Apparently Pet Names Are Offensive

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  • Riebop
    Riebop Posts: 275
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    My first wife had a pet name for me. @sshole

    I had one for her too. B!tch.

    I thought my husband and I only did this. :P We love eachother and this stuff is only said in jest... I started calling him "love button" as a joke and it stuck. LOL!!
  • edunk2008
    edunk2008 Posts: 24
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    AWWW Sugar, I love it!!!! WE need to be friends and I will only delete you if you DONT add a "pet name!" Besides, I dont view honey, sugar, dear, ect. as pet names! Call me sex kitten and THEN we will have a problem!!! LOL!!!! :bigsmile:
  • BamaMomma
    BamaMomma Posts: 53
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    definitely not uncaring of other people's cultures. just think he's shallow. i respect people when they earn my respect. later, chick.
    He writes this back, something along the lines of "I forgot you were Southern. Up here we reserve pet names for our spouse. It freaked me out. I asked my buddies and apparently the use of pet names is more common in the South." RIGHT. I wrote him back and told him, basically, you're mean and shallow and we don't need to be friends."

    lol you think he is mean and shallow but it just seems like you are overly sensitive and uncaring about other people's cultures/backgrounds. You want other people to respect your words and reasoning but you won't respect their's. smh
    That's like a Mexican getting mad at a Texan because they speak tex-mex and use words differently
    [/quote]
  • AdorablePanda
    AdorablePanda Posts: 125 Member
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    I think you are fine. Depending on the situation when someone calls me hun or darlin, I get taken a back, but I'm never offended. It's just I don't hear it that often. But honestly, it does make me feel pretty good. lol. I like pet names, I reserve special ones for my husband, and he gave me my unique one. :-) So I feel that on MFP I can call people sweet endearing pet names if I choose. anyway....:-)
    you're good to go, and I'm sorry that some people can't take a bit of sweet southern ways.
  • AdorablePanda
    AdorablePanda Posts: 125 Member
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    AWWW Sugar, I love it!!!! WE need to be friends and I will only delete you if you DONT add a "pet name!" Besides, I dont view honey, sugar, dear, ect. as pet names! Call me sex kitten and THEN we will have a problem!!! LOL!!!! :bigsmile:
    LOL exactly.
  • BethanyMasters
    BethanyMasters Posts: 519 Member
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    I wouldn't say it would be offensive to me but depending on the situation it can make me uncomfortable or it can even sometimes sound condescending.

    I really don't like it when people do it while i'm waiting on them at work or something or any other stranger for that matter.

    There's a guy at work that likes to be like "Hey sexy." "Hey baby." or something along those lines.
    He's old enough to be my dad : /
    I told him that it was inappropriate and I don't like it. Now he only slips up once in a while and I have to give him evil death glare.
  • robertf57
    robertf57 Posts: 560 Member
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    My first wife had a pet name for me. @sshole

    I had one for her too. B!tch.

    Been there, done that, have the T shirt!!!
  • B_L_A_Z_I_A_N
    B_L_A_Z_I_A_N Posts: 151
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    definitely not uncaring of other people's cultures. just think he's shallow. i respect people when they earn my respect. later, chick.

    lol sorry. I didnt realize the post was just a rant to validate your actions :)
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
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    I'm from SC. Use them here too. I once called a customer "dear". Another guy there who is from NY said "don't call me that. You don't know me." my feelings were so hurt because I meant nothing by it and didn't feel like I deserved that. Oh well. Some people are just a**es.
  • Nailrep
    Nailrep Posts: 966 Member
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    I'm from SC. Use them here too. I once called a customer "dear". Another guy there who is from NY said "don't call me that. You don't know me." my feelings were so hurt because I meant nothing by it and didn't feel like I deserved that. Oh well. Some people are just a**es.
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,554 Member
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    I think the fact that you called him mean and shallow was... well, mean and shallow!
    He was honest with you and told you that he wasn't comfortable being called "honey" by someone he isn't in a relationship with - and you called him shallow????

    This forum is full of people from different backgrounds and cultures and I think we should all be respectful of that.
    I would not be comfortable if a male online friend called me "honey". If it was a woman I would think it was odd but would accept that is the way that person expressed themselves.

    We're all different - that's what makes life interesting!
  • Pakitalian
    Pakitalian Posts: 218 Member
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    Like I said, I prefer "sexy beast"

    anyways, HONEY, do not let this get you down. I appreciate your sincerity. Keep doing what you are doing! XOXOXO DARLING!!
  • AdorablePanda
    AdorablePanda Posts: 125 Member
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    I think the fact that you called him mean and shallow was... well, mean and shallow!
    He was honest with you and told you that he wasn't comfortable being called "honey" by someone he isn't in a relationship with - and you called him shallow????

    This forum is full of people from different backgrounds and cultures and I think we should all be respectful of that.
    I would not be comfortable if a male online friend called me "honey". If it was a woman I would think it was odd but would accept that is the way that person expressed themselves.

    We're all different - that's what makes life interesting!

    Good point....maybe neither side was really mean or shallow, just different. If he felt bothered by it, instead of just deleting her comments maybe he could have told her in a private message. i know if I was doing something to upset someone I would prefer they tell me, instead of avoiding the problem. Perhaps the OP could have come to understand that, this person, in particular was a little sensitive to that. Not change her personality, of course, but just be aware of it.

    But overall, as i said in my previous comments, the OP sounds like a nice person, and it doesn't bother me particularly to be called an affectionate pet name, as long as its not creepy or completely out of the blue. Sometimes it can help brighten my day. ...but not everybody is the same...as you said, people are different, and we gotta share the world, so we may as well learn how to work with each other. I like it.
    other-side of the coin perspective--nice.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
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    Like I said, I prefer "sexy beast"

    anyways, HONEY, do not let this get you down. I appreciate your sincerity. Keep doing what you are doing! XOXOXO DARLING!!

    Ha.ahh...

    I like" beefcake" but that one doesn't happen except once in a while when the wife is looking to boost my ego.
  • yvonnej1
    yvonnej1 Posts: 904 Member
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    My first wife had a pet name for me. @sshole

    I had one for her too. B!tch.

    Been there, done that, have the T shirt!!!

    ...managed to take the T shirt off for your pic though!! :wink:
  • koosdel
    koosdel Posts: 3,317 Member
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    Ha! Ha! Ha! We got a special name for guys like that around here (almost as south as you)! Lol!!!
  • veganbaum
    veganbaum Posts: 1,865 Member
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    I think the fact that you called him mean and shallow was... well, mean and shallow!
    He was honest with you and told you that he wasn't comfortable being called "honey" by someone he isn't in a relationship with - and you called him shallow????

    This forum is full of people from different backgrounds and cultures and I think we should all be respectful of that.
    I would not be comfortable if a male online friend called me "honey". If it was a woman I would think it was odd but would accept that is the way that person expressed themselves.

    We're all different - that's what makes life interesting!

    I agree. Most of the time I have heard those terms from males - honey, darlin', and to me it was just condescending, and certainly not something you do in the workplace. I had one female friend who called people "love." Didn't offend in the same way, but it still made me a little uncomfortable. I only use those names with people I am close with, I don't like throwing those words around. I can see some may be raised that way, but others aren't. It doesn't make those who feel uncomfortable with it mean or shallow - it is simply not their culture. BTW - I live in the southwest, and I almost never hear those terms used daily, so it's just not how most people here speak. For others who grew up with it, it's obviously what they're used to. These are simply different views/cutlures. While we shouldn't have to adjust our cultural norms to someone elses, it's respectful to at least refrain from things that make them uncomfortable - within reason.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    Each to their own but any lady here can call me anything they wish to. :smile:


    Hopefully it is something nice. :embarassed:
  • Cherilea
    Cherilea Posts: 1,118 Member
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    I work with preschoolers, so I say sweet pea, sweets, sweetie, hun, etc...all of the time. So just out of habit, I may call my friends that as well..no biggie! No offense is, or ever will be, taken!
  • ImNotThatBob
    ImNotThatBob Posts: 371 Member
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    He writes this back, something along the lines of "I forgot you were Southern. Up here we reserve pet names for our spouse. It freaked me out. I asked my buddies and apparently the use of pet names is more common in the South." RIGHT. I wrote him back and told him, basically, you're mean and shallow and we don't need to be friends."
    lol you think he is mean and shallow but it just seems like you are overly sensitive and uncaring about other people's cultures/backgrounds. You want other people to respect your words and reasoning but you won't respect their's. smh
    That's like a Mexican getting mad at a Texan because they speak tex-mex and use words differently
    definitely not uncaring of other people's cultures. just think he's shallow. i respect people when they earn my respect. later, chick.
    lol sorry. I didnt realize the post was just a rant to validate your actions :)
    I think the fact that you called him mean and shallow was... well, mean and shallow!
    He was honest with you and told you that he wasn't comfortable being called "honey" by someone he isn't in a relationship with - and you called him shallow????

    This forum is full of people from different backgrounds and cultures and I think we should all be respectful of that.
    I would not be comfortable if a male online friend called me "honey". If it was a woman I would think it was odd but would accept that is the way that person expressed themselves.

    We're all different - that's what makes life interesting!
    Good point....maybe neither side was really mean or shallow, just different. If he felt bothered by it, instead of just deleting her comments maybe he could have told her in a private message. i know if I was doing something to upset someone I would prefer they tell me, instead of avoiding the problem. Perhaps the OP could have come to understand that, this person, in particular was a little sensitive to that. Not change her personality, of course, but just be aware of it.

    But overall, as i said in my previous comments, the OP sounds like a nice person, and it doesn't bother me particularly to be called an affectionate pet name, as long as its not creepy or completely out of the blue. Sometimes it can help brighten my day. ...but not everybody is the same...as you said, people are different, and we gotta share the world, so we may as well learn how to work with each other. I like it.
    other-side of the coin perspective--nice.

    That last quote finally gets to the heart of the matter, COMMUNICATION. If he had just politely PM'd BamaMomma, explained his situation and asked her to please not use pet names with him, she probably would have not had any problem doing that. Instead he deleted her posts (which IS rude, uncaring and thoughtlessly mean). Better for him to have politely stated what he didn't appreciate and mutually delete one another's friend status (kind of like a no-fault divorce without the t-shirts and cute pet names ie. the aforementioned @sshole, b!tch, *kitten* for brains, etc.)

    It was only AFTER BamaMomma Messaged him asking WTF that he attempted to tell her he had a problem with it, and then in a sarcastic way.

    By then the damage was done, the proverbial *kitten* had hit the fan and was in serious rotation.

    Moral of the story... play nice! If you have an issue with someone, discuss it privately with respect. After all, we presumably are all here for the same reason... to give and receive encouragement towards reaching our health & fitness goals.

    Jessica, I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself.

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