eat because 1. it makes me want them more to the point where I will over indulge and 2. this is a life style change. It is unrealistic for me to believe that I will never eat chili cheese fries or cheese burgers or pizza ever again.

Thriceshy

"Cheat days" (or "days off" as I always called them) have sunk my weight loss efforts more than once. Never again. If I want something, I find a way to work it in today,and if today doesn't work, I'm a big girl--I can wait a day or two. I fiddle things around, work them, and make them fit into my life. This isn't a diet I can just step out of and then step back into--no, this is my life, and that means not ever returning to the out-of-control hooverating I was so prone to. Seems to me that having "cheat days" or "free weekends" is like quitting smoking, yet still indulging on weekends. If I still view that lousy way of living as an option, then of course I'm eventually going to fall back into it. For ME, that sort of backslide into a former lifestyle is totally self-sabotaging.

If it works for someone else, great. But for me, it's utterly self-defeating.

Edited to stress that I haven't sworn off any great swaths of food--I had mashed potatoes and New York strip the other night, I had a big, happy Italian sausage with my pasta dinner last night, and I had barbequed ribs with pit beans last week. Heck, I just cleared fudgesicles! But I work to make sure those fit into my day, and if they don't, I do what's necessary to make them fit in asap.

Kris

Qarol

If that's your opinion and that's how you want to live your life and you think it's best for you, then awesome. But that doesn't make it wrong for other people.

kunibob

Congrats on figuring out what works for you! I would caution you against assuming that's the same for everybody, and casting judgement upon those who work differently than you.

I've been on my weight loss journey for 4.5 years now, and the occasional "cheat day" has not harmed me. Food IS a reward for me. It IS an obsession. I tried pretending it wasn't, many years ago, and it led to year after year of increasingly worse behaviours, ending up with my max weight in 2007. Some folks can just flip on their "100% healthy, all the time" attitudes, but I seem to have an inevitable backlash that comes from that.

What has worked for me has been embracing my love of food and working on portion control instead (daily portion control AND overall "bad day" portion control!) When I was in counselling for OCD, ages ago, the focus of the therapy was to embrace my obsessions and learn that I control them rather than the other way around: it allowed me to empower myself by accepting my obsessions and realizing that I was actively making the choices I did. The same applies to food for me. On the days when the obsession with food seems too powerful to ignore: I own it, I log it, I deal with the consequences, I move on. If those days start to happen frequently, then I look at the root cause and try to tackle that: am I under extra stress? Not eating enough? etc. ...but if it's once in a blue moon, then I own it and move on. You might argue that the root of that is an unhealthy attitude toward food, and I agree. You're absolutely right. For some of us, that is a reality that we have to embrace and work with.

We are all different, and what is the perfect solution for one is not the perfect solution for another.

otr12

I eat whatever I want on Sundays and don't log it. So far it's working just fine for me. I closely watch my progress and when it stops working I'll stop doing it. By "working" I'm including my weight and the lab results my doctor is constantly rechecking.

I'm lucky in that I don't have a problem hopping right back on the wagon Monday morning. I enjoy eating. Food is good food. I don't think that is ever going to change for me. Everything I eat is a choice I make after I weigh all the pros and cons. Sundays carrot cake is a choice I make because it's worth it to me. And Mondays veggie egg white omelette is also a choice that is worth it to me. I no longer eat mindlessly or lose control of my consumption.

So I'm pro "cheat day", for me. But I wouldn't recommend it because I don't think that the majority of people trying to lose weight have the same mindset as I do.