self acceptance.

maletac

So this may sound weird coming from a guy ... or maybe i just feel weird saying this... but for some reason everyone else sees something i dont... ive actually been getting hit on by ladies and well its definitely pleasing to say the least. but i dont seem to see what they see.. part of mee feels like i have stuff i need to work on and im not really where i wanna be... the other part thinks im great and very secure in myself in other things..

kinda just curious do you just wake up one morning and look in the mirror and say YUP this is where i wanted to be... or is it something to find self acceptance now as is and be pleased with the results when they come???

chevy88grl

I think we are our own worst critic. What that means is.. you'll see your flaws before someone else will and unfortunately we tend to focus on those flaws and ignore the parts we do like.

I've been trying very hard to look in the mirror and not think "Hm. Wish I could get rid of the love handles" or whatever. I am slowly learning to love me - even though I'm clearly NOT perfect.

jesienia

I'm still not there. Some days I feel great and think I look decent. Other days I see a guy notice me and think he must have issues to even look my way. lol Anyway, I think it's better to accept yourself as you are and be pleased with what you accomplish rather than hoping to find acceptance if you look a certain way.

laureneva15

when you find out, let me know?
I've never seen anything good in myself yet everyone in my life keeps saying all these great things about me.
People keep saying I look great... I haven't even lost anything - then again some of them said it two days after I told them I had started so I think they may be saying it out of obligation or motivation.

But the chicks hitting on you has to be a great booster.

Hearts_2015

Sometimes it isn't even something physical a person notices but a change can bring about so much that's emotional it shows up in many obvious ways to others. You're doing something positive for yourself and that puts out something to the world when you walk through it, that's likely what others are noticing when they pay attention to you.

We all change so much through this process, watch your friends on here you'll see many changes take place that aren't all physical, it's amazing to watch the transformations.

xMissy6x

Coming from someone who has very little self esteem..... I dont think it's possible to just wake one day and be happy where we are. I think is more trying to focus on the positive things and when we do things well reward ourselves. Then eventually we will feel comfortable enough to accept. Bit if there's a magic pill or something let me know lol.

allie7383

I def think a big part of this journey we're all on is mental. At work I get complimented on and people tell me I'm getting smaller, even though I've lost maybe 10 pounds since January.. and this is while wearing my now too big scrubs.. I check myself out constantly at home, and while some days I like what I see, a lot of the time I still see myself at 193.. Instead of the improvements all I see are the things that I still need work on.. I just think that it takes your brain a lot longer to catch up to your, and everyone else's eyes, ya know? Girls, guys, we all struggle with self-image.. Def not weird to feel like that, asI'm sure many of us on here have been or are going through the same thing.. I think it's just as important to be excited about where you are today as it is to picture yourself at your goal..

xMissy6x

Coming from someone who has very little self esteem..... I dont think it's possible to just wake one day and be happy where we are. I think is more trying to focus on the positive things and when we do things well reward ourselves. Then eventually we will feel comfortable enough to accept. Bit if there's a magic pill or something let me know lol.

helloiloveukitty

I still feel like a fat girl a lot of the time. I look in the mirror and see not a fat chick but it doesn't really connect. People treat me like a slim attractive girl and that's nice but weird to me. I can relate but I have no advice on how to deal with it. I am happy with the person I am inside so I just figure outside will match or it won't...and maybe someday I hope to see and accept and understand what I see in the mirror.

Elle408

I still feel like a fat girl a lot of the time. I look in the mirror and see not a fat chick but it doesn't really connect. People treat me like a slim attractive girl and that's nice but weird to me. I can relate but I have no advice on how to deal with it. I am happy with the person I am inside so I just figure outside will match or it won't...and maybe someday I hope to see and accept and understand what I see in the mirror.

You read my mind! I would say exactly the same thing... I mean, I was always the fat girl with a pretty face... and now i'm just attractive but my mind hasn't caught up. I still fidget with my clothes when people look at me and try and conceal my bum and tummy and I still won't look people in the eye... it's been 4 months since I hit goal and about 7/8 months since I got 'thin' and I'm still not convinced that i'm worthy of being hit on... I do have moments of clarity and acceptance where I think 'Heck yeah, I did it..' but they're fleeting!

I think I know logically now that i'm more socially acceptable and through that I can feign confidence but I don't feel it...

So yeah, no advice, but i feel ya!

lauramorris85

I wish I had an answer.

There are some days I feel like look great and can't wait to see what else I can achieve but am generally satisfied with how I look. Other days I see this pudge that wasn't there before and think I'm gaining weight back and getting bigger again. My fiance says I'm crazy and I look amazing but I don't see it. I see flab that needs to disappear.