"I love you too"

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francena84
francena84 Posts: 99
in Chit-Chat
Ok so quick question for you love birds out there, I have been with my boyfriend for 7 months now and I always kiss him good night and tell him I love you, and he says I love you too.. Nights I dont say I love you he says nothing and goes to sleep... This is really bothering me, I know he loves me he takes care of me, but he doesnt say it.. My question to you is, is this normal? How often should you tell your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband that you love them?? I say it just about every night, i want him to say it though.. If I dont say I love youm he wont say it back.. basically I want him to tell me at times.. UGH!! Im so worried about this, I almost want to cry at times thinking that he doesnt love me, Am i just over thinking it??
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Replies

  • AudgePaudge
    AudgePaudge Posts: 537 Member
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    I might be a horrible wife but...I don't tell my husband I love him as much as I should. I love him very much, but he just says it constantly through out the day. He just beats me to it!!
  • brewingaz
    brewingaz Posts: 1,136 Member
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    Just stop telling him.
  • JennaM222
    JennaM222 Posts: 1,996 Member
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    you ARE over thinking.

    I have been with my BF for a year and a half - just this past weekend he said, I Love you. I am glad he waited to tell me. you know why> beacause then he REALLY means it. He just isnt saying it becasue I did, or so I dont feel bad. That isnt love anyways, that seems more like pitty.

    When I told my boyfriend I loved him ( only the second time i have siad this to any guy ) I also said I dont want you to say anything, but I love you so much that I just have to tell you, becasue I cant keep it inside any more.
  • francena84
    francena84 Posts: 99
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    Just stop telling him.


    You Know i did for like 3 days and told him haha im weak
  • francena84
    francena84 Posts: 99
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    you ARE over thinking.

    I have been with my BF for a year and a half - just this past weekend he said, I Love you. I am glad he waited to tell me. you know why> beacause then he REALLY means it. He just isnt saying it becasue I did, or so I dont feel bad. That isnt love anyways, that seems more like pitty.

    When I told my boyfriend I loved him ( only the second time i have siad this to any guy ) I also said I dont want you to say anything, but I love you so much that I just have to tell you, becasue I cant keep it inside any more.


    You are so right, this is exactly what I want him to do... I do over think it, I dont want these special words to become old or like a chore to say.. then it becomes robotic and loses its meaning...
  • MissAnjy
    MissAnjy Posts: 2,480 Member
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    I think that guys just honestly don't think about it as much as some women do. I don't think it means anything at all, and I definitely think you're overthinking it. Also, remember, they are JUST WORDS. A man can say "i love you" after beating you in the face. Does it mean he loves you just because he SAID IT?
    Go by your boyfriends actions. Does he ACT like he loves you? That means a hell of a lot more than 3 words that anyone who can string a sentence together, can say.
  • Kityngirl
    Kityngirl Posts: 14,332 Member
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    Honestly, actions speak a lot louder than words, I've had BFs that have told me all the time that they loved me, yet treated me badly. I'd stop overthinking whether or not he says those words without prompting and focus on whether he makes you happy or not. imo. :flowerforyou:
  • BethanieK
    BethanieK Posts: 201
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    I think it's your own insecurities that you need to deal with. If you feel like he is supportive, encouraging, and does indeed love you----why do you need verbal confirmation constantly? If it's really bothering you, tell him about it. COmmunication is the key to any strong, and lasting relationship.
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
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    My BF and I have been together almost a year. We haven't said it to each other. It doesn't mean we don't love each other... just means we're not ready to say it. I'm mainly holding out because I'm constantly the one to do/say sweet things to/for him:)

    And this is a battle I shall win!


    PS - You're overthinking it.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,022 Member
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    I would not put up with that crap. If he doesn't love you, then you need to run - not walk - away. Life is too short. If he does love you and it has been made clear to him that you NEED to hear it from him, then he needs to step up to the plate. If you're worried that asking him to say it is going to freak him out and cause him to leave, let him go! There are plenty of real, grown men in the world who aren't afraid of those words.

    When you find yourself making excuses for why the man in your life doesn't make you feel loved, there is a problem.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    I would say its not normal. My husband says it nearly 50 times a day it seems like. I respond back and might even say it again lol! We use it all the freaking time. We've been married for over two years so its not puppy love. I would be bothered by someone not initating it every once in awhile. All you can do is ask him personally. He might have never learned to use it?
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
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    When I tell my wife that I love her, she responds with "do you want to get something to eat?"

    Haha...same deal here. It's not a huge deal between us. We both know we love each other. Sometimes it does bother me that she only says if I say it first but she's always been that way.
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,370 Member
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    I wouldn`t worry about it,remember that guys and gals are just wired different in emotional responses.
    A lot of guys are not used to saying "I love you" when it is a deep feeling.
  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
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    I would say its not normal. My husband says it nearly 50 times a day it seems like. I respond back and might even say it again lol! We use it all the freaking time. We've been married for over two years so its not puppy love. I would be bothered by someone not initating it every once in awhile. All you can do is ask him personally. He might have never learned to use it?

    i think your husband is not normal.
  • Babushka_Dolly
    Babushka_Dolly Posts: 114 Member
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    When I tell my wife that I love her, she responds with "do you want to get something to eat?"

    HaHa! That's amazing!
  • skinnywithin
    skinnywithin Posts: 1,392 Member
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    Well I am very much a romatic and I say it when ever the mood stikes me, not to mention I tell my son and friends when ever I talk to them or see them, I am very passionate about making sure someone knows how you feel because you never know what tomorrow brings !! I have brought my son up the same way...he is almost 18 and he still tells me everynight and when ever he leaves the house or right before we hang up...NOW he gets a lot of grief from his friends but he is quick to let them know that if something was to happen to either one of us at least we said it.

    NEVER EVER hold back on your TRUE feeling !!!!!!!!!!! if you feel it say it..tell him that he doesnt have to respond back to it...I mean maybe he is not there yet, woman get more attached than men so give it time ! When he is ready and his heart is truly in it he will surprise you !! and just becasue YOU tell HIM that you love him DOES NOT MEAN he has to respond back to you the same way.

    I lost my DAD 11 years ago and on that day when I called him I didnt get to say I love you and it has haunted me everyday ! SO please make sure the people who care so much to you are aware of your true feelings!
  • scubacat
    scubacat Posts: 346 Member
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    My husband doesn't say it very much to me, only if I initiate it, then he would reciprocate. I know that he loves me (he better :laugh: ) I think most guys are not wired the way we expect them to be. I just accept it for what it is. Although, I have to admit, it would be nice to hear.
  • hroush
    hroush Posts: 2,073 Member
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    My wife is the same as you and I your boyfriend. If we are the same, we just don't think about it. Personally, I grew up in a house where it wasn't said and few emotions were expressed, so I don't see how she expects me to suddenly change into saying it multiple times a day.
  • liftingbro
    liftingbro Posts: 2,029 Member
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    My wife is the same as you and I your boyfriend. If we are the same, we just don't think about it. Personally, I grew up in a house where it wasn't said and few emotions were expressed, so I don't see how she expects me to suddenly change into saying it multiple times a day.

    That's the same for us. My wife and I both grew up in stoic homes where it wasn't something that was said a lot. Now, we both tell our daughter at least once a day, usually like 10+, that we love her. However, not so much between us but I think when I kiss my wife goodnight and before she goes out the door for work and I call her at work just to make sure she's having a good day or when she does all the things wives do to take care fo their hubby, we know we love each other.

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