Grumpy Hubby makes me want to eat....

Options
2»

Replies

  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
    Options
    I am sorry hun... That does not sound like the most positive environment.

    Sit down and get to the bottom of whatever is bothering him. Is it related to your weight loss? Or is it something else all together?

    You could stay home and raise your baby or you could get a job and pay someone big bucks to raise your baby? I think you are making the right choice staying home. :)

    Exactly. The amount of money I'd be making right now would only pay for daycare. So no thanks.

    Exactly!!!! It's not worth my kids sitting in front of the tv all day at the daycare providers....thanks but no thanks. I have seen many providers that have too many kids and cant handle it!
  • tdotwitch
    tdotwitch Posts: 25 Member
    Options
    You're hubby should seek some help cuz it sounds like he's suffering from depression. My man gets the same way. We argue a lot. 2 ppl living with depression in the same household means arguing. I don't let it get to me anymore. I've found out that anger really helps with working out. I've got all this adrenaline rushing through me and exercising is the best way to work it off. Also if you let him get to you then you're not gonna feel good about yourself. Did this start after you started wanting to feel better about yourself? If so then he's scared he'll lose you. Men are weird creatures. My advice is that if he continues you tell him to seek help. Feel free to add me if you need some motivation when you're feeling low.
  • jjbraid
    jjbraid Posts: 54 Member
    Options
    You obviously like to work with people (CNA). Try looking into being an aide at a day care center. They usually offer lower if not free day care for the workers children. You get to be with your kids and work at the same time. I did it with my daughter until she got old enough for school then I went back to school myself. It is also possible he is resenting your new body. Maybe his anger is a defense mechanism for his jealousy and that you might find someone better than him.
  • spgabby86
    spgabby86 Posts: 323 Member
    Options
    Well I do understand...I've only been married 3 years so I may not have the best advice...but I agree that if you're in church discuss this with your pastor and let him/her help you guys through this rough patch. Talking to a professional I know can be helpful, in or out of the church.

    I'm sure that anyone that has been or is married knows what it's like to hit a 'ROUGH PATCH" and sometimes those patches can last a long while.

    I am thankful that my husband and I have a WONDERFUL PASTOR and 1st Lady that we both talk to during times of troubles...but we always take it to God and let him do the rest...

    There have been times that we both wanted OUT...but God's word has helped us to "work it out"...

    Hope this helps...

    :love:
  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
    Options
    My thoughts exactly! He has been worse in the last couple years. Our friends dont come over anymore because he is constantly degrading me in front of them. Its sickening.
  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
    Options
    You're hubby should seek some help cuz it sounds like he's suffering from depression. My man gets the same way. We argue a lot. 2 ppl living with depression in the same household means arguing. I don't let it get to me anymore. I've found out that anger really helps with working out. I've got all this adrenaline rushing through me and exercising is the best way to work it off. Also if you let him get to you then you're not gonna feel good about yourself. Did this start after you started wanting to feel better about yourself? If so then he's scared he'll lose you. Men are weird creatures. My advice is that if he continues you tell him to seek help. Feel free to add me if you need some motivation when you're feeling low.

    That is very true. He could very well be depressed....just wondering if he would ever want to get help. Maybe if he sees what it is doing to me he will!
  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
    Options
    Could you stay home with your child and see if anyone in your neighborhood needs someone would pay you to watch there child that way you are staying home with your child but also helping with money.

    I have a friend that is having a baby in March but thats a pretty long time from now....he wants me to get a job NOW. Even if it means I work nights and never see him. :( Kinda stings ya know?
  • SusM321
    SusM321 Posts: 141 Member
    Options
    Seek counseling soon! If he refuses to do couples the go for yourself. You do not deserve to be treated that way by anyone. Don't be accepting of his behavior, don't give him permission to talk to you like that, it just isn't nice. Let him know he doesn't have your permission to treat you like that. I have found that we are treated exactly how we "allow" others to treat us! You are so deserving & worthy of being treated kindly!! I've been there. Won't go there again. Good luck with this. We are here if you need us! Hugs
  • MrsPike07
    MrsPike07 Posts: 160
    Options
    If he treated me that way, I'd be like... eff him! I don't and won't put up with a man treating me like *kitten* just because he's going through some issues. I've walked away from that before...
    NO man needs to treat their wife that way.

    If he's always been that way, I'd walk out...I highly recommend it if you have the means...but if it's something just recent, then there is underlying issues that he has that he's not talking to you about...If you're wanting to work it out, and he's willing, counseling would be the thing....

    I have put up with so much already and I feel like I am a failure if I give up now. I mean we have a beautiful baby girl together that adores he Daddy. How do I take her away from this house? He will fight tooth and nail for her but I would never go without my babies! :)
  • SusM321
    SusM321 Posts: 141 Member
    Options
    My thoughts exactly! He has been worse in the last couple years. Our friends dont come over anymore because he is constantly degrading me in front of them. Its sickening.

    I just have to put this out there....I was with/married to an emotionally abusive, functional alcoholic for 13 years. I stayed in hopes of it getting better, of him changing, maybe a little "for the kids" (not a good idea); nothing changed for years. I went through counseling (he wouldn't). Things have changed. I have changed, I have forgiven him & myself. I am no longer a bitter person. I have no regrets.

    I pray that things work out favorably and you two can work through this trying time in your marriage. I still believe in the union of marriage and til death do you part (my parents & many others did it), you just BOTH have to work on it constantly! God Bless
  • BroiledNotFried
    BroiledNotFried Posts: 446 Member
    Options
    It sounds like you are in an emotionally abusive relationship.

    I'd sit down, calmly with him and ask him if he wants to live the rest of his life as an unhappy person. Whether he wants his kids to grow up in an unhappy home, or if you both can put on your big boy pants and work towards a change. Ask him what to do to change. Ask him to come up with some solutions.
  • tdotwitch
    tdotwitch Posts: 25 Member
    Options
    It took 12 yrs of me telling him that he was suffering from depression b4 he figured it out. he's epileptic and he realized it was aggravating his epilepsy. Men don't like to admit they need help. one technique I've used with him is freezing him out for a couple of hrs. You don't speak or look at him till he's calm enough to talk. You could also try going to visit your family or friends for a couple of days. Men never think b4 they open their mouths and it can be hurtful. Just don't let it get to you so bad that you're the one suffering. If he's doing it daily you're gonna have to come up with a plan cuz it's not healthy or fair to you.

Categories