I'm curious...

AudgePaudge

Have you ever had some one who despised you for being heavy? Would you confront them if you had the chance after you've lost weight? Have you already done so?

When I was in Elementary school, there was this boy who was so mean to me for being fat. Every chance he got he would call me out, and give me disgusted looks. We were forced to dance with each other for a Cinco De Mayo dance our class was doing, and he made me wear my sweater so our skin didn't touch. It was in Arizona, and it was hot!! I would love to confront him on the Maury show after I lose weight :bigsmile:

wickedcricket

well .. my mother did
but I think YOU'RE giving him power to harm you now - you have to let go of that. Children are mean & do mean things. Just raise your children to be kind & compassionate.
I'd NEVER give that person the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me all these years but then, I wouldn't let it hurt me all these years either.
Just forget it - leave painful memories in the past - they can only hurt you IF YOU LET THEM.

natskedat

I've had women who despised me for being thin. It's all about confidence, power, and stereotypes. It's sad because your bully learned that behavior at home. He lived in an abusive household.

I was bullied in high school by a kid who had waaaaaay more money than my family. Last month, I wrote him a note telling him how hurtful his words and actions were. To my utter surprise, he wrote back and apologized. 20 years later, I finally found closure.

Your bully has grown up, just like you have. He's had both wonderful and humbling experiences. Write him a note. Tell him exactly how it made you feel. Tell him how his behavior impacted your life, your confidence, and your interactions with other. People need to be held accountable for their actions, no matter how many years have passed.

You'll feel AMAZING when you confront your bully, attacker, heckler, whatever. You are the one in the power position because you didn't do anything wrong.

Good luck, and let go of these negative feelings. They don't do anything productive in your life.

Find him and write. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

MissMarthaGrace

Kids are mean in elementary school ~ heck high school for that matter. Though I was never teased for being overweight - I was given a hard time about other things and tried hard not to take it to heart. Looking back now ~ my guess is that they were insecure themselves and had to make me (and others) feel bad in order to feel better about themselves. You're 23 - that was elementary school ~ and he was one person. To confront him would be stooping to his level ~ and in all honesty ~ he probably woudn't even remember. Sounds like you have a wonderful, supportive family and all the support you could possible ask for here on MFP ~ so I say it's time to forget that guy and move on! Don't waste another thought on him and focus on your future ~ your happy [healthy] future! :happy: :happy: xx

stefraab

I've never had it as bad as what you described but I'd never confront someone like that. They were a-holes then, and they're probably a-holes now. Not worth it

starpi22

At my old job I would get a lot of crap for my weight, especially in the summer when it was super hot and the tank tops and shorts came out. There is this one older woman that always had something to say about what I was eating, once my husband brought me lunch, but also brought a huge container of potato salad that he wanted as a side for dinner. He asked if I would be able to keep it in my cooler until I got home so he didn't have to make the extra trip, well I didn't see the harm of sneaking a few bites out of the potato salad and failed to notice how I may have looked hunched over the massive vat of mayonnaise and carbs, but others noticed and of course the woman noticed, I overheard her tell another women "Wow, now we know why she got so big." Arg!!!
Well, I still have a few good friends at that place and I plan to have lunch with them in the main lunchroom next summer (when I've lost my weight) wearing the best butt hugging jeans I can find! hahaha

ItsCasey

I've never really wanted to confront anyone from childhood, even high school. At that age, kids (especially boys) don't really understand what they're doing. If they knew how much their teasing and cruelty really affected the other person, I believe most of them wouldn't do it. Some of the boys who used to tease me when I was little are very close friends of mine now that we're all grown up.

But some people are just mean, from childhood, all the way until they die, and it's really not even worth confronting them.

AudgePaudge

I've had women who despised me for being thin. It's all about confidence, power, and stereotypes. It's sad because your bully learned that behavior at home. He lived in an abusive household.

I was bullied in high school by a kid who had waaaaaay more money than my family. Last month, I wrote him a note telling him how hurtful his words and actions were. To my utter surprise, he wrote back and apologized. 20 years later, I finally found closure.

Your bully has grown up, just like you have. He's had both wonderful and humbling experiences. Write him a note. Tell him exactly how it made you feel. Tell him how his behavior impacted your life, your confidence, and your interactions with other. People need to be held accountable for their actions, no matter how many years have passed.

You'll feel AMAZING when you confront your bully, attacker, heckler, whatever. You are the one in the power position because you didn't do anything wrong.

Good luck, and let go of these negative feelings. They don't do anything productive in your life.

Find him and write. You have nothing to lose, and everything to gain.

I think it's awesome you did that!! :happy:

AudgePaudge

At my old job I would get a lot of crap for my weight, especially in the summer when it was super hot and the tank tops and shorts came out. There is this one older woman that always had something to say about what I was eating, once my husband brought me lunch, but also brought a huge container of potato salad that he wanted as a side for dinner. He asked if I would be able to keep it in my cooler until I got home so he didn't have to make the extra trip, well I didn't see the harm of sneaking a few bites out of the potato salad and failed to notice how I may have looked hunched over the massive vat of mayonnaise and carbs, but others noticed and of course the woman noticed, I overheard her tell another women "Wow, now we know why she got so big." Arg!!!
Well, I still have a few good friends at that place and I plan to have lunch with them in the main lunchroom next summer (when I've lost my weight) wearing the best butt hugging jeans I can find! hahaha

What a jerk she was...Sounds like an awesome plan with the butt hugging jeans :drinker:

AudgePaudge

well .. my mother did
but I think YOU'RE giving him power to harm you now - you have to let go of that. Children are mean & do mean things. Just raise your children to be kind & compassionate.
I'd NEVER give that person the satisfaction of knowing they hurt me all these years but then, I wouldn't let it hurt me all these years either.
Just forget it - leave painful memories in the past - they can only hurt you IF YOU LET THEM.

I am thankful in a way that I was teased as a child...I teach my children to love others who are different and they do! Maybe if I wasn't teased, I would have been that way also and never would have given a second thought to how much it hurt. I'm happy I'm raising my kids to be kind and compassionate...

LeCitron

I have a relative who once told me to shoot her in her fat zones if she ever became obese. She told me that that would give her the motivation she needed to lose weight. Let me tell you, being told such a thing when I'm on my own weight loss journey was not all that fun. This relative also finds it difficult just to be around obese people--including our cousins--without being outrageously uncomfortable.

Some people...

AudgePaudge

I have a relative who once told me to shoot her in her fat zones if she ever became obese. She told me that that would give her the motivation she needed to lose weight. Let me tell you, being told such a thing when I'm on my own weight loss journey was not all that fun. This relative also finds it difficult just to be around obese people--including our cousins--without being outrageously uncomfortable.

Some people...

You know, I can see children acting this way. But adults? Come on now :noway:

myofibril

I wasn't despised for my weight as a kid (even though I was on the chunky side;) I was, however, by a few kids for the colour of my skin. I took some flak for it for a number of years.

Do I want to confront those people? No. Do I think about them? Pretty much never. Do I care about what happened to them? Nope.

Kids are kids. Most of them are just being idiotic as they are prone to be. A small minority are nasty and will always be. It's just the way of the world. In a way I knew even back then that it was a temporary state of affairs and eventually I would leave them all in my dust. And I did....

Why would I worry about people who have no real meaning to my success?

My life, my progress, my rules.

AudgePaudge

I wasn't despised for my weight as a kid (even though I was on the chunky side;) I was, however, by a few kids for the colour of my skin. I took some flak for it for a number of years.

Do I want to confront those people? No. Do I think about them? Pretty much never. Do I care about what happened to them? Nope.

Kids are kids. Most of them are just being idiotic as they are prone to be. A small minority are nasty and will always be. It's just the way of the world. In a way I knew even back then that it was a temporary state of affairs and eventually I would leave them all in my dust. And I did....

Why would I worry about people who have no real meaning to my success?

My life, my progress, my rules.

Nice!! :drinker: