Girlfriend broke up with me/panic mode

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Replies

  • tramaine81
    tramaine81 Posts: 113 Member

    Just remember the trick is to keep breathing.

    That is so true. It was hard for me to breathe after my previous relationship ended. It hurt just to fill my lungs, it was crazy
    .

    Here are Tips:

    Keep exercising.....even if it is just walking, it will clear your emotions

    Read a book ( I love C.S. Lewis Narnia series...but that is me, you might like Michael Crichton or something) or watch a sappy movie like, Legends of the Fall.

    If you do eat...make sure it is a healthy splurge.. For example, Amy's Pizza's are healthy or get a single thin crust serving of a California pizza kitchen. If you want to binge, get some icecream or some fat-free popcorn with apple slices and go crazy!

    Spend time alone and write your feelings (don't force yourself to go out, stay in alone or with close friends who don't mind you crying silently in the corner)

    Have someone you can talk to and get emotional with (usually these people should be available to you at a moments notice).

    Remember....you just went through an emotional train wreck...you are very fragile. You are, like, in the ICU. I would take a day off from work if possible.

    Ummm, begging doesn't work... I've tried it....

    Most of all, realize, everyone has been through it. I might take you six months to feel normal again. However, we are proud of you, keep going! No one can take away what makes you special! Concentrate on what you want in your life. Some people are here for a season, a reason, or a lifetime.

    I hope you feel better. It will be okay.

    Maine
  • KatiePanda25
    KatiePanda25 Posts: 20
    You have to remember what you're doing this for, to better YOU.
    As much as you would like to drown your sorrows in pizza, you know deep down that a) it only lasts until the pizza is gone and b) once it is gone, you're still depressed over your breakup, AND depressed at your attempted calorie suicide.

    The best revenge in any breakup isn't to lash out, or sabotage yourself, or beg for forgiveness etc. It's to better yourself, move forward, continue with your goals, and walk into a room she's in 6 months down the road a completely new person both on the inside and the outside.

    Stick with your goals. It's hard when you're upset, but at the end of the day, you'll be proud that you succeeded. Don't let a breakup get the best of you. Take control. You can't control the fact that she brokeup with you, but you CAN control how you react to that.

    Keep your head up, and put the pizza down :)

    Agree!
  • countrydarling1
    countrydarling1 Posts: 386 Member
    U can do it! Show her what she lost! the right person is out there! keep up the good work!!
  • summernichole
    summernichole Posts: 4
    Instead of taking your sadness out by sitting around and eating unhealthy, take it out by exercising and eating right!- Sounds corney right? Well for me exercise and keeping my body healthy was always my "stress relief". Like today, I got frustrated and took it out on the machines at the gym. And guess what, For the two hours I was working my butt off, I wasn't thinking about the thing that hurt me earlier in the day, AND I went home feeling amazing. Like everyone else said, you trying to get in shape and be healthy may have started because you wanted to make her happy, but now its on YOU! She's gone, and that may hurt, but focus on getting in shape and finding something better on down the road! And you always have support on here!! Please don't let this discourage you!!
  • orlandosgoddess21
    orlandosgoddess21 Posts: 72 Member
    Go get the book It's Called A BreakUp Because it's Broken. It is amazing and can really help you get through this. Like what everyone else said, try to get exercise and stay busy but if you do dive head first into a pizza one day, forgive yourself the next and start fresh the next day. That book and a half pint got my through my old breakup but the next day I got back on track. But honestly, that book is life and dignity saving.
  • jemclean
    jemclean Posts: 10 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear that.
    Getting in shape is something you have to do for yourself. Do it because it makes you look and feel good, and because you like the way you look and feel when you do it. Eating pizza MIGHT make you feel good for a few minutes, but afterward, you'll still be sad, and you'll be upset that you just ate a pizza.

    Give yourself time to grieve, lean on your good friends, and make working out and being healthy your gift to yourself.
  • kr3851
    kr3851 Posts: 994 Member
    She might have been your inspiration to start, but you need to find an inspiration to keep going. Think about the next girl you might meet - how do you want to meet her? Do you want to be unhealthy after a month of eating badly and not exercising? Or do you want to impress her with your motivation?

    We had a motivational speaker at work a couple of years ago that taught the philosophy "SUMO" It means Shut Up and Move On. BUT the thing I liked about it most was that the first step in the process is allowing yourself to wallow. Give yourself a timeframe for this wallowing, and allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. If that is feeling a pizza in your tummy, then feel the pizza. After this time (give yourself a week, or a couple of days), it's time to Shut Up and Move On. SUMO. You've had your time to wallow, and now it's time to move on.

    SUMO got me through my recent breakup. I gave myself a week to do what I wanted food wise, and I didn't force myself to exercise. I did exercise though - punching bag works wonders....
  • thebiggreenmachine
    thebiggreenmachine Posts: 66 Member
    Dude, just go to a strip club, they always cheer me up even when I don't need cheering up :)
  • MissingMyOldSelf
    MissingMyOldSelf Posts: 689 Member
    First off.... I'm very sorry for this stressful time in your life. Second off, I saw that you're from Dayton, and I am, too :) If you'd like to get together and walk somewhere, like the mall, Metropark, whatever, I'm here :) Like someone said, She may have been your inspiration to start.... but use yourself as the inspiration to keep going. That's what I'm doing..... I'm using myself as proof that I can do this!!!! I can keep going!!!!!!
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    So sad, I've been through the wringer in my life and I always challenge myself and others to look for the silver lining. Believe it or not it is there with every situation, even if it is that you learnt something about yourself.

    Maybe the silver lining here is that you found MFP!

    Chookers

    GG
  • kirstyfromscotland
    kirstyfromscotland Posts: 555 Member
    sorry 2 hear that. But u need 2 remember 2 keep urself on track try n fill ur free time working out as well as getting fit it will give u such a boost, sometimes if i feel like i cant b bothered n dont know if i wan2 carry on i look at ppls profiles n c their tickers and see how well their doing n that puts me right back on it, good luck, feel free 2 add me as a friend, i found having a bigger group 4 support is a big help. :0)
  • sknopps
    sknopps Posts: 166
    gonna need you to not have pizza grease on your chin when you meet your next girlfriend....

    haha true! hang in there, stay positive!
  • rockieschick
    rockieschick Posts: 321 Member
    Its probably not too emotionally healthy, but I've always been a fan of the "gonna-look-so-good-you'll-regret-breaking-up-with-me" tactic. The "now-that-I'm-single-I-have-to-look-good-to-attract-someone-better" can also be quite helpful.

    Haha I did that before and it was the greatest feeling ever! Im not suggesting it neccesseraly but it was awesome to hear him begging me to take him back and me say "heck no"! haha
  • ivyjbres
    ivyjbres Posts: 612 Member
    I have one comfort food that always makes me feel better. So I set myself a time limit, wallow in misery for a few hours/days depending on the situation. Then I go to Bruam's, get a banana split, and sit in my car (sometimes crying), and eat my banana split, chocolate end first, vanilla last, and when its gone, I'm done being depressed. I decide what I'm going to do about the situation, and I do it.

    If you really have a certain food that you associate with emotional recovery, allow yourself that, but only that, and only once. After that, its time for you to take care of yourself, not torture yourself.
  • JDRBT
    JDRBT Posts: 264 Member
    I went through a divorce that really pulled the rug out from under me and it was HARD to make healthy choices!
    Here are some thoughts:
    REMEMBER what you learned - the whole relationship wasn't bad. I've learned from every person I've dated and I've kept those lessons with me. Seperate the good from the bad. The good is she showed you how to make some healthier choices. That's worth maintaining for sure!
    Control what you can, and don't try to control what you can't. You can't control her feelings, but you CAN control how you allow yourself to react to it. Moarning is a normal part of change, and this is a big change for you.
    CALL GOOD FRIENDS and FAMILY! Reach out to others, stay busy, and set goals!

    You'll get through this - and you can control what your waist line looks like when you come out the other side!
  • guadalupezvl
    guadalupezvl Posts: 11
    Oh sweetie don't let this get you down! use it as motivation to do better....Your health is what matter the most. besides dont doubt that someone better will come along! :)
  • Lulzaroonie
    Lulzaroonie Posts: 222 Member
    About 18 months ago, my partner broke up with me because he didn't find me sexually attractive anymore. We'd been together for a couple of years, and had a child, and I'd gained a lot of weight, and it really kicked me into overdrive to show him that I can better myself, and can look better.
    Regardless of the reasons as to why you broke up, any women in the future will enjoy having a guy who looks after himself :)
    Sorry you're feeling bad, I hope you feel better soon.
    Work through it :)
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Dude, just go to a strip club, they always cheer me up even when I don't need cheering up :)

    hahahahahahahahahaha, love it.

    i was gonna say, eat the pizza, get some ice cream as well if you want, and eat your feelings. then tomorrow, its a whole new day and you can carry on and try one day at a time to put her behind you and work on making yourself happy and healthy. but actually, just go to the strip club!!!
  • ProphetOfDoom
    ProphetOfDoom Posts: 13
    Dude, just go to a strip club, they always cheer me up even when I don't need cheering up :)

    hahahahahahahahahaha, love it.

    i was gonna say, eat the pizza, get some ice cream as well if you want, and eat your feelings. then tomorrow, its a whole new day and you can carry on and try one day at a time to put her behind you and work on making yourself happy and healthy. but actually, just go to the strip club!!!


    + 1 I agree. lol

    Get into the shape you want (After said strip club) and then in however many months it takes, run into her and make her pissed that she broke up with you. Use this as motivation to keep working at your goals.
  • jbretz
    jbretz Posts: 43
    I just want to thank everyone for taking the time to reply. I have read everyone's response and it means so much to me. Actually, all of you kept me from giving all of this up. I'm not going to let her control my life, since she is no longer in it! I'm going to do this for myself. The next girl I meet will be that much luckier. :)

    It's so great to know that everyone is here to support me. I won't wallow in my pain for long, but knowing that this fantastic support system is here makes me feel so much better. I don't know what I would do without all of you. You are all wonderful people and I wish you the best of luck in life. We all deserve it!
  • laureneva15
    laureneva15 Posts: 280
    I just want to thank everyone for taking the time to reply. I have read everyone's response and it means so much to me. Actually, all of you kept me from giving all of this up. I'm not going to let her control my life, since she is no longer in it! I'm going to do this for myself. The next girl I meet will be that much luckier. :)

    It's so great to know that everyone is here to support me. I won't wallow in my pain for long, but knowing that this fantastic support system is here makes me feel so much better. I don't know what I would do without all of you. You are all wonderful people and I wish you the best of luck in life. We all deserve it!

    best change and attitude you can have for yourself right now.
    Let the healing begin
    just remember you'll have your good and bad days, take them as they come.
    Just keep breathing
  • Joisgettingfit
    Joisgettingfit Posts: 160 Member
    Just try and keep calm, I ended up finishing with my boyfriend just over a week ago. We'd been going out just over 8 months too, I was really really hurt by something he did and I was torn between wanting to not eat at all and to eat everything in sight and purge (I used to suffer with an ed) so it just brought back all those negative feelings

    What helped me was keeping distracted ,exercise worked really well at keeping me distracted from how I felt. Also sims 2 works wonders too but exercise is probably better.
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