Fat Vs Skinny Criticisms

NikkisNewStart

Why do people think it is acceptable to make rude comments and remarks to skinny people such as:

"Eat something"
"You're going to blow away"
"You look emaciated"

When they wouldn't DARE say anything like that to an overweight person such as:

"Push away from the table"
"Save the whales, go back to the sea"
"You look like you ate an elephant"

Why do people think one set of insults to the "skinny" population is acceptable and the other to the "overweight" population is not? They all hurt just the same and serve absolutely no purpose but to try and bring someone down and kill their spirit.

Having been on both ends of the spectrum, I've experienced both and they suck just the same. Thoughts?

Dtho5159

I agree!!

rachmaree

I don't know, but I am so tired of people assuming I don't eat anything!! Have a look at my food diary! I eat loads... and the whole 'you're so skinny, one cookie won't hurt...' I find it is particularly difficult here in Turkey where women, especially, aren't into fitness at all, and the men generally like women to be a little chubby. They can't understand that I enjoy working out and being healthy. Mother in law used to serve me the same size portions she gave to all the men!

Harris_C

Sort of related:

I've noticed that, generally, people are nicer and smile more at me now that I've lost weight. Its quite appalling.

SueInAz

I've noticed that, generally, people are nicer and smile more at me now that I've lost weight. Its quite appalling.

I've seen this argued a few ways. Some think that it may have more to do with YOUR attitude than that people are really treating the "old" you differently. When we lose weight, we gain confidence, we smile more ourselves and are generally happier. People respond to that, in kind.

shiggyshane

hate to say it but its a shallow and cold world out there..

DianaPowerUp

I had one guy say to me (on FB), "Eat a sammich!" (spelled that way). I don't worry about what other people think or say, even if it's rude. I figure that I know what I need to do to be healthy, and it shows, and most other people don't. So why should I even think about what someone says to me like that. Chances are pretty good that they could use some diet revamping and exercise themselves.

maillemaker

I've noticed that, generally, people are nicer and smile more at me now that I've lost weight. Its quite appalling.

Yup. Pretty people also tend to earn more money.

I think people are more apt to rib skinny people than fat people because it is perceived as much easier to gain weight (eating is enjoyable) than to lose weight (starving is painful).

sharonsjones

I'm totally with you on this. People will tell me "You don't have enough meat on your bones or I don't know why your worried about what your eating, your skinny" They don't realize that I work very hard to look this way.

ItsCasey

I wouldn't say it's true that people never make rude comments about fat people (even to their faces). But yes, it is considered more acceptable to make comments about thin people because it's assumed the comments relate to that person's health (i.e. it may seem like he/she is malnourished or has an obsession with being thin), whereas, with fat people, it's mostly just about their appearance. But I know it can be hurtful either way.

Matiara

I agree also. When I was a teenager, I rarely exercised and ate like a horse, but my weight never went above 125-130 (I'm 5'10"). Though I was a size 4, I wasn't skin and bones or anything because of the way that my body carries weight. I even had curves. Still, I was very thin.

People would make remarks that I must not eat much, I would get dirty looks from heavy women, servers in restaurants would be astonished when I ordered highly caloric meals, and my relatives would call me "Skinny Mini", and not in a complimentary way.

My mom was plus sized and every time I went into Lane Bryant with her, the "What Real Women Wear" slogan plastered on their wall would annoy me no end. If someone isn't a size 14+, they're not a "real" woman? To me, that's the flipside of the Hollywood thinness standard and it's just as absurd.

I weigh 170 now, but outside of my tummy, which is carefully camoflauged by my clothing, I'm still thin and I'm still the recipient of barbs about my eating habits, Whenever someone brings in goodies to work and I don't partake, there's always some commentary from my coworkers about how they can tell I don't eat anything "fun" just by looking at me. Most of them are overweight and I've *never* made a comment about what they do or don't eat.

My overweight friends are very hurt when someone says something rude regarding their weight and I sympathize with them. However, they can't understand why rude comments made to me about my weight upset me and I get no sympathy. *shrug*

smashleymcgee

People are rude. Plain and simple.

Grimmerick

I think if someone would make a rude remark to a skinny person they would make a rude one to a heavy person as well. I don't think it's skinny or fat, I think it has to do with the rude person. Any normal polite person would know it isn't appropriate to say anything about either.

NikkisNewStart

I wouldn't say it's true that people never make rude comments about fat people (even to their faces). But yes, it is considered more acceptable to make comments about thin people because it's assumed the comments relate to that person's health (i.e. it may seem like he/she is malnourished or has an obsession with being thin), whereas, with fat people, it's mostly just about their appearance. But I know it can be hurtful either way.

This is a spin off rant... it also ticks me off that some people assume b/c someone is a healthy weight (aka thin or skinny in today's view) that he/she is either on drugs, starving, purging, etc... it is UNTHINKABLE that that person actually eats and exercises...

It irks me that being overweight is so accepted that no one even bothers to question it. I was unhealthy at my former weight yet no one even said a word... it was accepted and "normal."

Yet every where you turn there is an infomercial for some kind of diet drug, exercise dvd, or get thin quick scheme and it is a multi billion dollar business.

The world's view on health is so messed up that the majority of Americans believe being healthy and a normal weight is IMPOSSIBLE without doing something dangerous or unhealthy to get there.

Now that I am healthy- there is definitely discrimination that comes out like I am some sort of enemy that has betrayed my brethren. Yet those brethren are the ones spending billions of dollars on the get skinny quick schemes. Ironic indeed.

calibri

I had one guy say to me (on FB), "Eat a sammich!" (spelled that way).

You should have told him to go make you one.

LuckyLeprechaun

i feel self-conscious when I meet someone new lately, because they are meeting the few-lbs-away-from-goal me, they don't have the background info that I have lost so much weight. My new coworkers make me feel really weird, bringing my lunch to work instead of eating the cafeteria food (shudder) with them. I had to finally break it down and tell them, I've worked a long time at this, and I've racked up 77 lbs lost, so that's why I still eat like this...even though to their perspective I'm fine as is.

koosdel

"Push away from the table"


"Save the whales, go back to the sea"


"You look like you ate an elephant"



Seriously.. I wish someone would have had the cajones to tell me this.

TheMaidOfAstolat

I get this all the time. I work hard to stay thin...I've never been overweight so I don't know what it's like to be on that side. However, I don't want to end up on that side and when people say to 'eat a cookie...it won't hurt'...I just want to yell at them. I want to stay this size, I don't want to gain the weight, I don't want to become 'large'. I know that is a cruel statement to make but I want to be proactive in my lifestyle and not have some of the health issues that others have that are on MFP. I love every one of my friends on here and I know their struggles and they know mine...but the outside world is blind to these. I keep my mouth shut and move on.

RedNeckGal1970

I have to agree that it's not a skinny vs. fat thing. It's just some people are rude and insecure and jealous no matter what. When I was thin and very attractive (working in a grocery store as a cashier seeing what everyone bought to eat) , I got extremely dirty looks from a lot of heavy ladies, even though I would be super nice to them, and make comments like, "oh my gosh... aren't these cookies the best? I just love them!" trying to make them realize I wasn't judging them or what they ate, heck I ate the same thing as them. A few of them would make rude comments like, "what do you do... make yourself puke after you eat them?" WHAT??? How rude! Guess what? Now that I am heavy... those same ladies still give me dirty looks and make snarky comments like, "well... look who quit making herself barf!" Whoa... I am still the same person, friendly to every person I meet... short, tall, fat, thin, in between, male, female, black, white, brown, rich, poor whatever. Who am I to judge?? I just love people. They just don't always love me.

So I have come to the conclusion if some one is rude and makes rude comments, it really has nothing to do with me. The will find something to say about who ever, because they are insecure with themselves. Even when they do say something rude, trying to get to me... I just smile and crack a joke at my own expense... and laugh it off. In my teens or early 20's I decided that no matter what, I would challenge myself to make sure that every single person I come across is happier when we walk away from each other than when we first saw each other. I learned that whatever nice thing I say to them, or the smile that I give them or the pat on the hand, hug around the shoulder (I'm a very outgoing and physical person) or joke I tell them, may be the only act of kindness they will have that day, that week... who knows, maybe it's stupid. But I feel good about it. I have met some pretty "not nice" people and got to know them and saw what their home life was, and I understood why they were the way they were. No one was nice to them, their parents actually told them that they wished they had never had them, that their life would be better with out them as their child!!! Who does that? How can a person who has never seen love, been loved or even treated decent (by the ones who are supposed to love them the most) know how to treat others nicely? They don't even know what nice is, unless we take it upon ourselves to show them.

So when someone makes ugly remarks about us, whether we are skinny or fat or somewhere in between, lets try not to get offended or our feelings hurt and realize that it isn't about us, the person making those comments have plenty of problems of their own. Try to be nice to them and win them over with kindness that they may never have seen before.

This is just a suggestion. I'm not trying to make little of the rude comments or how much they can hurt us if we let it. I'm just saying this is what I have found works for me. I hate to admit it, but I have actually been known to bust out in song to rude customers or people on the street... I usually sing them "Don't worry... Be Happy" just cause that is a song that is so annoying it get's stuck in your head and I know that they will go the rest of the day with that some playing over and over in their mind. And I have a terrible singing voice... so it takes a lot of nerve.

Bet you'll have the song stuck in your head too!

Qarol

I had to learn this the hard way. Years ago, I thought calling someone skinny or whatever was a compliment. I would have LOVED to warrant that from someone. I made friends with a very naturally skinny girl. After several months of being friends, she told me she no longer wanted to be friends because of all the times I called her skinny. I had no idea I was offending her each time, that she was keeping track, and resenting it. She never gave me the chance to correct my behavior. She just ended the friendship. She may have been preparing to end it, but from my perspective, it was very abrupt. It was hard to get over. And learned a hard lesson.