Man advice needed!

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  • turbofiregirl
    turbofiregirl Posts: 59
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    Out of some personal experience here, I would probably say - Some feelings are better left unsaid. I strongly believe that if a guy wants to be with you, he will make it happen, no matter what. If he has the same strong feelings for you, I am sure that he would come way out of his comfort zone and let you know very openly and make it a serious conversation.

    Since he's your best buddy, it only makes things verry complicated for you. Trust me, I know how it feels. Good luck.

    P.S - Just know one thing, if it has to happen, it will, else there is definitely some else waiting to happen and who knows, its might just be better than the best.
  • AndrewTub
    AndrewTub Posts: 86 Member
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    Don't say anything ! ! You could end up losing a good friend. Best thing to do would just be a good friend to him, maybe ask about how his gf is and how they are getting on. If he sounds really positive about them then you'll have to get over him. If he starts saying that it isn't going too well then just be there for him and things might just fall into place.
  • ziggy67
    ziggy67 Posts: 351
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    I sympathise with you here as I have been there too....(many years ago mind!). I am no agony aunt but I only found peace of mind when I left my job and moved on. This is where you'll find out the true extent of this guys feelings for you because if he really cares about you (in the same way as you care about him) he will be so upset that you are leaving and will try and persuade you to stay. If he is indifferent you will know he only cared because you were a comaptible workmate that was there in his face every day.
    I too would never want to damage a relationship between two people so you have answered your own question I think.
    That reminds me.....Here's to all the guys I loved before...wherever you are!!! :ohwell:
  • ljd0693
    ljd0693 Posts: 289 Member
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    If he's been with the same girl for over 10 years and hasn't married her then that relationship has big problems anyway.
  • BuffTexan
    BuffTexan Posts: 270
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    Wow, a lot of good replies both FOR and AGAINST telling him. Here's my .02, FWIW (45 yrs old, been around a bit):

    This guy has a gf of 10 yrs and is intentionally flirting with you?? You said you're 99% sure he likes you beyond a basic friendship, right? RED FLAG! How would YOU feel if you were his gf of 10 yrs? Which brings me to my 2nd point: a gf for 10 yrs?!? Does this guy have commitment issues? At what point is he going to ask her to marry him? Or, is he keeping all options open?

    There's a chemical reaction in our brains when we go through this kind of love/infatuation thing. Feelings of "he's the one" or "I can't live without him" to "we'll always be in love." Those feelings are short-lived, trust me. Do you want to be his gf of 3 yrs only to find out he: #1 doesn't intend on marrying you and #2 is flirting with his co-workers?

    There are a lot of good men out there, but none are perfect. The one you're after is taken, he knows it and so do you.
  • katherines2230
    katherines2230 Posts: 276 Member
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    I was in a very similar situation recently, except I was the one in the relationship and somehow developed feelings for a long time friend if mine. Turns out we both shared the same feelings for each other but weren't able to cope until we had openly talked about our feelings.

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