Ate a whole loaf of French Wheat Bread....

NeedANewFocus

I feel myself slowly slipping. I notice I get this way everytime I set out to reach a goal. My recent goal is to see abs by my birthday. My birthday is creeping up fast and I dont see how I'm going to accomplish this goal, AGAIN. Why do I do this to myself?

So, I gave in and ate a whole loaf of French Wheat Bread last night while I watched a movie. I was able to muster about twenty five minutes of cardio after the movie. Energy levels seem low and mood is slipping lower and lower. I hate going to work anymore. Not because I fear the people or place but because I'm bored with my job. Same thing over and over again. I need a hobby! I need something to look forward to everyday. I need something more exciting than just sitting in front of a computer for eight hours a day and then going home to sweat to the same routines.

Finally, I know part of my decreased mood is because I'm feeling more and more lonely as the days go on. I've been single for a long time because I've grown to distrust the women I'm accustomed to. I've been hurt and dragged through the mud. I'm not saying I'm perfect in anyway. In fact, I'll be the first to admit my faults and I do on a regular. Interestingly, I started my weight loss journey because an ex flat out told me I wasnt good enough and would never measure up to her ex model boyfriends. On one hand, I thank her for that because it helped to motivate me to show her I was better. On the other hand, I have a need to want to look and feel better and the higher the bar goes the less I feel accomplished. Therefore, I continue to believe I'm not good enough, not good looking enough, not anything a woman would really want.

Ok.....I'm done rambling and feeling sorry for myself. Sorry for the post but thanks for reading if you made it this far. I guess I just need to let it out. :ohwell: :brokenheart:

zonah

Sounds like you are in a rut. I really need you to know if you love someone it does not matter how much they weigh real love is deeper then the superficial. If I were you I would supplement my diet with some omega 3 supplements to help improve your mood. I think to you may need someone to talk to it sounds like you have some issues to work through so that you can be happy with yourself. Wishing you all the best~

write2sonya

Hey there, don’t beat yourself up about eating the French toast, at lease it was whole wheat and you were able to get some cardio in! I think you need to find something more challenging both at work and at home. Finding a hobby is a good thing, one I am trying to do myself. Are you into any sports? A good meet to meet new people and stay active at the same time. How about classes at your local community centre? I live in Canada and we have Community Centers available in our Cities that offer a wide range of courses and hobbies that are short term so it’s a good way to see if you like something or not without forking out a huge amount of money – example – photography classes, cooking classes, learning a new language, etc… Again all great places to meet new people (girls & guys).
Is it possible for you to approach your boos at work and ask to be put on projects, etc. Sometimes your boss is not aware of what your working on, and you don’t want to go up to him/her and say you’re bored! By asking to be put on projects, etc, shows some initiative and with help with the boredom!
Lastly, you need to be happy with yourself first and foremost. For a girlfriend/ex to compare you to old boyfriends others is ridiculous. Eventually the right person will come along, everything happens for a reason. Take this time now to work on yourself (inner and outer) learn to be happy with yourself and meet people & try new things.

Good luck on your journey.

Sonya

P.S. We all get down in out every now and then….

sarahsmom1

So sorry you feel that way about yourself but getting abs, muscles, thin etc are not going to change how you feel about yourself. You need to respect yourself no matter how you look. You are someone you can be proud of . Are you kind, loving, generous(not monetary) but with your feelings it is whats on the inside that really counts. Besides you did say they were her ex model boyfriends there must have been something wrong with her to have so many ex boyfriends. You are young and have plenty of time for girlfriends. It is when you stop looking and relax is when you will find that special someone to share your life with and she will love you conditionally.. But yes, there is always room for improvement. Best wishes

sunshine__angel

You are a good person and anyone who can't see that doesn't deserve to be with you. Don't ever let someone else's view of you change your view of yourself. You have been doing great and this won't break you, everyone has days where they slip up. I know you can do whatever you set your mind to - I've seen your progress myself. You just have to want it for the right reasons. I hope you realize that ex of yours was wrong!

grace914

I agree with Sunshine, you are a great person! So you binged last night, you're human...it's gonna happen. What happened to spin? We're supposed to be spin buddies, remember? :bigsmile: As for relationships........eh....I'm in the same position. But what I can say is that once you feel more confident about yourself (emotionally and physically), there will be a girl out there for you. Who's not materialistic or snobby! Now, go work out. I'll harass you soon :flowerforyou:

NeedANewFocus

You are all so awesome! I'm feeling a lot better. Thank you so much for all the support and unbelievably kind words! :flowerforyou: